“Boxed In” Blog #52

How about this for a start to our day ~ Let’s crack the Box wide open!

We wake up, stretch and walk over to our mirror. We look in the mirror and we say the

following firmly, “I will tell the truth today. I will tell the whole truth, and nothing but the

truth to myself and others, so help me God”. Can we do thls ALL day long?

Remember when we were little, everything seemed to appear so much bigger?

Remember how our house looked giant? Everything in our world was brand new?

Now, how quickly we take our sacred life for granted. How often we feel overwhelmed?

How many times are we forced to admit,” I can’t climb out of this box I’m in”.

However, the human body is unbelievably strong, honest at its core and knows right

from wrong. Every minute of every day the body is healing itself.

So, what are the requirements for being and feeling “boxed in?”

There are four corners to this “box.”

!. The first corner is “LIES”. Lying to oneself, about anything at all.

2. The second corner is “FEAR”. Fear of the truth, that lies deep within.

3. The third corner is “GUILT”. Guilt about the way life was handled in the past.

4. The fourth corner is “BLAME”. So much of our past is blamed on doing it wrong.

We have all heard the old adage, “Tell one lie and ten lies will be told to you.”

I remember a story about myself in middle school. Shortly after I moved over to my

Grandpas house, my aunts had purchased a nice used bike for me. I was beyond

excited. After I had started my new school, I was aware immediately of the cliques and

groups of kids who were the “haves” and the “have-nots”. I was definitely a have not.

There were the popular girls with their Sabor purses, their Capezzio flats and their Mohair

sweaters. One day after gym I thought; who will ever notice if I just take a yellow mohair

sweater from a bossy, popular, pretty girls locker, who I secretly envied? She had so

many.

I did this and brought it home and hid it under my bed for the longest time. I would

figure out later how to explain it to my aunts. After a few weeks, I went to get it under the

bed and it was gone1 I didn’t dare say anything to my aunts because it was stolen and I

had not found a story to fill in all those ugly lying blanks.

Not even a week later I rode my bike up to the drop store after school, for a cherry coke.

As I came out of the store, I saw my bike had been stolen! I was beyond heart sick and

beside myself with anger as I raced home to tell my aunt what had happened. She was

old and I was young and it was just the way she looked at me that made me feel

insecure and she would never understand. I was crying hard as I walked into the

kitchen. My aunt turned from the sink where she was peeling potatoes and after

listening to my story, she firmly spoke. “How can you possibly be sad?, “she said. “The

universe always has a way of righting itself. Was the sweater you took, worth losing the

bike you loved so much?”

I felt my face go crimson. I watched as she turned her back on me. I felt humiliated to

the core. Yet, I had learned a very powerful lesson. It was not only about stealing

something, but the lies that go with it. I had been lying to myself and others as well.

There’s an old saying that goes like this, “oh, the vicious webs we weave, when we

practice to deceive”.

It is very difficult to tell the truth to ourself twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.

So…….. we justify, we ratlionalize, we dread, we ignore and……. we put off the TRUTH.

What am I talking about here? I am talking about complete honesty.

Way back in middle school it was hard to be honest with myself. I did not have the

right to take something that belonged to another. Let alone carry such jeolousy

and anger. Yet, once we go down that path, we rationalize truth away. Luckily, the bike

incident and a severe aunts lecture taught me early on about this important virtue. I

never forgot it. I learned my painful lesson.

Perhaps there is someone that really needs to hear the truth from you TODAY?

Are you brave enough to tell the whole truth to this person?.

How would it change a relationship? What is to be gained from doing this?

We are all ministers to one another. We are all here to help each other. If we lie and are

guilty of making a choice that was impulsive, we can learn from it. Who do we blame

for things in our life? Above all, where is our fear coming from? Well, there are only so

many parts to the day that we exist in. We sleep, we eat, we work, we socialize.

NOW - in the working and socializing of our lives come the dilemmas, the dramas, and

the dis-ease, and at times….darkness. It’s important to ask ourself, “do we like and can we tolerate the work we do?”

If so, then it’s not the work. Do we feel peace-filled around those in our inner-circle?

If not, WHY NOT? What is there to discuss? Is there a white elephant in the room?

If we don’t address our biggest concerns, where do they go? How are they handled?

Trust me - they eventually manifest in our health somehow. Or, if another person

needs to be dealt with and you put it off, there will be more high drama until you

address it. If we have children that need our attention, or our guidance we must step up

to the plate or reap the consequences. If there is a family member or someone close

that needs to hear an “honest appeal”, best to pray first for guidance asking, “Thank

you for resolving things between this person and myself for the highest good of all.”

Then march right in and talk truth, tactfully, truthfully and with unconditional love in

your heart. It will all work out for the best.

Now, onto “being Boxed in” …. in this “box” we create for ourselves. We can easily

disassemble this box! We must disassemble this box. Draw a picture of “goal posts” on

four corners of a page. We need only put up boundaries to live within these goal posts.

Herein are the “goal posts of GOLD and the new framework of our lives, IF you choose to

accept this. we can paste to our refrigerator.

1. GRACE - Gods grace replaces blame.

2. FAITH replaces all our Fear.

3. HONESTY replaces all the Lies.

4. BRAVERY replaces all Blame.

My recipe for Healthy Living starts with HUMILITY.

Each person needs to possess 100% Humility.

Saying each morning, “Not my way today Lord, but THY WAY today Lord”.

Humility Definition:

“A person with humility needs to accept another way may be better than the way we

are currently living and doing things”. In other words - Humility is Freedom from pride or

arrogance. When we agree to humble ourselves, we can then hear our “higher self”

guidance. This now allows us FREEDOM from feeling and being “Boxed In”.

It all starts with one quiet earnest prayer.

‘CAN I stop feeling “Boxed in” Lord?

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“Let it Go!'' Blog #51

Have you ever been so angry it took over your thoughts day and night? Have you ever

been so afraid of something that everything in your power kept you stuck? Have you

gone back and forth, and regretted something you did or said over and over?

Absolutely, most of us can answer yes to all of the above. Anger, Fear and Regret are

three thieves that rob us all of our peaceful self content. Lots of us have said we need to

get a hold on our tempers. That will fix everything, but only for a bit. Where does all that

anger go that resides inside of us? Others of us have said fear keeps us stuck from

doing things we really want to do. Then the other biggie, Regret, that giant sink hole that

can swallow us up fast if we but allow it.

When I was a small girl, one of my favorite things to own was a big balloon on a string.

Most often at birthday parties balloons are given out and can be hours of fun.. I

especially remember one balloon Id been given at a party. All my friends were taking

them outside and running down the block fast. As I ran out the door, my balloon

caught on the door hinge, the string dislodged and I watched in sadness as my balloon

floated up, up, up in the air and disappeared from sight. Would you believe me if I

told you that is exactly the way to make anger, fear and regret leave? Anger, Fear and

Regret can disappear from our thoughts in a blink only IF we are willing and want this to

happen!

I most certainly do not say this lightly. For I am a great example of a person that for a

very long time in my life, carried fear, held on to anger and big time, regret. I held mass

quantities of fear and my anger was bundled heavily with regret. I have to say

unequivocally that there was not one ounce of real faith working inside of me either. Did

I think that mattered? Not at all. I let this eat at me day and night. This was a life that I

had always known, why change things?

As far as I was concerned, all I needed to do was busy myself and bury myself and

consume myself in my work. I sold houses for a living, so that was not hard to do. The

biggest problem with all of that is this: there must be BALANCE in Body, Mind and Spirit in

order to not just survive…..but to thrive! Otherwise, all that darkness can eat you up and

cause serious harm in health and mind and spirit.

Yet, I did not know any of this and I was not even inerested in finding a way out. If my

thoughts that seemed to consume me so much of the time, got to be too much, I just

poured myself another glass of wine before I went to bed. I was so tired from working so

hard, this usually did the trick. I remembered my neighbor had given me a ticket to go

hear a famous guru who was giving a seminar on “Mindfulness and Peace”. My anxiety

had been getting the best of me lately, and I realized I still had the ticket. I made up my

mind to go because it was the next night.

Once I arrived it was mind-blowing. There had to be a couple thousand people

there. The crowds of people were everywhere and I somehow found a seat midway

center and packed between two very chatty individuals. I sat down and hoped no one

would talk to me. The man to my right looked like a mid 40’s science professor and was

laughing and talking animately to the woman next to him. I tried very hard to

concentrate, but this night all the tragedy and sadness in my life were catching up to

me. My anger and fear and regret had been coming out in blatent panic attacks,

randomly. I was beginning to be unsure of my self composure and I was filled with

more anger, fear and regret until it was getting to be too much. I sat there trying to

concentrate but it was hard to hear and I had decided at the intermission, I would leave.

After all, I rationalized, no one else probably had been through what I went through, so

why should I think I would learn anything here tonight any way? I was about to get the

surprise of my life.

At the intermission I was squished between people trying to make their way to the

concession stand and I just wanted to go to my car. Suddenly a hand reached out and

touched my shoulder, I turned around. It was the man who had been sitting next to me

and now he was standing here still smiling! What in the world did he want with me? I

looked over at him, almost annoyed he had the nerve to touch my shoulder. Then he

spoke some words that wound up having more impact on my inner life healing than all

the therapy sessions, all the books and tapes I had ever listened to. He looked over at

me kindly as he began to speak: “I hope you are enjoying yourself as much as I am

tonight”. he said. “You know, I lost my wife and four daughters in a house fire. I am so

thankful for the lessons I have learned from their losing their lives in the fire that night, I

hope you have a good evening.” With that remark said, he disappeared into the crowd

and I never even got to know his name! I was overcome with emotion from what he

had just said to me. Not to mention the fact that I had summed him up, sitting next to

me, to be someone that didn’t have a care in the world and maybe was even a tad

overbearing.

Yet, once again, I did not know this person at all. The universe was proving different to

me and what a learning moment this had become. Now as I hurried to my car, I was in

a state of emotional, overwhelming confusion. Yet, I also felt I was amazed at my own

inner calmness. I sat in the parking lot and cried for a very long time because I felt the

universe had showed me real truth tonight. WHAT IF everything happens to each of us

INDIVIDUALLY to learn the lessons we are suppose to learn? IF that is true, then the anger,

the fear and the regret are all blindfolds.! They are just there to get our attention,

address what we need to correct and MOVE ON. I can honestly say, my anger left me

that night for all the wrong doing I could not fix. My fear was replaced with faith

because I felt the hand of God upon my heart and turning my head in a different

direction. My regret was instantly replaced with “real reason”, understanding in that

moment, my past held the only tools I had then and when the student is ready the

teacher appears “that was then and this is now”. I started praying that night, in real

earnest, and I will not stop as long as I live. For I now know HE is here and listens to every

prayer I pray.

“Can you find a way to “Let it Go” tonight?

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“A Way Out..” Blog 50

It is so easy to get up every morning and just do the same thing. Every person likes the

familiar. We are comfortable with what we know. Change is hard. More often than not,

we are thrown into change without realizing how it came to be. Another person, an

event, a life changing moment when we leave the familiar behind. Nature in all its

beauty is a great teacher. Take for instance the furry, little caterpillar crawling around

on the ground. At some point it goes into a “cocoon” and miraculously, a Monarch

Butterfly takes its place. Why does this happen? My take on this is because it is “free

now” The lowly caterpillar crawled around the earth until it was his time. Time to

change. Time for the cocoon. Then time for the bright beautiful butterfly.

Our time on this earth is a lot like this and very important. Its important for each one of

us to separtely see the individual lessons we “each are meant to learn”. Then we evolve.

I remember a time long ago when my favorite place to be was up at my Grandpa’s

cabin. Why? This was a magical, beautiful safe place to be. More than the old log

cabin filled with history, it was the people there who created the drama, the lessons and

the memories. The old aunts were amazing cooks and they fussed day in and day out,

over my grandpa. They could make a fabulous meal morning, noon or night. Always

there were wonderful aromas coming out of the old log kitchen. Home made Danish

coffee cake baking in the oven, a pork roast marinating on the counter for dinner.

Chocolate chip cookies in the oven. On the days when the sun was out, the lake was

serene and smooth. Water skiing would be perfect. Yet my aunts would be scurrying

around after the big breakfast dishes and now on to the morning wash. Hanging the

white sheets out on the line with clothespins clipped securely in the morning sun.

Nothing smelled better than fresh sheets, blowing in the breeze, and the beds made.

Yet, why do I bring this up now? Because there was a safety net of peace in all of this.

I saw how they revered and cherished and took good care their father. My own life had

been so fear based before I moved in with them. Yes, now I had a lot of chores to do, but

it made me feel good about myself, and they would always be there.

I never gave it a thought that things would change. My aunts and my grandpa were

getting old, but in my mind they were fixtures in the old summer cabin. They were tough

on me, I must say I never really felt their love. But I gleamed something so much more.

I watched and observed and saw my Grandfather for ‘who he was’ more than anything

else. My aunts would gossip and spill their anger at times on all the different family

members, and my grandpa just watched. He said nothing. He watched and listened

and ate all the good food they made. The delicious, different Devine aromas coming

out of the kitchen, somehow made me feel safe. My grandpa sitting in his big easy

chair in the great paneled vaulted room with that massive stone fireplace overlooking

the Lake, brought it all together.

What’s not to love. The entire irony of it all was me. Where was I at in my own head?

In one simple word. Young! I was young and anxious and filled with the need for

excitement. Yet, somehow my grandpa without ever knowing it, made me feel safe. His

presence and his “way of living life” gave me subtle, silent, inner hope. My own parents

were emeshed in their selfish, alcoholic, demanding world. Small children took a back

seat to their daily dark drama and by the time I was thirteen years old., internally I was

tired of the fighting, screaming, and crying that kept me awake night after night.

So I asked my aunts and my Grandpa IF I could move in with them. This is where I lived

for three years and finished high school.

I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE EASY. My aunts were demanding and tough and workaholics.

Often they talked badly about my family. They claimed to be Christians and follow the

Bible and go to church, but they didn’t live that way! It was okay for me to think badly

about my parents, but it cut to my core when my aunts said cruel things. So I was

confused a lot, but never scared there. I thought I had found solice and definitely a

“way out” of all my problems. There’s a great saying, “If you want to make God laugh,

tell him your plans”.

Living with my aunts and Grandpa was anything but easy. They were demanding. An

old German family that worked seven days a week and more if they could have! Their

life was built around their restaurant business that seemed to keep them emblazoned

with energy night and day. Ironically it was not my aunts that gave me the inner

fortitude and courage and drive I feel I have, but my Grandpa. He was the one that

lived almost to one hundred. Was there a special way out of trouble that he taught me?

No, not at all. He showed me something better. He had learned the art of acceptance

and observance and inner peace. This was a man that seldom spoke. Yet, when he did,

we all listened. This was a man way into his nineties that awoke, shaved, put on his Old

Spice and fresh ironed white shirt, rolled up his sleeves and came down to a big

breakfast every morning and started his day. He was interested in every part of life. He

read countless papers daily. He lived with his three daughters in a big colonial and

carried on quietly in life, one day at a time. Silently, he showed me he had found “a way

out” of fear. His Bible lay on the table beside his bed, opened daily. It was the simple

way he lived life that made me “feel safe” and subconsciously see I too, had “a way out”

of my fear of anything.

By the end, the big old cabin had been exchanged for a home in Arizona. The hot sun

and the desert in bloom was a great memory I still have. I watched his daughters cook

and clean and magically prepare a beautiful meal three times a day for my grandpa.

There was one morning I especially remember, he had come down to breakfast and I

smelled his clean shaven face pass by me at the table. A White linen table cloth and

five course breakfast await him. “How you feeling” today, Grandpa,?” I said. “His warm

twinkling eyes smiled back at me, as he said; “with my fingers Barbie”. I watched as he

slowly ate his morning prunes, then on to nice hot oatmeal. Coming up was a

homemade omelet with his favorite cinammon roll freshly baked and hot out of the

oven. All this topped off with a little real cream in his coffee. When my grandpa had

finished his breakfast, I sat there amazed. He knew just how to do it and was ready for

the day now. At twenty three I had a lot to learn.

Smiling, he drew a big sigh of contentment. Looking over at my aunts he spoke, “You

know girls, I’m gonna take a little rest and I‘ll see you later”. Slowly he got up and I

watched him at almost ninety seven, walk up three flights of stairs.

Then my mind shifted, it was time for a swim on such a beautiful, sunny day. I was at

the swimming pool not even an hour later. The hot sun felt good and I was drifting in

and out of sleep. My eldest aunt came running out to the pool and gestured for me to

come quickly. I went running up to my grandpas bedroom, stood there silently for a

moment and took in the peacefulness. Very slowly I walked over to my grandpa and

touched the tip of his nose, It was ice cold but the room felt warm and inviting. I

remember the sun dancing on the white Chenille bedspread that had been carefully

folded back. My grandpas dark dress pants still had the press in them as he lay on top

of the bed. His hands folded carefully over his chest. He looked so very peaceful. I

remember looking down at him and still feeling so safe by his side.

Why? Because once again, he was showing me the “way out” and it wasn’t scary at all!

My grandpa had survived and lived and thrived to be almost one hundred years old

and he showed me how he did it. Everything in his life held balance. Whether it was

food, or drink, or conversation, there was moderation in all he did. And he never judged

anyone. More than anything else he loved to laugh with his nightly show of Red Skelton.

Above all, his quiet faith endeared and showed me the “way out” of all fear.

“Knock and the door will be open, for HE is waiting. Jesus Christ is truly here.

Can your find a way out of fear with HIS light?

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“Powerful Change” Blog #49

We wake up in the morning, hopefully with a clear head. All that we did or didn’t do,

should have been resolved in prayer and meditation before we went to sleep.

Now is a brand new day. Here is a beautiful thought:

“I am content exactly where I am.”

What a wonderful surprise for each of us to discover being alone is not lonely.

“I am loved and alive and not lonely.”

There is power in this exact statement. No one person is better off than the next. We are

each given different life experiences day in and day out, to learn from. Then we move

on to the next. Our whole life is one learning experience. We are only alive to love, learn

lessons and help someone in need. Then we leave earth, only and if and when it is our

time to go. In the meantime, its okay to have fun too.. Learn to love yourself and have

fun with self. I am sure there are alot of people who just plain don’t know how to enjoy

life? My best way to start all over at the beginning of a brand New Year is this. “assume

nothing”. Do not assume it will be a beautiful or gray day tomorrow, work with today.

Do not assume other people are out to get you, ignore you, are against you. Work on

“YOU”. Make a plan for your own day and start by being good to yourself. Perhaps do

something you want to do least. Exercise? Go for a walk? Forgive someone?

TAKE NOTHING FOR GRANTED. DO NOT DEPEND ON OTHER PEOPLE FOR YOUR HAPPINESS.

When I say assume nothing, this is what I mean. No one knows the working mind of

another person. No one knows what is on their plate and the stress they carry within

them.

With that thought in mind, I am, going to tell you about a situation that happened to me

years back. I was living in another state and I had decided to go to a Weekend Seminar

on Mindfulness and Solitude. I was checked into a religious facility where the people

attending the seminar were all given a room with a twin bed, a table and a lamp. There

was a small bedside rug and a shared bathroom down the hall. No electronics. No tv’s,

no radios, no use of our phone (except for emergency). To say the least, it was very

stark. However, I loved where I was and the desert setting especially in the Springtime

was breathtaking. Now I had promised myself that I especially wanted to learn some

techniques for “peace and solitude”. After putting all my things in order, I was ready to

explore. There was a short time before dinner when we could walk the property and

meet other guests. I found a younger woman had checked in and was right next door

to me. She appeared to be near my age. I thought she would be a perfect person to

meet and start with. So I walked next door and because there was a small window in

the door, I could see she was in the room, with her back to me. I knocked on the door

quite a few times, each time a little harder. However, for what ever reason, she decided

not to come to the door and even meet me! All the same, I knocked hard one last time

and then walked away, actually quite miffed. She was a very pretty woman and I could

see that she dressed simply but lovely and carried herself well. I immediately became

frustrated and my mind was racing. “Why did I even come here”, I started to think. At

this point, I was almost ready to give up. However, I thought so many others are just

arriving and I have not even gone to my first dinner. It was important for me to give this

another chance. I am not going into the small details of every thing that raced through

my mind. But I will say this, Its amazing how my opinion of one person could taint my

day. I know I could have learned so much more if I hadn’t been focusing on this

situation and could have learned about myself. I was preoccupied with fixing a

situation that was out of my control. Was it pride? Arrogance? Anger? It doesn’t

matter. All are wrong. Here is why the end of the weekend held such importance and

why this experience meant so much to me, even after all these years. Over the next

couple of days I saw this woman off and on, every time I saw her it was somewhat ironic

that I would either be in line behind her standing for food or somewhere across the

room where our eyes did not connect. However, when I was in line behind her, at least

once or twice I tried to talk to her from behind and she did not seem to have the time of

day for me. I talked softly to her and she did not even turn around! I HAD DECIDED SHE

WAS JUST TOO STUCK UP. By the end of the seminar all of the twenty four guests were

placed in a large circle in a big room and we were were told to share why we came to

the seminar and one main thing we had learned. I sat there listening as we went

around the room and I am not going to pretend to tell you. All this time I carried with

me over the weekend, anger and confusion as to why this woman chose to just ignore

me like this. Did she think she was better than me?

Well, remember a ways back in this blog, when I mentioned “assume nothing”? By the

time the questions got to this woman across the room, I was staring right at her. Now I

could hear her respond and see just what kind of a Christian would be so unkind and

ignore me all weekend when I was trying to be her friend. Interestingly enough, it did not

turn out anything like I imagined! The universe has it’s own way of teaching different

lessons to each of us.

Suddenly there was another woman that pulled up a chair next to her. She took a paper

from this woman’s hand and began to read, “I am so thankful to be here at this seminar.

I have struggled since birth with my deafness and I now want to thank everyone who

has helped me feel welcome.”

WHAT….? What did she just say? What had I been assuming all weekend long? For the

past three days I had thought she just didn’t care to meet me! I assumed she just didn’t

want to answer the door! I ASSUMED she was too arrogant to turn around and talk to

me!

Does anything I say register in your life about assuming things? Of course we all do this.

Now is a great time to start with baby steps and just work on “O U R S E L F’. One baby

step at a time. Nobody else problems or troubles or issues are up to us to correct. We

cannot fix another human soul! We are here and alive and on earth to work on SELF.

I think there was a strong message in the story I just shared. Whether it is a family

member, or a friend, or anyone who has hurt us - it is all behind us now. There was a

lesson in that situation to learn from.

We are preparing, if you are reading this BLOG, to start now with Powerful Change. We

can all start together and be willing to say this,

“I will assume nothing from this moment forward”.

We all know from my last Blog “Who” we can call on for unseen help and HE is right here

waiting for us. The Lord Jesus Christ is our best friend. We are never alone. “The proof is

in the pudding”, as the old saying goes. Good thoughts show good actions.

Say “Lord I need You” then ask, “What is one thing I will not assume?”

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“New Year’s Hero” Blog #48

It’s the end of the year. In all honesty, can we all look back in truth? Here are some of

my favorite ideas on how I stay connected daily. As we look back, I privately reflect,

going forward, how will l do things differently? Of course, I have thought about all of my

life’s burdens, but I see, everyone has them. So how to best tackle life and If Hero’s are

out there, what DO they look like? WHY do we look for love in all the wrong places?

Because we don’t see HIM first.

Day in and day out - subconsciously, we seek happiness. Yet, its as fleeting as a

butterfly, as lasting as a moments laughter or a beautiful song. A fact to remember is

this; “Our body is the Temple of God”. Whatever does this mean, it means this: JUST TAKE

GOOD CARE OF IT.

A soul lives in your body -

Your body holds a mind -

Every one of us has health - The KEY to life is balance in ALL three of these.

First and foremost we must learn to love, respect and forgive ourself, and go from there.

Do we care for, or abuse our body daily? Do we cherish good thoughts, or do we dwell

in lies? It’s hard to start new and it takes work to improve health, nothing that is

worthwhile is easy. The baby steps count - one step at a time.

So after tomorrow its a NEW YEAR. Can we abandon all “Bad feelings” Let go of what we

cannot possibly fix?. Here is a fact of life. ONLY work on SELF. SELF is the only part of you

that you can truly work and improve on. NO ONE ELSE. In the big picture of Life, it just

doesn’t matter “what they did to you”. You must move on! HE is here for you all the way.

Each one of us are right where we are suppose to be. You are reading this, right? So life

is gonna be okay. Day after new day, then its New Year’s Day. Grab it and start a new

way.

Reflect, look back and “learn to discern” THEN move forward. Letting other peoples

problems not affect the way you choose to live your life. We put it off, don’t we?

Whether its a pill, another drink, or whatever, what can replace this now to take away the

pressure? HE will do it. HE IS THERE FOR US. HE will NEVER leave.

When we put things off til tomorrow, tomorrow still comes, then what? Are there even

more “troubled tunes” to listen to? Of course there are!

Here is a great verse from a song back when - “Love on the rocks, ain’t no surprise, just

pour me a drink and I’ll tell you some lies..”

We are still looking for that hero right? No one person has a quick fix for anything

anyway. Life is full of bumps and bruises. So many platitudes out there reminding us

that “Life is not for sissies or the faint hearted”. If all this is true, How can we possibly

measure up? Let’s go back to bed and get up again and go look in the mirror and who

do we see? YOU. Only You can get it all together and have it be okay, I promise you are

not alone anymore.

NEW YEARS start up TIP #1 Speak softly to self saying, “I can’t do it alone, Thank you for

helping me now Jesus”. Suddenly a feeling sweeps in and over us. Now we sort it out

correctly. Praying brings in LOVE, mass quantities. Then LOVE brings in Forgiving, this lifts

burdens.

The Last day of the year is tomorrow. We all have some homework to do….. New Year’s

RESOLUTIONS 2023. Here is where it is time to PUT IN WRITING AND SAY ON PAPER -

“This is the last day I will ever …………..”

“This is the last day I will try to fix someone I can’t fix ………….”

“This is the last day I will Lie to myself about anything ……………”

Put this list on your refrigerator and follow through with good actions. By writing your

resolutions you and I can STOP BEING STUCK IN DOING THE SAME THING. YES, change is

fearful. Yes, it is tiring and looking for answers alone is frightening. So today I come with

answers. Honest Life change Happens in a breath when you remember to say this,

“I thank you for helping me and walking with me now Jesus”. Then a heavy heart sighs,

for now a feeling of peace is replacing all the lies. The veil is lifting and all that is left is

YOU. You begin to feel strong and realizing now strength has been inside you all along.

The hopeless feeling is gone. HE was just waiting for YOU to be strong. When HE puts

aside the veil to finally show HIS truth, you realize that truth is crystal clear. Of course HE

has been waiting, always waiting, patiently waiting, and he shows the truth-filled, honest,

real you. For deep inside your heart, the New Years Hero is YOU!

Go forward and experience this blessed New Year 2023 with brand new tools.

Happy New Year and May God Bless you with love in your heart always.

Can you start with seven honest New Years Resolutions?

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“Believe It, Or Not” Blog #47

What beliefs make up you who you are? We are the sum total of our belief systems.

Are Santa Claus and Jesus Christ real?

We start out life by going to school, finishing school and then believing in what? STOP a

minute, many of us have no clue what to believe in! The majority of us quit studying

anything after we get out of school. We take on belief systems that “fit into the moment of

wherever we are” and we “never look back”!

FEW PEOPLE STUDY ABOUT HISTORICAL THEOLOGY, THE UNIVERSE, OR THE MAN JESUS?

We refuse to believe in miracles, yet how is a baby really made? How can billions of

different faces be created out of one circular shape? Where to rainbows REALLY come

from and then go to? What do we even know for sure?

Years ago a little girl wrote to the Editor of the New York Sun Newspaper. She asked a

simple question. It has since become history’s most reprinted newspaper editorial!

“DEAR EDITOR:

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Please tell me the

truth, is there a Santa Claus?“

Signed:

Virginia O’Hanlon.

115 West. 95th St.

New York, NY

Dear Virginia:

“Your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical

age. They do not believe except what they see. They think nothing can BE which is not

comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they’re mens or children’s,

are little. In this great universe of ours, Man is a mere insect, an ant in his intellect, as

compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable

of grasping the whole of truth and all knowledge.

YES, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus! He exists as certainly as LOVE and GENEROSITY and

DEVOTION exist. And they abound and give your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas - how

dreary the world would be IF there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there

were no Virginia’s! There would be no childlike faith, no poetry, no romance to make life

tolerable. We would have no enjoyment except sense and sight. The external light with

which childhood faith fills the world would be extinguished. Not believe in Santa Claus, you

might as well not believe in fairies! The most real things in the world are those that neither

children nor men can see. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders that are

unseen and unseeable in the world. There is a veil covering the unseen world which NOT

the strongest man or even the united strength of all the strongest men that have ever

lived, can tear apart! Only FAITH, poetry, LOVE and romance can push aside that curtain

and view the picture of the supernatural beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real?

Ah….Virginia, in all the world there is nothing else more real and abiding. No Santa Claus?

Thank God! HE lives and HE lives forever. A thousand years from now Virginia, no ten times

ten thousand years from now, HE will continue to make glad the hearts of childhood.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simple belief in something so great is a miracle in and of itself. JUST BELIEVE IN HIS LOVE.

Open your heart and you will feel it.

“One Solitary Life”

HE was born in an obscure village. HE worked in a carpenter shop until HE was thirty.

HE then became an itinerant preacher. HE never held an office. HE never had a

family, or owned a house. HE didn’t go to college. HE had no credentials but himself.

Twenty one centuries have come and gone, and today HE is the central figure of the

whole human race.

All the armies that have ever marched, all the navies that have ever sailed,

All the parliaments that have ever sat, and all the Kings that have ever reigned,

Have not affected the lives of men on this earth,

as much as this one solitary Life. (Jesus Christ)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

C. S. Lewis writes: “Once in our world a stable had something in it that was bigger than

our whole world…..”

How can anyone go out into the night, look at the moon and the stars and not believe?

HE is everything to believe in. HE was love personified. HE is the Christmas miracle. Love is

in every song, every story and every family that has ever lived. Believe now and feel safe.

Believe now and love. Believe and be at Peace.

I say this Christmas Prayer for all of us,

“May we have HIS courage to forgive someone who has hurt us badly. May we continue to

look at life with no regrets. And, may we see each other through Jesus Christ’s eyes only”.

As we come to the end of 2022 let us all remember just how fleeting Life is. None of us

knew as our family gathered together, that it would be Bridget’s last Christmas.

Now listen to Bridget….

Now I believe the soul of Bridget lives on. She is learning, and loving, and listening to

angelic guidance given for her soul’s growth. May she live eternally in the Light of Christ.

A Blessed Merry Christmas to each and everyone of you.

Can you prayerfully ask to see others through Jesus’s eyes only?

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“Pain Proves What? Blog #46

It’s interesting to note that one of the greatest atheists (non-believer in Jesus Christ)

was C. S Lewis. Here was a world renown author, who wrote the famous books,

“Chronicles of Narnia”. He wrote countless other famous books as well. Did you know

C. S. Lewis is one of the most famous Christian writers of all time? How did this Atheist

become a Christian? Did his pain have anything to do with his beliefs? When this

famous writer was only nine years old, his mother died. Then C. S. Lewis entered WW11 at

the ripe old age of nineteen. He saw death first hand and was almost mortally

wounded. He left the war after only six months. This famous atheist questioned “how

could a good God allow so many good people to die?” Suffering and pain are all part of

the process of Life.

Every single person goes full circle.

I believe that this famous author lived in an analytical world. He pondered life and

looked at life from an intellectual schism. However, he sought happiness in the outside

world in another human being. He married for what was only a short time of three years

and watched his wife die of cancer. I am assuming this man’s pain humbled the man.

For it is only in pain and suffering that we are chiseled and molded into something

much better. This is “where God takes a breath and works seriously with us”. I believe

Jesus Christ in all his humanity, took on the suffering and pain of others. He came into

the world perfect. He taught simple perfect laws. He showed by perfect example how

to live. He stepped out of his humaness to perform miracles, one after another. The

ironic twist to all of this is HE could have come down off of the cross, but HE chose not to!

In his human pain, rather saying, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do”.

But none of this was enough for mankind!

For this mans entire being was a threat to all those around him. Why? Because no one

person could walk in HIS footsteps. Therefore C. S. Lewis realized that all intellectual

answers as to “why” we have pain and suffering is because we learn about Christs light

through pain, patience & fortitude. This digs in deep through our complacency. Pain

exists as a “great teacher” to us intimately.

Human pain is the “attention getter” and brings us to our knees. Pain helps us to

reorganize our thoughts, reset our priorities and readdress where our true grievances lie.

It’s interesting to note here, that years back when 9/11/2001 occurred and many

thousands of lives were lost - amidst all the mass of metal and debris from the Twin

Towers crashing down to the ground, right in the middle of all that debris was a

perfectly, untouched cross from the church across the street. Symbolic in all its

simplicity in such a secular world. What is the message that was being sent here?

Now we look back to how this famous writer discovered his own Christianity. We are

told he wrestled for years in his atheist state and then suddenly realizing one must go

down, way down, before a person can begin the arduous journey up. Up into the light

of Christ and this is where C. S. Lewis discovered Christ in a beautiful English garden.

In “Wallaby Woods, this beautiful English garden captivated this analytical atheists’

being. Christianity completely turned him inside out.

Of course, I cannot begin to summarize how this famous Christian writer, who wrote

countless books on his own personal journey, went from being an atheist to a Christian.

It is not possible to summarize this amazing fact in just a few sentences. One would

have to delve deeper, read one or many of his famous books. But this fact remains,

C. S.Lewis is a reputable source for conversion. What a fascinating, astute, scholar.

His garden experience makes me wonder what do I actually SEE each day?

When I wake up and walk out into the secular world around me, what am I open to?

Yes, I am alive, but what stands in my way of constantly pushing me up the path,

up onto the higher road? In my own lifetime I have suffered profound pain. I have

questioned and doubted and suffered to the very core of my being, I have cried out; “IF

you are here, WHERE are you Jesus?”…. “WHY was I put here?”

“Why did I have half my family wiped out, taken from me in horrific ways?” I kept myself

in darkness for a very long time. This was my own personal pain. Now, as I look back at

the young person I started out energetically as, I see a stranger. Here was a young

woman, foolish and fear-based. Fear was always at bay, I look back and see a person

that was hiding out from her “higher self”, totally clueless. I had little or no interest in

finding a place in the Christian community. I had no interest in learning about the man

Jesus. I actually only looked at any type of faith as perhaps a feeble “911 call”. “Maybe”, I

rationalized, “I might cry out in an emergency. I might call out in the depths of my

despair, in dire need. But only IF it ever really got that bad…”

I think people have no idea what they really need for their pain. People, like my

daughter Bridget, use drugs, alcohol and pills to camouflage their pain. Most people

don’t know when it gets to a point of no return.

Then one day, when I least expected it, it got that bad. My pain finally brought me to my

knees and did just that. I am humbled to say I was lost but now feel very much alive.

I am a true believer in Jesus the man, and Jesus Christ my Lord, my Savior.

Miracles have definitely happened to me. No question about believing in HIM.

There is such a peace-filled comfort in knowing a real person that took on his humanity,

in all his perfection, cared that much about me. I feel safe now.

Do you want to believe in Jesus Christ?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Up, Over Anger” Blog #45

““I’ll be home for Christmas, you can count on me. Please have snow and mistletoe and

presents under the tree. Christmas Eve will find me where the love light beams, I’ll be

home for Christmas - if only in my dreams…….”

One of the oldest songs to celebrate the holiday season says it all. Nothing is worse

than seeing people who once loved each other, say hateful painful things to each other.

People who know each other well, (familiy members) can hurt each other in cruel,

intimate ways that only they know and keep score about. In your family, you know who

is vulnerable and how to take advantage of the situation. So when you think they

deserve it, think again. It may last a lifetime.

Be vulnerable, be open to change, willing to look at shame, sadness and regret

internally. If not, the other choice wins out! Stay in a prison that is built internally with

walls of resentment. Yet somewhere deep inside us lies inner wisdom, intuition and

imagination wait to do things differently.

I was looking at a few Christmas cards I started getting and am sad to see two cards

from a divided family. Last year one card came, from the same people. They have a

beautiful family and yet, are now divorced. Today there are more divorced families then

there are married families. More hate is replacing love that cemented judgement. All

the while the children are watching and hurting and waiting….Does anybody care?

Today in the secular world we have to ask ourselves, “what really counts?” Where is the

light that shines bright in each heart today as we get ready for HIS birth at Christmas.

Can you replace dark thoughts with light?

Can you replace fear with Faith?

Can you replace anger with acceptance?

Our children, family, health? The universe will always get our attention. If suddenly we

are given notice that something very serious affects our health. Does it not take center

stage? Of course it does. This puts all in perspective.

Yet, day in and day out we wrestle with our rage. We debate internally what this person

or that person did to us. We take this to heart and we keep it locked safely away. Our

ANGER AND all the JUDGEMENT.sitting deep within us. An old saying goes like this;

“We are not punished for our anger, but certainly our anger will punish us.”

WHAT IF All our anger is uinderstood now to be “our own lesson to learn from?”

Look at the person you have issues with, ask for help from HIM to see them differently.

Ask to see others thru HIS eyes. Even if you are not a faith-filled person, this will work!

Suddenly all anger, resentment and judgement is replaced with acceptance. A quiet

peace takes over you just where you are.

I started my Blog in the Memory of my daughter Bridget because I first came to the

realization and, understanding that above all, I could not fix things for her. One cannot

control another person.

I see now that I am alive because I can only love, learn and forgive myself. When

children are born, it’s time to give up selfish desires. Life becomes healthier when one

acceps this. The sad piece to this is: IF we donot have spiritual ammunition and spiritual

weapons to fight the darkness that comes creeping around, and the tragedy may befall

us, then darkness starts to control our life.

Drip by drip. Until it takes over and we forget…… we give up control and we give in to SELF.

We give in to anger and our life dives into a downward spiral. That is until we can’t rake

it anymore…….. and “our true self says a little prayer for help. The way is so simple. Yet, It

took me a full circle through all my anger to accept HIM.

If you just read this and choose to answer with the words “but,… except,… or if only…”

NOW search Your heart for truth. Maybe someone needs to hear the following words…

Simply say “I love you, Lets agree to disagree”. That statement may build a bridge that

goes over the wide river of discontent.

I was so angry at my father for all the terrible things he did to himself with his drinking. All

the abuse to my mother and family. Then after college I moved away out of state. I

was determined never to come home again. Then I heard from a family member my

father was dying of cancer. As much as I wanted to go home, my anger kept me away!

I was so bitter and angry. Then I did not come home until it was his funeral. Too late to

say our goodbyes. That was over forty years ago. To this day, I wished I would have

handled it differently. Yet, death is clearly permanent. It is truly a great teacher in so

very many ways.

Death is overwhelming that way. It waits for no one.

The KEY to all of this is self Love. IF I can love myself. Then I can learn to forgive myself.

Big giant key is SELF. We have to start with ourself. Forgive ourself for how we look at

ourselves and how we are judging others and what we did in the past. This resolves

much anger.

Everyone is on their own path.

If I were given the chance before I came to earth, to actually SEE my life and where it

was to go - I am sad to say, I would be petrified, afraid to do it definitely, not willing to

take the risk. Yet, here I am. My whole biological family was devided by horror and

death. My daughter, now dead and no more. The very idea that I could fix things

differently is pretty futile. However I am now resolved to this fact:

”KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.”

THE more you learn about your own self and spirituality is powerful. Who am I today?

I would not trade “ME” for the young woman I started out as. “I finally feel alive.”

We are on a road to a place of peace. No anger, hate or judgement, they do not exist.

“There but for the grace of God go I”……..

Can you let go of your anger today?

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“A Memory……” Blog #44

PLEASE LISTEN TO THE SONG ABOVE FIRST - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

(Memorial in lieu of the funeral I was never allowed to have for my daughter.)

Today I take time to remember my daughter Bridgets birthday. This Sunday December

4th, she will have been gone one year -5 months and 14 days. Most of you never knew

her. Many of you wonder what can be gleamed from this? Others may feel it too

depressing to read. However, I vowed to myself in her honor, all Blogs will be positive,

insightful and above all, uplifting in sharing my coping skills.

Todays Blog is My gift to Bridget’s Spirit. For above all, I believe her soul lives on.

Quiet has replaced her energy.

Faith has replaced my fear.

Acceptance replacing my anger.

I look back now, only at her goodness. “Blessed and beautiful” her Priest had told us as

she was Baptized in her Catholic Faith and went on to take her First Communion. Bridget

did well in school, graduated and went on to Indiana University where she made her two

best friends. Laughter and healthy living saw them through four years of college. There

were plans together and beyond as college came to a close, Bridget did a Semester

abroad in Seville Spain, where she went on to Paris, France meeting her Mom and family

with best friend and Julie’s parents. We all traveled Europe together. The girls had great

plans for their lives ahead.. Her brother and friend wanted her to move to NYC and go to

Graduate School.

Bridget was torn, thus she moved to Chicago instead.

Graduating with a Masters Degree in Early Childhood Education, Bridget finished all her

years at DePaul University. She stayed on in Chicago with favorite cat and dog for a few

more years. Bridget was choosing day in and day out on her own.

We do not know “the why” in choices she made. When Bridget came back to her home

state, she worked as a teacher at Blake Private School. She was a great teacher and

taught third grade. She had her own apt overlooking a lake.

Then she met someone and decided to marry.

We designed a beautiful diamond ring from her Grandma for her engagement. We

gave her a keepsake wedding in a tiny, rustic church over looking a big lake. On a sunny

day in August, with relatives and 150 friends to help celebrate, Bridget had high hopes

and dreams she’d married someone who loved her. After a few years we saw that this

beautiful Mother had bore two healthy, adoring sons, just a couple years apart. In the

eight years Bridget was married she went on to accomplish alot. In this short time

frame she created a prosperous Moving Business from scratch. Because of her

marketing skills and savy business sense this allowed them to build a beautiful home for

their children, family, dog and cat.

Bridget was strong and bright with a very funny nature. I find joy in remembering her

beautiful essence. Internally, I focus on her contagious laughter, uplifting words and her

kind heart. For Bridget was determined to instill in her sons faith in Jesus Christ our Lord.

She made a commitment to Baptize both her boys after they were born. “Regardless of

what happens, Mom “ she had once said - they are protected now”

Whatever else she did, nightly she said prayers with her boys, talking about the man

Jesus. There was such beauty in watching her gardening. Many years giving me

pottings and plantings for Mothers Day. Her love of nature only added to her goodness

Practically speaking, Bridget was a phenomenal cook .Singing and humming all the

while preparing a favorite spaghetti dish in our Southern kitchen where we moved.

Once Bridget sent me an App of her favorite Guru, telling me “meditation brings me

peace Mom”. This beautiful woman was the personification of style . Her ingenious

creativity showed “why” she loved scrapbooking and poetry, putting together all her

memories in homemade picture books. Her favorite poem I share at the end.

Until the last few years, Bridget was able to maintain a beautiful presence and a model

manner of dress. Daily she put herself together in a flash and seemed to appear right

out of Vogue Magazine. Determined to make things work, she created her own sense of

style. Lively, lovely and so kind. she was always ready to help the underdog.

Determined and ready to “Fix things”. Trying harder with no thought of self.

Rationalizing ways to make things better. Let it be known her boys and her animals

adored everything about her.

When Bridget married for love, believed in love, she hoped for love in her marriage.

I say nothing more about that for I choose to share only good memories.

There were always two roads for Bridget to take before her life stopped…..

“It made all the difference”.

My precious Bridget Laura Elizabeth is in the Lords domain now. Here Jesus Christ holds

and heals and fills her soul forevermore with light. Arch Angel Michael, Arch Angel

Gabriel and Arch Angel Rafael clearly watch over her Spirit by day and night. I speak

with complete confidence in the knowing as I pray daily for Bridgets soul.

In light of the Eulogy I was never permitted to have, I leave it at that and dedicate this

poem and songs to her memory. This was her favorite poem.

“The Road Not Taken”

by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood, and looked down one as far as I could,

To where it bent in the undergrowth. Then took the other one just as fair,

and having perhaps the better claim, because it was grassy and wanted wear,

though as for that the passing there had worn them both really the same.

And both that morning equally lay, in leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh… I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how one way leads on to way,

I doubted now IF I would ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence,

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -

I took the one less traveled by,

and that has made all the difference…..”

NOW LISTEN TO SONGS BELOW - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Bridget … you will be forever missed”.

I Love you, Mom.

“Alone & Alive” Blog #43

We’ve all felt lonely. We’e had horrible feelings of loss. Each one of us has been

afraid. Even the Queen of England in all her glory, showed her humanity and fragility

with sadness in her heart. She spoke on November 24, 1992 “I have not looked back on

this year with undiluted pleasure. This year has turned out to be an “Annis Horribilus”

(horrible year).” Windsor Castle went up in flames, and three out of her four children got

divorced. She said, "I am not alone in thinking so, about this year. Wisdom is lacking in

those who have instant opinions on all things great and small, without knowing truth.

So I tell you, we cannot pray too often. It is possible we have too much of a good thing

and not know it. Yet, he who has never failed only has the right to be the fiercest critic.”

So you can see, we all have been through tragedy, even the Queen of England herself,

hasbeen to a scary, lonely place. When we get to that scary, lonely place, how do we

cope?

When the cards have folded all around us, that’s when we want to hide from truth.

I decided I needed help after the recent death of my daughter Bridget. There was an

open wound in my heart not healing. Everything I did to keep busy just was not

working. I could not sleep at night and it was getting worse. I prayed for help and very

quickly I learned about a wonderful, counselor that had an opening. After a year of his

inspiring wisdom, this gentle elderly man truly has helped me figure more things out.

FDaily prayers of thankfulness, and I say seldom trouble sleeping for the most part. His

wisdom I pass on and now share with you here.

When I first met with this wise man, he asked me the strangest question, “What do you

think Hell would be like if you were not alive?” I sat frozen in silence. What did this have

to do with why I was here? He sat there smiling and in a very quiet, firm voice said,

“No one is alone. No one is alone, except by choice, things keep happening the same

until a different choice is made.

There is light and dark.

There is good and bad.

There is Heaven and Hell.

A person in Hell may suddenly be shown their life through the eyes of each person they

have hurt. This is true Hell.

Then he took a deep breath and said, “Best you move on to

Being Alive. So many out there feel dead and not alive.”

What did he mean by this statement.?

Loneliness and isolation are everywhere. Life is difficult, but try we must. Trying each

day is what it’s all about.

NEVEFR QUIT TRYING..

Did you know that Grandma Moses did not even start painting until well into her 90’s?

That’s a positive statement. Yet on a negative note, going forward lets say you try to

help someone. You make a delicious dinner, you put on some soothing music, and you

build a big roaring fire for them to come sit, in out of the cold. Yet your sad friend walks

in the door, looks around and turns their back on your help, choosing to go back out

into the dark of night all alone. They refuse your help no matter what you do. Understand?

I knew exactly what he was alluding to - trying to help my daughter; Bridget.

let them go - they go by choice. Nothing you can do to stop them.

WORK ON YOURSELF NOW. WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT.

He sighed and with kind eyes looked over at me. “Angels are all

around us, now we just have to be ready to feel them.

You must accept that for you everything is going to be just fine, rememberer the

good always, let go of the bad times”. I was crying with tears of hope. When I left

that day, I left with a sense of peace and more knowing, in my heart.

And tonight I say, If you are reading my Blog, whatever you are going through,

We all have been through something. We all have been saddled with loneliness.

take comfort in knowing we all are in the same “boat of LIfe” together. We all get up

every morning, put on our clothes, and go out into the new day.

We will experience the lessons of this day.

Each of us may have sadness or joy. But now we have tools to deal with life. Only a

FOOL chooses to take on life’s problems alone. For without the light of Christ to show us

the way, we cannot feel alive. I remember the last parting words with my counselor.

He was smiling as I stood their with more tears running down my cheeks.

“Perhaps all the people who have come and gone in your life today, were there to

help you understand how to become a better person.

We all hurt sometimes. We all have loss, and .we all have love. Look to love Yourself.

You know how to do this because you have the “Internal tools of Jesus Christ light”

We lose people along the way, but each of us are here for a specific purpose, choose

good until it’s time for you to go. Go out, find your way, and give back with all the tools

you’ve been given. Smile at the memories of those close to your heart, who helped in

your becoming stronger. Now go in the knowing you are never alone, Jesus Christ and

your Guardian Angel are with you always. Learn to Love Yourself.

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Believe or Blame? Blog #42

Taking a deep breath, I think to myself; “Who do I still blame”? It is easy to think of all

the people I could simply blame for what I feel they have done to me, where I am at in

life and why I have pushed others away. Some people call this the “Blame Game”.

Others refuse to look at truth. Others have been legitimately hurt, yet can we forgive?

What causes a person to suddenly back away from someone? Many people can go

through years and hang on to a grudge. Other times we can reflect back and say to

ourselves: “no matter what I do or say, that person has always treated me badly”.

Other people may say to you, “don’t let someone walk all over You!” Easier said than

done, right? There is not one person out there that does not have some kind of

relationship problem in their own family. We all have a family that we come from.

Many years back, we decided what role to play in the family; are we passive or

aggressive, and it sticks.

As Holidays grow closer, friends and relatives decide the same thing. Grow closer or

stay away. Drama or discipline? Why do the Holidays have to be so dramatic? Why

do so many negative events wind up happening around the holidays? Why do

families stay deliberately away from each other? Better still, why is it so important to

be together JUST for the Holidays?

An ironic twist to all of this is this. On Christmas or any special holiday we most

certainly want to include those we love. However does thot mean you want to see

those people!

Days go by, lives get lived and priorities are made. Many hurts are not dealt with.

Personal hurts lie seething internally with sadness. Little by little in this secular world

we live in, families see less and less of each other. Families are less likely to be in

harmony as well. Because of the internet and cell phones it is easy to have these

as our mediator. We can “check in, leave a message, day is done”. Days, weeks,

months and now years go by. Why bother? Families are broken not just from divorce,

but internally as well. The secular world is winning out. The younger generation find

no need for Christian rituals like going to church or baptizing the children. People are

too busy with their own lives. Divorce, not marriage, takes center stage now. Drinking,

drugs, drama……. material gain, more money spent on what? Children are the

bystanders watching in the wings. Grudges are formed. Decisions are made. The dye

is cast.

Where am I going with this? Truth cannot be diluted. If you are a Christian, Christmas

is the holiday to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, period. This is not about a pretend

Santa Claus and eight tiny reindeer with a Christmas tree decorated for what?

This is the birthday of a real person. This person lived and died ovef two thousand

years ago. If you don’t believe this, the holiday should not be celebrated. Our children

should be taught this. To be able to embrace the belief in Jesus Christ brings

opportunity of a powerful light-filled thought. This belief allows children to have “faith”

instead of fear. If children are not raised this way, what happens, whose to blame?

We need to believe, all our prayers, young and old, have a place prayers go to. This is

belief. This is faith.

The person who was alive long aga, could have blamed everyone for what was done

to him, but HE did not. Instead, in HIS short thirty three years of living, HE gave concrete

examples for how we should live day after day after day. Is this being passed down?

What examples go to children? There is no truth greater than this. When truth is

embraced, blame has a funny way of disappearing. We have “only ourselves to

blame for our own daily actions”. If today, we have love in our heart, we have nothing

to regret. If today we blame others, we need to go back look at the lesson to be

learned here, ask HIM to help sort it out internally. We are stuck when we refuse to see

past anger that has not gone away, time to ask for HIS help before this year is gone.

A clean slate brings in forgiveness to anyone and everyone that has hurt us.

REMEMBER, we all have the tools to deal with life as we go through life, some people

refusing these tools. We must forgive them ANYWAY! Time to move on. There are no

exceptions.

The following poem is written by an unknown source but says it all….

“THE COLD WITHIN”

Six humans were trapped by happenstance, in bleak and bitter cold.

Each one possessed a stick of wood, or so the story is told.

Their dying fire in need of logs, the first man held his back.

For of the faces around the fire, he noticed one was black.

The next man looking across the way, saw one was not of his church.

He couldn’t bring himself to give the fire his stick of birch.

The third one sat in tattered clothes, his coat needed a stitch.

Why should his log be put to use to warm the idle rich?

The rich man just sat back and thought of the wealth he had in store,

and how to keep what he had earned from the lazy, shiftless poor.

The black mans face showed revenge, as the fire passed from sight.

For all he saw in his stick of wood was a chance to spite the white.

The last man in this forlorn group, did nothing except for gain.

Giving only to those who gave to him, was how he played the game.

Their logs held tight in death’s still hand was proof of human sin,

They did not die from the Cold without, they died from the cold within.

How many hardened hearts are out there tonight, put to shame?

Can we let go and believe in HIM or continue on In blame?

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“Never Give In” Blog #41

At the end of this day, as day gives way to night, we all have one thing in common.

No matter where we are, we can stop for a moment and go out into the darkness and

look up at the moon. The big, beautiful peacefilled moon. He’s waiting there for us.

One of the last things my daughter Bridget did was text me an uplifting message.

She had been driving in her car a couple weeks before she died.

”Mom, you have to go outside and look at the gorgeous full moon right now!”

This was a positive statement. I will stay with that and believe in Bridgets heart,

somewhere for a moment in time, she saw goodness. Yet in sadness I must recall,

the addictive darkness that she gave into won out.

I want to talk today about not giving in. We can’t ever give up or give in! My husband

and I watched a totally inspiring World War Two movie a few nights back. A powerful

movie showing the strong hold that Hitler had taken all over the world. He was gaining

speed, pushing his dangerous, dark beliefs, and bombing Britain. Yet, Winston Churchill,

on October 29, 1941 said this, “We will never give up, we will never surrender…never, ever

ever”! Remember this is one person making a decision for the whole country! What did

it take to inspire him to talk this way? Courage! Discipline! Self Worth!

George Washington, Abraham Lincoln., Mother Theresa, all of these people have made

such a difference in our world because “they knew who they were”.

My own self worth has come from these basic principles. Every day I do what is

expected of me. I try to do the things I like least, first. Inside me are spiritual tools I have

found to give me strength. I need each day.

I believe My Body is the Temple of God, so I live my life according to this belief. One of

our most famous football coaches down through history, was Vince Lombardi. He said

“Today is a New Day in your life, take nothing for granted and failure. is not an option”.

He and his team beat the New York Giants 37 - 0 and went on to win two Super Bowls

after that! WHAT DID HE BELIEVE IN?

HE SAID “LOOK AT THE BASICS IN YOUR LIFE, WHAT IS EXPECTED OF YOU?”

“SHOW UP. BE PRESENT. SAY YOU LOVE YOURSELF”. WATCH WHAT HAPPENS”.

I practice these basic daily disciplines to find my strength and this gives me courage

to deal with today. Thats all we have. These are my weapons for the harsh reality of life.

The quickest way to tap into YOU is just ask. I ask patiently in prayer, until I feel the

sensation of prevailing peace. Throughout my day I remind myself to say, “NOT my will,

but Thy will be done in my life today”. “Show me God, how strong I am, I thank you for

this”.

Marianne Williamson is a famous Author of many books. In one of them she quotes:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate! Our deepest fear is that we are

powerful beyond measure. It is our light and NOT our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves; Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually,

who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the

world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel

insecure around you. We are all meant to shine. We are born to make manifest the

Glory of God that is in all of us. It’s not just in some of us. It’s in everyone. AND as we let

our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As

we are liberated from fear, our presence automatically liberates others. What an

amazing piece of information. I hope you go back and read this again. This is a clear

path to your healthy future.

As this year winds to a close, what priorities sit upper most in our mind today? It’s

important to understand “How I look at my past situations as learned lessons and then

I let go. This gives us a. clean slate for a New Day. Unhealthy emotion arises in all of us

when we stay stuck in regret, uncomfortable judgment and/or seething in anger. By

paying attention to how I feel about things that have happened, I then can tap into my

“authentic self”. It was time for me to stop blaming others. At the end of the day,

“Others are only mirrors of ourselves”. This is the gift Jesus gives to you and I.

“He’s never gonna give you up, He’s never gonna let you go, never gonna tell you lies.

and hurt you. Most of all, he’s never gonna say good bye.

So sit tight — feel HIS safety net surround you, listen to these simple phrases tell it all.

Watch HIS powerful peace of plenty take over your pain. Whatever it is, wherever you

are, however you feel - HE waits for you. It’s almost the middle of November now. This is

a sacred time of year. Angels are around us, they walk among us and hear us. Ask for

help now. Feel their amazing, angelic, love energy support you. Trust this to be true.

Its easy to believe you are an amazing, important, blessed Soul filled with HIS love.

Can you feel the energy of your Guardian Angel surrounding you today?

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''Trouble Teacher” Blog # 40

Most of us have heard the old saying, life is not for sissies”. This lets us know, it is tough

out there! But no matter what, never quit……don’t give up! From the time we are young,

on through our years, we are expected to grow in a healthy manner. We can look at our life now and say, ‘If it weren’t for that person or this person I would probably have done

things differently, or I sure wouldn’t be in this mess if I didn’t meet them”. We are all in

situatuions because of deliberate choices we have made. A current situation can be

troublesome or peaceful.

What goes around, comes around. We have a choice to heal ourselves daily. Our

thoughts start out the day. We know internally, what is expected of us. IF we choose

denial - well, that brings in a “troublesome teacher”. What we choose to do every day

can turn good or troublesome. A big question: daily, who is allowed to be part of our

“inner circle of sacred trust”? Our

daily decisions DO change the course of our living.

Going back to my teen years I can say immediately that I was impulsive with choices.

Teens do not think about their dangerous choices and how it will affect their future.

Their brain development is not at the point of making those choices. What friendships

made me feel safe? Our friends have great. influence, both good and bad.

Then there are relationships with the oppositie sex.

Teen years find it harder for girls to stay clear of a bad reputation if they decide to

experiment in areas the compromise their integrity. This invites big trouble for so many

girls struggling out there. Patterns develop and a choice is made. Yet, they can choose

to change with good guidance around them because this is critical. Too many young

boys are spending “days” sitting at their computer gaming, watching videos - YouTube

and TikTok, and staring at what kind of garbage out there? At schools there is big

trouble with “Peer Pressure”. Peer Pressure brings on many dangerous choices. Teens

start smoking, drinking, vaping, and doing drugs. They start experimenting with Illicit sex

and internet porn. Why, because there is no one out there to stop them, period! Many

parents find the internet to be a great babysitter and later rationalize these statements

away by not enforcing ruies at home. Eventually the trouble teacher comes and stands

beside the giant white elephant in the room. Perhaps now something dangerous has

happened. These are just some of the big “trouble teachers” that compromise our

youth today. Yet, any kind of abuse to our body brings in trouble. Why is this so?

Patterns are set. Habits are formed. Mindsets are put in place.

Days and months give way to years. Little by little, darkness replaces the light.

Once again I do not include those that must take medication for health issues.

I am speaking solely about recreational use of drugs and alcohol.

My daughter Bridget brought so much trouble into her own life because of dishonesty. She was not honest with herself and it came full circle in her own health. She took Adderol daily, and lots of it. After this kind of abuse to her body, she experienced a stroke and a seizure just one month before she died. Even after these horrific warnings,

the last month of her life saw her drinking Vodka and taking more pills on a daily basis!

She could not stop herself because darkness had taken over. Now, habits and mindsets

and patterns were formed, set in concrete. Unfortunately, I found out about this when it

was too late.

She just could not stop herself…….

All of the above are “trouble teachers” and lifestyle choices she made. Consequences

carried over to little boys left behind with no Mother. Unfortunately, this takes place all

over the world on a daily basis. Today for the first time in history we have a smorgasboard of information available to us on the Internet. At our fingertips in a second, we can search up both good and bad trouble. As adults we are expected to make good, healthy choices for ourselves. As parents it is our moral obligation to guide our children to adulthood. However, are we aware of the choices our young people are making on the internet? There are apps out there to help parents. There is an app called “Covenant Eyes” for less than $200 a year that can monitor what your child watches.

At any age a young person can look up, read and watch videos of the darkest nature.

Millions of porn sites sit, waiting for our youth. These are horrific trouble teachers. It is up

to each one of us to “surf the net” and ask “What are you watching on the internet?

Right now two of the biggest businesses in the world are the Pharmaceutical business

and the Pornography business. What does that tell us about drugs and Porn?

I heard a story a while back, have not checked to validate it but it goes like this,

”somewhere in the world today, there are so many people addicted to the internet

games that as adults, they wear diapers, so they do NOT have to get up from their

screen and miss something”. This is CRAZY troublesome!

WHERE ARE WE GOING?

We all come walking down life’s path with “trouble teachers” popping out along the way.

We need to discipline our minds to stay clear of these trouble teachers. We need to

pray daily for help.

In school consequences are easier to grasp, if you do not study and skip your lessons required,

the trouble comes jin bad grades. Do you know what choices are you making on the

internet? How much time is spent researching what? How addicted have we become

to our phones? There is trouble around each and every one of our decisions when it

involves excess. Too much time spent on the phone makes time disappear from

physical interaction with each other. How many of us are out walking each and every

day? Valuable time interacting with each other is lost each day, staring at the phone.

We can change that. All of us are way better than we think.

It’s November now! Its a Holy time of the year. Miracles are happening all around us.

We have just experienced All Saints Day and All Souls Day, the first two days of

November. From now until the end of the year, our earth is filled with extra angelic help.

It’s a beautiful time of year and we have only but to ask HIM for any help we need.

Angels are all around us, if you sit quietly you can feel their energy and their loving

presence. Take advantage of this time now, reach out in a quiet moment, sit still and

suddenly feel this astounding sense of peace.

“Can you learn from a “trouble teacher” today?

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“Health & hurting” Blog #39

A long time ago I wrote a song when I was a lonely teenager and it goes like this…

”There’s a reason why I’m sittin’ all alone, there’s a reason that nobody’s tried to phone,

there’s a reason why its Friday night and there’s still no one is sight, while I sit here trying

to hide my tears.”

Why did I write this? I was sixteen, sad and lonely. I wasn’t on any drugs, just sad and

lonely. Why I happened to remember that song now is because I just heard a statistic

on the air that was very frightening. It was about the explosion of teens on drugs. Down

through the ages there exists one truth. Young or old, a person can be depressed and

lonely. When you are young, loneliness is magnified greatly. I was depressed a lot as a

teenager and was hurting with of all things, constant toothaches! My parents never

took me to a dentist. I still recall wondering why I had to suffer with such toothaches.

Why were my parents so indifferent to my physical pain. Because they were immeshed

in a world of darkness. When it comes to health and hurting, these issues cross the

barriors of age and time.

So many of us believe, “if I can just meet the right person, I will be happy”. Still others

believe, “If I can just get out of this relationship, then I will be happy”. One fact is

painfully clear, we come in alone and we go out alone. It’s the “in-between time”, the

part where we really experience living that can get messy. However throughout life,

lessons come pouring down upon us.

As a teenager my family life was extremely dysfunctional. I mentioned before, how

I had a very abusive, alcoholic father and a mother that worked all the time and

enabled my father. She was the perfect definition of a “caretaker”. In my family there

were fights and anger and constant lies. Furniture was daily broken and formidible fear

permeated the family. My mindset was this, “If I can just get out of here, I can stop

hurting and be happy. If I can just meet the right guy and do my own thing, I can leave

all this behind me. He will make me happy.” I didn’t know this, “you can never meet the

right guy when you have the wrong mindset”.

With a painful past not dealt with, we make dark, dysfunctional, dramatic choices.

Many counselors have shared with me over the years, this important statement,

“You will always meet a mate or a partner at your level, the level you are at”. If you want

to stop hurting then seek good health, then a higher and a different perspective will

develop. No one ever told me these very wise words.

There is a confusing piece to all of this for children from alcoholic or drug infested

families. The child tries to look up to their parents for as long as they can. This means

“no matter what”, until the hurting has caused unhealthy calamity.

It is hard to admit a parent may have failed us when we were young. So we justify and

rationalize and reason all hurt away. As a pre-teen, I was able to escape and move

over to my grandfathers house. I went to high school and finally had something I had

not had in all the years of my life.

Peace and quiet.

I thought I had escaped, but no one can escape their thoughts and memories. I took all

the “bad internal videos” with me. The only way I knew now to stop my “hurting” was to

find a guy. I thought normal guys were boring. I was drawn to bad, distant behavior

and people with big problems. I identified with these kind of guys. The kids that did well

in school and sports and clubs, I was uncomfortable with them. My teen age years

from ninth to twelfth grade found me sad an awful lot.

Why is this? Partly being a teenager and more so not having a role model. I wrote sad

poems and sad songs and found I was depressed a lot.. This was who I was. My own

parents were too busy feeding off of each others dark daily drama. The only tools they

shared with me while I was a teenager was to say, “don’t you ever drink or smoke”, while

they did this daily. Seldom no money for bread and milk but always the case of beer,

whiskey and cigarettes. Sad scenario of misplaced priorities still abounding in

households today.

My parents never took me to the dentist. I remember being embarrassed at school

because I had two cavities right between my two front teeth! A piece of cotton was

wedged there for months on end, until finally my aunts had seen enough and moved

me over to my grandpas house and my aunt took me to the dentist. Priorities of

cigarettes, alcohol and drugs first, before anything else. I needed a good counselor

early on. A counselor to help show me how to make better choices. My grandfather

was too old, my aunts were too wrapped up and involved in their restaurant business.

These tidbits of my growing up years have proven this to me, each and every one of us

are a culmination of our experiences from our families. We are filled with the

repercussions of choices made in anxious moments. Whatever we have lived through

growing up, adults in our lives have much to do with “How we look at life”. It forces our

youth to giveway to adulthood, good or bad.

Throughout my own life I became a “caretaker”, not a caregiver.

In the back of my mind, I was comfortable wanting and thriving on “fixing people”.

Especially people that were hurting badly. Many years of counseling and therapy

brought me to safely make this statement, “being a caretaker brings on more hurt and

bad health”. It is so much better to choose to be a CAREGIVER.

I did a lot of caretaking for Bridget. Even all through college and when she moved away

to Chicago to go to grad school, she was drinking a lot in college. After this, she met

someone and was making bad choices. In a nutshell, she was now with a loser. She

had left good friends and people that supported her all through college. Suddenly she

chose a darker path with a guy that was not only involved in drugs but was also

abusing her. I could only pray she would see the light because I could not help her.

She struggled daily with self esteem and continued to make dark choices for herself.

Four years of staying with someone that tore her down daily. Finally after he broke

her nose, she called me to come and get her and bring her home.

Relationships evolve, they are either healthy or hurtful. Good physical and good mental

health is what each of us need daily. Why do we pick the people in our life, that we do?

It depends WHERE WE ARE MENTALLY. If our family has hurt us, when do we reach out for

help? Is it in drugs & alcohol? Dark issues that have not been dealt with don’t just

disappear!

One of the reasons my faith is strong in my Lord is because I can give all of my hurt to

HIM. Every day HE shows me how to stay away from dark choices and dark thoughts of

wanting to hurt myself in any way. I know this is possible I sit quietly and take a deep

breath and In doing this, my health is better one day at a time. For, “this too, shall pass”

“Tomorrow its a brand new day”

When I was young I learned a poem that has stayed with me and been my motto down

through the years:

“The Man in the Glass”

By: Peter Dale Winsbrow, Sr.

When you get what you want ih your struggle for self, and the world makes you

King for a day, then go to the mirror and look at yourself and see what that guy

has to say. For it isn’t your Father, or Mother, or wife who judgement upon you

must pass, but the person whose verdict counts most in your life is the one

staring back from the glass. He’s the fellow to please, never mind all the rest,

for he’s with you clear to the end, and you’ve passed the most dangerous,

difficult test if the “Man in the Glass' is your friend. You can fool the whole

world down your pathway of years and get pats on your back as you pass,

but your final reward will be heartache and tears if you’ve cheated that

‘Man in the Glass”.

THE LIAR HATES THIS POEM. A person who lies to himself cannot live with this poem

because it means we must be honest internally with ourselves. Each of us can have

complete clarity in the understanding of good versus evil choices, if we but pray and

ask for help daily. I was told, and I believe, that “Our bodies are the Temple of God”. In

knowing this and believing this, our mind tells us to want to Eat healthy food and think

healthy thoughts. Then, sit back and watch your good habits grow! Anyone can start

now.

IF you are hurting today, ask for HIS help, he will hear. I promise you. I found Jesus.

I believe that now I am in the world and not of the world.

“Can you ask our Lord to help you find better health and less hurt today?

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“Avoid Dis-ease” Blog #38

When we are very small, the house we live in, looks very big.

When we get older into our early 20s, our parents suddenly seem very old. It is only

when a person becomes sick, and then is ready to die, one may ask, “could one have

avoided dis-ease?”

I remember being twenty three years old and out of college. I was living in Arizona

and working for a radio and television station. It was almost Christmas and I asked

for some time off to go home and visit my family. My father had become seriously

ill with cancer, so I was anxious to see him. I remember the day I flew in and walked

in the back door quietly. For some reason, I knew I needed to be quiet.

It was a small house but with lots of history. My mother had a gift for decorating on

a shoe string budget of Salvation Army knick knacks and relative hand me downs.

She was at work still and I saw a fire burning in our fireplace. My father was stretched

out on the sofa with his hands crossed over his chest and sound asleep. He lay there in

his dress pants and collored shirt. I studied him quietly and took a closer look from

when I had seen him last. He was still extremely handsome. Though his dark black hair

was thinning, his thick eye brows outlined his rectangular face. He still had the look of

an Errol Flynn movie star who had painfully aged, and now so had he. There was

something very sad that immediately jumped out at me. His wedding band on his left

hand was taped over and over. He had used white adhesive medical tape, now the

band looked small with the big mound of tape holding it on his slim, long finger.

I just sat there across from him in front of the fire. I was thinking how safe I felt when he

was sleeping, after all these years, I still felt this way. There was such a complex

chemistry between us that I really needed this quiet solitude briefly, before he would

awake. I knew once he woke, he would spin his web of charm and it did not matter

whether truth or fiction, I would be sucked into his tarnished ruin of reality once again.

Then, just nine months later, I was called home once again. This time the disease

that had riddled his body took over and controlled to the end. My father died at the ripe

old age of fifty-two years old. I do remember thinking at the time, “I know he has

suffered with all his sickness, and for so long, yet he was old too”…….. Old?

I was young at twenty three and he was old at fifty two.

Why did I go into detail about this one segment of my life? How does this have

anything to do with my Blog? I started the Blog in memory of my daughter who died

so young and riddled with dis-ease as well.

When my daughter was born, had my father taken care of his health, he would only

have been sixty two years old. Such a very sad fact of life. Good Mental Health is major

important to conquering dis-ease. Many books have been written attributed to body,

mind and spirit. Feed the body and the mind good health and the spirit will soar. “Mind

over matter”. Books go on to state that “you are what you eat”. So many other books

state that you can heal your own life by taking the reins of “good, mental and physical

thought, bring good health overall.

There is a very famous book written by Louise Hay “You can Heal Your Life”. Louise

believes, as do I, that “mental patterns can create dis-eases in the body”. She

advocates for positive exercizes over and over again and states how healing these

exercises are to a person. Its amazing how simple she puts the recipe for life out there

for us to follow. She believes that “all is perfect, whole and complete. I have within me

all the ingredients for success. Whatever I am guided to do will be a success. I learn

from every experience………..”{ Louise Hay}

How major is this statement. I learn from every experience. My father had, early on in

his twenties, been a super success. He had worked and gained notoriety as a life

insurance salesman and made a huge living, worked and lived in Chicago. His early

huge income along with his smoking and constant binge drinking got the best of him.

He divorced his first wife and on his way to oblivion, met my mother, got her pregnant,

then with their children and all his responsibilities in tow, he decided never to go back to

a good job again. He only addressed the family business at hand, through drunken

eyes of permanent disenchantment. He drank from morning until late into the night.

I must confess, I seldom ever saw him sober. His reality become diluted in the never

ending need for liquor. He sold things throughrout our house for liquor when he didn’t have any money for drinking. On the days he waited for my mother to come home from work, he slept on the

sofa. His mind and body became so delapitaded with dysfunction, daily drama and

dis-ease, that in the end, he looked very, very old. At ten years old, Bridget could have,

if my father would have avoided dis-ease, known her grandfather to be seventy two

years old. Its not uncommon to have a daughter who is twenty and who still sees her

grandfather at eighty two years old. Yet in our family, that was not to be. How many

sad, unspent , no memory years of no grandfather, and for what? The almighty drink of

alcohol. He traded in his life and all the memories of grandchidren for this? My father

left everyone behind in the dust for the “almighty drink” and then he became dust.

Bridget traded in her life and all the memories of her little children growing up for drugs

and liquor? So My father and Bridget are now gone into memory of the dead. My

fathers’ choices affected anyone and everyone around him, and not in a good way.

There is a memory to every family. What memory are you making for your family?

Every family is fallible, fragile and needs forgiving. How do we handle dis-ease?

I do believe that after my father died, I got angry. I ran away into my mind and my

job and my life for many years. When tragedy struck, I ran away into the dis-ease

of dark drinking and dysfunction of the abyss that disabled me. I didn’t realize that

when I decided to marry it was time again, time to start over and raise and show my

children TRUTH. It was time for me to avoid dis-ease if I could. But some family habits

carry over to generations.

Alas, sometimes drinking becomes too easy and too simple and too “quick’ of a solution

to temporarily avoid all the pain. I am certainly not going into the pain today. I will only

tell you it was never easy. There were some horrific moments of sadness, regret and

fear. As I look back, I see now, had I been “aware of the TRUTH inside me”, had I faced my

fears without the dreaded help of drinking, life would have been so much easier.

However through my sadness came my FAITH, Then and only then my belief in my

Lord took the place of unnecessary heartache. I said, “when the student is ready the

teacher appears”. and so HE did. The Dear Lord has given me a chance to share with

you today all the internal insights that helped me overcome my darkness and extreme

adversity. So I close today hoping you heard the obvious. Hoping you heard the good

news of how you too, can over come anything that tries to keep you full of fear. For you

now know the recipe for FAITH.

I ask you, “today are you ready to awaken to HIM and avoid dis-ease?

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“What’s Normal?” Blog #37

It was a normal day and everyone was going to work on a beautiful sunny morning.

The city was filled with noise and people looking forward to a normal September day.

In the blink of an eye, the Twin Towers came crashing down in fiery flames and

thousands of people last their lives. Their normal day was changed to disaster in a

heartbeat forevermore. On a hot December 26, 2004 morning, half way around the

world out of the blue, the biggest Tsunami to hit the Indian Ocean destroyed coastal

vacation spots forevermore. This killed more than 250,000 people. This changed lives

from normalcy to never-ending sadness. It was a hot July morning and I was not going

to be late for my Floor Duty scheduled this Tuesday. When I arrived at my office, I stood

in front of my desk staring down at the quote on my daily calendar, “Oh normal day, let

me be aware of what a treasure you are”.

One hour later, my Mother was brutally murdered by a drug addict and my normal life

was changed forever more. What insurance policy do we have on the “Unexpected

changing our Normal Day to chaos”?

Everything that happens to us affects our sense of normal day in and day out. I believe

unless we take stock of every day habits, daily thoughts and daily actions, what we

consider to be “normal”, just may be our demise. A slippery slope exists when it comes

to our emotions. We must deal with decisions, judgement and reality with a clear head.

This is why every day I pray for discipline, detachment and discernment to see clearly.

Sometimes we cancel relationships for a lifetime, based on terrible words, or one

sad incident. We can lose family member relationships based on our judgement of how

we expect others to “normally behave” around us. Why be upset over things that are

out of our control? A stigma has attached itself to society. It is constantly pulling at all

of us. Invading our lives, it tries to get us to “see normal” through foggy, haze colored

glasses of artificial help.. There are commercials everywhere talking up the importance

of any and every kind of drug “just to get through each day”. One commercial goes like

this, “remember Big Lou, he’s like you, he’s on drugs too - Really? Well, that’s probably

right because the pharmaceutical companies are billionaires. And the numbers are

staggering. Now younger and younger people are believing this too.

More and more of us, in wanting to avoid dealing with any emotion, find a quick fix.

Try not to “Feel any thing” (This does not apply to medical reasons for intake).

The authentic feelings we have Inside are critical to our inner growth!

We need to use our moral compass to direct each one of our days.

By examining our feelings, we make amends where needed and remove regrets.

How many people alive, live life as though today were there last? Not many.

We take for granted what we feel is “normal acting, normal thinking and normal

behavior. From the advertisements on the air, to the movies we watch to the songs

we listen to. What do we see around us? A thick cloud of dysfunction is everywhere.

Where is the accountability? Do people address accountability in the youth today?

Speaking truth in every situation is healing. We need to be kind and tactful, yet

speak the truth. I believe this is the way to have a normal, healthy, happy life..

Sometimes we think why bother with a family member when their stubbornness is out

of our control? If we are worried, or unhappy or sad because of a family members

actions, speak the truth to them, yet remember we cannot change another heart. Be

careful though, are we “caretakers” or “caregivers”? It is not possible to fix others except

inside our own self. There is prayer and forgiveness and truth on our part. Then let go

because HE knows best. Truth is never hidden from an honest heart. However parents

need to do their part to speak truth and don’t be afraid to have an honest conversation

with your teen about serious issues.

IF this were the last day of any of our lives Would we look at life differently? Forgiveness

comes when we see others as we see ourselves. Every morning I wake up and thank the

Dear Lord for letting me see everyone I meet through HIS eyes only. We live in a society

saturated with signals telling us we “ need something to fix our day”. Rather why not tap

into the inner guidance of the Christ light inside us now.

It is not normal to want to numb or dull our senses daily, WE need to “feel our feelings”.

Our life becomes dangerous when we rationalize away the truth of our reality. We can’t

say I don’t care. What goes around comes around and it will catch up with each one of

us somewhere. We will only learn why we are here when we agree we need to “feel all

of our feelings” cold turkey. No getting high too avoid any emotion. No vaping, no

drugging, just plain feeling those feelings. Ask your teen if they do drugs to hide from

feelings in life. We all need to deal daily with a clear head, the following raw emotions of

sadness, regret, loneliness, anger, confusion, frustration, happiness, love, hate, sorrow

and of course the big one, “guilt”. Guilt for all or nothing at all, we have or haven’t done.

And its all okay. We are all in this together.

I promise you from the day I decided to avoid all drugs and liquor, my life has been

lighter, brighter and so much better. I don’t need to be high for any reason any more, no

matter what happens, nor do you. Trust me, this is truly a beautiful honest feeling of

freedom. Then and only then, can we learn about ourself and what we’ve came here to

do. Why are we alive? We are definately alive for a very specific reason and that

reason is to learn to love ourself unconditionally. A wise spiritual Guru once told me that

he walked into a bar years ago. Suddenly the wierdest thing happened to him. He

actually could “SEE” dark hovering energy spiraling down into the crown chakras of all

the people that were high or wasted on alcohol or whatever. He shared the

understanding of the old saying “Oh the Devil made me do it”. What does this mean?

It means we are not in control of our minds and bodies when we allow darkness to take

over. Do not give into temptation. We can do this one day at a time.

So today my normal day is not filled with dark drama or dysfunction. I want to be

authentic with a clear head. I see no need for drugs, alcohol or chemicals in my body to

“feel good”. What’s normal in the way I react to other people? I am now aware

everyone is on their own path, stuck or growing. I can only work on me! I am strong in

my faith and my belief in my Creator. Nothing can destroy this! My sense of self stems

from goodness and truth, and brings a normal balance into my choices of friendships.

I choose those around me to build me up, not tear me down. As we change lifestyles,

it’s important to only have healthy-minded people around us. I pray all our lives can

leave behind misplaced anger, regret and judgement. Everything that has happened to

each of us, makes us stronger. Hold on and believe it. With this approach we can have

a normal healthy balanced life. We can feel our faith, forgiveness & fortitude at work, as

we see those around us.

Remember this old saying, “there but for the grace of God, go I”.

So I wrap up tonight by asking, “How do you feel about what’s making your life normal

today?

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"Why is it…..?” Blog # 36

Why is it that the hardest things to do are the most important in life?

Why is truth so important? Why is trust just as important and why does it matter?

Truth is in everything. If we can learn to “discern” we can get to a safe place in,

life a lot better. If we can trust in our gut to lead us on our way and not “astray” , then

life gets easier every day. IF we can trust just for today, everything happened for a

reason. Sometimes we don’t even understand the reason until much later in life. Life is

here to teach us something about ourself. Then life gets a little bit clearer showing us

“why we are here”. Our daily lives will forever be a puzzle in putting the pieces together

in the right way. It takes a tremendous amount of patience with ourself. We must be

brave. However, why is it so many people purposely stay depressed, angry and sad?

Mostly because it appears to be easier. It is not, but it only looks that way for now.

If I take a backseat look at the version of my life that believed in self-medicating. I must

admit it appeared easier to hide behind a drink at the end of the day. Only when I

realized the end of the day started earlier and earlier each day and then came the

black outs. So I stopped cold turkey. That was many years ago.

Why is it that fear has so much to do with holding us back from our highest potential?

Because it is easier. It is so much easier to just look at life from inside and not venture

outside. When we take each day and stay stuck, we live inside our fear. We are acting

afraid by not doing the difficult part to our lives that involves “trusting in the unseen

power”. For it is HIS Love that take us to parts unimaginable, regardless of whatever age

we are now. Remember that Grandma Moses started painting in her late nineties! A

former President of the United States parachuted out of a plane at the age of ninety.

Plus they just had a marathon biker win a race well into his nineties. Why is it? It is

because they believed in Mind over matter. I choose to see it as Faith in the unseen

presence of HIS love that guides us daily.

When my husband and I were in our late fifties and all our friends were traveling the

country and starting to think about retirement, why is it that I wanted something

different for my husband and I? We had raised our two eldest children and they

were on their own and well into their thirties.

Why is it I felt a need to do something different and take the risk? With the help

of my husband, we managed to find the resources and after many appointments,

we were candidates for adoption! We were going to adopt a baby and I must

admit, the majority of our friends said; “Why?” “Why is it that your so crazy to do this?”

I just knew inside my gut that there was someone else out there that my husband

and I could help guide. A little life that was in need of a home and we were waiting.

It really was quite a miricle if you see why I choose to believe the way I do. The other

couple that were candidates, were asking too many questions and insisted on seeing a

picture of the baby first. They also wanted lots of testing done and kept asking

questions. Needless to say, I believed, if we were meant to do this - The dear Lord would

would make it happen. And so we asked no questions, and this is how it turned out..

The state chose my husband and I and we were in our late fifties. We were chosen over

the University professor and his wife that were in their early forties. I remember that

morning well. I was making a big pot of vegetable soup and got the phone call.

The state placement person said; “You can go pick up your little baby girl tomorrow

morning at eleven am. I guess The Dear Lord had decided it was to be us. I put

the idea out there in the universe, and HE made it happen.

We were now going to be parents again and a beautiful little Irish girl just ten months

old came into our lives. The following year the state called again and told us we had

just hours to make up our mind on taking our little girls real brother. There were many

people waiting in the wings to adopt a little boy so young, at eleven months old.

“Lets do it”, my husband had said. “How hard can one more be?”

Why is it that I just trusted in the process at my age? Im certainly not going to tell you

there have not been challenges along the way, of course there have! However, we

would not have it any other way. Our lives have been so much more enriched. We

could never imagine living our life without our daughter and our son that are now in

their teen years. So much to do and so little time to do it in. I guess I have to say that my

inner guidance led me to doing what I was meant to do.

Why is it that so many people, upon finding this inner secret of “guiding truth”, feel safe

by embracing it and then the best part happens. They begin to feel differently. They

feel free of depression and dark thoughts and let go of the ways that held them back.

I have to admit, from the day that we got our little ones, right up to this day, there is

seldom a moment when I sit and just think about myself and my problems. I am too

busy! I have far too much to do. A great saying to bring in the fold here is this motto:

“Give the busiest people more to do and they will get it done without worry”.

I hope today, you find the message in what I have shared with you. Yes, I too have

struggled with depression and sadness and fear. I have had days that I have cried out

internally, “Why me God? Why is it always me, that sad things have to happen to?”

I seldom say that anymore. As the days turn into months and the months turn into

years, I have found peace in helping guide and raise our two little ones who in their

teenage years are filled with challenge. My life brings me so much more awareness

and keeps my mind challenged. Not a day goes by that I don’t say, “thank you for this

day and all that is coming to me to learn from”. I feel by helping another soul we think

less about our own personal needs.

Years back, Mother Theresa was a famous nun who lived and cured the lives of those

that lived in Calcutta India - from Leprosy. Yet, she never got it! When a reporter was

interviewing her after she received the Nobel Peace Prize he asked her this question,

“How in the world can a person go out and help the world when there is so much

sadness and crime and darkness everywhere?” Mother Theresa, who was this little, bitty

person, looked up at the reporter with her aged wrinkled face and smiling she softlsaid to him; “Oneperson at a time, son, one person at a time”.

So as I close my blog this evening, I ask you, “Is there someone you feel you could help

today, one person at a time?”

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“Officially Gone'' Blog #35

Everything in our past is gone now, forever.

There are only good and bad memories for all of us living, to choose from. NOW given

these 2 choices, why choose only the good memories? IF we choose to look at the past

as our ‘teacher”, we are VERY fortunate. For now we become aware and are in a good

place. Then believe it or not, we start growing in a positive manner. Lots of people

wonder why in the world were they put in a certain family? Many of us wonder why

certain family members keep hurting our lives? I remember a very wise counselor

telling me once “when the student is ready, the teacher appears”. How can that be?

And what does that even mean? This is what I feel that statement means. We go thru

life and we each and every one of us, are given different lessons to learn and discern

and evolve from. Almost every lesson we are given comes in the form of other people.

People all around us are there for the “teaching”.

Of course, when we are little we learn from our families, both good and bad habits.

We learn a lot of laughter in the home and we may learn a lot of sadness depending on

the parent. Some parents are workaholics and strict with dscipline. Other parents are

liberal and loose. Some parents sent dangerous signals by daily dozes of pills and liquor.

Other parents hide feelings. of affection and love. Some parents just plain gave up and

followed their own selfish needs. People don’t always learn from life’s situations that

happen to them. they don’t look at this as a “learning tool”. LIFE IS FOR LEARNING LESSONS. It doesn’t matter who or where we came from

when it comes to learning;.because in the end, we walk away from family life with our

own concrete ideas on how to live life. Ah-ha. And so then we start. We are either

afraid or assured. We are either filled with hope or filled with fear. We either believe in a

Godly spiritual force that is guiding us or we don’t even give it a thought, for then we

go on to live a secular, carefree life of want and need. WE justify our reasons for raising

children as we wish. Life continues on.

However, whether we are 15 years old or maturing our way into late life, what do we

actually know that is ‘TRUTH’? How do we learn to discern? We still each have

something in common with one another. We get to make choices every single day,

right from wrong and good from bad. And very importantly, happy from sad. We can

choose to be happy. At one point in my life, I had four beautiful children, and now have

three. I choose to remember all the good mermories from my eldest daughter above

all. How do we officially close the door to our own sadness,, despair and heartache?

I just do it. I pray for courage, strength and peace of mind THEN Just do it. We CAN say

to ourselves, “I used the tools I had at the time, nothing more and nothing less. I could

not do more than I know now I was equipped with”. Then I give it all to HIM.

I officially say the past is over and I close that door. It’s officially gone.

Sometimes its not possible to tell someone you forgive them, or say you are sorry

yet, in your heart and mind -you can say and think this thought and this becomes a

very freeing feeling. To understand that the past is no more in our control and to

believe that it is only there in the past as a “directional tool” giving us the opportunity to

go forward and thrive or to stay stuck and die on the vintage vine of hopeless, lost

regret. If so, this is not learning, this is not going forward. This way of thinking is not

healthy. SO I LET IT GO.

Recognizing and letting go of any mistakes we think we have made is HUGE. Other

people will always be our ‘TEACHERS’ in some way or another. It is hard to look at life this

way but therein lies the rub. I learned many lessons from my daughter, Bridget. First

and foremost I learned you cannot save someone from themself. Everyone makes their

own choices. Bridget had made some bad ones. Yet, I saw her sadness her fears, her

hope and her tears. In the end, She taught me this……….

I learned about forgiveness and patience and humility from her. I also learned how to

take my inner pain and persevere wanting to help someone else. We all know that time

can be our friend or our foe. PAIN, inner pain, is a powerful teacher.

How do we use our time each and every day? Are we genuinely healing ourself?

Last evening I was sitting in my den alone changing the channels on the television.

How very many choices I had. Do we think about this each day? Do we randomly

pick a show that we can fixate on sadly? We can change it! We can watch comedy or

horror on tv, we can watch inspiring, or depressing movies. We can educate ourselves

or stare at a mindless reality show. OUR LIFE is entirely up to us, I tried a little experiment

with myself after one of my many overwhelming migraine headaches which usually

transpired into severe states of sadness and depression. Many days of senseless

darkness.

I forced myself to try something brand new. I immediately dressed in something nice,

got out of my house, as hard as it was, I did this. Then I walked and walked and walked.

I tried to notice things that had no importance to me before. I breathed deeply over

and over again, I put my hands together and I cried for help internally. I just kept

walking. I had brought along a bottle of water and I stopped where it seemed safe

and sat on a park bench. I began to “people watch“ and it was comforting.

Suddenly I started to think about other people. Every single person comes into this

world all alone. Every person goes through life with their own set of issues, happiness

and sadness and then we all go out of this world alone, There is nothing leaving earth

with us except for our soul. Then I believe, if we have learned our lessons and we have

done a good job here on earth, we get to be reunited with our families and our pets.

This is truly a heavenly thought. This is my faith belief. So in all honesty, my blog today is

about closing the door to the past. The part of our lives where we must accept the fact

we only had the tools to deal with that part of our lives then.

That was then, and this is now. My days of sickness are behind me

Who we are depends on each one of us. Who we are depends on our choices today.

We can choose to go out and help in some way, another person. We can choose to

love and to be kind and to forgive. We can choose to grow internally. Finally, IF we can

just accept HIM. HE, who was a Jew, yet a man who unconditionally embraced all

mankind. HE who only spoke love to his last beaten breath then saying to us all, “Father

Forgive them, for they know not what they do”.

Does that sound like some dangerous criminal we should kill?

NO, on the contrary we are afraid of his overpowering love for us all.

Is HE really too perfect for us?

Can we just try one day to do life differently? Be less stubborn by accepting HIM. Look

at our body as the Temple of God. Try to be kind to our bodies by good food and

healthy choices. Put only healthy thoughts into our mind and our actions. If someone

we know is on a darker, denser, lowly path - we may need to move away, lest we get

sucked into that darkness. Closing the door slowly, confidently and officially saying the

past is over. I will ask for help from my Lord always and when I feel weak, I will learn and

say the Light Power of Protection Prayer. Knowing when said, I am always safe from

harm.

The light of God Surrounds me,

The Love of God enfolds me,

The Power of God Protects me,

and the Presence of God watches over me, Wherever I am - God Is and All is well.

Today I ask you, “Can you officially close the door and learn from your past”?

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“Standing Still….” Blog #34

Maybe a better title could be, still standing”. How many of us can relate to that?

Our days can be completely filled with dread or a feeling of fear in not wanting to

do what we must do each day. Yet, every person alive must deal with the things

they want to put off, not think about or are beyond difficult. The biggest problem of all

comes when we refuse to see what is expected of us. The bigger problem then comes

when we “feel” we need a drink or pill or any kind of chemical help to boost us along.

So many, many of us now adays just don’t want to “feel” life. Yet, therein lies the rub.

This is where the growth takes place. This is where we learn about ourselves. We might

not even understand why we self-medicate, to the point of not wanting to “feel life”. It is

time to STOP this behavior for THIS is where we find the inner courage to do the things

we must. We must do this “cold turkey” and do it with no artificial help. Just jump right

into life issues. With the inner spiritual strength that it always available to us all.

However, there is a caveat to all of this.

How to remember this scared tool that lies within?

There will always be this unseen help, available and ready and willing to come internally

to be our ‘Guide'. I feel it now. Go someplace quiet. Be by yourself.

Ask internally these words, “Thank you for helping me find my way today, Lord”.

I just ask and help comes to me instantly. One can be assured of one very real truth. No

one is prepared for the unexpected. What is the unexpected? I personally have

experienced this and was in no way prepared. Just going along my day, planning my

day and preparing my daily life with a young family that I was in. I was a young mother,

I had an 18 month old child and I loved the work that I did. I sold houses every day. I

listed houses and we had a new home that we were so proud to own. We also had a

wonderful Golden Lab and her name was Sunny. My husband and I had a great life and

went to work every day. We did not fight or have a bad married life. We were only

married for seven years when the “unexpected” happened.

One thing we did not do was go to church together.

Externally we felt we had it all together. Internally we were in the dark. Why? We just

didn’t even think about this. We did not think it was necessary and we did not talk about

our faith together either. In fact, we did not feel the need to do this. What for? We had

all the things we could ever dream we needed. right? Don’t most people especially

today - live like this? I am guessing so. However now days there are fewer and fewer

in-tact families EVEN still standing. I have to admit though I was very caught up in my

materialistic world. I just wanted to make lots of money and buy as many things as we

could for our family. Drinking was a big part of our social life because believe it or not,

what else do you do when you get together with your married friends? I just know as I

look back and see all these parts of my life - there is only one reason why I am still

standing tall and unafraid for the most part. Jesus Christ.

When devastation came into my life and I used the only tools that I had, which was

drinking,. I went full circle until I learned that was not the answer. It doesn't matter what

you’ve heard in the past, I tell you, children learn what they see. Subconsciensly, inside

my mind were many little videos of my own life growing up and watching my own

parents drink day in and day out. Got a problem? Take a drink. Want to relax take a

drink (or a pill now too). Want to party? Take another drink! On and on life goes until

something screams at us to try something different. I know that If I look back and

someone would ask me, “Wasn’t there anyone that stood out as a mentor?” I would

have to say my grandfather who lived to be almost 100 and I saw him on his last day of

life.

He came to the breakfast table where he was still living with my aunts in Arizona.

Smelling like old spice and wearing a crisp white shirt with pressed trousers, he was old

now but kind and loving too. He winked at me when I asked “how you feeling today

Grandpa?” Smiling he said, “With my fingers honey”. I got the joke right away and

laughed. He had been a quiet man for the years I knew him. Yet, a powerful presence

of good in my life. He was always reading the paper, visiting the restaurants that his

children owned and keeping a quiet, but vigelent presence in all their lives. He ate good

food for all my high school years I lived with him. He drank a little this and a little that,

but always in moderation. He watched funny shows at night and laughed alot. I always

saw his Bible opened at the side of his bed., On the last day of his life he came down

and ate a big breakfast. He told me a funny joke and went up to take a short nap before

lunch. I found him laying peacefully on top of his chenille white bedspread. His hands

were folded across his chest. Reading-glasses lay beside him on his bedside table next

to his open Bible. He was gone now. He had returned to his real home. I silently stood

standing over him and I touched his nose and it was cold. Somehow I instinctively knew

he had lived a very fulfilled, balanced and good life. I stayed standing there for a long

time just watching how peaceful he appeared.

Now today, if I start to worry or become fearful or filled with dread, I remember that day

from so many years ago and it brings me peace. I share this story with you to bring you

peace and tell you this in truth. My Grandpa was a kind, honest and good man who

lived to be almost 100. He had a good life and so can we. Whenever we feel alone,

worried or fearful. There is only one way to stand still with courage. HE is the way and HE

is our Guide. The Christ light within you will quietly, quickly and safely lead you out of

darkness.

I ask you today, “Are you still standing alone?” Knock and the door will open now.

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''Brutal Teachers’’ Blog #33

Have you ever heard the old saying: “Life is not for sissies?” There is so much truth in

these words. Never a day goes by that we are not learning something in some way.

Whether we realize this or not, is the important piece to it all. I believe we come into this

life to learn our lessons and to help other people. All of the lessons that we learn take on

so many different faces. It is our choices in life that can bring on the great teacher

“discipline”. Discipline can confuse and conflict and contradict all that which we think

we are striving for.

When I was younger and I was very involved with a person that had many different

problems, I decided to go to a therapist to get some help. I wanted to know why my life

seemed to be so sad all the time. The man that I was seeing was elderly and kind and

had been in the profession for many, many years. He smiled at me and said,

“sometimes we choose hard situations to learn from!” I looked at him with such anger

and said: “ I didn’t choose to fall in love with this person, it just happened!” The elderly

therapist smiled again and patiently said to me, “the two of you coming together was a

lesson in learning”. I said, “What are you talking about?” He went on, “First of all, you

both were on the same wave length, you both had similar lessons to learn and that is

why you were thrown together”. I became even more frutrated and said to him, “What

lessons are you referring to?” There was a long pause before he spoke. “I think you

already know this”, he said. Both of you were needy, stuck and addicted to the wrong

kinds of emotions. When you couple that with caretaking instead of caregiving, it

becomes dysfunctional. He paused, and went on, “the big problem most people have in

this area, is that they are afraid to be alone and learn about themself!” “You, my dear

girl, are one of those people”. I remember exactly how I felt the day. I left and went

home that night, poured myself a big glass of red wine, and buried myself in my

miseries. “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about”, I said.

My life went on like this for a few more years until it wiped me out. Finally, after all the

caretaking I could handle, our relationship had come full circle and was spinning in a

dead-end circle. Both of us were not ready to leave, it had to take something big and

brutal for my life to get my attention. My migraine headaches, my anxiety, and my

panic attacks were controlling me. People will find people to be in their life at whatever

level they are at. I had to keep reminding myself what a great teacher my therapist had

become to me. He showed me that I was choosing dysfunctional relationships

based on only my awareness of life. I was addicted to dysfunctional drama. I was not

ready for a healthy, happy, loving relationship. I just wanted a relationship I could

try to fix. A normal healthy, happy person just sounded boring.

He also told me something that left me cold. He said, “so often we just settle”. Based on

past sadness, based on the way in which we are raised, based on so many of our fears,

we go out into life and we choose partners that we “feel” are right for us. We sometimes

find a partner we are comfortable with because of the way we grew up. An important

question to ask ourselves is this, “Are we caregivers in the relationships around us or are

we caretakers?” Whoever is or has been in our life our “teacher” too.

Fear is a brutal teacher. Fear of anything great gets our attention fast. Physical

illness is another great teacher. We can be actually humbled by this teacher and

sickness can pull the rug right out from under us. Sickness can show us life in so many

different colors. In relationships within the family another great teacher is that" “ Brutal

Pride”. The feeling that we must keep the role we play within our family even when it isn’t

working for us any longer. Then there is the brutal beast of all,” Tough Love. Being able to say something truthful to someone close to us without crushing their spirit. How many of us are truly able to do this? IF only we can find enough self love to believe that

the Christ spirit that lives in all of us will win out. It is with this undiluted understanding

of why we are here, that brings us to accept any and all of those around us at exactly

where they are. What do I mean by this? Simply put, we cannot change another

human being. We cannot make them more loving, kinder or more truthful. However, we

an work on ourself day in and day out. We can put out a lantern of welcome rather

than a mask of disguise. We can accept certain set backs with family members exactly

as they are. This means, IF there are family members that deliberately hurt you,

remember this is because they themselves are hurting inside. Sometimes it is best to

see this, accept this, and pray for them. Then take a break for however long it takes.

That’s tough love. It is up to them, it is up to them to make the next move, as long as

you continue to be a bridge and not a wall. The peace and quiet and truthful

acceptance that you have left them remains with no regrets. Accept and move on.

I have to say that only because my faith in Christ has strengthened me.

For this belief is who I am.

Yet, I marvel at those who still insist there is nothing out there after one dies. I have only

to look at the lowly caterpillar and then at the wonderers of the monarch butterfly it

becomes. The queens death quietly at 96 years old and her own words shortly

before she died: “ Our purpose here is merely to pass through, to love and learn and

then to return home” How eloquently put. After she died there was a double rainbow over her castle. My own little son at eight years old running in our house just seven years ago excitedly telling me how he saw and spoke with Jesus personally. He went into such graphic detail, there was no doubt in my mind this had truly happened. I am

convinced beyond the shadow of a doubt, Jesus made this wonderful world for us to

live in and learn all the lessons we need to learn to GROW spiritually and go on

eternally to live. The brutal teachers come about when we refuse to learn. What greater gift to give our children, the gift of eternal hope `~ or nothing? The only

sadness lies in those who refuse to believe there is something much greater beyond.

We have only to dwell on this thought for a moment. Why else was the sun and the

moon, the stars and all of us made? Just to turn into dust? No, I do not believe thisl

This beautiful world was created for us to grow, and learn and go on living. it’s just that in the end, we need to stop, look and listen to what the universe is trying to teach us in the lessons we’ve been given

.

I ask you today, “What lesson are you being given and need to learn today?”

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