“A Way Out..” Blog 50

It is so easy to get up every morning and just do the same thing. Every person likes the

familiar. We are comfortable with what we know. Change is hard. More often than not,

we are thrown into change without realizing how it came to be. Another person, an

event, a life changing moment when we leave the familiar behind. Nature in all its

beauty is a great teacher. Take for instance the furry, little caterpillar crawling around

on the ground. At some point it goes into a “cocoon” and miraculously, a Monarch

Butterfly takes its place. Why does this happen? My take on this is because it is “free

now” The lowly caterpillar crawled around the earth until it was his time. Time to

change. Time for the cocoon. Then time for the bright beautiful butterfly.

Our time on this earth is a lot like this and very important. Its important for each one of

us to separtely see the individual lessons we “each are meant to learn”. Then we evolve.

I remember a time long ago when my favorite place to be was up at my Grandpa’s

cabin. Why? This was a magical, beautiful safe place to be. More than the old log

cabin filled with history, it was the people there who created the drama, the lessons and

the memories. The old aunts were amazing cooks and they fussed day in and day out,

over my grandpa. They could make a fabulous meal morning, noon or night. Always

there were wonderful aromas coming out of the old log kitchen. Home made Danish

coffee cake baking in the oven, a pork roast marinating on the counter for dinner.

Chocolate chip cookies in the oven. On the days when the sun was out, the lake was

serene and smooth. Water skiing would be perfect. Yet my aunts would be scurrying

around after the big breakfast dishes and now on to the morning wash. Hanging the

white sheets out on the line with clothespins clipped securely in the morning sun.

Nothing smelled better than fresh sheets, blowing in the breeze, and the beds made.

Yet, why do I bring this up now? Because there was a safety net of peace in all of this.

I saw how they revered and cherished and took good care their father. My own life had

been so fear based before I moved in with them. Yes, now I had a lot of chores to do, but

it made me feel good about myself, and they would always be there.

I never gave it a thought that things would change. My aunts and my grandpa were

getting old, but in my mind they were fixtures in the old summer cabin. They were tough

on me, I must say I never really felt their love. But I gleamed something so much more.

I watched and observed and saw my Grandfather for ‘who he was’ more than anything

else. My aunts would gossip and spill their anger at times on all the different family

members, and my grandpa just watched. He said nothing. He watched and listened

and ate all the good food they made. The delicious, different Devine aromas coming

out of the kitchen, somehow made me feel safe. My grandpa sitting in his big easy

chair in the great paneled vaulted room with that massive stone fireplace overlooking

the Lake, brought it all together.

What’s not to love. The entire irony of it all was me. Where was I at in my own head?

In one simple word. Young! I was young and anxious and filled with the need for

excitement. Yet, somehow my grandpa without ever knowing it, made me feel safe. His

presence and his “way of living life” gave me subtle, silent, inner hope. My own parents

were emeshed in their selfish, alcoholic, demanding world. Small children took a back

seat to their daily dark drama and by the time I was thirteen years old., internally I was

tired of the fighting, screaming, and crying that kept me awake night after night.

So I asked my aunts and my Grandpa IF I could move in with them. This is where I lived

for three years and finished high school.

I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE EASY. My aunts were demanding and tough and workaholics.

Often they talked badly about my family. They claimed to be Christians and follow the

Bible and go to church, but they didn’t live that way! It was okay for me to think badly

about my parents, but it cut to my core when my aunts said cruel things. So I was

confused a lot, but never scared there. I thought I had found solice and definitely a

“way out” of all my problems. There’s a great saying, “If you want to make God laugh,

tell him your plans”.

Living with my aunts and Grandpa was anything but easy. They were demanding. An

old German family that worked seven days a week and more if they could have! Their

life was built around their restaurant business that seemed to keep them emblazoned

with energy night and day. Ironically it was not my aunts that gave me the inner

fortitude and courage and drive I feel I have, but my Grandpa. He was the one that

lived almost to one hundred. Was there a special way out of trouble that he taught me?

No, not at all. He showed me something better. He had learned the art of acceptance

and observance and inner peace. This was a man that seldom spoke. Yet, when he did,

we all listened. This was a man way into his nineties that awoke, shaved, put on his Old

Spice and fresh ironed white shirt, rolled up his sleeves and came down to a big

breakfast every morning and started his day. He was interested in every part of life. He

read countless papers daily. He lived with his three daughters in a big colonial and

carried on quietly in life, one day at a time. Silently, he showed me he had found “a way

out” of fear. His Bible lay on the table beside his bed, opened daily. It was the simple

way he lived life that made me “feel safe” and subconsciously see I too, had “a way out”

of my fear of anything.

By the end, the big old cabin had been exchanged for a home in Arizona. The hot sun

and the desert in bloom was a great memory I still have. I watched his daughters cook

and clean and magically prepare a beautiful meal three times a day for my grandpa.

There was one morning I especially remember, he had come down to breakfast and I

smelled his clean shaven face pass by me at the table. A White linen table cloth and

five course breakfast await him. “How you feeling” today, Grandpa,?” I said. “His warm

twinkling eyes smiled back at me, as he said; “with my fingers Barbie”. I watched as he

slowly ate his morning prunes, then on to nice hot oatmeal. Coming up was a

homemade omelet with his favorite cinammon roll freshly baked and hot out of the

oven. All this topped off with a little real cream in his coffee. When my grandpa had

finished his breakfast, I sat there amazed. He knew just how to do it and was ready for

the day now. At twenty three I had a lot to learn.

Smiling, he drew a big sigh of contentment. Looking over at my aunts he spoke, “You

know girls, I’m gonna take a little rest and I‘ll see you later”. Slowly he got up and I

watched him at almost ninety seven, walk up three flights of stairs.

Then my mind shifted, it was time for a swim on such a beautiful, sunny day. I was at

the swimming pool not even an hour later. The hot sun felt good and I was drifting in

and out of sleep. My eldest aunt came running out to the pool and gestured for me to

come quickly. I went running up to my grandpas bedroom, stood there silently for a

moment and took in the peacefulness. Very slowly I walked over to my grandpa and

touched the tip of his nose, It was ice cold but the room felt warm and inviting. I

remember the sun dancing on the white Chenille bedspread that had been carefully

folded back. My grandpas dark dress pants still had the press in them as he lay on top

of the bed. His hands folded carefully over his chest. He looked so very peaceful. I

remember looking down at him and still feeling so safe by his side.

Why? Because once again, he was showing me the “way out” and it wasn’t scary at all!

My grandpa had survived and lived and thrived to be almost one hundred years old

and he showed me how he did it. Everything in his life held balance. Whether it was

food, or drink, or conversation, there was moderation in all he did. And he never judged

anyone. More than anything else he loved to laugh with his nightly show of Red Skelton.

Above all, his quiet faith endeared and showed me the “way out” of all fear.

“Knock and the door will be open, for HE is waiting. Jesus Christ is truly here.

Can your find a way out of fear with HIS light?

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