“Standing Still….” Blog #34
Maybe a better title could be, still standing”. How many of us can relate to that?
Our days can be completely filled with dread or a feeling of fear in not wanting to
do what we must do each day. Yet, every person alive must deal with the things
they want to put off, not think about or are beyond difficult. The biggest problem of all
comes when we refuse to see what is expected of us. The bigger problem then comes
when we “feel” we need a drink or pill or any kind of chemical help to boost us along.
So many, many of us now adays just don’t want to “feel” life. Yet, therein lies the rub.
This is where the growth takes place. This is where we learn about ourselves. We might
not even understand why we self-medicate, to the point of not wanting to “feel life”. It is
time to STOP this behavior for THIS is where we find the inner courage to do the things
we must. We must do this “cold turkey” and do it with no artificial help. Just jump right
into life issues. With the inner spiritual strength that it always available to us all.
However, there is a caveat to all of this.
How to remember this scared tool that lies within?
There will always be this unseen help, available and ready and willing to come internally
to be our ‘Guide'. I feel it now. Go someplace quiet. Be by yourself.
Ask internally these words, “Thank you for helping me find my way today, Lord”.
I just ask and help comes to me instantly. One can be assured of one very real truth. No
one is prepared for the unexpected. What is the unexpected? I personally have
experienced this and was in no way prepared. Just going along my day, planning my
day and preparing my daily life with a young family that I was in. I was a young mother,
I had an 18 month old child and I loved the work that I did. I sold houses every day. I
listed houses and we had a new home that we were so proud to own. We also had a
wonderful Golden Lab and her name was Sunny. My husband and I had a great life and
went to work every day. We did not fight or have a bad married life. We were only
married for seven years when the “unexpected” happened.
One thing we did not do was go to church together.
Externally we felt we had it all together. Internally we were in the dark. Why? We just
didn’t even think about this. We did not think it was necessary and we did not talk about
our faith together either. In fact, we did not feel the need to do this. What for? We had
all the things we could ever dream we needed. right? Don’t most people especially
today - live like this? I am guessing so. However now days there are fewer and fewer
in-tact families EVEN still standing. I have to admit though I was very caught up in my
materialistic world. I just wanted to make lots of money and buy as many things as we
could for our family. Drinking was a big part of our social life because believe it or not,
what else do you do when you get together with your married friends? I just know as I
look back and see all these parts of my life - there is only one reason why I am still
standing tall and unafraid for the most part. Jesus Christ.
When devastation came into my life and I used the only tools that I had, which was
drinking,. I went full circle until I learned that was not the answer. It doesn't matter what
you’ve heard in the past, I tell you, children learn what they see. Subconsciensly, inside
my mind were many little videos of my own life growing up and watching my own
parents drink day in and day out. Got a problem? Take a drink. Want to relax take a
drink (or a pill now too). Want to party? Take another drink! On and on life goes until
something screams at us to try something different. I know that If I look back and
someone would ask me, “Wasn’t there anyone that stood out as a mentor?” I would
have to say my grandfather who lived to be almost 100 and I saw him on his last day of
life.
He came to the breakfast table where he was still living with my aunts in Arizona.
Smelling like old spice and wearing a crisp white shirt with pressed trousers, he was old
now but kind and loving too. He winked at me when I asked “how you feeling today
Grandpa?” Smiling he said, “With my fingers honey”. I got the joke right away and
laughed. He had been a quiet man for the years I knew him. Yet, a powerful presence
of good in my life. He was always reading the paper, visiting the restaurants that his
children owned and keeping a quiet, but vigelent presence in all their lives. He ate good
food for all my high school years I lived with him. He drank a little this and a little that,
but always in moderation. He watched funny shows at night and laughed alot. I always
saw his Bible opened at the side of his bed., On the last day of his life he came down
and ate a big breakfast. He told me a funny joke and went up to take a short nap before
lunch. I found him laying peacefully on top of his chenille white bedspread. His hands
were folded across his chest. Reading-glasses lay beside him on his bedside table next
to his open Bible. He was gone now. He had returned to his real home. I silently stood
standing over him and I touched his nose and it was cold. Somehow I instinctively knew
he had lived a very fulfilled, balanced and good life. I stayed standing there for a long
time just watching how peaceful he appeared.
Now today, if I start to worry or become fearful or filled with dread, I remember that day
from so many years ago and it brings me peace. I share this story with you to bring you
peace and tell you this in truth. My Grandpa was a kind, honest and good man who
lived to be almost 100. He had a good life and so can we. Whenever we feel alone,
worried or fearful. There is only one way to stand still with courage. HE is the way and HE
is our Guide. The Christ light within you will quietly, quickly and safely lead you out of
darkness.
I ask you today, “Are you still standing alone?” Knock and the door will open now.
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