“My Power” Blog #172

Where within me can I find awareness of HIS truth?

Digging deeper within myself, can I find clarity of purpose?

Ten deep breaths in a row and do I calm myself to invite HIM in?

In my life today what shows me opportunities to thrive or do I just survive? I have higher

awareness internally. Yet, can I believe Jesus Christ is my light now?

So, what is truth?

The dictionary defines truth as “the property of being in accord with fact or reality”. Truth is

something that is objectively true, not subjectively, not a matter of personal opinion or

preference. In other words, TRUTH means the quality or state of being true to oneself. Truth

is absolutely not one persons idea, feeling or understanding of what he or she believes to

be truth. Truth is fact. So based on that premise I want to say I believe Jesus Christ is

truth. For Only HE can give me the understanding of where I need to find my power. If He

is in fact truth and I believe He gives me all my strength. Therein lies my power.

Interestingly enough, when I add in “Spiritual Truth” - I find this definition,

“Spiritual Truth encompasses fundamental realities of existence, moral law, and

divinity. Spiritual truth involves an inner exploration. It transcends material reality and

emphasizes universal principals through various artistic and philosophical

expressions, including personal and societal transformation.” This is amazing!

How much deeper does Spiritual Truth go rather than truth in and by itself? The reason I

bring this up is because I cannot possibly try to understand myself until I WANT to

understand Inner Truth. Always there is more to a definition and here it is. SPIRITUAL TRUTH

is my ANSWER. IMMEDIATELY this definition gives rise to and “Inner exploration of myself”. My

belief in “Moral Law” and “My Belief in Divinity”.

What is Moral Law? Absolute principle defining the criteria of “right actions” through Divine

Ordinance or Truth of Reason. “Divinity” is a divine ordinance which is a “covenant” or

promise between a person and God. The whole reason Jesus Christ came to earth was to

make it easier for people to SEE who God really is. Jesus is God. All he did was manifest

miracles one after another. Yet, because “human nature” is exactly that, human, people

looked at everything HE did as blasphemous. Why? Because they claimed their only god

was Caesar. Yet Caesar is long gone and not revered as Jesus Christ has become to

billions of people.

IF I can do one tiny thing today, I start by agreeing to an Inner exploration of myself. Life

can be simple. I want to comprehend Spiritual Truth. I believe in Jesus Christ. I believe

HE is shows me all I need each and every day to live HIS truth. The ten commandments

are my rule of thumb. “Do unto others as I would want done to me” is my Golden Rule. I

refuse to harbor anger, resentment or grudges anywhere in my being. As far as I can

see, I will continue to try to meet other people where they are at. So that being said, I

will not judge another soul. I resolve to be completely forgiving now. This TRUTH and

living this TRUTH is a very freeing feeling. I resolve to start now.

For herein lies the secret to finding my “Inner Power”.

Can I pray for guidance to find my spiritual truth now?

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“My Safe Place?” Blog # 171

What if today were my last day on earth to live?

How can I see my life differently, where I am going?

Can I decide to fill my day with prayer, peace and purpose?

No matter where I go, no matter what I do or what I buy, it’s never enough. Nothing in this

secular, material, temporal world is ever enough to buy myself “Peace of Mind”. Many

times I have laid in bed at night after a great purchase. Perhaps it was a new home, a new

car, or a specific holiday I had planned for and was now over. At the end of the day, it is

the anticipation that sets the sail. Looking forward to something planned and not here yet.

Then it is all over. Nothing in the entire world is ever as someone wants it to be.

William Shakespeare once noted: “The brain is the souls fragile dwelling place”.

My character is who I am, It is the sum total of all my thoughts, feelings and emotions. So

in order for my soul to work right, I have to grow inside, emotionally and spiritually. If I get

stuck and my mind starts racing in the wrong direction, all kinds of negativity, isolation and

darkness enter in. I have to keep moving around the track of life in a positive manner. Just

imagine walking into a room that is totally dark, with a fowl smell in the room and dark

angry music plays all around me.

HOW DO I FEEL? Angry, unsettling thoughts cause “dis-ease”. Remember this daily!

Here in lies the challenge, NO one person knows what is happening tomorrow. Yesterday

was calm and easy going, not too difficult. Today is different! There may be challenges

around each corner I turn… NOW I must say to myself:

‘WHERE ARE MY TOOLS TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULTY AND HOW CAN I USE THEM?”

Years ago I asked my grandma, “how can I know when to do the right thing?” My grandma

smiled at me saying, “If you feel anxious, don’t do it. If you feel calm, the right decision is

now!” As long as I am alive I realize no other person has ALL the answers for me. It will

always be my decision in the end to decide. Other people give their input and either

contribute good or bad advice to what I must decide for myself. Grandma giving me

advice was a blessing in disguise. However, I need to pray daily for: Discipline, (to do the

right thing), Discernment (to know to do the right thing and Detachment. (to withdraw from

situations not good for me).

Another truth comes into play when seeking my “SaFe Place”. I must see my thoughts,

words and actions daily, in a positive manner. I MUST be focused on the good. If I am

focused on “past problems of yesterday” I am stuck in a rut and this is NOT SAFE FOR ME. I

need to go forward now. Getting to my Safe Place is looking at the thoughts keeping me

stuck. Dwelling in sadness from the past with regret is wrong. I now decide to laugh at the

absurdity of “why In the world” I allow myself to go to past situations of regret and FOR

WHAT? It’s time to dust myself off, give it a good laugh. I say good bye to old intrusive

memories enabling me NOT to forgive. I MUST DO THIS NOW. Above all I desire better

health, improved relationship with another and good behavior on my part. Am I truly

acting like a Christian? I cannot afford to forego a relationship which is NEGATIVE. This

affects my own health in a negative way! Sad, depressive, dark thoughts cause DIS - EASE.

Knowing, the only person affected, is ME! Internally, and all through my own body, I must let

it go. I forgive the other person who has hurt me and now I MOVE ON. What is my

barometer to do this?

Only one man. Jesus Christ. All HIS disciples, mass amounts of followers, friends, ALL

THESE PEOPLE TURNED ON HIM, FOR ALL THE GOOD HE DID.

Still Jesus said, Father forgive them for they know NOT what they do”

IF I REMEMBER ANYTHING FROM TODAY….I WILL USE THE ABOVE SENTENCE TO TAKE ME TO

MY “SAFE PLACE.“ NOW ALL IS WELL.

Can I look at anyone I am upset with and say the above?

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“Why Do I Live? Blog #170

Who can I turn to for help when I am so sad?

What can give me a feeling of peace right now?

Where can I go when I feel so lost in my thoughts?

I MUST believe this one truth. I am in this world, I am alive today, I am loved. Life is actually

very simple. It is the mind and the thinking and the racing thoughts that create chaos

inside me. WHEN I make myself go outside into the fresh air, all by myself, I realize and

accept and see peace IS all around me. Nature is calming.

I can choose to think any thought I wish to think right this minute.

Because of this, I CHOOSE FOR THE REST OF THIS DAY - HEALTHY, GOOD THOUGHTS.

I immediately interject the “Five Second Rule” of thinking. Look it up…

There is an old belief that '“CONSISTENCY IS KING”. What does this mean? This means that

what I think about, what I constantly think about, TAKES OVER ME! Therefore, I have to trick

my brain, constantly be aware and be on top of my game! There is no one else like me out

there. I have been born with unique talents, but it is my obligation and my responsibility

and my choice to choose - choose what?

WHAT DO I WANT OUT OF MY LIFE TODAY? I can think about anything right now……

So I give myself two examples of what I mean. At the end of these 2 examples I get to

choose who I want to embrace inside my own being. No one else can do this.

1. INSIDE MY “LOWER SELF ME”.

   THIS INNER SELF OF ME, A LOWER SELF NATURE, LOVES TO DWELL IN “LIES.” SO NO “SELF

   LOVE” AND ABOVE ALL “SELF DISCIPLINE” IS NOT SOMETHING I CHOOSE TO EMBRACE!

   THEREFORE MY “GOOD GOALS” ARE REPLACED WITH ALL MY HOSTILITIES. WHAT ARE THEY?

   PEOPLE AROUND ME, THE INTERNET, USING THINGS TO NUMB MY BRAIN, AND ABOVE ALL I

   DO NOT LIKE HEALTHY CHANGE. I CONSTANTLY MAKE EXCUSES FOR MYSELF AND PUT OFF

   FINDING MY OWN RELATIONSHIP WITH Jesus Christ. HERE COMES DARKNESS. IT CREEPS

   INTO MY LIFE IN SNEAKY WAYS THROUGH THE WRONG PEOPLE, THE INTERNET, BRAIN

   DIFUSERS AND MORE DARK CHOICES.

2. INSIDE MY “HIGHER SELF ME”

   I HAVE STOPPED LYING TO MYSELF, ABOUT ANYTHING I DO. I GIVE MY LIFE TO JESUS TODAY.

   I REALIZE I CAN’T DO IT ALONE. PRAYING EACH DAY, I FIND MY PURPOSE. I FIND MY POWER -

   I FIND PEACE! NOW I PLAN FOR MY LIFE EACH DAY I PRAY, EXERCISE, EAT HEALTHY, GOOD

   FOOD AND DRINK.

   I REFUSE TO ABUSE MY BODY; FOR “MY BODY IS THE TEMPLE OF GOD” WITH GOALS IN

   PLACE EACH DAY I HAVE A LIST. THIS LIST REPLACES SELF DOUBT. I READ SPIRITUAL TRUTHS.

   I WATCH UPLIFTING PODCASTS. I SEEK OUT HEALTHY FRIENDS WHO I RESPECT.

   I ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR MYSELF. I ADAPT TO CHANGING MY LIFE NOW.

   I WILL NOT LIE.

   I DO NOT LIE.

   I TELL ONLY TRUTH.

I ACCEPT THIS TRUTH: It is always in MY power to Choose GOOD.

The whole reason evil exists is to show us Goodness.

No one person evolves in evil.

I want to mature with constant inner changing to higher and higher levels of TRUTH.

I SEE now WHY I live. I live to DO THE RIGHT THING ,make healthy decisions AND LEARN

MY OWN LESSONS EACH DAY. I don't judge myself for decisions I have made in the past

because THE PAST IS GONE. I AM NOT A PRISONER TO PAST CHOICES. My decisions are

NOW based on INNER HIGHER SELF CHOICE. I heal my body TODAY! I live to be a

productive, prayerful, purposeful person. I WANT to help others in need. I can only do

this BY believing I have purpose. So I prepare. I prepare with A PLAN. I find a way and

start this day. I live to testify to the truth of Jesus Christ my Lord.

Can I find inner truth, and see why I live today?

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“Feel Safe?” Blog #169

Inside my thoughts, what are my “red light” issues?

What tools combat loneliness, depression and anxiety?

Where is my “safe place”, when all around me is chaos?

We are not superhuman. Life is hard. I cannot always resist the incredible pull of old

habits, old temptations and my old weaknesses. For my life to become stronger, better

and healthy, I need to work at it, change parts not working and have a concrete plan. Yet

the biggest part in all this, what inspires me? Above all, I realize the environment

surrounding me has a massive effect on me!

So at the beginning of each day I have to accept ONE important rule,

I need internal, daily uplifting CONSISTENCY.

The way to have happiness in my life is to believe I am loved. I believe I am loved just for

myself. I believe I am loved in spite of myself, past and present.

I NEED TO RELY ON THIS PREMISE.

Who is going to love me this way? ONLY Jesus Christ, unconditionally.

So today I am going to make a list of all my “Trigger Point Issues’. These are my red, yellow

and green light issues. What in the world is going to make a “red light issue”? It’s going to

be something or someone, past or present, that upsets me terribly and there is absolutely

nothing I can do about it! So on my list I put either a persons name, or the situation that

has caused me days, weeks, years of heart ache and I write in “red magic marker,” a big

red exclamation mark. Then I look at my list. I prefer to keep it at “ten” or under. Therefore I

can work my list better. I go on to anything or anyone or any situation and I mark it

“serious - red, take caution, yellow and Green is always Go, or a good relationship. The

yellow comes in to play when I see a person or something ahead of me or currently who I

am “not really comfortable with”. An example would be “a friend who likes to gossip and

tries to pull me into the loop”. A yellow mark may soon turn into red! Green mark is

“safety”. A green mark for a person, or situation or event is “SAFE ZONE”. Before I make up

my list for Trigger Point Issues”, I must have a short list in place for my own “Internal

Safety Support”. What does this list consist of? Before I rise each morning I make a mental

note to now pray to Jesus to protect me and my day. I pray for all those around me. I eat

a good breakfast and I stretch/exercise. Plan and “road map my day”

It’s nice to have a “mentor” in life. This is a person who one feels safe in reflecting their

habits. A mentor is a person who has good habits with good qualities. This mentor’s good

qualities reflect values I believe in and are important and positive for me. I might also note

a “green check mark” goes next to a person who I feel is totally and completely honest.

This person and I have mutual respect for each other. They have a sense of humor and

are fun. They are quick to be forgiving and filled with remorse if needed. Always this

person, who I value in my life, accepts responsibility for any contribution good or bad to

our friendship. I can always feel good sharing my thoughts and concerns and ideas with

this person. We all need at least ONE person in our life who has these qualities.

What’s interesting thus far, is I seemed to have developed a “three part plan” for myself. I

have an “Internal Safety Support” all set up for feeling safe. I have my prayer and

meditation and Jesus Christ in my heart. I have my external support system in place by

utilizing my “trigger Point Issues’ Plan. Then I have my “stress reducers” three part plan.

Breathing - Exercise - Healthy Eating. Here in lie the basis for my own good, health living

day in and day out. I must try very hard not to go into the “Red light area”. Therefore, I can

find peace and mindfulness a personal relationship with Jesus Christ my Lord.

How do I implement my tools to feel safe today?

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“Good Friday?” Blog #168

So many parts to being alive are really hard, right?

How do I manage another day with more stuff thrown at me?

Where is my internal “reset button” to help me find HIS truth?

Here we are at Good Friday, 2025 and so much has happened going into the end of April.

Already a third of the year behind us now. I look at the people in my own life who surround

me. So many different paths they are on and so many trials and tribulations they

encounter. Some have small annoyances, daily issues to deal with. Others around me

have real loss. They have lost loved ones close to them. Others have serious health issues

taking center stage. Still others have money and debt troubles eating up their day. These

are real life struggles.

So on this Friday, “Why IS this called Good Friday?”

For Christians all over the world - The name “Good Friday” has its roots in Middle English.

This is where “good” once meant holy or sacred. Historically, this day has been observed

by Christians as a solemn occasion of the crucifixion of Jesus Christ”. (orbcfamily.org)

Yet, my takeaway on Good Friday, goes much deeper. This was the last day a real man,

Jesus, lived. Prior to this day HE had spent the early part of his thirties with his disciples.

These carefully chosen disciples were his “fierce friends”. For more than three years they

traveled, spent all their time, and stayed with Jesus. These disciples watched as Jesus

filled their boats with fish overflowing. This, after days and nights of trying to catch fish,

they caught nothing on their own. The disciples attended a wedding with Jesus where he

turned barrels of water into the best wine anyone could drink. They saw Jesus open the

eyes to sight of a man born blind thirty eight years from his birth! The disciples watched in

amazement, a man possessed with demon spirits, shook violently and then was instantly

healed by Jesus! These same disciples saw men with leprosy, beg to be healed. Jesus

reached out his hand and touched them, they were whole and healthy. Then Jesus went

on to speak to five thousand people who gathered to listen to HIM. At the end of the day,

the disciples said there was no way to feed five thousand people out in the country with no

stores! Jesus saw a young boy nearby who had five loaves of bread and two fish. HE

thanked God for increasing this food to supply all the people there. At the end of their

meal, twelve baskets full of bread were left over! More unbelievable miracles were to be

performed. Jesus healed sick people on the verge of death. HE brought them back to life.

One of his last miracles was simply profound. Jesus had been away with his disciples to

another town. Someone came and said, his dearest friend, Lazarus was near death. By

the time Jesus got to Lazarus and his family, Lazarus had been dead for days! When Jesus

got to Lazarus tomb HE cried. The disciples saw how much he loved his friend who had

died. THEN Jesus told his disciples to roll away the stone to the cave. Jesus called out to

Lazarus to come out. Completely bandaged, Lazarus walked out of the cave alive and well

again! All this happened just days before Jesus died.

What kind of a man like this has any evil in him? Why would HE deserve to be nailed to a

cross and die? HE loved everyone. Jesus told his disciples and followers,

God is Love.

The Father and I are one.

SO Jesus IS GOD Almighty.

Watching all these miracles occur, still the disciples abandoned him and ran to hide in

their own homes! One of his closest disciples, Peter, went on to deny even knowing HIM

three times just before Jesus died on Good Friday. Thomas went on to “doubt” Jesus

would ever rise from the dead. The loving, wonderful supportive crowd that laid Palm

branches down for JESUS days before, now turned on HIM saying “crucify HIM, crucify HIM”

W H Y? Because they listened to lies. People were afraid of what they did not know or

understand. Leaders at that time felt it was far better to crucify “ONE MAN” who developed

a large following. Why kill thousands later, in a civil war who were followers of Jesus? So

Jesus was arrested. Hung on a cross to die. What? You might say, WHY didn’t HE save

himself? Jesus had to stay in human form to prove his humanity could overcome pain

and suffering for us. Then, rising from the dead, Jesus proved HE is God Almighty. No one

Found HIS body in the Tomb! An Angel remained to speak to Mary.

What does it take to truly make me a believer in Jesus?

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“Let it Go…!” Blog #167

Can’t stop thinking about all those things that hurt me?

So hard to leave it alone, because it wasn’t my fault?

Don’t even know how to “let it go” when there’s so much baggage?

Every day of our lives is made up of past joy or past pain. Everywhere we look back into the

cobwebs of our mind is fault or joy. There is no in between. There is no one that is able to

just satisfy our past with a statement, gift or action that can undo the past. So why do we

keep it so important in any part of our thinking?

The reason is simple. It’s easy. It’s easy to feel sorry for ourself. It’s easy to justify. It’s easy

to let our own mind take us up and over and out of the past by rationalizing a thousand

reasons why it could “never be any different”.

The strangest part to all our understanding of our own life is this: When someone close to

us is gone now, life takes on a different feel. Blame, resentment and worry toward other

people don’t just disappear. Intrusive thoughts invade our thinking, float around until

something happens.

I truly believe we ask to be born into the family we are given to learn valuable lessons.

Every single person has something to over come. Regardless of how much we may be

wounded in the family we come from, we walk away with powerful, painful growth - IF WE

ALLOW OURSELVES TO GROW. In the materialistic, secular, imperfect society we live in, inner

growth is difficult IF we choose to hang our hearts on “crutches”. What do I mean by

“crutches?” So often a person does not want to “feel any pain”. So ….. they take something

to stay numb to all of that pain. Where does it go?

Ironically, “inner pain does not leave until it is dealt with”. So that being said, what does

using a “crutch” do? It becomes a band aid! We only band aid the parts of our life that we

do not want to deal with NOW.

When we were young children living with our parents, they had an obligation to raise us

with love, support and in a safe home. However, so often many parents incite fear, not

courage. They instill guilt not confidence. They bring sadness not joy. That being said,

these in itself are “powerful lessons to learn from”. If we can “let go” the blame. IF we can

“let go” the guilt. (I should have done this or I should have done that.). None of it matters

when we decide to “Let it go”. Telling ourself we did the best job we could with the tools we

had at the time, and there is not more to add to it, period. This is a good place to bring in

my own “crutch” now. I have replaced all the outside superficial, day to day crutches that I

was leaning on. None of them ever worked anyway! Just knowing that instantly I can pray

for strength, courage and the ability to truly “let it all go” is a miraculous feeling of calm.

Jesus is here with me.

He tells me quietly but firmly; “I AM THE DOOR, KNOCK AND THE DOOR WILL OPEN”. I am at

peace.

Can I finally believe in Jesus and Let it all Go now…..”

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“I Forgive You” Blog #166

Why should it matter whether I forgive someone or not?

What emotional baggage do I carry, day in and day out?

Is it too late to forgive someone, even if they are gone?

There are so many things happening to us in life that truly appear to be unfair. No matter

how dire a situation may be, there is always an opportunity for forgiveness. I am going

share some true stories with you now.

On August 9, 1945 Nagasaki, Japan experienced an atom bomb that dropped on their city

at 11:00 in the morning. Over 73,800 men, women and children were instantly killed and

vaporized. Those that survived were horrifically burned. Takashi was a doctor who was

asked to give a memorial speech to all the people who were left. How could our God allow

such a devastating event to happen? How could this horror be justified? All the people

who were left there, stood in the midst of the rubble of their destroyed city, quietly listening.

They were limping, bandaged, grief stricken people waiting to hear his words. Wanting

words that could bring a sense of understanding how to reason truth out of all this

madness. Takashi said this, “Our city, our beautiful city, had to be sacrificed so millions of

people can now be saved. Through this sacrifice people all over the world and throughout

Japan are now free.”

When a person believes in God, it becomes necessary to look at the bigger picture.

Over and above personal pain, when we let go of the anger, the resentment and the

blame - peace comes quietly inside our being.

After the World Trade Center killings, thousands of people died needlessly on a beautiful,

sunny September 11th morning in New York City. The anger and the outrage and the

sadness that was left because terrorists chose to do this was unthinkable. One year later a

group called “Murdered Victims Families for Reconciliation” were contacted by the mother

of the alleged 20th hijacker, Zacharias Mousaoui (who has been held in solitary

confinement in Northern Virginia since the attacks). His mother had an unusual request for

the families. She wanted to meet some of the families of the victims and ask for their

forgiveness. A small group agreed to meet Madame al-Wafi in New York City in November

of 2002. The first person to walk down the hall to meet Madame al-Wafi was a mother

whose young son was killed in the World Trade Center. There was silence and then one

could hear a lot of sobbing. Finally both mothers came into the room where the others

had been waiting. Both mothers were crying very hard, yet both women had their arms

around each other. Suddenly, everyone in the room also began to cry. Madame al-Wafi

spent three hours sharing how the extremist group had given her mentally ill son a

purpose in life. One of the young men in the room said he wanted to send a message to

Zacharius Mousaoui in prison and say, ” you can hate me and hate my brother you killed in

the World Trade Center bombings, but I want you to know today, I loved your mother and

comforted her when she was crying.” This young man went on to share he believes there

is a spiritual supremacy above us all. He now refuses to buy into hatred, rather

agreeing to give himself permission to reconcile.

Lastly, I speak for myself. Remembering all the hatred and anger and sadness I carried

with me. There was a darkness, a heavy lead weight sitting on my shoulders after my own

mother was murdered by the drug addict. Such anger I had. However, it was not until l

prayed. I prayed for the courage to do the right thing. I was so tired of all the dark forces

consuming me. Then it all changed. I got permission from the head of the state hospital

where this man was incarcerated, for me to come there. I then asked the guards to please

let me see him briefly. When he was brought into the room, I looked into his eyes speaking

quietly I said, “I forgive you, I forgive you for what you did and I don’t hate you any

longer”. As I walked out of the institution, I suddenly felt a remarkable feeling of lightness.

It was as if at that moment a huge weight I had been carrying on my shoulders, instantly

left. Taking a deep breath, I saw it was snowing. Beautiful white flakes of snow. Above all I

was at peace. I then remembered immediately Jesus, after being tortured and whipped

and stabbed, with a crown of thorns digging into his scalp. HE lifts his head to the heavens

above and speaks. “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Can I find forgiveness in my heart today for someone who needs it?

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“The Closed Door” Blog #165

What if all could be different and I felt really good today?

Why haven’t a variety of things I tried taken away my darkness?

When will I finally be able to say I am completely at peace?

Lent is about suffering, so I share a part of my suffering now. I remember the sunniest day

there could ever be created and not a cloud in the sky. Everything was perfect around me.

But that day, my day was not perfect! My morning filled with horror, confusion and utter

devastation. For this morning I had to deal with my mothers murder the day before. How

could that be? My dedicated, beautiful, loving mother, who only cared about “fixing her

family”. All she ever lived for was her children, husband and working, and working and

more working. Hoping beyond hope, all could turn out differently. But now she had met

the end. She was no more.

She lost her life to a person taking thirty four dollars in her purse, then killing her. Why?

Because he was in a drugged state of mind, an addict who knew no better. She is dead

because of that. Now years upon years later, he also is dead.

However, here am I looking back, remembering it all. The crystal clear picture and how it

all took place. I remember the sobering, scary, unreal feeling of just wanting to run away

and hide. Get away from it all. Drinking as many vodka tonics as I could, and asking over

and over again, “why did this have to happen?” Then weeks and months and years

later….the inner suffering, the denial, feeling there was but a shell left of the real me. Most of

all the unhinged, inescapable reality of what lie ahead of me now. Yet, somehow

regardless of how bad things get and how much is thrown at us, most of us try to come

back. So I kept on moving forward with whatever it would take. More and more drinks,

more random people to confide in, and more places to run to until it didn’t work anymore..

Until I sensed inside me, there is no escaping self. Until finally everything got too confusing

and nothing working. Above all, so much loneliness. So alone. Looking and searching and

finding more of the same. The same artificial stimulants that were “never really my friend”.

Never REALLY there for me when I awoke each morning, so many more feelings of isolated

loneliness.. SILENTLY, SCREAMING SO LOUD I WAS SURE OTHERS COULD HERE ME ……PLEADING….

CRYING…“WHY ME? WHY DID ALL THIS TRAGEDY HAPPEN TO ME?” WHAT DID I DO THAT WAS SO

WRONG? Waiting and Waiting, yet nothing but complete silence.

As I look back today, I see very clearly it was in the midst of my utter darkness. Trying

desperately to quiet my mind, so tired of listening to rambling words of nought. I

rationalized better to be In a complete void of nothingness. Not really believing and not

really “not wanting to not believe”, that’s when it happened.

EVERYTHING CHANGED IN A BREATH.

My indifference, my anger, my workaholic behavior, all gone. Trying with all my might to

stay in my own “silly game” if you will. Convinced I knew what was best for me because

after all, I had been through Hell and back and was still here wasn’t I? So I had earned the

right to fill up my life with all this mundane, superficial secular “stuff”.

At the end of the day, life never works the way we want it to. We can never run away. I

could never really run away from myself. There was no where to go. My filled up, full of

garbage, feeding-frenzied mind would not leave me alone for a minute!

SO THEREIN LIES THE RUB.

I had to give in. Had to accept there was “One more door” I could possibly go through.

Desperately praying for peace, could I try one more time?

We are only as sick as our secrets.

I could try and it was as simple as that. Quietly a butterfly lands near by….no noise, but

beautifully noticeable. Then a subtle soft breeze touches my face, so cooling at the end of

my blistering sun scorched day. Hot tears roll down cheeks that instantly feel a peace, and

a promise. Suddenly I witness a rainbow out of nowhere paints the sky in vibrant pinks and

purples and gold. I quietly hear HIS words inside my head as Jesus softly speaks.

“Knock and the door will open”. “I AM the Door”

Can I believe HE is the door, healing my life now?

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“Health Addict?” Blog #164

How do I look at my own health in what I think, eat and do?

Can I remove limits especially on my attitude toward myself?

Will I remember “I only have 24 hours in this day” to do it right?

Currently, there are places in the U.S. and the world where people live long, healthy and

happy lives. This is a choice each one of us have daily.

EACH OF US CAN CHOOSE TO THINK, EAT AND LIVE A WHOLESOME, GOOD, LOVING LIFE.

People who strives to think, eat and live healthy are content, disciplined and happy. I

KNOW I need prayer in my own life to heal my spirit. Therefore I pray daily. I UNDERSTAND I

must let go of my anger, resentment and fear. I forgive others who have hurt me.

Instantly, I am healing my mind. All my thoughts are now centered on GOODNESS. The

food part always remains hard. There are a myriad of temptations out there and

rationalizing and justifying “why I can or can’t eat this food” is frustrating to say the least.

So…that being said I settle on this. The food I put into my body MUST be healthy. So I forego

those candy bars, avoid soda beverages and greasy, fried, foods. Desserts are rare. I eat

a variety of homemade soups and lots of salads with fresh greens, avocado, hard boiled

“free range eggs”, and tomatoes. I also eat fish and all kinds of vegetables and brown rice.

Always realize needing fiber and protein for my energy daily, so more grains and legumes.

I love all kinds of potatoes, nuts and sun flower seeds especially. (No peanuts) I enjoy

tangerines, apples, bananas and oranges. Cauliflower crusted veg. pizzas, bean burritos

and hummus and pita chips. A wonderful probiotic drink: “Kombucha” comes in many

flavors. I love pomegranate. This offers lots of variety to stay strong and healthy daily. So

one might say, B O R I N G! How can someone NOT have junk food and a few drinks to relax

each day? I say this…. Discipline is just that. WE ARE WHAT WE EAT DAILY. EXERCISE

BLOWS AWAY STRESS.

Did you know this? Thousands of the most notorious chemicals in food are now largely

banned in Europe? The European Environmental Bureau (EEB) welcomed this move!

these laws banned chemicals from foods that cause cancer. They found that 12,000

chemicals they banned DO cause cancer!

Their main food additives were found to be in bread, baked goods and candy are STILL

found to be in the food in the United States of America. Especially because 99% of the

food additives we put in our food here, are NOT evaluated before they are put into the

products. (Food Safety” by Becky Upham 3/6/2025.) We now live in a day and age where

each one of us, MUST be responsible for finding out what is good and not good that we

decide to put into our bodies daily! I use to get terrible heartburn when I ate sweet donuts

and sweet breads. Instead of buying “heartburn medicines”, I decided to just cut these

foods out of my diet - GUESS WHAT? The heartburn disappeared!

Why not be a Health Addict when it comes to eating, living an thinking holistically daily? I

refuse to think or feel or act in an angry way - I start now for 24 hours.

In a few simple words, I cannot convince another person to stop what they are doing. To

think a different way or even to start eating different foods. I can only share, share what

works for me and what did not. I do not eat any meat. I believe, there are far too many

carcinogens in meat, so I avoid meat completely. I don’t drink milk. There great

alternatives (oak milk, rice dream, etc.). I stay away from processed and dyed foods trying

to remember that every piece of food that goes into my body, must go somewhere and

how and when does it come out? I DO NOT SMOKE OR DRINK ALCOHOL.

When I pray, I talk to God, and when I meditate (sit in silence) I become a good listener.

When I put healthy food in my body, I relax. Eating good today, lasts through tomorrow.

Probably the best most credible way I have found to be addicted to a healthy life is this: I

must have balance in my day starting the moment I wake up, so I pray. I pray for

discipline, detachment and discernment. HE helps me bring in the balance now. Then

my day begins and I must choose wisely….. Do I get diverted because of another

persons lower thinking or do I stay on course for my “highest good” ?

I know this - my good health depends only “on my own choices”. Hopefully now, I am

ready to listen and see what it takes to live a healthy life. A life that will change me in a

positive, peace-filled, profound way. There is nothing but good to come from this!

Can I make that decision now to be addicted only to God and Good Health?

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“Sick Noise?” Blog #163

DO I have courage to start today in complete silence and prayer?

CAN I meet people “where they are at” and give help if they ask?

IS noise around me clouding my thinking and blocking out truth?

Everything in my life is a noisy test to see “which road” I will go down today. When I woke

up this morning I knew immediately, today IS the ninth day of Lent. God, it is hard….how in

the world did HE do it for forty days and nights….no food? Right away the noise from my

thoughts and feelings and fears creep in. Should I quick get up and ignore the need to

pray first? Discipline wins out today!

Last week I made a promise to myself what to give up and said I would try to keep it. Very

hard at first, but one never knows how weak one is until trying to be very strong. Now each

day I get stronger. I feel more disciplined. I feel better about me. I am far from perfect, so

when I start to give in, I think of the “5 Second Rule”. The simple science in this rule is this,

the less time I give my brain to think about “what I am giving up”, the better. I quickly go do

something else that needs my attention. I start over. I can apply this rule to anything in

my life that bothers me; that I want to STOP. It’s amazing how my Guardian Angel nudges

me when I forget. It’s very interesting in the way people around me view Lent. For the most

part, they DON’T. People actually rationalizing this way, “Well, I’m just not into it…”. Let me

remind you, God is greater, stronger and wiser than any of us. When HE needs my

attention, W H A M….. something will happen quickly. I promise you this.

We are not meant to be on earth to JUST THINK ABOUT OUR OWN NEEDS AND WANTS AND

WORRIES. I have found this to be extremely self-serving, isolating and lonely! Vicious

circles of old past memories, try to hold me down, sabotage me, I say good bye to this old

garbage. The constant noise crisis around me is difficult to say the least. Where isn’t there

noise? Besides, the older one gets, the more settled in certain routines one becomes.

Some good, some bad. None easy to disrupt. Constant thought, noise, worries spinning

around inside my head are not easy to silence. Where and when and how to turn off the

sick noise and INVITE HIM IN?

I am reading a fascinating book during Lent called “The Screwtape Letters”, written by C.

S. Lewis. The book is captivating for the most part because of the plot. This story is all

about the Devil named Screwtape, and his young nephew, Wormwood. He instructs his

nephew to take a deliberate role in a mans Christian life and faith by sabotaging his

beliefs. With his nephew Wormwoods help, they persist in ushering him into going to Hell.

The greatest weapon “Screwtape”, aka Satan, possesses is, NOISE, noise inside a persons

head. Screwtape has a myriad of other weapons he instructs Wormwood to use carefully

as well. Screwtape calls the young, Christian man, “the patient”. Then in thirty one sinister

letters to Wormwood, Screwtape shows his diabolical face and severe attempts to

persuade and bring this Christian man down. Screwtape tells Wormwood to use every

trick imaginable. The book is a fascinating read because the main character Screwtape,

portrays so many of Satan’s subtle ways leading well in to today.

In Letter XII, Screwtape remarks: “……the safest road to hell is the gradual one - the gentle

slope, soft underfoot without sudden turns, without milestones…”. Screwtape gives

Wormwood very effective strategies for tempting a human life from the view point of an

experienced Devil. Finally the most genuinely thought provoking part of this entire read,

concerns not just the book but its author. The author has so much credibility and has

written too many famous books to note here. However, C. S. Lewis was a brilliant educated

British man BUT a complete Agnostic, until….

Living in a permissive, noisy, secular society, life becomes all about me. I Look around.

When something catastrophic happens, one attempt to search internally. Are words of

mine healing or hurtful? Those who read my words on this Blog site are obviously looking

for deeper meaning to life. I only share what I have learned coming from horrific pain,

sadness and complete loss. Where there is no self-denial there is no VIRTUE.

Secular noise is a dark distraction. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t know Jesus.

Can I pray for courage to take part in Lent today?

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"Guarded Words?” Blog #162

What good words do I tell myself this morning when I wake up?

Is my day unfolding with powerful affirmations inside myself?

Do I lash out at others, or hold my temper, guarding my words carefully?

I write my Blog today at the the beginning of Lent. Today is Ash Wednesday. Now for the

next 40 days and 40 nights a disciplined man named Jesus went out into the desert and

fasted, prayed and learned about HIMSELF overcoming darkness. HE knew what was

ahead of HIM. Having to prepare himself, while suffering before death, HE could not use

any of HIS divine powers. So the 40 days were critical to Jesus discipline. For what was in

store for him was horrifying, to say the least.

All through the years, I have felt it was “just enough” if I gave up candy and sweets. After

all, there has to be something fun to eat, to look forward to each day - right? Well, I am

realizing that type of sacrifice for me is just not enough IF I really want to grow internally,

learn about myself and understand the importance of discipline. I understand things

between our Lord and our self is private. I only share this one time on my Blog to help

anyone out there who may want to see my sample routine. So starting this Lent I give up

things that are comforting habits each day.

What have I decided to give up?

Well, I love to wake up and have a warm blueberry muffin or toast or cranberry muffin or

bagel or donut to go with a large hot green tea with steamed oat milk. I will try to replace

this for the next 40 days with water. I will drink plain, purified water. I will also Fast on

Wednesday and on Friday.* (the exception b/c of my age - I will add fruit juices . Also add

a grapefruit, orange and an apple later in the day). I will limit my watch of television, being

on my phone, computer to I hour a day. I will pray in the morning and pray in the evening

before I go to bed to guard my words. I will take good care of my body, walking outside

exercise and affirmations daily. Now I understand 40 days and 40 nights is a long time

when it comes to radical change, so I will update on my Blog Weekly with complete

honesty.

I want to share the definition of ACCOUNTABILITY.

“ACCOUNTABILITY IS THE PROCESS OF TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY BEHAVIOR & FOR

THE IMPACT OF THAT BEHAVIOR ON SELF AND OTHERS. MAKING A COMMITMENT TO TELL

THE TRUTH ABOUT MYSELF TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY. THIS REQUIRES I SUPPLY THE FACTS

ABOUT WHAT I HAVE DONE, THOUGHT AND FELT IN ANY GIVEN SITUATION. I TAKE

RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY WORDS AND THE IMPACT ON OTHERS. I MAKE AMENDS, CORRECT

A WRONG AND TREAT MYSELF AND OTHERS WITH INTEGRITY, UNDERSTANDING AND

FORGIVENESS.”

It’s important to realize that “No man or no woman, knows how bad he or she is until one

has tried very hard to be good. A person does not know strength of evil temptation

inside the body until one tries very hard to fight it! Yet, when the body is weak and wants to

give in, Jesus knows what it takes to supply us in EVERY struggle. So how can we find out

how strong we are against the darkness until we really try?

I want to understand, know and feel more discipline in my own life, starting today. Then

God-willing, at the end of forty days and forty nights I can truly say I learned so much more

about myself without giving myself excuses not to try. How else can I ever have the

courage of my convictions unless I put myself to the TEST?

Once I put my words out there, into the atmosphere, everyone can read what I have

promised myself I will do. These words are important. My words are guarded and guided

and given to me to share today with the awareness anyone can have discipline over self.

It is just a matter of making the decision to do it and start today. Next week I will share my

struggling truth about fasting and giving up, what I am used to indulging on a Daily Basis

and how this affects my relationship with others.

Stay tuned ….each day with be interesting to say the least……

I pass the challenge on, what are YOU ready to give-up for Lent?

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“Fear-Filled Me?” Blog # 161

What is the biggest thing I fear today….right now?

Am I scared of something I have no control over?

How can I let go of the things I fear the most?

There are really two kinds of people as far as I am concerned, who either look at fear as

something they can deal with or something that keeps them captured day and night. I

am one of those people in the first category. I think of myself as a realist. At the same

time, I understand there will always be things that can frighten me if I allow it. I am not a

fan of snakes or rodents. I am not one who goes for long walks at night in the dark alone

and I am never one to watch scary movies. Those things can be considered obvious.

However, I am talking more about the unseen, unspoken not talked about fear.

What kind of fear could I be suggesting? The fear that deals with toxic emotions. Fear of

failure. Fear of the unknown. Fear of someone else’s wrath. There are many other side

bars to this fear because it is runs deep. I also believe fear expresses itself in so many of

us with extreme anger. When I feel I cannot succeed at something, or someone has let me

down, or better still someone has created a wedge between us because of their actions,

all kinds of feelings swell inside of me.

My fear can turn to anger. My anger can turn to resentment. My resentment can cause

inner feelings of intense sadness. All these emotions are fear-based feelings of losing

control over my own decision making!

At this point - I have to STOP and ask myself the following questions. Am I looking at “what

happened” to bring fear into my life, with a healthy attitude? Am I discouraged by what

someone else has done, or said or acted toward me to give me the impression I can’t do

anything about this?

HERE IN LIES THE RUB. I AM IN COMPLETE CONTROL OF WHO I AM. I AM INTERNALLY AND

EXTERNALLY IN COMPLETE CONTROL OF HOW I THINK. NO OTHER PERSON CAN DISRUPT MY

INNER CALM OR MY HIGHER SELF IDEA OF WHO I AM. SO TRUTH IS TRUTH. WHO AM I?

I AM A CHILD OF GOD. Therefore I am protected, watched over and loved 24/7.

Someone once told me, “Be careful what you fear because fear multiplies”. I often

wondered what that meant? As I have grown older, I believe people can get more

paranoid, more fearful and more dependent on external forces around them. Why do I

say this? I say this because NO ONE SHOULD DEPEND ON ANYONE ELSE FIRST BEFORE Jesus

Christ OUR LORD. If I have a partner in life, he/or she should be my equal. No other person

has the right to control anyone else. We must remember the Golden Rule: “Do unto others

as you would have them do unto you”.

HAPPENINGS in my life day to day, can either uplift me or discourage me.

NO other place to cast blame, if my life is not bringing me peace of mind except INSIDE ME.

If I want peace and tranquility - I have to search inside me and ask ME “Do I feel calm or

restless? What am I doing to “face my fear head-on?” We all have methods of band

aiding our lives. Places to go internally and externally to avoid dealing with “the darkness”

However, the best answer for me all along regarding my fear - FACE IT HEAD ON. More

often than not, its like the big, bad “boogie man” of an illusion hiding under my bed - I just

jump out of my bed and quickly look under there with a flashlight…….and nothing there!

Why use this example? Because fear inside the mind knows what its initials stand for -

F E A R. FALSE EVENTS APPEARING REAL.

I do need to add my biggest Ally against “Fear” over all…….. Jesus Christ. If I think of fearful

things wallowing around in deep darkness. I KNOW TRUTH IS TRUTH. Jesus Christ is the

light of the world. The moment my thoughts and beliefs and feelings focus on HIM….

darkness fades away. Jesus Christ walks with me, HE holds my hand and little by little my

faith takes over.

Can I face my fear head-on today with HIM by my side?

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Mental Crisis Now?” Blog #160

Do I feel mentally crippled from my latest set back?

Why can’t I keep using the higher inner self tools I need?

Where can I find courage to navigate my day now?

We have a Spiritual and a Mental Crisis in America today now. More people than we know,

embrace an Atheistic-Humanism belief system, a belief without God. A while back in

September of 2024, there was a ground breaking study done by Dr. George Barna. He is

the Director of Research with the Cultural Research Center at Arizona Christian University.

He presented a chilling possibility saying, “hundreds upon thousands of Americans are

spending tens of millions of dollars investing in drugs for mental health solutions that are

treating the wrong problem”. He presented compelling evidence that “many mental

health struggles, including anxiety, depression and fear could stem from worldwide Biblical

deficiencies rather than psychological or chemical imbalances.” He said granted, “some

mental health issues are undoubtedly biological and require professional treatment”.

However, Barna states that ”his studies highlight a startling connection between mental

health and possessing a Biblical worldview. There is a strong inverse correlation between a

lack of Biblical beliefs and frequent mental health issues.”

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? … This amazing veteran researcher believes he has studied people

around the world who are filled with fear, anxiety and depression. America is faced with an

alarming rise of great mental health issues! However, here is the kick, Barna believes the

current mental health treatments are MISSING THE LIKELY CAUSE OF MENTAL HEALTH

CRISIS. Here are the consequences of people worldwide. Dr. Barna believes “his research

shows adults who possess a Biblical worldview (a belief in God) are significantly LESS LIKELY

TO EXPERIENCE MENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLES”. These people tend to enjoy more fulfilling

relationships, a clearer sense of purpose and greater resilience in the face of life’s

challenges”. Dr. Barna went on to say, “People with a Biblical worldview (an understanding

that God is here for them) have greater joy, peace and fulfillment. because their lives align

with Gods design”. His report went on to state that one in three young people have

problems with some type of mental illness. Interestingly enough, one of the biggest

problems are anxiety disorders and substance abuse. Alcohol, drug addiction and severe

anxiety disorders are rampant. (There is a whole separate analysis on these addictions)

Dr. Barna says, “It is not uncommon to find young adults trusting feelings over facts,

seeing no real purpose to life and reject any existence of the Biblical God. Add to this, no

real purpose or meaning to life for them.” So most people have a lifestyle that is

inconsistent, lacks hope and is filled with fear”. His report went on to state that more then

ONE DOZEN commonly held belief systems with people today fuel their fear. People reject

moral truth, and rely on their own guidance rather than a belief in God’s existence. THIS IS A

VERY EMPTY FEELING INDEED. Without God = No purpose to life.

WHEN GOD COMES INTO MY HEART = I FEEL SAFE, PROTECTED WITH PURPOSE.

The worst part of fear is that it mushrooms, it grows until it is out of control. How long can

artificial means help inner darkness? I have said it so many times before when I shared

my own back story and talked about my inner struggles with overwhelming tragedy. Yet, I

am not now nor can I ever be, prepared for “the unexpected”. I have put in place strong,

daily inner faith in tact and solid. So therefore, I can state confidently, regardless of my

outer world struggles, inside me, (because of daily discipline) my faith is secure. I stay

spiritually connected, strong and I feel safe. I never stop praying in the morning and in the

evening. Often during the day I keep it simple, yet hear myself saying, “Thank you for

Helping me Jesus,”

Can I let go of my fear and bring forth faith in Jesus Christ?

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“Sick of Stuck?” Blog #159

Do I personally feel respected in all parts of my life?

Am I honest, kind and loving to people that matter?

Did I do something that makes me feel good about myself today?

“Keep on doing the same things, and the same things keep happening”.

Life doesn’t come with an Owners Manual. To complicate my life even more is to know that

I am given “Free Will”, even though HE is waiting to lead me in every facet of my life. Then

the Ego (the little Lower Self) creeps in and complicates it even more by crushing my

confidence and making me depend on Lower Self thinking. I need to find a way, today, to

get my “Higher Self” back and at the helm of ME always.

A most sacred thing in life, is the Freedom to choose what I want to be. So when I choose

wisely, (I might pick up the book: “Inner Excellence” and read it carefully), it’s so worthy in

me to try higher self things to do. It makes me lock in to inner Happiness. I choose healthy

friends to make me feel good about myself. This starts me off in the right direction. I am

not stuck in any way today when I know I have a new day to start over with. I begin to feel

inside of me a stirring of new, vital energy, knowing I have this “new higher choice” and

fresh start. I say to myself over and over, “just keep going……just keep going and don’t

look back”. I am determined to use every experience - the good , the bad, the hard, the

easy, the happy and the sad. I process it and soak it in. THEN I learn from it. I must admit

to myself once and for all I am definitely sick of being stuck in a rut.

Only I know when I PUSH myself UP to be better or do I just decide to settle. Maybe it’s a

relationship, a job, or school or silly things I shove into filling hours of my day. Maybe I

rationalize ways to sit on the computer or my phone for hours and hours.

It’s never the answer “to just settle”settling for what I don’t want? Maybe just for today,

I can decide to PUSH ME HIGHER. Say the right, healthy words inside of ME - so important. (I

AM strong - I AM courageous - I AM disciplined)

Try to overcome a “silly fear” maybe I’ve carried this with me for so long, I forgot why I am

afraid. So now I try hard to make “me” feel better about myself even in the littlest way. I

START BY DOING SOMETHING KIND FOR SOMEONE ELSE. I TAKE OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS OUT AND

OFF OF ME. I AM CHOOSING TO DO SOMETHING KIND FOR SOMEONE ELSE NOW. Suddenly, my

life fills up with meaning. I NOW FEEL UNSELFISH. LIVING LIFE w/INNER LOVE.

HOW do I RESPECT MYSELF? It starts internally …. way down deep. I SEE my own self worth.

What is the gauge? IF I don’t feel good about “me”, I have to start over now. Otherwise, all

my life I will feel uncomfortable. I will sense something is not right. I will intuitively feel

beyond the shadow of a doubt - I short-changed myself, period.

A famous writer and a woman who ran for President this year, wrote an amazing book. It’s

by Mary Ann Williamson. She states this, “our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. For it is our light, not our

darkness that most frightens us…”

DID I LISTEN TO AND HEAR THOSE LAST WORDS?

“IT IS OUR LIGHT AND NOT OUR DARKNESS THAT MOST FRIGHTENS US!”

WOW. I TAKE THIS ALL IN AND THEN REMEMBER MY GREATEST ADVOCATE IS HERE NOW,

THE Holy Spirit OF OUR LORD Jesus Christ WAITING TO HELP ME 24/7 DAYS A WEEK. No

more sick of being stuck. I am filled with the Holy Spirit and start living my highest life

today.

Can I get out of my sick, stuck rut and start new now?

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“No Addictions?” Blog #158

Is it imperative for me to learn to heal myself?

Are my thoughts repetitively dark deep down inside of me?

Do addictions hide inside me, trying to control who I am?

There is a saying out there that “it takes 30 days of practice to change my cravings for my

old addictions”. I decided to do this one day at a time. Believe me, IT WORKS! I started this

“Plan of Action” by eliminating and avoiding the THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL BAD. Smoking

and drinking and drugs …. GONE. Fried, greasy food …. GONE. Soft drinks REPLACED WITH

LOTS OF WATER ALL DAY.

The recipe in life to healthy living is NOT that hard. Too many calories = obesity. Too much

sugar = diabetes and tooth decay. Too much fat = heart disease and cancer. Too much

alcohol cancer and too much meat = prostrate cancer. These are just a few. But I noticed

when I DON’T get up and eat something in the morning that is good for me, I have less

energy, I am cranky and I can’t focus as well. PLUS the Immune System is supported more

strongly with large doses of love, laughter and exercise.

So let’s get to the Addiction part….so many types of Addictions that people have no idea

about. There is worry addition. Worry about something morning, noon and night . How do I

face this day? My life its filled with fear. I have headaches all the time, I need this pill or

that pill to focus. At the end of the day - exhausting. One doctor I read about said, “keep

the body and the mind and the spirit BUSY”. Stay interested daily. Find a good book and

then find another. Keep a couple books going at once. Addictions to anything at all can

be consuming.

How to tell if I feel addicted to something? IF I DESIRE SOMETHING ENOUGH TO LET IT

CONSUME MY THOUGHTS DURING AN ENTIRE DAY, THIS CAN BE AN ADDICTION. Most of us know

there are gambling, gaming, sexual, eating, not-eating, the internet, shopping, drug

addictions, food addictions, and self harm. All addictions are created in our brain. Very

few people understand how powerful our brain truly is. When I decided that I did not, and

could not and WILL NOT abuse myself in any way, I started in a simple fashion. ONE DAY AT

A TIME. I told myself I was NOT addicted to any type of food, drug or behavior because I

AM THE ONE WHO HAS POWER OVER MYSELF. NOTHING CAN HURT ME OR DESTROY ME OR

MAKE ME AFRAID UNLESS I ALLOW IT TO. It is fascinating to find that once I make this

decision, my brain hears that I have set aside my lower self personality in favor of my

higher self spiritual growth! I am on this planet to learn, grow and take part in my own

lessons given to me.

I HAVE GREAT POWER INTERNALLY WHEN I DO NOT GIVE IN TO MY LOWER SELF.

I want to share something with you right now, there are times when life gets dark for me,

there are lots of times when I begin to doubt, times when I cry. YET I LEARNED, this is when I

am most challenged to pick up my tools that I have been given internally. Put my hands

together and say, “Thank you for helping me Jesus - I can’t do it alone”.

I have found the hardest thing about my faith is to have complete TRUST. My belief has

often been likened to a tug of war with Jesus and me. He’s given me this golden life raft

attached to a golden rope. All I have to do? Give him all my struggles and hang on to the

life rope, trusting internally. Yet my human side pulls at it when I use my lower self thinking

that has often tried to trick me into believing I DO IT ALONE.….just keep worrying a little more,

just keep on worrying and stay stuck.

QUICKLY, I catch myself, lifting my thought processes into “higher gear”. I see now, the

addictions are gone. One day at a time I will survive. Most people see life in this order:

Physical - intellectual - emotional - spiritual.

THIS IS WRONG. To have balance in life from addictions we need to rearrange the order of

our life. Therefore my life needs to be:

SPIRITUAL - EMOTIONAL - INTELLECTUAL - PHYSICAL

Why is this? The Spirit feeds the emotion, which balances the intellect, which directs the

physical body to perform one-hundred percent.

Can I let go of my internal addictions and replace them with trust in Jesus Christ?

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“Healthy Hero” Blog #157

It’s just another day….but will I do my life differently?

All my stress, all my sadness and all my fear…..will I give it to HIM?

Just for now - believe what is truth - Now, let HIM help me?

The other day I was pulling out of Starbucks and saw a man at the side of the road. He

looked extremely haggard and I could not even tell his age. He was holding a sign that

said, “I need money for a cheeseburger and a bag of weed”. I looked out my rear view

mirror as the light changed and saw the car behind me. They rolled down their window to

give him money. For the next few hours I struggled with how I felt about the words on his

sign!

Was I mad at what he wrote? Was I just ashamed to admit it? What had things come to

anyway, for this person to be in that situation? What one day turned him into a street

beggar? When I finally figured myself out regarding that situation, I realized this was the

scenario we live with today. He was just blatantly “out there” with his truth of what he

wanted money for. I am willing to bet, he was not always a street beggar. This man had

not always stood on the street corner begging for a cheeseburger and a bag of weed.

When did things turn? Yet, here he was today, and if someone gives him enough money

for these things, will this be his “way of sustaining himself” day in and day out until what?

What IS it that really bothered me about this whole scenario? On so many levels I can say

this person gave up on “Trying in society to make it how?” Maybe at the end of the day,

this is all he really wants. So then, therein lies the rub. I KNOW I want something different. I

want my body to be healthy. I don’t want to put weed into it. I don’t want temporary fixers

to relieve life stressors. I want to feel life. I need to feel and act and live out everything I am

given because it took me ages to figure so many things out. Realizing now, there is NO

ESCAPE FROM LIFE EXCEPT DEATH.

So I can do it the easy way (which I truly do believe is giving it All to Jesus) or I can fight the

internal battle with darkness and never win).

I WANT TO HELP MYSELF HEAL EACH DAY. I WANT TO ACCEPT TODAY’S SADNESS.

My LETTER to myself: “Dear Self, “I want to start healing inside me with healthy information,

healthy food, inspiring music and “honest” people.

I AM READY to clean out the garbage once and for all. NO ONE CARES ENOUGH ABOUT ME AS

MUCH AS I NEED TO CARE ABOUT ME. I want to become my own best friend. I will not judge

others. (Not even the man asking for a cheeseburger and a bag of weed - because there

but for the Grace of God, go I.)

In so many ways, this sounds lonely - but quite often the facts of life are lonely. It’s okay.

There are reasons why we have to incorporate the words courage, fortitude and discipline

into my life. I need to implement these words into my life IF I want to be my own HEALTHY

HERO. Above all, I must remember AGE has nothing to do with it. I can start at any age to

be healthier.

What is courage? Doing something I know I have to do - it is hard - but I do it day after

day. Now its for my best health.

What is fortitude? Enduring what I must do with great courage, for my best health.

What is discipline? The practice of training myself with courage & fortitude to become

my daily habit.

All across the country today, right before Feb. 2025 starts, there are people who have no

home to go home to. These are not people who were destitute or starving or street

people. These people were part of a natural disaster. Floods in North Carolina and fires in

California. Now they have no homes. I point this out because not one single one of us, is

immune from the “Unexpected”. We do not know when or if something is going to happen

to get out attention internally, big-time! I start today with new priorities. I look at life

wanting to heal from the inside out. I want high health. Therefore, I must take responsibility

for myself. I am the only one who knows internally IF I have UNHEALTHY HABITS. As I said

before - I HAVE ONLY TODAY TO WORK WITH.

So, I look in the mirror and say to myself: “Help me Jesus become my own Healthy Hero”..

No more a question, but a promise: I start today with internal discipline all day long.

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

”Recipe Rescue” Blog #156

Right this minute….can I do something positive for myself?

Why do I have to give in to my Lower Self nature now?

Winston Churchill once stated - “Success consists of going from failure to failure without

loss of enthusiasm”.

My story is this, I have had lots of darkness try to take me over. I will never give in to it. I

have had heaps of sadness and death around me also try to cripple me. I’m determined

to stand even taller in its midst. Some days, even now, dark drama, depression and

problems try hard to sneak into my being to seize my energy and fill me with dread. Yet, as

God is my witness, I will not let it in! I remain stronger than ever before. Nothing can shake

my discipline over self to be even more courageous then yesterday. I will use my Recipe

for Today and every day. I feel clear and committed with constant support from my Lord

Jesus Christ. HE is right here waiting for You too.

Every person on earth has their own story. Each of us have something that either pushes

us forward or paralyzes us with fear, and keeps us stuck. No one person is free from pain.

Each and every one of us must experience all parts of “life’s little lessons”.

The secret in life for me is the Recipe I use to come back from all my darkness! So many of

life’s Trouble teachers are “filled with grief”. The grief we feel when we lose anything. I

believe we fly blind with out HIS help. I have said this throughout my Blogs. I believe before

I experienced such darkness, I WAS “flying blind”. I was going through life just “existing” It’s

not what I had, or what I owned, or who I was with, that mattered most. It was my

deliberate desire to create different drama each day. I buried myself in artificial busywork

and things I “thought” were important so I was able to stay ahead of “ME”, my own self.

This is why I believe “mental abuse of ones self” through vaping, drugs and alcohol are

some of the toughest teachers. They are cruel setbacks. They are addictive animals that

crave on a persons soul and keep a person down! These cruel, deceptive, dark reasons for

slowly becoming addicted to outside forces are the reason for letting go and not looking

internally for Higher Self help that is waiting because of FREE WILL. A RECIPE FOR TODAY

and all the internal Light waits with HIS help.

One time I was at a bar and restaurant in Minneapolis. I was having dinner with a friend of

mine who was a highly evolved Soul and a renowned Spiritual Teacher. She set her fork

down and pointed over to the bar saying, “I have been watching that one person over

there, all evening. He has been drinking more and more until now he is cut off, not allowed

to be served any more. I have witnessed so many of these frightening scenes. As he sits

there, I can see dark, burning energy pour down into the top of his head.” Then my friend

turned to me and said, “Remember the old saying - “The Devil made me do it?” This is

literally how the dark energy works. When a person decides to bring drugs and or alcohol

into their being, this is all about FREE WILL - Angels and Higher Self Help are not asked for.

Rather, the DARK FORCES are invited in and get to work, creating havoc with the thinking

processes. And so life goes. Light versus darkness. It is all around us. However, Light

prevails.

Alas, at the end of the day what is the basic Recipe Rescue that keeps me going?

MY RECIPE FOR TODAY

1. I WAKE UP and surround myself in Christs’ Light - I pray.

2. I eat a Healthy Meal for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner.

3. I Get Fresh Air each day - I walk 15 min. one way and back (30 Min. Total)

4. I say Positive Affirmations while I walk (I go thru the alphabet - 10 Each)

5. Whoever or whatever has bothered me - I immediately forgive.

6. I seek out ONLY Healthy relationships for me to to be in.

7. Understanding: I am here for a reason - What is it?

8. Every day I try to Read something Healing, Healthy, Helpful for Me.

9. Every day I am Learning Lessons about myself. - What are they?

10. I AM learning to Laugh at Myself more each day.

    ___________________

    Can I incorporate these recipe rules into my life to help me daily?

    NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Higher Self Help” Blog #155

Why do I keep thinking I have to go it alone?

What is the reason behind this anger at myself?

When will I be ready to replace “lower self thinking with Higher self help?

If I see someone screwing up their life, I can have pity for you, but I can’t fix you. Each and

every one of us have FREE WILL. For what ever reason, regardless of how much I continue to

do things the wrong way, I seem to be afraid to ask for HIS help. It’s almost as if I am

ashamed. Yet internally I know the answer is only HIM.

Often I have said to myself, “I feel like a failure, because I don’t know the answers”. As we

leap into the New Year 2025 - hard to believe we are already two weeks into it. January

should be all about my good health. Resolutions for healing internally.

I need to understand, “Heal the spirit and the mind will grow - heal the mind and the

body will follow”. As usual - it is the hardest to go quietly into my mind. I use this Recipe:

RECIPE FOR STILLNESS WITHIN

I QUIET MY MIND BY QUIETING INNER VOICES WITH DEEP STEADY BREATHING.

I DO NOT TALK TO MYSELF INTERNALLY - I AM LEARNING TO BE STILL AND KNOW.

I DO NOT DWELL ON ANYTHING ELSE AROUND ME TO DISTRACT OR INFLUENCE ME.

I NOW FOCUS ON INNER ‘HIGHER SELF GUIDANCE’ TO STEER ME AWAY FROM

NEGATIVE, SAD, DARK THOUGHTS. WHEN THEY POP UP I QUICKLY SAY,

I AM OKAY, I AM SURROUNDED IN LIGHT, I LIVE IN THE LIGHT OF GOD. I AM FILLED WITH

CHRIST LIGHT.

MY GOAL TODAY - THINK GOOD THOUGHTS, EAT GOOD FOOD AND PRAY OFTEN.

Remembering The Key to Healthy Living is incorporating Higher Self Thought.

Therefore I LET GO OF ALL THINGS IN THE PAST RIGHT UP TO TODAY. THE PAST IS GONE.

YESTERDAY IS GONE FOREVER. I ONLY HAVE TODAY TO FOCUS ON AND FORGIVE OTHERS.

I finally understand the key to Healthy Higher Self Living is getting in touch with my Higher

Self. Therefore, learning each day to quiet my mind and tune out the outside world of

“Senseless noise”. It is not easy to do this. IT IS NOT EASY TO EAT RIGHT. Every person’s life

revolves around food and drink. I’m starting to see how healing Humor is. Therefore, I NEED

TO LEARN TO LAUGH AT MYSELF. LAUGHTER IS HEALING. I Can try to go a bit easier on myself

and see life gets better each day.

So today I will share RULES FOR BEING HUMAN. I have received a body to live with. I may

like it or hate it, but it is mine for the entire period that I am alive on earth. I should want to

bring some good healthy things to it. I AM GIVEN LESSONS TO LEARN FROM. I might as well

look for my higher self to help me go forward. I understand a lesson will be presented to

me in various forms until I have learned it. ONCE I have learned it, I get to go on to the next

lesson. There is no part of life that does NOT include lessons! If am alive, there are lessons

to learn from.

There are NO mistakes. ONLY LESSONS TO LEARN. Growth is a process of trial and error.

The failed experiences are as much a part of my process as the ones that work!

What I make of my life is up to me. I cannot love or hate something about another

person unless it reflects something I love or hate about myself. I have all the tools and

resources I need in life right INSIDE OF ME. WHEN I TAP INTO MY HIGHER SELF life gets easier

So NOW I relax and realize learning lessons will never end - I can trust now in my HIGHER

SELF for essential inner guidance. Jesus Christ shows me HE is here. HE is the greatest

Advocate I can ever imagine having in my corner. I accept HIM now. I understand there is

no one else on this planet like me. I AM FILLED WITH HIS LOVE. Every soul wants to at long

last be found. I CAN finally find my HIGHER SELF and live IN PEACE. I CAN stop imitating and

envying other people. I CAN FINALLY say, ”this time, I have found my path in life at last by

living each day to it fullest with no regret”.

Can I accept my Higher Self is waiting inside for me now?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Anxiety to Peace” Blog #154

Depressed, worried, anxious, can I beat it?

Daily feeling I face impossible situations all alone?

How CAN I turn anxiousness into peace inside me?

In the midst of all my daily struggles how often was I tempted to panic, yet gave way to

artificial means to keep it at bay. My own life looking back, had always been filled with dark

dilemmas. However, in the past few years I have taken to heart the importance of

“balancing my day” so I do not give in to stress, anxiety or panic attacks.

I acknowledge this fact now: God has me solid in the palm of HIS hand.

I DO NOT EXPERIENCE anything I cannot handle. God never gives me more than I can

handle. DAILY I LIVE MY LIFE IN COMPLETE CONFIDENCE I THRIVE IN HIM.

However there is a caveat to all of this: **

** IF I purposefully choose to DO IT ALONE, go my life alone without GOD, IF I deliberately

push the envelope so to speak. Defying all awareness GOD IS HERE TO HELP ME, I am alone,

all alone. I AM ON MY OWN because I DEMAND IT. ATTRACTING THE WRONG SITUATIONS, I

ATTRACT THE WRONG PEOPLE AND NOW WALK DOWN A DARK PATH.

A great rule to remember is this:

EACH AND EVERY PERSON IS GIVEN F R E E W I L L. GOD HELPS ME WHEN I ASK FOR GODS HELP

AND WANT HIS HELP AND PRAY FOR HIM TO BE IN MY DAILY LIFE

Knowing all this, immediately I am at peace. Peace defeats anxiety WHEN I trust HE has my

back. The biggest part of anxiety and stress is living too far ahead of myself. What will

happen tomorrow? what about the next week? What will I do when all else fails? and on

and on…… overthinking gets worse, worry does not stop! Sleep does not occur. Lying in

bed, toss and turn, running from one situation to the next as hours tick slowly by. ONLY

possible to live TODAY. As I look back, I remember a specific time when the build up of all

“my stress” made me go to see a therapist. So many life stressors were causing me to no

longer feel in control of my own emotions. My mother had been killed, a trial was coming

up, my marriage was in shambles. Difficulty going to work, not being able to sleep and

nowhere to turn for money was creating more darkness. Never could I sell enough houses

to pay the debt mounting around me.

I had always been confident my greatest strength was my ability to “sell a house just right

for someone”. Now lately I was second guessing myself and driving down the freeway

wanting to scream. I had never in my life felt this way. Even worse, I was no fan of

medication so going it alone (with the exception of a few drinks at night) was the norm for

me. Now however, I had to do something! My mounting stress each day, constant bills

and more problems … I wanted to just hide out in my bed! As I pulled into a parking space

and walked into this therapists office, I remember thinking “nothing can really help me at

this point, why did I come? I need to just get back to work!” I remember how comfortable

his office was. There’s also an aura about this man, I always believed certain people give

off a powerful light when “they appear very balanced”. This therapist seemed to radiate

just that. I looked around the room. Amazed at how relaxed immediately I felt in this

warm, inviting, safe place. A big mahogany desk with papers in place. An overstuffed, tan

leather chair rocked slowly back and forth, as he sat behind his desk. White hair, a dark

woolen sweater over a button down shirt reflected a soft smile creasing the lips as this

man motioned for me in to sit down. I chose one of the two velour wing back chairs with a

round table in the midst. A bible sat open in the middle of the table.

“So how are you today?” he smiled. Not the least bit intimidating, we started a very real

conversation and I shared a brief history of my painful past. “Stress is a great teacher”, he

said. Then going on to share the ten most stressful things occurring in a persons life that

can push someone over the top. In one way or another, he told me I hit at least five or

more of them. Smiling this wonderful little old man kept talking and I found myself hanging

on his every word. Softly he spoke, “do you find yourself with lingering worry, what might

happen next and anxious at every turn?” I sat quietly nodding my head up and down. He

kept right on speaking and smiling, saying to me, “Well young lady, IF you feel defeated,

YOU ARE!” I cannot help you with your unbelief. I can only help you with your CORE belief. At

your core, YOU WILL discover YOU. Can you accept you are a child of GOD? I smiled and

said I was a Christian at heart, “Well, then,” he said. “We are half way home!” Your anxiety

will now turn to acceptance. HIS will is now in your life. Any force against you seeming

impossible, just see HIM. Just for today. Stay with TODAY. Close your eyes now and give it

ALL TO HIM.”

Taking a deep breath, I did just that. ..quite remarkably that was how it all happened.

CLOSING MY EYES, I HANDED OVER ALL MY ANXIOUS GRIEF TO HIM. Instantly a feeling of relaxed

peace came. The heaviest load was LIFTED! I handled one day at a time……

I go forward because I feel HIS power, sending super natural energy taking away anxiety.

The secret was I found I did NOT have to go alone. Once I was told this was a LIE. I will

never go backwards again. My life changed instantly. JESUS took away the anxiety and

replaced it with the PEACE of GOD that passeth all understanding and safe guards my

heart and my mind and my being forevermore.

Can I let go of anxiety today and bring peace into my life now?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Just Do it?” Blog #153

No matter what I try, do I fall back into the old habits?

How much of my life is artificial information right now?

Where can I possibly gleam new direction - and stay with IT?

So now we have closed the door to the old year 2024. Never to return again. There are so

many of us out here who actually are really glad to be done with this year. I heard a

fascinating fact today, I heard “most Americans now take at least four prescriptions every

single day”. FOUR prescriptions are the norm! Yet, how many of us have sat down and

drawn up a chart of a NEW healthy way I want to start eating? How many of us have

decided to leave a TOXIC RELATIONSHIP now affecting my health?

How many of us can say TODAY IS THE DAY I START OVER FOR 2025?

IF a little magic genie went around the country and closed all the liquor stores and all the

vape and pill stores and shut down the aisles with all food that is processed, that leaves

only the outside aisles to deal with. Then we would have to COOK OUR FOOD FROM

SCRATCH and eat RAW FOOD FROM THE VEGETABLE AISLES. To further my dream, WHEN I GO

HOME THERE ARE NO MORE MURDER MYSTERIES, NO MORE CRIME SHOWS, NO MORE DARK AND

DANGEROUS PROGRAMS TO TRY TO GRAB MY ATTENTION. I THEN fantasize receiving a notice

in the mail saying, “Once a week it is mandatory you meet and greet your neighbor. Find

out how they are doing. Meet their family! Plan a get together and just enjoy each others

company.” Then when going each year for a physical my holistic Health Practitioner now

sits and listens to “the way I live and eat and navigate my day”. Imputing a healthy plan of

action and “Prevention from Disease” If this were so, much fear would be removed from

our daily way of living.

Why can’t I do this? Most of all because LIFE HAS CHANGED COMPLETELY. Most of us no

longer pick up the telephone or CALL someone to see how they are! WE ONLY TEXT EACH

OTHER. NO VOICES ARE HEARD. NO EMOTION IS SHOWN. NO INTEREST. I know in my own life it

appears to be getting busier and busier with mundane stuff. Quality and Love and

understanding all appear to be on back burners with so many relationships ongoing right

now.

How do I fix this? LIVE EACH DAY WITH AN UNDERSTANDING HEART. Why can’t I do It? Life gets

in the way. People push a different direction. It gets cold. Instead of learning how to be

more understanding with any person I may have a disagreement, it is less and less likely I

pick up the phone and just talk. Far more likely I will TEXT. THE COLD OBLITERATED, ‘THIS IS IT”

TEXT.

How many of us have built a wall around our entire life right now? Do I want to believe

living in a shell is good for me? Who EVEN writes letters anymore when I can TEXT…TEXT TO

MY HEARTS CONTENT. NO ONE CAN FEEL, SEE OR HEAR HOW I EXPRESS MYSELF.

This year I want closer relationships with others, others who are authentic. I want to

express myself telling only the truth. I want to have an understanding heart and purposely

NOT judge another human being. WHY CAN’T I JUST DO IT?

I can do this now. I now have tools in place. I now have my best friend; JESUS.

Remembering now, I understand tools are useless IF I DO NOT USE them. So at the forefront

of my day, before I leave my bed I pray, “Help me Jesus”. I am cleansing my thoughts and

taking deep breaths. This always helps me go forward and do “HIS WILL, NOT my will”. In

place now is discipline, discernment and the biggie……DETACHMENT.” I DETACH FROM ALL

THE PEOPLE AND ALL THINGS I CANNOT POSSIBLY FIX. I say to myself; ‘Yes Lord, I can DO IT”

I believe I have help from Jesus today - no more Why Can’t I do it”

I say to myself, “JUST DO IT - START NOW!”

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW