“Highest Health” Blog #86

Am I bogged down with all kinds of peoples’ personal problems around me?

Stressing about every detail of my life, am I caught up in dangerous daily drama?

Why is my inner health so important anyway?

Life happenings make me stronger, IF I let them. There is purpose in everything I do. There

is a lesson in everything that happens to me. However, It’s my character, attitude and

honesty that directs my sail into calm, serene peaceful waters, or do I choose a storm of

stinging, sinking sadness? Have I got healthy friends?

We all know who we are, so many of us, addicted to a “yo yo” lifestyle. Up, down, up down,

we believe and feel this or that can “work” for us, until it does not. When we don’t want to

look at our own life, we jump into fixing somebody else’s life. There is a fascinating book I

have read a while back. The title is; “The Blue Zone”, by Dan Buettner.

A person does not have a long, healthy life just by accident.

The whole point of this book is to focus on a few select areas of the world includes U.S.A

that show people living into their 100’s and just dying peacefully!! Why is that?

One of the most fascinating facts in the book is that all over the world these people

live thousands of miles from each other, yet they have one huge thing in common. They

eat, think and live in a higher health self-mode.

We can all benefit from a good quality of life. It is not enough to live life and just survive, a

higher health attitude is to want to thrive. Dan Buettner went personally and visited each

of these places and met and visited with the people who live there. They look and feel

and act remarkably young into their eighties and nineties. I urge you to read his book. It

was ironic how earlier in my life when I lived with my grandfather, I felt safe around him.

He lived to be almost one-hundred and the day he died was sunny and warm. He went

upstairs after a big healthy breakfast, laid down on top of his bed, and went to sleep

quietly and peacefully. What a beautiful way to leave this earth. I was fortunate to be in

his life for his last years. There was never a question of nursing homes. My grandfather

was revered, treated like a king, then waited on until his last day on earth. This seldom

happens any more, especially in the United States. Older people are shoved away. Left

alone, they lose their desire to live, let alone thrive.

Yes, many elderly people DO need medical help, yet there are so many that do not. It just

is not “convenient” to have them around. So goes the norm now and the majority of

senior citizens are “sent away” never to live with any of their family ever again. How sad.

In the book the “Blue Zone”, Dan Buettner talks about the impact and the necessity of the

elders teaching the young in families they live with. In Sardinia, Okinawa, Loma Linda, Calf.

and Costa Rica, there are healthy thriving loving families all together. Then when a person

reaches the “golden years”, they are treated by family and friends in “golden ways” Most

of the elderly live with their children and grandchildren. Three generations under one roof

and thriving! The great secret to their long lives is found in what they eat, how they think

and what they do. In Okinawa, Japan, people put family first, they enjoy being with their

family. Most of these people belong to a faith based society. They slow down and they

laugh a lot, they wake up each morning with a plan for their life. They eat healthy foods;

Brown rice, beans, fruit nuts. Little to no meat. They cook corn beans and squash

together. Eating almonds wards off cancer.

There is little to no disease where all these people have found a higher health way of life. I

can go on and on and IF they are living into their hundreds they MUST know something

good! In Loma Linda, California, the Seventh Day Advetists’s have long lives.

They exercise daily, eating fruit, vegetables, nuts and beans and the result is a healthy

productive, happy life. In the United States, loneliness has become an epidemic! We are

set on livestyles that force us into isolation day after day. We are attracted to different,

dangerous sites on the internet that does not produce healthy habits.

In Japan the longest living people believe forgiveness is key; “Forgive quickly”

It’s interesting to read how people in these countries live healthy each day. They do not try

to figure out the ending before they do something. So many of us STOP going forward just

because of FEAR - (False Events Appearing Real). Healthy rituals of repetition are

essential.

Make my Monday a day to start fresh, fresh fruits and vegetable only to eat. Tuesday

is a day I explore more, lovely places to walk, different stores to shop at for food. By

Wednesday its midweek. I plan something productive for myself, a new hobby a new

friend I can meet at the book store or the food store. I am reading constantly because

this is good for me. IF reading is not working, I can always listen to audio books, in

my car or before I go to bed.

Did you know the majority of food eaten in the Blue Zone areas is EARLY IN THE DAY.

Far better to process and metabolize our food before we go to bed. Our Urine should

be the palest color lemon and bile should be lightest brown with no odor. What we

put into our bodies decides our health. This is not only food, but our thinking and our

feelings as well. Four glasses of water daily is essential, and cleansing for me.

People who weigh themself daily are usually 15 pounds lighter than those who don’t.

Keeping a big pot of fresh vegetables and home made soup are healthy staples.

I know how I feel when I have eaten the wrong way, I feel bloated, depressed and

irritable at end of day. There is no need for this any longer. I replace sugar as much

as I can with honey. I do not drink any dairy and my choice of liquid for my cereal

of oatmeal or raisin bran with flax is Oatmilk or Almond Milk. All of these things I share

to show how easy it is to make the courageous change for higher health.

IF I start my morning in thankful prayer and end with “Not my will, but THY WILL BE DONE”,

there is a great possibility that I will make good choices in everything I do.

so I buckle up, it may be a bumpy ride today, yet I have my spiritual seat belt on.

Even IF I have had a rough day and there was little or no chance of laughter, I can

come home and deliberately find a “funny movie” to watch that will make me smile.

Life is like that, I get to choose. I can change the channels constantly. I am in charge.

I want a higher healthier life style in everything I do. People will come into my life

at whatever level I am at. Today I choose to “Lift the bar”, I WANT HEALTHY FRIENDS.

I want to live my life at its fullest, filled with love not fear. Today is my brand new day.

“Can I choose a Higher Healthy life for myself now?”

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

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“No Way Back” Blog #85

Have I been thinking, how far can I keep going at this pace?

Is my life speeding by too fast, or too slow, and who knows where?

How much longer can I keep worrying about something I can’t fix?

RESPONSIBILITY

“The fulfillment of my dreams lies within me and me alone. When I understand

and accept this, then nothing, or no one, can ever deny me greatness. The power

to succeed or fail at anything is mine, and no one can ever take that away.”

I remember the day when I was the ripe old age of thirteen. I had made up my mind to

make a life changing decision. I felt in my heart I could no longer live with my mother and

father’s abusive life style. My fathers drinking and daily fights with my mother had taken a

terrible toll on my feelings about myself. I was afraid a lot, I could not study in school and

more often then not, I was distracted by a darker side of life.

We had left the turmoil and sadness and confusion of living at my Aunt Irene’s house.

Now after months of no school, we had all been living in one room at a boarding house,

My other aunt felt sorry for us and helped my mom with a deposit for rent. My mother

found a tiny house for us to start over again. Yet, the fights were just as long and scary.

Her children? We were all a couple years older now. I was losing my will to want to get

good grades by eighth grade. Nights were frightening, it was chaotic and not safe. My

mother had found a cheap house but in a bad neighborhood of the city. There were only

two bedrooms, one which my parents had and the other shared by both brothers and

myself. We seldom had much to eat and my parents were gone daily, selling picture

coupons to try and make a living. At home, my mother tried to give me a bit of privacy

with a make-shift screen but it just would not do. Besides, it was facing the street, making

it easy to sneak out. As I look back, I remember never having an adult I could talk to, much

less depend on. Yet, l did look up to my mothers two sisters. Even though they had thrown

us out of their alcoholic sisters house, I knew they were tough. They seem to be made of

steel. Nothing could break them. Ironically, there was a safe feeling when I was around

them. They were so powerful. Living with my grandpa in their big old colonial, was always

in the back of my mind. It was just two miles south of our rented house but in a much

safer part of town, and above all, a good school district.

But who does that at my age? Why was I needing to act like the parent here? I was

wanting to up and leave and seriously believe it will all work out. No looking back, no time

to justify and no way back. It was my eldest Aunt Laura, the one who had always taken

me under her wing. She had planted that seed. She had told me so many times when I

visited her, “You have to write the letter, you must write that letter and leave. All will be

well.“

Yet, in the back of my mind, of course I knew it would be a break, and a loss if I wrote it,

there would most certainly be “No way back”.

Inside my mind I knew all the justifiable good reasons to leave. I understood where my

aunt was coming from when she told me what a bad father I had and how bad my

mother had become, allowing all that abuse on us children to take place. She told me

the letter had to end with an ultimatum. I must tell my mother I would not be coming

back to her, ever, unless she left my father for good.

There had been so many promises. At thirteen years old now, I understood life in a very

strange, hypocritical, dark way, and as my aunt Irene had said, “Who’s kidding who? ”So

many horrific events, I had learned to block them all out now. I wish I could say my aunts

taught me about my faith, but they used God in a strange, hypocritical way. Everything

they did was the opposite of how I understand Jesus to be. Yet, they did give me an

outline of how to make it through things. They were unbelievably strong. They just did not

give up at anytime and they seemed to be afraid of nothing. I guess that rubbed off on

me.

Still, I never believed I would leave. One afternoon, I was at the height of my fear, and after

a bad night of my parents drinking and abuse when my aunt called and asked me to

come spend the weekend, I agreed. It was at her house, where she dictated the letter for

me to write. She told me I was doing this to “save” our family. I never had a different plan,

so I used hers.

Be careful in life, because when you don’t have a plan, someone gives you theirs.

I realized there was no way back because her plan suddenly became mine. My aunt

convinced me to write the letter. “Tell your mother you will only come home to get your

things. You will stay here now. “If she loves you, she will leave your dad now.”

I remember asking my aunt, “but what about my brothers, where can they go?”

My aunt smiled at me, touched my shoulder gently but firmly saying, “You can’t think of

saving them right now, you have to think about how brave you are in doing this. The letter

will bring your mother to her senses. She will leave him. When she gets your letter, wait

and see”. This was my aunt at her best, control. She was a master at control,

manipulation and doing things one way, her way.

I remember that moment, I turned off my feelings. I had lived in fear for so long. What she

was saying, I wanted to be true. But inside I knew my mother would never, ever leave him

and in the end everyone I left behind would hate me.

There could have been healthy choices. But all the people around me were to say the

least, dysfunctional in a very severe way. My aunt should not have pitted me against my

family, used me as a pawn. However here’s an interesting fact, I allowed it. I definitely did

allow it, and there was no way back.

Its taken me a long time to see unless I pray and have a healthy plan for my life,

I may follow someone else down Into the darkness. There is no turning around

once we choose and go down that road. There is no way back.

Life decisions are like that. IF only I had known how easy it is to follow HIM. One little

prayer asking for guidance works! THE REASON IS THIS; IT IS UP TO ME, ALL UP TO ME.

I COME INTO THIS WORLD WITH FREE WILL - JESUS WILL NEVER PUSH HIMSELF ON TO ME.

This is true and an amazing awareness. Once I understand this, I make good choices.

This is one of my favorite sayings by Calvin Coolidge.

PERSISTENCE

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not;

Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.

Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.

Education will not; the world is full educated derelicts.

Persistence and Determination alone are omnipotent.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So just imagine how powerful I can feel with prayer, persistence and determination!

“Do I have a spiritual plan for my own life today?”

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“One Chance” Blog #84

How many chances have I ignored to bring healing into my life?

What do I see, feel and hear now, when I look around me?

Is my every day the same old sameness?

The dictionary defines “once in a lifetime chance” as a chance of opportunity afforded

to one that is, or seems unlikely to ever come about about again”.

I look back and I remember years ago…..

Living with a remarkable, unhappy older aunt who had become a sad, sick, self-abused

alcoholic. My aunt has lost everything she had dedicated her life to. She wound up living

at her fathers house with two other sisters in a big old colonial. Day after day she would

sit at the kitchen table picking at her face and circling the want ads in the newspaper with

a big black pen. She was trying to find a new chance at a job and she did this daily.

However, hours gone by, now late afternoon finds her sneaking down the hallway to the

half bath off the kitchen. There, safely hidden in the water tank behind the toilet she

gleams artificial courage. Taking sip after sip from the bottle of booze, this becomes her

daily ritual. With courage safe in hand, and many drinks later, she slips into her coat and

quickly walks down, around the corner, to the neighborhood bar for reinforcement. This

has became her life and her daily motto, “Whose kidding who”.

Now weeks and months and years have gingerly gone by. This self-styled, petite and p

owerful woman had been the President of the American Business Association in her city.

She owned a lovely two story home by a lake. My confident, classy, “tweeds and Channel”

Aunt was smartly dressed. She had met a man who was also confident, handsome and

classy. They had fallen in love. A gigantic wedding ensued and after they were married,

they seemed to have it all. Yet, my aunt and her husband were both heavy drinkers and

unbeknownst to my aunt, she had married a cheater. So in the two years they were

married, she was lied to, deceived and cheated on. My aunt had absolutely no clue until

her husband told her he had gotten a young girl pregnant. There was no remorse. At this

point, he decided to up and leave their lovely home, their Scottish Terrior dog and he

never looked back or saw his wife again.

What then happened to his devoted wife, my aunt? She still had a chance. There was a

good, healthy choice she could have made to change her life to good. Yet, I watched this

woman fall apart in front of my eyes. She in turn, day after day, systematically destroyed

every part of her life that was good. Her job, her reputation, her self worth went out the

window. How do I know this?

“Because birds of a feather flock together”

My aunt knew that my mother (her sister) had married and had three children. Her

sister was married to an abusive alcoholic (my father) and my aunt called my mother:

“We can all live in my house together, it will be good for all of us, come now!” This was the

beginning of seven years of nightmarish drinking, fighting and fear. After seven years my

aunt lost her home. My mother and father and us children were thrown out. My aunt was

put in a treatment center. (One of many.) The cold, Fall, day we all moved I was in the

middle of sixth grade. I can still see her being escorted to a cab in her nightgown with a

thick fur coat slung over her shoulders.

No idea where she was, the night before had been beyond passing out, now black outs

were the recurring theme. Later on, riddled with alcoholism, cancer and sadness, her life

was over. She had lost any chance of changing. For my aunt had placed all her faith, all

her belief, all her confidence in another human being! With her faith, and trust and belief

in her husband gone, she allowed this person and this situation to destroy her

forevermore. She had put her faith in another man and my Aunt had no faith in God Now

depression, sadness and drinking had become her closest friends.

No good comes from drinking, drugs and vapes. Only dark decisions left to chance.

Today you can take a chance and do it differently! However, I tell you this story because

whether you are 17 or 87 we all have something in common, we can choose today

differently. This new day gives me a new choice.

I understand now I can live from my higher self choosing inner guidance that is good.

If I feel anxious, I can go outside and walk 15 minutes one way and 15 minutes back.

I can pray and walk and say affirmations. I get one chance today to live healthyl

I leave you with this powerful message from a small book someone recently sent me:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I just had to stop and take a chance you would listen. Sometimes I quietly smile

and let that feeling silently sink in. How fortunate I am to be in this world with you.

Thank you for keeping my heart happy and my soul smiling. You see, not all angels

have wings. But they’re angels all the same. You can tell who they are by the way

they make everyone around them feel more hopeful and happy and more at peace…

And the way they make everything in life just a little more complete.

So this is for you, for the times you forget how amazing you really are”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How comforting it is to know someone feels this way about me -

IF you had one chance today to send this to someone, who would it be?

For this is where my heart should reside. A beautiful thought in life is we are all in this

together.

Believe with me, “I now have a chance to change in a healthy way.”

Know this: My lord is my rock. Nothing replaces HIM at the helm, for with

Jesus Christ in my heart, all things are possible.

“ISN’T IT TIME TO TAKE ONE CHANCE ON HIM?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Price of Pain” Blog #83

It is possible to capture the dilemma of a painful moment, and learn a powerful lesson!

In pain, do I allow myself to search deep inside me?

Can I understand what purpose there is in pain?

Do I seek to learn more from pleasure or my pain?

Time after time we hear someone say; “its just too painful to relive that again”, or the

comment, “the painstaking truth is this…”

Where and when we derive pleasure, can be so fleeting. It can come from another

person, a funny movie, a drink - more drinks. How in all my pleasure and my pain, do I

discern and purposely choose to develop a “sense of true self?”

Every day as life goes by, the stakes get higher and the years go faster and choices

become harder. In all these situations, not many of us are using a “spiritual roadmap”

to direct our way. It is critical to construct an inner sense of self. This is how we find out

who we are inside! Otherwise there are no inner resources to fall back on.

in Painful times we remain empty!

So in painful moments, many of us choose to use pills to dull the pain, dull the senses.

So many people we speak to over the years complain, “I don’t know why this ever

happened to me?” “Why DID this painful event get dropped on me?” “Why do I have to go

through all this pain and misery anyway?”

MAYBE I AM SUPPOSE TO BE LEARNING A POWERFUL LESSON ABOUT MYSELF!

So often we become pressured into believing the ideas and viewpoints of other negative

attitudes over our own inner guidance!’’ One minute we are happy with one person and

the next minute, sad with someone else. More painful interactions with family members

and the list goes on like a roller coaster. Year after year after year. I consider this to be a

“false sense of self”. For inside my core I am suppose to be -

“So strong that nothing can disrupt my peace of mind”.

So what’s happening out there? Can we accept this, “My body IS the temple of God.

It is only then that the painful process of maturing can be less painful.”

My living, is all about ME learning all about Me, learning my lessons and helping others.

Just because a person ages does not mean that they mature. ONLY IF we are gaining

spiritual understanding each day that we live, can we become wiser and handle reality

around us in a healthy way. Therefore, I choose NOT to lie, I want to rid my life of

resentment and anger and my painful past memories. So here is a great idea, I start a

Daily Journal all about my feelings and I keep track of my anger, resentment and fear.

Then at the end of the year, I see how I have matured and burn the journal! My attitude

will determine my outcome.

NEW RULES for MYSELF:

1. No matter the pain - I address it and do the right thing.

2. I will live in Truth only.

3. I accept the painful process of MY LIFE and let go of darkness!

Did you know: ‘IN LIFE YOU WILL BE AS HAPPY AS YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE”?

YET, life comes at us unrelentlessly. Life comes Down to just so many hours in the day.

Think about this, there are 4400 weeks in a lifetime of 85 years. I am now determined to

make each day count.

I serve My Lord Jesus Christ. For He resides in me, HE rescued me and I am safe.

Can I accept the price of pain HE paid for me and open my heart to HIM today?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Desperation” Blog #82

If you really want to make God laugh - tell him your plans!

When a person gets desperate, the mind starts racing, overthinking takes place, wrong

decisions are likely made! Every single thing I expect to go “my way” today, will it?

No matter what I do still there are those days to climb back out of darkness.

This is Desperation. So what is the recipe for healing? These are questions every single

person has asked of themself. Every one of us have gone through some form of darkness

in our daily living.

This is LIFE. The raw, down to earth feelings of living with disappointment.

However, “TRUTH” finds the person who is brave enough to pray for HIS help.

For HE is here right now.

It is a strong person who knows and believes it is possible to climb out of darkness.

Don’t be afraid, for all of us have been there. Nothing to fear. Believe in Jesus Christ.

It is the courageous person who gets back up and refuses to see darkness anymore.

So how to pick yourself back up? Just say 4 small words, “Please help me Lord”.

This is the only way HE comes because we all have “FREE WILL” to do things our way!

It is time now, when you know you feel helpless, time to show “self” the way out.

Deep inside us all, there is a knowing that there is light at the end of each dark tunnel.

N0 one can make us do a single thing we do not want to do. I’ve said it time and time

again in many of my blogs. The main difference between one person and the next, is

“CHOICE”.

The knowing we have “free will” can turn out to be frightening. Free will can prove to be

overwhelming. Free will can be extremely disruptive. I have learned to understand this

now. So every morning I wake up asking for HIS help. I know I can’t possibly do it alone

anymore. It’s just too damn hard to be all alone internally. I feel HIM with me now.

Because of this angelic awareness, I have seen my life change in many remarkable ways.

My mind, not racing any more. I do not try to plan out every outcome. I give up my will

and let HIS will be done working within me all day and every day, and trust in every

situation. Many of us are fearful of our future. Literally, not just fearful but stuck in a dark

place of “not wanting to let go” of someone who may have hurt us deeply. Can’t forgive.

Denying truth. Going over and over, alienating loved ones.

THIS CAN ALL STOP NOW.

Whatever happens, I will not give in to the darkness!

I listened to Glen Beck the other morning - He shared that the Number One song in

America today is: “Rich Man North of Richmond” by Oliver Anthony.

The crux of the song is about alienation from everything! Above all, the deep decline of

America today. He infers why bother with anything other than drugs and alcohol, when life

just isn’t worth living anymore? Wow. What a defeating message.

Glen Beck went on to share how many people are buying into this belief! A belief that

couples itself with no faith in anything. A belief is nothing. Who even wants to GO to

church anymore? Anything and everything is justified for personal gain. Why get married

anymore? Everything is so easy. Just live together right? A belief that Life has no intrinsic

purpose but to live day in and day out, one day to the next, with no spiritual deep belief.

Now, more than ever, there is such a powerful need for inner spiritual truth. I remember

after Mother Theresa got the Nobel Peace Prize and a newscaster asked her what can we

possibly do to help stop all the evil in the world? She said, “One person at a time”. We all

know who we are. So where do I start?

I could not begin to share with you how overwhelming my life became, right after I

thought I had obtained everything in my life, to perfection. Yet, I was not in control

of the unexpected. That one hot summer July morning when I least expected it, the

bottom fell out. There was a murder in my family. At that moment, my life changed

forevermore. I was totally unprepared for the “unexpected.” This dark event caused me to

plummet to the blackest realm of living.

Finally, when I could take it no more, I searched and began to dig so deep, that I refused to

stop until “Life would make some spiritual sense to me”. That is when I experienced a

miracle myself! That is when I came face to face with the Holy Spirit.

In my heart, I know I daily I fight the darkness that tries to take over myself with desperate

feelings, but now I have HIS help and HIS guidance and HIS light. Desperation can take

over any one of us, when we least expect it.

So I believe daily, it’s all up to me. I feel secure when I take HIM into my heart.

What do I want? Where am I going? Who AM I? These are the questions that keep me

focused. I must now decide to discipline my day and learn to discern. To be able to

choose wIth inner judgement of being in the world and not of the world. To learn to be so

spiritually strong, I will turn off the “television of life”, not buy into drama! Be above it.

I am here to learn my own lessons, stay prayerful and not judge anyone!

Can I dig my way out of desperation today?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Is It About Me?” Blog #81

Who is in my world today that is my “teacher”?

What am I suppose to be learning that is so important?

Where are these “lessons” that I am hearing about anyway?

When we are small children there is security in knowing the most important decisions that

are made for us is by an adult. When we become adults, life gets hard. There is no part

of life that does not hold a lesson to learn from. Some of us will question this immediately

saying, “why can’t I just live my life the way I want?” Well, we can, this is called “free will”.

I believe every person alive has free will to do as they please. Yet, it is in the “CHOICE” that

makes all the difference.

The Ladder of Life is a fascinating journey. Whether a person wants to or not, they are

caught up in the journey, one day at a time. For time waits for no one. It is in this journey

that we learn lessons that are so imperative to our spiritual growth here on

earth. People will meet total strangers sometimes in the strangest circumstance, and this

will change their life forever. One never knows how the “twisted hand of fate’ can change

a situation and a life in a permanent fashion.

I remember a long time ago when I was getting some counseling for anxiety and my

therapist said to me: “Your feelings toward other people are actually mirrors of yourself”.

The very first person I thought about was my father. “How could that be?”, I thought. He

was an alcoholic his whole life. My father was mean spirited toward our family. My father

never spent a sober day enjoying his children. How in the world could he be a mirror of

myself? What was I suppose to learn?

I struggled with drinking. Also I needed to learn about forgiveness toward him. Yet, it took

years for me to understand that there are many facets of the human personality. Just

because I did not like some parts of who he became, perhaps I needed to look much

deeper. Eventually, I found that my fathers drinking DID affect me tremendously.

Subconsciencely, I learned to drink a lot too. Later in life when I became a full fledged

adult, my nights were filled with lots of drinking. How could I judge this man, when I too

was doing the exact same thing? Not to mention the fact that in the Bible there is an

incident where a woman is brought to the town square to be stoned to death for adultery.

Jesus is there. Just before the scribes and people were to pick up stones and throw them

at this woman - Jesus said: “You who is without sin should cast the first stone”.

Every single one of the people in the crowd put down their stones and quietly walked

away. I feel my life is all about me when it comes to judgement, blame and forgiveness.

I have family members throughout my life that I have been very angry with. I have carried

judgements. I have felt anger. I have blamed. At the end of the day, there are powerful

lessons to be learned here for ME.

I must learn about forgiveness! I must learn about judgement, “Judge not, lest ye be

judged”. “Judgement is mine, saith the Lord”, and of course my favorite:, “There but for the

grace of God…..go I”

Every day, every where, every minute we have something to learn from life. Whether it is

from a family member, or a friend, or a situation that caused us to stop, turn around and

take in that moment. Whether we are single or married, or living alone or with other

people we must see the choice we have each day. Say in prayer; “Thank you Lord, for

helping me to be in this world, but not of this world”.

I treasure the moments when I am challenged. I thank God for the times when I am

struggling. I am always grateful for the lessons I learn in every day life because this is

where I experience soul growth! We stretch internally and find such great love and feel an

abundance of God’s light. I look now for the people that are in my life to show me a bright

light, a deeper awareness and a chance to grow spiritually with HIS truth. Think hard

today about a person or situation or event that is bothering you?. I Find a moment to go

deep inside the heart and pray.

Why do I FEEL this is happening to me? What can I learn from it? Where am I casting

blame? Can I try to remember the “Inner light of love” guiding me along? This will help

me grow internally quickly! So many years of insisting of doing things my way and never

knowing to pray, “Not my will today but THY will be done”.

So now, taking a deep breath, I sit back, fold my hands and pray. I know my life will work

out exactly as it is suppose to. I have let go of all judgement. I have let go of all blame. I

have let go of all anger, for this is the way it is suppose to be. Every person is on their own

journey. I can only work on me. It is all about me.

Can I find a moment today to learn all about me?

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“Do I Believe?” Blog #80

To understand the miracle of life, I search inside myself for truth. Non-believers may think

we evolve from monkeys. Yet, people choose to be doctors, scientists and inventors…..for

what? Why have we evolved this far to invent cures for disease, why bother? Then again,

why fly rockets to the moon, for what? Especially if there is “nothing out there”, nothing left

to the afterlife. It all sounds so worthless. A means to an end. For those who believe we

came from monkeys feel at the end of life - THATS IT.

When I play this idea out, I think it to be a perilous, empty, dark journey. Especially, when

parents are raising children without any faith. They blow up this big, bright, beautiful

balloon to show them life, only to “pop” it for them as the child asks? What is death?”

Then diving into the nothingness of their belief system. They had best throw away Santa

Clara, The Easter Bunny and all the fairy worlds. Death: Nothing at the end. Ironically, little

children were asked on “Kids say the darnest things'" CNN: “Who is God?” A small child

answered, “Don’tcha know? God is in everything!”

Comforting words to a hurting or dying child do not come from an unbeliever. Children

will grow up fearful, sceptical and full of questions. Our purpose as parents is to raise

well-rounded children. I include this to mean faith based. Faith moves mountains.

We cannot give a teen a valid reason for not ending their life if there is nothing out

there to give them hope! Hope is the reason to go on living.

When 9/11 hit the Twin Towers in NYC and thousands of people died in the towers and on

planes, people were on their phones to their families praying! The spineless agnostics, the

arrogant atheists and the anti-Christ movements find it convenient to argue against the

true Christian ideal, yet no real research behind it! Jesus’ kind, spiritual, truth shows God’s

love and what it stands for. Non-believers have nothing factual to use their belief on. The

extent to which people refuse to learn about Christ shows up on so many sad faces.

People excape loneliness and the ways in which they maneuver their life styles is hard to

fathom. Any excuse to run away from self. Remember “In God we Trust” is on every piece

of money we handle.

G. K Chesterton was the greatest writer and most profound thinker of the 20th Century.

He wrote 4,000 essays and defines the average man with only truth! Every atheist should

read Chesterton’s “Everlasting Man”. C. S. Lewis was an atheist yet, he was such an

important writer, he did research for years and became a Christian. He inspired Ghandi

to lead a revolution ending all British rule in India! These two men were deep researchers

and prolific writers about truth! Interestingly enough, they were not great Christians

before their research started. Only through inner searching and deep research can the

awareness and belief in Jesus Christ come to light.

On the internet I have recently learned there are five hundred million non-believers

and two and a half billion** Christian believers. (** it takes a thousand million for a billion

So we know we are in good company!

It is comforting to put a child to bed at night sharing that our guardian angel; is here

watching over us. It is reassuring to feel there is another spiritual world waiting for us.

Belief in knowing that someday we will all be united with our loved ones is reassuring.

At the end of the day, IF we must be literal; The non-believer has no actual proof of the

non-existence of Jesus. Yet, the believer does have proof of miracles all over the world for

years and years on end. So I choose believing in Jesus Christ. I know that when I leave

this earth, the caterpillar of my empty shell in this world will be transformed into a

Monarch Butterfly up with the angels in the brilliance of the sunlight. I refuse to accept the

non believers decision at the end of our life is a big, black hole of nothingness. I for one,

attest to miracles. I believe Jesus Christ is alive and well, working within me and all those

who accept HIM. The non-believer and I have a 50/50 chance of being right. And I chose

to go with the light. For my belief gives me comfort. I feel HIS love and my faith brings me

security.

Can you find time to research a belief in HIM?

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“Echo of Guilt” Blog #79

Can’t I just go back and fix a few things?

Why do thoughts from my past still haunt me?

How can I erase guilt hanging heavy in my heart?

The most beautiful part of living is the gift of a new day.

Knowing this, we can start over.

I was once told that wherever I have been in my past, at that time, I only had the tools to

deal with each situation then. No more, no less. Think about this. If I only had the tools I

needed then! Yet, that was then and this is now. I cannot go back, ever. I cannot fix,

replace, redo anything out of my past. This is the guilt that echoes on into the years.

I had times where I lay in bed at night and go over and over and over, things from my

past. The reason is simple, I seem to believe and think it actually helps. The only way my

life can be benefited by any thought I dig up from my past is with one purpose only,

FORGIVENESS. I can forgive myself. I can forgive others. THEN, I must move on. No matter

where I am, where I have been or where I am going, I am right where I am suppose to be

now. When I am fully aware of real truth, I find my authentic self.

There is not a person alive who has not felt the pangs of guilt. The cruel mental rub. The

echos of guilt from yesterday can destroy a person’s well being. Each and every one of

us have our own separate idea of how we want to live truth. Who is there for us that

shows us love and wants to depend on us? Who is there for us regardless of what we

have done to hurt them? Who is there for us when all things in our life seem to be caving

in?

Finally, after all the guilt I have carried about not saying the right thing, not doing the

right thing at the right moment and above all, not always being honest with my own

feelings. The key to removing my own past guilt is simply put.

I am learning to understand forgiveness.

There is only one force in all the universe that can give us what we need. HIS love. Each

day goes by in spite of what we decide we want or don’t want. When we finally discover

that no matter what we do, life is just not working for us, then HE gets our attention big

time. Why? because there is nothing left. Where are we suppose to go when our life is

not working, it’s a scary thought. Do we wake up and go to bed at night feeling at peace

anyway? Not a chance. If we are not at peace, Why Not? Somewhere in there, in the

way back of our mind, echoes the sound of guilt. Nothing can change our thoughts

except HIS peace, HIS love and HIS forgiveness. When we attach ourself to this truth.

Relief leaps in. Suddenly, life is actually much simpler than I have ever allowed myself to

believe.

I have started to worry and fear less. I have begun to slow my thinking down. I look at life

in much less fearful fashion. NOW my days are more accepting I have found over the

years that my selfish misunderstanding of life has taken me down one long path of

disappointment after another. This is when I put all my faith in the secular world. Why?

Because when I was younger I believed this is where my happiness lay. Faith is funny that

way, it’s so darn hard to believe in the intangible. Its so hard to believe in what we cannot

see. Yet its because of that, that which we cannot see, that causes us to search internally.

This then brings us hope. Then hope gives us courage and courage gives us strength.

We need the inner search for strength to develop our faith in the unseen.

The unseen hand of God.

Only by our trials and errors do we change. There can never be light without darkness.

In our past, IF we experienced guilt in any form, this then teaches me about myself.

As I learn about myself, I learn about my true self. I can go inside me and feel the light

of Christ show me the way forward.

Bad habits are made to be broken. Mental habits of “going backwards in guilt” must stop

for me today. I can concentrate on the goodness of all that is around me and stay

focused on today. I now know and understand and accept that anything and everything

that has come into my life is there to “teach me internally about myself”.

Today is my chance to let go of the guilt and feel HIS holiness forever.

How can I turn off the echoes of guiit?

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“Why Open Up? Blog #78

What’s so important about “Opening Up” to myself?

Will it matter if I looK DEEP inside, and “open up”?

Why should I even bother, when I was hurt so badly?

Some of us walk down the sidewalk straight down the middle. We do not veer to the left

or the right. God forbid, we look back……..

Our day is filled with routine. Day in and day out decisions are often made “just like we

did yesterday”….. Same ol’ way we choose to live. Really now, it’s safe, right? So why rock

the boat? It’s not that I feel it necessary to dwell on or in the past. However, it is

necessary to look at my life with complete clarity. If there is anything I feel has kept me

stuck, this is where I need to focus. There are certain things in life that make people

come alive. Feel good about self. Do I feel vibrant and alive? Or do I privately feel

abandoned? Many of us live life judging each other, anyone who comes in and out of

our lives. We continue to recall events that happened as “sad family meetings for us”.

Isolated situations have kept us angry. Stuffed feelings are intentionally hidden away.

So important to stay focused on all the wrongs that have happened ….. who did what,

when and why. Yet, the moment a family member dies, what shifts? Now what to do

with all those concrete thoughts and feelings?

Maybe now, even more difficult to open up and look at, so “just file safely away”. Does

anyone consider how important it is to “Open up and clean out the attics of our minds?

Clean out and refurbish with forgiveness. Then implanting the idea of reaching out with

love. Complete unconditional love and accept the fact everything has happened to

each of us for a “personal growth reason”.

Is there a healthy reason to keep on with our own private anguish? Most often the

reason is PRIDE and JUDGEMENT and BLAME. One person decides to stay away. Another

person decides to drink. Another person decides to pour themself into work. Yet,

another person finds release in food. Another person pours their heart out in gossip.

So many ways to just “run away”. Do anything to avoid the obvious. There are healthy

ways to mend a family relationship.

Simply put, Forgive the person in our heart and then move on.

How hard is it to open up? Talk quietly, peacefully and lovingly with a distant family

member who has hurt us, filled us with anger and distance and judgment. Sometimes

the written word is best. All the time prayer is a starting point, more often than not, we

feel if we “open up”, we give up ourselves. We do not want to go “too deep”. We think

we don’t care anymore, but we do.

Our own life lesson, is our cross.

A change of mind.

A change of attitude.

A change of heart.

Have you ever seen a little child so resolute, with their heels dug in and mind set so

nothing can change their perspective on life? Not often. There are so many of us that

have people in our lives conditionally. What kind of quality of living life is this? God put

certain family members into our lives so we may learn about ourself. We learn about

our strengths and our weakness. This is important to look at “Why Open Up”; to open up

to truth inside us.

All we think, all we feel and all we do is inspired by “life situations” that have occurred

along the way. We all know that we will never change another soul, however, when we

learn and pray and forgive, we change for the better. WE MUST GROW INTERNALLY. It is

up to each of us to understand that each of us are on our “own separate path”. There is

growth, understanding and awareness at each level we are at. In the pain and suffering

we experience - IF we can let go of anger, judgement and denial, then we grow spiritually.

We grow quickly.

When we open up, we find understanding. We bring in an understanding heart.

Every day when I pray, I ask for “Not my will, but thy will be done.”

“Lord, please give me an understanding heart.”

It’s okay, it’s all okay to look at the things we are afraid of. As soon as we bring our mind

to focus on truth, we feel calm, accepting and aware.

“Don’t Give Up, Open Up?”

POEM

Anonymous

Totally set in my mind…. I shuffle through this day

No ones going to tell me differently,

I’m the one who gets to say!

Unaware of the beauty internally, I sense the need to know

My authentic higher self waits…….waiting at last to show .

Trailing sadly behind are yesterdays anger and fears

I slow down, let go and pray as I dry all my tears

Listening to my heart, finally now I grow.

its hard facing life sometimes, wherever I may go

but today there’s a brand new start.

NOW opening up to truth, I find my understanding heart.

What do we prove to ourself, by being so private? Open up and just breathe.

Just for today I can start out with a positive, non-judgmental approach to life.

“Do I understand the need to Open up my heart?”

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Life Help” Blog #77

Why do I feel stuck sometimes after I did something today?

When will I be able to trust in myself to make the right decisions?

How can I know that today I will not repeat mistakes from yesterday?

Every day sometimes seems like the last. Too often we feel lost, empty and alone. There

appears to be repetition in so many of the ways that we continue to think. I have found

that everything we need to know is right there inside of me. There are three ways to go

forward:

This is an important LIFETIMER RECIPE

Have IT - Everything you need to know is right there inside of YOU

Grow IT - You can grow strong internally with Prayer, discipline & change

Achieve IT - I do believe I AM my Higher Self personified. Therefore, I am Powerful.

When I read something positive, powerful and good. These are not just words. These

are truth healing Life Helps. This is how to Heal my life with LIFE HELP. It is so important to

integrate theses words into my being. This is how I grow internally. This is how I change

for the better. This is how I become my best self. I must believe in Jesus Christ. I must

believe in myself. I must believe in miracles.

When I was a little girl, I remember my grandma saying to me, “if you want to stop

thinking about yourself, go out and help someone else.” Miracles are not just words in

stores to read about. They truly do happen to people. Going through the dark times

brings in the light. Going through troubled times brings powerful healing. Going through

negative situations and knowing how I can choose truth, brings in confidence and clarity

and extinguishes ALL confusion!

When I make the decision to change, I then only go forward. As I choose the best Life

Help I now find clarity. I choose to live in my Higher-self. WHY do I make this choice?

Because everything else is less, lower, dark thinking. It’s difficult to let go of being “of the

world”. the world pushes secular thoughts. The world is all about “things”. Attitudes,

judgements, blame, ridicule and sadness.

THE BEST DECISION IS TO BE IN THE WORLD, NOT OF THE WORLD

A higher self decision is calm. Clarity brings in light of Jesus Christ =Truth pours in. I can

tell you personally and specifically and in all honesty - Miracles do Happen. I myself

have witnessed miracles happen in my ow life. I know many of you have heard about

people doing miracles, miracles abound. Miracles live in people. There was a woman

who lived among much constant disease and never got sick! Mother Theresa lived from

1910 - 1997. She was the founder of The Missionairies of Charity. Mother Theresa was an

Albanian Catholic nun who brought 4500 nuns together across 133 countries. She was a

tiny, brave, strong woman who walked right into danger. She ran soup kitchens. She

managed homes for people who were dying of AIDS and T.B. She ran orphanages and

lived by a vow; “To give wholehearted free service to the poorest of the poor”. In 1979 she

was given the Nobel Peace Prize. She was controversial because she also believed that

“suffering was a gift from God”. She felt people grow in their suffering. She lived and

walked and stayed with those who had Leprosy, yet never got it herself! Why didn’t this

woman ever get sick from Leprosy day in and day out? She believed in the power of

prayer and she believed in miracles!

She believed that we need to go out there and help “the Hungry, all the homeless, the

crippled, the blind, the lepers and all those people who feel unwanted, unloved, uncared

for throughout society. People who have become a burden and are shunned by

everyone.

One day Mother Theresa was confronted in NYC by a journalist and he asked her point

blank; “with so much suffering in the world and so many to deal with, how can one

person make a difference? This little tiny woman with her beautiful blue eyes, smiled up

at him and said, “One person at a time”. Sometimes its just a change in how we act

and behave and do for those around us. So many of us live in isolation, pushing those

that care for us away. Can we find discipline, discernment and direction to do the

“right thing” now? I can go out and help rescue someone in need, this will bring light into

my life indeed.

“Who can I give “Life Help” to today?”

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”Prepared?” Blog #76

What happens when you can’t prepare for something? Where do I suddenly get the

tools to take on what I’m not ready for? How can I be ready for something that I don’t

even see coming?

I could not possibly prepare myself for the unexpected that day. It’s another hot summer

morning and so many of the things I am thinking about doing are interrupted by change.

There are unexpected phone calls. There are unexpected mood changes in people

around me.

There is unexpected tragedy. I remember a long time ago when I woke up fresh on a hot

summer morning. I was ready to go out and list another house. The biggest change in

my life that I can ever remember happened this exact July 12th morning, years and years

ago. Little did I realize, I was so unprepared. I was thinking only about listing a house for

sale and my crazy real estate business.

As I sat down at my desk, I distinctly remember reading the words for the day,

“Oh normal day, let me be aware of what a treasure you are!”

I went to look at a new house coming on the market. When I got back to my office, my

husband was standing there with tears in his eyes. He told me my mother had just been

killed by a drug addict. Then I did the strangest thing. I just wanted to write my ads for

my Sunday Open house, I guess to pretend I never heard a word he had just said. The

rest of that day found me falling into a black hole. Somehow it seemed, I had just

walked into a scene from a horror movie. No words can explain how I managed to cope.

No drinks, no pills, no drugs. Nothing takes away dealing with a life experience so severe.

My faith had always been superficial at best. However, then sadly, what happened to my

mother, made me turn away completely from religion and God. How could a kind, loving,

good God ever allow this to happen?

When this tragedy hit my life so many years ago today, I had to experience the

unthinkable. I did not have spiritual tools to work with. IF I would have known more about

the man, Jesus, I would have been better prepared with spiritual tools I so greatly

needed. I may have been willing to accept at some point what happened to me and

been better prepared for emotional healing. At some point, I started to learn about my

own faith and the man, Jesus Christ. It was comforting and peace-filled and made me

feel safe. I am now aware that Jesus prayed and went back and forth into the Garden of

Gethsemane, three separate times. Knowing what was ahead of him, Jesus asked

earnestly;

“take this cup from me, yet not what I will but your will God”

So this means IF Jesus was to suffer in his humanity and even God his Father let this

happen, Jesus was showing us what even HE wanted to learn about fear, anger and

forgiveness in his human form. Now, I have seen powerful lessons in store for me to

learn. What kind of lessons am I talking about?

Anger - Judgement - Forgiveness

These are huge issues to deal with on a daily basis. How can I begin to try to understand

the “man” Jesus? By starting with myself. Learning about myself. Forgiving myself.

Imagine being alive and in all your own humaness, you are given “super powers”. You

are able to heal and help and divinely perform miracles on other people. However, you

cannot use any of these “Devine super powers” on yourself! This takes super human

discipline. Jesus had to be perfectly disciplined to the end. Over thirty-nine lashes of

torture and bloody whipping. Soldiers, spitting, ridiculing and shoving on his head a

crown of thorns. Then a death squad hammering sharp nails into the the wrists of Jesus

as he is horrifically nailed to a crossbar. It took three long tortuous hours for Jesus the

man of all miracles to die a gruesome, slow deliberate death. All the while hanging

there, he used no miraculous powers on himself! HIS disciples let HIM down and

deceived HIM. HE was totally alone. Still in the end it is recorded Jesus last words:

“Father forgive them, for they know not what they do”.

Who alive has that kind of forgiveness? As my own life went back and forth in dark

circles of anger, sadness and fear, my private suffering was weighing me down. I was

absolutely not able to forgive. However, I was now learning more about the “man” Jesus

and my heart was now ready. Then one cold winter morning when the weight of all my

anger was crippling me, I put my hands together. “Please, please help me Jesus”, I

prayed. Suddenly the strangest thought came into my mind. I found I had the desire to

drive over to the place of incarceration and face the man who had killed my mother. I

wanted to speak with him. When the guards let me into the room and I saw him sitting

meekly on a chair, I looked deep into his eyes. My voice was starting to quiver but I spoke

quietly. “I forgive you”, I said. Then it was done. I watched the guard take him out of the

room and tears flowed down my cheeks. It was over. There was no more reason to

carry this heavy burden any longer. All those years of searching for something.

Forgiveness, right in front of my face.

I had to let go of all my anger. I had to trust. That’s when Jesus Christ comes in like a

butterfly. Still, quietly and comforting. I asked for help in earnest, and HE came.

HIS light prepares me for any and all darkness. My body, mind and spirit are protected..

Am I ready or am I unprepared?”

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‘‘Do I Change?” Blog #75

Why DO I need to look at change inside of me?

Does any part of my life need changing?

Should I even try to see myself differently?

There is reason to believe a human being uses a fraction of their brain capacity to think

and live and work each and every day! Our brain tells us how we choose to live life. So

how DO I choose change? Did you know eating a balanced diet improves our brain

health? IF I get up and eat the right things in the morning, I don’t want to snack on the

WRONG things all afternoon. I know when I exercise at least 30 minutes a day,

endorphins are released into my brain that help me not be depressed! An article I read

recently said, “a study over ten years showed people who use brain training exercises

reduce their chance of getting dementia by 29%.“ I also have read and believe,

alcoholism causes brain damage. We won’t even go into the brain damage done by

drug addiction and smoking!

Looking back on education we have acquired, it seems to stop when we stop going to

school. Very few of us continue to read. Even fewer of us feel the need to continue to

learn about the things that are important to our good physical health, our mental health

and so importantly, our spiritual health. I have been reading an excellent book, “The Last

Days of Jesus” - O”Reilly. In this book he talks about the real man Jesus and what HE

encountered living his last days on this earth. Does anyone care to find out? This MAN

Jesus was human even though he had full power from above, he only used his powers to

help others and when it came to himself, HE did not change into “Lower self thinking'“. HE

stayed focused on each one of us. When Jesus was asked; “ What is the greatest

commandment?” Jesus answered, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all

your soul, and with all your mind”. The second is, “Love your neighbor as yourself”.

This book shares the healings Jesus did, the amazing truths Jesus shared and all the

good Jesus did. Yet, his disciple; Judas only wanted money to betray him! Then after

Judas got 30 pieces of silver, he was so ashamed, he killed himself!

So why the flip? What must we think went on inside Judas’s brain? Why don’t more of us

want to learn about the man Jesus? By having feeble opinions for NOT going to church,

one sees no need to learn about this unbelievable man who gives me reason to want to

change.

Still, we take on bold observations on WHY we have no need for this man Jesus in our life

daily while judging others harshly. When DO I decide to change? Does it have to take a

radical decision after a major illness? Does change happen after we experience “a close

encounter with death?” Do extremes have to occur in order for us to understand the

need for HIS TRUTH?

Ironically, every part of life involves change. The universe show us change by giving four

seasons to every year. Each season brings about definate change. A green vibrant leaf

turns brown, shrivels up and dies, then buds again and a new season is upon us. Cold

winter weather gives way to spring and the process of blooming and growing and green

starts all over again. A simple caterpillar crawling on the ground spins a cocoon and

changes into a breathtaking butterfly. Spring graduations bring change from childhood

to young adults going out into the world. School reunions are great change reminders.

Ten, twenty, thirty years, not seeing a person from long ago, is there change? Change

from being single to married. Married and children. Children and then grandchildren.

So much change occurs. I start to ask myself, why don’t people like change? Why don’t

people like change?

In the changing of my years ahead, when do I address my fears?

Do I choose change in a healthy, healing, learned way? Above all -

Do I choose to be a champion for change - let go of old baggage I carry with me?

How Do I Choose to Change today?

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“Inside Me” Blog #74

What kind of life am I living?

Do I somehow slide from one day into the next?

How am I learning about me……deep inside of me?

I must understand that I have a “lower self” and a “higher self”. My “lower self” nature

fights my “higher self” nature every minute of every day. Do I feel I must resort to

smoking, drinking, drugs and other addictions to calm myself down? - if so, there will

never be enough, it will never end. It becomes an endless circle of madness. If I am able

to leave the darkness behind. I jump to my “higher self”. Yet, ONLY with HIS HELP and the

light of Jesus Christ can this be done one day at a time. This and only this, allows me to

find my higher purpose for living.

I have so many untapped talents that are waiting to be discovered. I know that

Grandma Moses (a very famous painter) was discovered when she was well into her

nineties! There is nothing to stop me from learning except ME. A very important truth is

that all the tools I need to heal me, are deep inside of me.

THIS IS A PROVEN RECIPE AND IT WORKS !

“I FEEL THE PAIN TO CHANGE AND DO IT ANYWAY. I AM TIRED OF BEING TIRED.

I AM TIRED OF BEING HURT. I KNOW THAT HURT PEOPLE, HURT PEOPLE!!

I HAVE A GOOD MIND AND I CAN STOP ALl THE OLD DESTRUCTIVE LIFE HABITS NOW.

I CAN CREATE GOOD THOUGHTS ABOUT MYSELF EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY - HOW?

I START WITH POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS AND I LEARN NEW ONES COSTANTLY.

THIS IS CALLED THE ‘ALPHABET AFFIRMATION GAME’

I AM AWESOME, I AM ASTOUNDING, I AM ACCEPTING MY HIGHER SELF NOW….

I AM BLESSED, I AM BRIGHT, I AM BRAVE….. I AM CONFIDENT, I AM CLEAR THINKING……

There are so many more adjectives to think of for each letter. I try to stay on one letter

until I have thought of at least TEN AFFIRMATIONS for that letter. By the time I get through

most of the alphabet - I am so positive about myself! NEGATIVE THOUGHT PATTERNS ARE

TAKING A BACK BURNER AND GOING AWAY……. My daily decisions are critical to my good

health and my mental well being. I get outside because I have to have fresh air, I have

to drink four bottles of water daily and I have to walk minimum for thirty minutes. This is

so important for my MENTAL GOOD HEALTH. I CANNOT COMPROMISE ON THESE BASICS

FOR LIFE. Why do I bother talking about my “Inner self”? Because Insider of me, deep

within is where the truth lies. The real me. The authentic person that will not

compromise with anything or anyone or any situation that doesn’t bring out “My best

Inside self”. Negative situations are here to help heal me..

So where does that leave most of us? Pretty much floating around on a cloud of

disenchantment. We look for happiness in other people. We look for satisfaction in

buying things. We believe that this pill or that drink or that “temporary fix” will do the trick.

I have found that the only answer to any of my pain is ME. I have to look, I have to search,

I have to accept who I am. All the people in my life have been put there for ME to learn

about myself. I believe they have. brought me happiness, they have brought me

sadness, they have brought me awareness and they have brought me anger. Yet, at the

end of the day, I am still left with ME. I have seen people come and go. Regardless of

how I choose to judge them - they still come and GO. So, INSIDE ME now I choose to

connect with my “higher self” I then look at life truthfully. I see my purpose for being here

is to help others too. This alone, removes me from so much pain and brings in my

spiritual power. I feel HIS light protecting me. I begin to feel my purpose and I feel

powerful. I can close my eyes now and feel the vibrating, miraculous, bright light of

Jesus Christ surrounding me in his love and nothing can take this away.

This powerful light, I share with you now, feel the light move throughout every part of

me, the light now goes deep, deep inside of ME, cleansing me always.

This light heals any darkness of my past. I know that everything, past and present, has

come into my life, bringing me a “teachable moment” “What am I learning?” Now that I

have connected with my authentic self - deep inside me. I can say; I am peaceful, I am

perfect and I am protected, every second of every minute of every day - I am never

alone. Now I choose to look at the virtue of others rather than their vices. By my doing

this I am stopped from gossiping because “There but for the grace of God, go I”. The

debt we owe ourselves is simply this: All the people who we have ever known, all the

people who have come and gone into our lives have come to teach us something about

ourself…..what is it? Is it forgiveness? Is it hope? Is it faith? Is it patience? is it gratitude

for how we changed because of them? Only each and every one of us can search deep

“inside me” and begin to ask and answer powerful questions. So often we are tempted

by others deliberate decisions to defy us, to hurt us, to purposely find ways to hurt us to

the very core. However, this is a defining moment when we must step forward with

courage and a brave heart and the knowing that these are the tests we must pass each

and every day for our own inner growth. We must learn forgiveness first, then we must

learn temperance and be at peace. In order to handle my daily situations, I try to say

this prayer for awareness:

Serenity Prayer

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things that I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.”

This is when I begin to feel the authentic me, the true me, the beautiful parts to the real

me that Jesus Christ wants me to see. However, I must remember, we always have

choice, we always have good and bad to choose from and we always are given our own

free will to do with as we want to. This is where the “Lower self nature” and the “Higher

self nature” come into play.

Now, IF we love the one who counts most - Everything else takes second place. Priorities

in order now, nothing can hurt or harm or hinder us, if we don’t allow it to. We end this

day saying sincerely, “I have given it my all, I have walked my farthest mile and I have

tried my best”.

What do I choose to see deep inside of me today?

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“Family Face” Blog #73

What is hidden far back in my family I want to forget?

Why is it somethings are just too painful to forgive?

Who is a person I cannot bring myself to love unconditionally?

So often in our past there has been unexplained hurt and sadness and pain that never

gets resolved. We go through life leaving it alone. We try to forget to remember, but

then at the oddest moments something brings us back, way back.

I remember a time in my life when I had moved out of the family home and I was on my

own living in another state. I came home for Christmas because I also knew my father

was ill. But then again, part of me didn’t want to care. Part of me remembered all the

pain from my childhood and I just wanted to hurry up and get the holidays behind me

and then leave. I lived for the moment. I looked at life for what I could get out of it. I

refused to forget or forgive. I had little faith.

That one Christmas was the last time I ever saw my father alive. Later into the next year,

I had a best friend that called me and told me my father was dying. “why don’t you

come home and see him?” she had said. “He’s not going to be here long.” I pretended it

wasn’t that bad. I made myself believe she was wrong. I refused to even think about it.

Yet, there was a part of me that knew, a part of me that always knew the real truth. My

father had been a raging drunk his whole life. He had made my mother and all their

children cry and be afraid and live in fear day in and day out. A part of me thought, “why

SHOULD I go home at the end?” I don’t want to see him anyway. But then months later,

he DID die. Then it was all over. Then there was no more deciding, wondering,

deliberately pushing it all away.

I could only go home to his funeral now. The after thoughts, the wishing it could be

different and all the unspoken words are exactly that. They remain hanging in the air. It’s

like the itch on your back you can’t reach to scratch. So irritating. Life is like that. Life is

never really is as it seems. We are born into a family, to learn powerful lessons. My

lesson was to learn to forgive…..regardless. My lesson is still to forgive, regardless. My

lesson with my family has been ongoing. So much of my life was all about “stuff”, getting

stuff, acquiring stuff, wanting more stuff. This is where I got caught up in being “In being

OF the world and not IN the world”.

If I am all about more and more materialistic stuff and not about the people I am with,

then life becomes meaningless. Life becomes worthless. Life becomes empty. I do not

believe I was born into my family who I lived with to only remember pain and more pain

day after day after day. I am saying that as I look back, I must be able to forgive

regardless. WHY? Because it is the right thing to do.

My past pain, gives me understanding deep within myself, of my family and myself.

My past pain? Letting it go It frees me from my anger, hatred and regret. IF I cannot

learn to do this, I believe I will be given more lessons in this area of growth until I can

learn to forgive unconditionally.

So many of us have said; “Why me, God? Why do I have to go through all this?

IF we can come to trust that God does NOT give us any more than HE knows we can

handle, then and only then can we see that each of us are given our share of “Life’s

lessons to learn what ONLY HE knows each of us need to learn. All of us have different

lessons to learn and it is because of this that we cannot possibly judge another human

soul, regardless of how much anger we have. Today I have been constantly reminded of

this over and over in one situation or another. However, this is WHEN we experience truth,

and love and forgiveness.

Real growth does not just happen.

Real inner growth takes time and more time.

Eventually we become wiser.

Therefore I remember its important that I must pray daily for:

“discipline, discernment and detachment.”

I have to detach myself from a situation that I know I cannot fix.

I have to have discernment (Understanding) to know when to step back.

I have to discipline my day in every single hour and stay focused on my faith.

Therefore I share the following poem now:

“I asked God……”

I asked God for strength,

and God gave me a difficult life to make me strong.

I asked God for wisdom,

and God gave me more problems to solve.

I asked God to be successful and

God gave me a brain to work with.

So then I asked God for courage

and God gave me more dangers to overcome.

Then I asked God for patience;

and God placed me in situations where I was forced to wait.

Sadly, I asked God for love,

and God gave me more troubled people to help.

When I asked God for more favors,

God gave me more opportunities,

I received nothing I had asked for,

Yet, I received everything I needed.

All my prayers had been answered,

I have been richly blessed.

Written by Unknown.

I know that life is hard. Life can be lonely and life can be very difficult. However, life is

worth living because beauty, true beauty, does exist. Good things are truly ahead of us.

HE is the reason for all my good life. To have faith in something as small as a mustard

seed” is Faith. HE is always here for us. When I let go and remember that Jesus gave us

the most important message of all. He brought beauty and miracles and healing to

anyone and everyone that saw him. Yet, it was not enough, he was killed anyway

because of the darkness. As he hung on that cross, his last words are meant for each of

us to remember how important forgiveness is. After HE died everyone truly saw TRUTH!

The earth quaked, the heavens opened, Angels came forth and proved HIS light!

Forgiveness exists for each and every one of our family members, if we are open. This is

where I know I must start. I must face my own family forgiveness. It must start there.

There is a reason WHY we were born into the family we have. Each of us have a powerful

lesson of our own to learn. For all the pain, all the hate, all the evil that was done. Still HE

hung there and with HIS last dying breath, the man Jesus did not call all his legions of

angels to him and have them take HIM off of that cross. Instead he kept HIS humanity in

tact and with his last dying breath said,

“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

“CAN I BRING MYSELF TO FORGIVE A FAMILY MEMBER TODAY?”

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“A Lost Life” Blog #72

What triggers someone to give up?

Why do people choose the wrong relationships?

When will a person decide “enough is enough”?

Two years ago this day, I lost my beloved daughter, Bridget forevermore. She is gone

now and there is nothing to do to bring her back. However, if any one person can gleam

a positive fact for their own life that can, and should and will keep them from giving

up…..this Blog is working.

At the end of this month, finally after two years of waiting, I will be allowed to go to a

cemetery and see my daughter interred in a grave. Her remains have not been dealt

with until now. Never able to have a funeral for her, It has been unsettling for two whole

years. As her mother, I had absolutely no rights. Though she was separated at the time

she died - she was still married. A spouse is always the one in charge. Remember this.

It may be important. So fast forward now two years later on the anniversary of my

daughter Bridget’s death, I have been told there will be an internment before the end of

this month. Every person needs to be remembered with truth, dignity and reflections on

“that persons life”. Honesty. Integrity. Goodness. These are the qualities every single

person should look for in any and all relationships.

I have decided since I initially started this Blog in my daughters honor, I will give her this

final resting space to share my “Graveside Reflection” to her. I intend to read this when I

go. Perhaps you can gleam some truth somewhere.

“Bridget Laura Elizabeth was baptized into the Catholic faith and took her first

communion at 8 years old from St. Patricks Church. She grew into a lovely adult and

went to mass whenever she possibly could. Bridget was funny, intelligent and beautiful.

She attended private schools from an early age then graduated from high school with

excellent grades. Bridget was accepted into Indiana University. Gaining a membership

into a top sorority, her college years were filled with study, laughter and fun. Finishing

school with a semester abroad in Seville, Spain. Bridget had a sense of dress design and

style unique only to her. She loved to talk and give advice on just about anything!

Ending four years of college at Indiana, she obtained a Marketing/Creative Arts Degree.

Bridget then moved to Chicago and over the next few years, she obtained a Master

Degree in Early Childhood Education. She taught 2nd and 3rd grade at a Private School.

While teaching, Bridget met her future husband. Together they went on to create two

sons. They also had a successful business as well. Bridget had a great love for family

and an even bigger heart for her husbands first born son and his entire family. Yet

amidst Bridget’s Christ-light blessings, she was given free will to make tough choices of

Good vs. Evil. She gave in to dangerous vices of smoking, drinking and drugs. So filled

with confusion, darkness and despair, Bridget’s last days of sickness turn to death. Now

as painful as it is to remember, we reflect on Bridgets beauty. For she loved so many

beautiful things. This was her true essence. The gifted, good, loving Bridget. For she was

a daughter, a wife and above all, a Mother. She loved God and baptized both her boys

and took them to church. She planned all her boys birthdays and fun events at home.

For home was where Bridget played the piano and sang. Here Bridget decorated, gladly

gardened and did outdoor plantings. The gifts of her scrapbooking, glass angels and

framed family picture,s, are all that remain. Her cherished home where Bridget enjoyed

baking Christmas cookies and making Gingerbread houses with her two little boys.

Preparing all those delicious meals, all just a memory now. At the end of her life we see

there was so much good to embrace in her life. We know the Bridget who we truly loved,

remember and miss, is therefore her true essence. So It’s her laughter she leaves us with

today, in a way that only our Bridget can leave us. She tosses her head, and laughing

lightly, her long blonde hair, cascades in waves around and about her flawless face, as

she turns smiling and says; “Seriously?… Its only goodbye for now.” Jesus holds her

tenderly as HE gently comforts, erases and clears away her pain. Her Guardian Angel

Michael is right there beside her too. So trusting in Jesus, we close our eyes, we fold our

hands, and, we let her go. We give her back. All the while knowing, we will always have

her in our hearts, in our prayers, and in our memory. Lastly Jesus waits with her too. Until

someday he knows, we are all to be together once again.”

This is my final tribute to my dear daughter as she is laid to rest in a beautiful place

beneath an old oak tree. May she finally Rest In Peace.

I leave you with the light of God surrounding each and every one of your days. I sincerely

pray today that you have the opportunity to appreciate something special about

someone special who may be very close to you. For we can never take one single day

for granted.

Do I know what my purpose is today?

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“I Want What?” Blog #71

What is it that brings me the greatest satisfaction?

Where do I get my best ideas, thoughts and awareness?

How do I go from feeling sad to happy, bad to good?

l had to take my son to get a haircut and it was a place neither of us had been. When

we got there it was obvious by people coming and going, this was a hip place to be. My

son had lucked out. He was with a very funny, young Italian barber who never stopped

talking. None of the other barbers did either, and it was like a scene from the movie

“Coming to America”. At any rate, suddenly one of the barbers took off his apron and

said to the room, “IF my client comes in, tell him he was thirty minutes late and I’m outta

here…” Then he just left! Another twenty minutes went by and shortly after this, a young,

arrigant well-dressed man walked in. He said, “I’m here for my appointment”. One of the

other barbers told him he was very late now and he had lost his appointment. The man

did not seem to care. He kept standing there. He kept waiting, yet no one paid attention

to him anymore. Then He said I am here! Suddenly the barber who he had an

appointment with originally, walked in the door. This barber looked right at the man and

said, “Not only are you forty five minutes late, but you lied about when your appointment

was!” I booked you in at ten and that’s when I was here. I waited fifteen minutes, that’s

my limit. It was very clear who was in control and who was in charge and held the

reigns to this situation. The whole room went quiet. Then the Barber said, “Now if you can

tell the truth, admit you were late, I can give you the haircut…. What do you want?” The

man became sheepish. He apologized to the barber. He saw immediately this barber

had integrity. The barber refused to be lied to. He would not give the man a haircut until

his demands were met. The barber would not allow another person to lie to him or

disrespect him. Clearing the air, he stated his demands. His demands were met. I

immediately liked this barber. I thought, ”If only all of us could figure things out and move

on this way.” Live by this motto:

Tell the truth from the start. Show up for myself. Know what I want.”

Very few of us realize how much we’re tested every single day. Not to just do the right

thing, but to want the “right things in life”.

An example in my life I learned recently from something as simple as grocery shopping.

We all go to the grocery store. Do we know healthy, delicious good food to buy?

Sometimes we do. Most of the time, we buy the usual. We fill our cart with what we

want, which doesn’t mean it is the best choice. Then we stand in line. Standing in a long

line behind other peoples overflowing carts, I was getting frustrated. Then I overheard a

conversation in front of me. It went like this, “Oh… I see you have some very healthy

looking pizzas there, but is cauliflower crust really any good?” A handsome younger man

who appeared to be in perfect shape answered the woman. “Not only is it good, but I

looked into so many varieties and found this one to be less expensive. It’s tasty and

really healthy for you”. I thought of my own set ways. The only pizzas we were willing to

buy. Now when I grocery shop, I research better. When it comes to pizza, we eat

delicious califlour crust!

What I want is asked of me throughout my life. From what I eat, to where I go, to who I

decide to bring into my life for relationships. People are constantly testing other people

in so many ways, especially to see who can be boss!

What do I want now? I know I want to be respected.

Nothing brings a person more pain, darkness and sad thinking than to have a person be

disrespected. So many hidden ways it begins, grows then continues. The rolling of the

eyes, turning ones back on whose speaking, the interruptions mid sentence when

sharing a point of view. Insults, screams, swearing. Can this change? Can people be

respected and treat each other differently after long periods of time? The answer is YES,

and it’s all up to me. Quite simply put, IF I want to be respected, I must show up for me

today. I need to learn to love myself. I have to create important boundaries..

When my son got his hair cut, I watched how, if only for a brief moment the entire barber

shop was waiting….. waiting to see whether e barber would cut the mans hair, or not. It

all depended on “how it was handled”. Now the man needing a haircut, realized he had

to meet the barbers’ demands. THIS barber had principles and he insisted on an

apology before he gave any haircut!

I realized this past Sunday I too, had been given a choice to show how I needed to be

respected by a family member. A young family member informed me they had decided

they “didn’t feel like going to church anymore and would be staying home”. Immediately

we confiscated technology. We said, “This is our family home. We go to church together

as a family, until you are of age to do differently or choose not to live with your family”.

Funny, how this got attention big time. We all went to church together as a family. It

takes a lot of energy sometimes just to show up for ourself. Very often, we need to be

specific in creating our own boundaries. Even more so, it takes courage to do the right

thing. I keep remembering our children are our future and we need to raise them with

good examples at home. My children must know about the man Jesus Christ. HE is

always there for them. The world is tilting on its axis, going into overload with darkness

coming out of every corner. Still, our children come to us for answers. Can we give them

the truth?

We can when we know there is that bright divine light under every cloud of darkness.

I know this to be true. I believe in the Christ light. For It is HE who made me in HIS image

because my body is the temple of God. Therefore, I deserve nothing less then respect,

truth and honesty. I pray to live this way every single day.

“Not my will be done , but YOUR will be done in my life Lord today”

The greatest love is inside me. It all starts with believing in LOVE. I deserve respect in all I

do. There will be challenges. Other people will be around to try somehow to shake my

confidence, create havoc and attempt to disrespect me. It won’t work. For now, I AM

working on me. Boundaries in place, invincible bounderies now, all is well. I feel healthy,

whole and well. A wonderful book I am currently reading called; “The Power in You”

teaches how positive affirmations throughout ones day work. The book states it is

important to start looking at oneself as a great piece of art work. So I say now, I am

unique. There is no one person like me. I am a masterpiece. I say this all day long.

Respect is automatic. There are no gray areas. There is only. dark and light. I accept the

Christ light. HIS light, HIS power, always the “greatest Love of all.” Standing by this, I know

what I want each day.

Do You know what you want in your life today?

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“Empty Expectation” Blog #70

Am I afraid of other people’s personalities?

Do I try to make life better for someone every day?

What do I expect from my life on a daily basis?

As I breathe in deeply, after I awake each morning, I immediately pray. I thank God for a

new start. Now I begin my day and what are my expectations? Who do I expect to be

there for me? In the back of my mind, is there someone who may have let me down?

Better still, is it unreasonable for me to have expectations? There are some expectations

that go without saying whether we are children or adults. We expect our government to

keep us safe. We live in a democracy. Yet, everything is NOT black and white. People

that run goverhments have choices to make every day. Unless we keep our eyes on

what’s happening, chaos can ensue.

We have expectations from our teachers that teach our children, yet we are not there

inside the classroom, watching what they put into little minds day in and day out. It

helps to remember who watches over each of us. HE is always there as my anchor, to

sift out false expectations. IF I can try to remember this, I am less anxious. At the core of

my expectations, sits myself. What DO I expect each and every day?

If we have a spouse and children, there are silent expectations required to be fulfilled.

Each of us know if we let ourself down daily..

Define “Expectation:” - “A strong belief that something will happen or be that case

in the future, achieve something important….”

Strong emotions and the fact I want to change something in someone I see, can be

a problem. My emotions can completely affect my own expectations. There are many

of us who believe we have tried our best in a situation and it has gone from bad to

worse. We may feel certain people involved have turned their back on us. They have

given us the cold shoulder so to speak, and distanced themselves indefinitely. Its so

hard to come to grips with expectations day in and day out.

IF we had to sit down and make a plan with an “end result in sight”, I doubt very much

many of us could do that. Instead, we go forward with a make shift attitude of

“I’ll think about that tomorrow”.

Life becomes over bearing when needs are not met and raw emotions take over.

We cannot turn to HIM unless we pray for help. Then we feel fixed in the moment of

peace. We let go and are able to say, “I DO NOT NEED TO FIX SOMEONE ELSE TODAY.”

At the end of the year, some of us sit down and make resolutions for the New Year.

There are promises we make that involve change. Changing what? With all the

questions and the reasoning and rationalizing we come to this one fact:

Each of us is responsible ONLY for ourself. So I start the day now and say,

I AM OPEN TO TRUTH. I am ready to let go of unreasonable expectations. They are empty

and they have no value except to weigh my heart down with empty sad emotion. An

example of what I refer to. is this: All through my childhood and on into my adulthood I

said a prayer: “Please God help my daddy to stop drinking.” I was still saying this,

praying this, at times, without thinking, long after he died. I had an expectation that was

unrealistic. It turned out to be empty. It caused me to start drinking. When we focus on

falsehoods, they become reality to each of us.

Whether it be a promise from someone else, an expectation that goes unfilled, or an

idea of how someone should be there for me.. These are expectations of another

person. We walk on slippery slopes when we expect any one person to live up to or do

something or be someone who they are not.

Now I preface this with stating as parents we are expected to guide and guard and

protect our children into adulthood. This is our job and we have a ‘parent report card”

to earn day in and day out. IF we as parents, slack off on the job - If we drink, verbally

abuse, assault and demean our children, it comes back in spades to haunt us.

Currently I have had an expectation of a person to clearly “do the right thing”.. Now,

put off for almost a month. I had clear expectations. I expected a plan and a date. This was my downfall. This brought on depression, anxiety and grief. Because of my unrealistic expectation from a person I knew who was not trustworthy, I allowed myself to go into overload” I brought myself overwhelming sadness, obsessive thinking and worry. All because I trusted someone with no integrity.

But then…….I remembered to pra

NOW I see after praying, I had “empty expectations with no outcome I\

I am better than this. must remember who I am. I am in control of ME.

I think healthy thoughts. I associate with people who are honest. . I create my own boundaries and I abide in them.

There are some families who have relationship issues. Because of this there are

many unfullfilled expectations. Loneliness begets bitterness;. Some times

expecting to hear from family member. This is where an understanding heart, letting go

and moving on works wonders. Look at your expectation like this: Try to accept the

person where they are. Then don’t expect anything in return.

I have realized over the years that “just because its family doesn’t mean a get together”.

Some family members “check in once awhile” (makes them feel good).

Above all, it cannot benefit me to push myself on another human being.. Here is the crutch, when I accept this. I cannot go back and say or think or dwell on any of the parts of my life where I felt I helped that person, or did this or that. If I felt I am owed

something….. It’s painful and emotional and wrong. It’s time to let go of all that “stuff”. People have to WANT to see each other.

I know you probably think, “Well, how can I make memories with family who have distanced themselves?” Maybe the time is not right. Accept this. Today is today.

Yesterday, last month, last year are gone. I cannot turn my family around, only me.

I cannot make them care differently. This is where my own sanity takes on a

life of its own. We know when we do the right thing.when we pray, when we

invite the Holy Spirit into our heart and listen. Now we have a feeling of calm.

Anything else, is NOT truth. Other emotions of anger, a grudge and spite

are cast off. I am surrounded in HIS love, light and protection now.

I seek out people who are healthy. I bring people in my life that respect me. I

only accept truth from myself and others. When I live this way, sometimes these people become closer than family.. When we detach from the “what ifs”,

discernment, detachment and discipline step right into play. My life is calmer.

Most importantly, I am respected. Now people seek me out because of my

goodness NOT my caretaking, lying or sense of hopelessness.

I POST THIS ON MY MIRROR OR REFRIG;

1. I SET CLEAR EXPECTATIONS FOR MYSELF

2. I STATE TO MYSELF WHAT MY NEEDS ARE

3. I EXPLAIN TO MYSELF, WHY I FEEL LIKE I DO

4. I PROVIDE HEALTHY CONDITIONS FOR MYSELF

5. I SEEK HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS & TRUST OUTCOME

6. I PRAY FOR MY HIGHEST GOOD & HIGHEST GOOD FOR ALL

I realize sometimes it is necessary to send a letter, I have no false expectations. The game of life with those I interact: involves preparing, planning and prayer. It is not. my job to change someones thinking. It is not my job to control others in any way. IT IS my job to forgive, forget and move on. It is my job to RESPECT MYSELF. It is my job to do the best I can with tools I am given and learn MY lessons, IN DOING THIS, I help others too.

Can I let go of empty expectations?

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“Distant Damage” Blog #69

So many of us are afraid to live HIS truth.

We run the other way, We distance ourselves.

We find different damage.

The escape begins day in and day out, above all, we do not come out of our safe place.

Easy to hide out at home. Shove honest feelings far away, refusing to tell others what’s

unsaid. Yet, we are suppose to be Ministers to one another in and of truth. Know this to

be true: The enemy prince of darkness has no hold or power over us! Feel truth

internally. The heart says DO the right thing. Then the head rationalizes, “It’s just plain

futile”. This is how dark habits form. Days, weeks, months and years go by, creating

distant damage. Emeshed in a distorted truth is ones lonely reality. What is left is

hidden halves of ourselves. So we exist judging and blaming and alone. Actually we

continue to make chiseled choices over and over again. Head, not the heart, takes

charge. We become OF the world, not spiritual beings IN the world. See how tricky life

can become? Yet, no one person is meant to stay in darkness.

One always is given choice. Living with people in darkness, refusing the light, only brings

in more darkness. We are all meant to be healthy, seek light and grow!

“Our bodies ARE the Temple of God.”

So, I choose people to be in my life wisely. I’m checking now, I am always checking, is

my world light-filled? Is there blame, resentment, gossip? These are dark, material

weapons that only appear to work. They camouflage truth with an umbrella of illusion.

This makes me look at life from a distance, and my life eventually becomes cold,

isolated, intolerable. This is all temporary comfort, my friend. IF in darkness, this is where

I hide out. Been there, done that. I will not go back. I remind myself how short life truly

is. There is an old saying, “You will never see a hearse with a luggage rack on it”.

This means essentially - you cannot take anything with you when you leave. Therefore,

we are all built to do the right thing now. Unafraid, I must do what counts.

Because HE is watching me.

There are healthy ones out there. Healthy, honest, spiritual people. People that are

loving, supportive and good. I go and find them. I identify with them. I change my

attitude slowly each day. I want to be authentic, forgiving and good too. Above all, I

want to have a spiritual approach to all of my life and pray each day,

“Dear Lord, Let thy will NOT my will be done today”.

Leaving a damaged past behind, I seek healthy minds who have lives that work. These

are the ones that KNOW good triumphs over evil! Therefore, I understand that “like

minds find and know each other, they give support to each other”!

Now at a triangular point in my life, I admit who, what and why I refused to change.

I shed the outer, unwanted shell of myself as an empty cocoon. I go on to memorize this

SERENITY PRAYER

“GOD GRANT ME THE WISDOM TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE,

THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS THAT I CAN,

AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE”.

Moving quickly, I do not look back, and realizing my new start, I pray for discipline,

discernment and detachment. The dark zone is now gone. This life I am walking into

becomes lighter, brighter and manageable. For HE is the key to shedding my distant

darkness. Hands together I pray:

“Thank you, Dear Lord, for my healthy life”

I know now; I can pick up the phone, call a family member if years have gone by, I can

show by my words that I have kindness in my resolve. I have confidence and

conviction. I am willing to be tested by different people, yet still stay strong. Even

though a family member, or friend has not been there for me, I can say what needs to

be said firmly in forgiveness, move on and hang up. From a distance God whispers in

my ear, “I am in your heart, its time to start over, leave the distant darkness with not

one regret”.

“Can I remove darkness from my distant past?”

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“Fixed on Failure” Blog #68

Only I know what is missing in my life.

Only I know why I keep getting stuck.

Only I KNOW I can fix me.

So where DO I begin? Here’s a great motto,

“The one who falls and gets up is so much stronger than the one who never fell.”

Now, I look where I’ve came from - I don’t want to go back, making the same mistakes.

I write down on a piece of paper exactly this - “Help me Heal Lord”.

I TAPE IT TO MY REFRIGERATOR. Then, I write down my “biggest goal”. It’s working.

NOW I begin to find my courage (just for today) Its like an invisible muscle within me,

it just keeps getting stronger and stronger. This doesn’t mean I am not afraid at times,

it just means my courage will not let my fear stop me. Today is all mine. No one can

take that away from me. So I go forward now, with a baby step. I make my OWN PLAN.

I start saying quietly and internally and cry into the night, “I Cannot do it alone”.

“It’s because of YOU, I will not give up, show me my tools” NOW I feel that fear and

have courage anyway! My inner strength is growing and its unbelievable. This is what I

need to tell myself today. I am a survivor 100% of all my past challenges. Lots of the

past was rocky, yet that was where I learned from my greatest heartache. I truly

believe my odds are very hlgh, I can and will, survive whatever comes next. Whether it

is a person that tries to sabbage me, I bless them on and leave them alone. Whether it

is a “past vice of alcohol or drugs” I say: that was the shell of the old me. I look at past

as a caterpillar on the ground and I am becoming the Monarch Butterfly! I AM AWARE

now that I cannot control what happens to me today - YET I will control 100% how I

respond to the situation. I have so many powerful coping tools and they all start with

HIM. My Savior is the strongest light energy within me. Everything else is next. Starting

today I AM going to “design my own day”. I can fantasize a perfect outcome. I can

write down all my needs. I can start my “Penny Jar” one day at a time, I AM learning to

overcome ADVERSITY IN MY OWN LIFE. I know it is all up to ME.

Listen to this truth, “IT TAKES MORE ENERGY TO WORRY ABOUT SOMETHING THAN TO

SMILE AND SAY I AM GOING TO START OVER NOW, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS”. Here is a

little visual, watch the dog chasing his tail…watch the dog chasing his tail ….. “Keep doing

the same things over and over and keep expecting different results”. That is actually

the definition of “Insanity” attributed to Albert Einstein.

Even in Alanon they teach that peoples lives have become powerless over alcohol

and our lives have become unmanageable. They have come to believe that a “Power

greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity”.

Wow! That was written decades ago and millions of people swear by that verbage.

I really believe that when my life is comfortable and easy and good, that is NOT when I

am tested the most. I am tested big time when my life is really difficult. We are a

school in and onto ourself. We need to start each school day looking in the mirror and

remembering this poem:

The Man in the Mirror.

by: Dale Winbrow

When you get what you want in your struggle for self,

and the world makes you king for a day,

Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,

and see what that guy has to say.

For it isn’t your mother, your father or wife,

whose judgement upon you must pass,

but the person whose verdict counts most in your life,

is the one staring back from the glass.

That’s the person to please,

never mind all the rest,

For he’s with you right to the end,

and you’ve passed the most dangerous, difficult test,

IF the one in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum,

and think you’re a wonderful guy,

But the one in the glass,

says you’re only a bum,

IF you can’t look him straight in the eye!

You can fool the whole world,

down the highway of years,

and get pats on the back as you pass,

But your final reward will be heartache and tears,

IF you’ve cheated that man in the glass.

I WILL TAKE A RISK TODAY AND LOOK AT THAT LIST I MADE LAST NIGHT. IT’S A LIST OF WHO I

AM TODAY, WHAT I GIVE UP TODAY. I AM NOT AFRAID OF TODAY. THERE IS AN IRONIC TWIST

TO LIVING, TRYING EACH DAY OUT. IT HAS TO DO WITH LETTING GO OF NEGATIVE HABITS.

THE BEST PART OF ALL OF THIS IS THE JOURNEY. BECAUSE I KNOW ACHIEVILNG MY GOAL JUST

IN DEALING WITH THE DAILY STRUGGLE OF TRYING EACH DAY AND SEEING WHO I AM

BECOMING. IS “ONE DAY AT A TIME”. THAT IS ALL I HAVE. So today I realize, YES, something

bad happened to me in my past.

THIS DOES NOT DEFINE WHO I AM TODAY.

I can only get stronger accepting this truth. I am not my past. Today I am healthy.

I know I CAN get outside and walk and work out every day for 30 minutes and this will

release natural endorphins into my brain, so it DOES HELP ME RELAX.

This is a good start for me. I accept my new mental attitude in knowing this,

I have given all my failures I cannot fix, to HIM. My Lord keeps me safe and keeps my

fear of failure from destroying me. The darkness is at bay. I have a new plan, with a

new way and a brand new day. HE is my Living Hope.

”Can I forget failure and start my new plan today?

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“My Job?” Blog #67

So, how is my life working out for me so far?

What do I see for myself ahead?

What is my purpose here anyway? It’s a fact that once I say one true thing and stick

with it, all kinds of truth comes pouring into my life. So often we want the '“grass that is

greener on the other side of the street.” We are not able to see what is in front of us.

What are the opportunities that I have right now that I can develop? More often then

not, it is a fact of life that faith takes a back burner in so many peoples lives. “All this

stuff about religion and God, why do I need it anyway?” one says. In 2020, no more than

47% of U.S. adults belonged to a church, synagogue or mosque. That has fallen apart

now even lower in frightening numbers too great to even share. Americans now “feel”

they have no need for church and have better things to do.

Yet over the years, the average American has little information or any knowledge as to

“why they exactly feel the way that they do”. This brings in many troubling situations.

Unless a person believes they can go through life without a single “hiccup”, a person

needs to find a way to “find personal purpose” in life. A person needs to hear truth.

Why is purpose necessary? Without purpose a person has difficulty believing

in one self. So, what exactly do I value in life? What IS important to me at

the end of the day? My life has taken me completely full circle. I have experienced

more heartache than I could even believe possible. I was raised a 911/SOS Christian

and sort of knew going to church was a good thing to do. However, only because I was

told to go. NO one person ever explained anything to me about the man Jesus.

I knew nothing about my Christian faith, nor was I even interested. I poured myself into

my job and when I was given tragedy, I became a workaholic. My job was

everything to me. Needless to say, my health suffered, my life suffered and I must

admit.

When we are down, when we are at the end of our rope, then we “ask for internal help”.

Now heaven opens and HE steps in. Miracles DO happen. Life takes on new meaning.

My job was so distorted. I thought so wrong. I lived backwards..

My job is to learn about me. Why was I put here and what can I do to evolve?

When I pray for help, I am given clarity. I SEE my lessons daily in helping others.

There is a remarkable amount of knowledge out there to learn and gleam from.

After years of my study and research. I believe beyond the shadow of doubt this:

Jesus was a real person. He lived and walked among all people. He showed thousands of people miracles he performed and then went on to give the Holy Spirit to his disciples who also went out and performed miracles in his name. Jesus knew who he was, he knew HIS job. He showed humanity the real definition oflove as last words professed; “Father forgive them, they know now what they do”.

Yet today families see no need for church. Parents are raising their children without

Baptism, without any knowledge of Jesus Christ. How will these children evolve and

learn ,what their true job in life is? Can a parent help a suicidal child by just saying:

don’t do it “just because?” What in the whole world makes life worth living?

I am going to share fascinating facts with you about various peoples “Jobs in life”.

Sir Walter Raleigh believed he found remnants of Noahs Ark and traveled to India

to do more research. B. B. Lal, a very famous researcher, came upon a shocking find

in an old English attic. He and Leonard Simmons, along with Dr. Irving Finkle transcribed

a small golden tablet from this attic that was a missing link to Noahs Ark! This is a

4000 year old tablet. The Indian architects went on to recreate a facsimile of the

real Noahs Ark. They followed directions found on the tablet. They built a replica of

the Ark 4300 square yards, twenty feet tall and circular. When the architects and

builders were done, the boat weighted thirty-five tons. They used only ropes and wood

to build this replica. Finally finished, they launched the boat into the Indian Ocean and

it floated and the boat did not sink! What a beautiful job they did to show others.

Right now in the Vatican City of Rome there are fifty three miles of hidden treasures

going back through the years, all connecting to Jesus. In Ethiopia there exist a shrine

that is said to be the Ark of the Covenant - the last cup Jesus drank from at his last

supper. There is and has been, such intense heat coming from the encasement

building that surrounds the Ark, it has been necessary to build a larger building to

encase it. There is a soldier that stands guard in front on the premises 24 hours a day

and he does this for his whole life. This is his job! When he dies, he is replaced with

another solder standing guard. A man named Barfields found a copy of the Dead Sea

scrolls engraved on a copper scroll. He made it his job to find this proof of existence

just like so many hundreds and thousands of historians and architects continue to do,

so you may believe. This is their job day in and day out.

How much work have each of us done to explore the history of the man Jesus?

I personally believe in the force of light energy. This protects me from darkness. The

force of Jesus Christ. is here now. My job is to continue to learn, study and grow as a

testimony to HIS light. Each day I learn more, I feel safer.

There have been times in my past when my own life felt a complete disconnect to what

was going on around me. Even when I was busy with a productive job I worked at.

I felt an undercurrent of fear of being all alone. It’s always hard to face, this feeling of

being all alone. Yet in the aloneness comes awareness. In my sadness came serenity.

In my darkness comes discernment, direction and discipline to balance my day.

It’s ironic in this crazy, busy, noisy world of ours to say “but I feel alone…..” I know there

are those of us who have to find a fix in drinks, pills or the wrong people around

them. However, this will never be enough. Only look inside to see truth quietly waiting.

The real job is to learn about me, WHO AM I ? I do know this+ I am never alone…

“Am I ready to learn and accept my true job?”

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW