“Fixed on Failure” Blog #68
Only I know what is missing in my life.
Only I know why I keep getting stuck.
Only I KNOW I can fix me.
So where DO I begin? Here’s a great motto,
“The one who falls and gets up is so much stronger than the one who never fell.”
Now, I look where I’ve came from - I don’t want to go back, making the same mistakes.
I write down on a piece of paper exactly this - “Help me Heal Lord”.
I TAPE IT TO MY REFRIGERATOR. Then, I write down my “biggest goal”. It’s working.
NOW I begin to find my courage (just for today) Its like an invisible muscle within me,
it just keeps getting stronger and stronger. This doesn’t mean I am not afraid at times,
it just means my courage will not let my fear stop me. Today is all mine. No one can
take that away from me. So I go forward now, with a baby step. I make my OWN PLAN.
I start saying quietly and internally and cry into the night, “I Cannot do it alone”.
“It’s because of YOU, I will not give up, show me my tools” NOW I feel that fear and
have courage anyway! My inner strength is growing and its unbelievable. This is what I
need to tell myself today. I am a survivor 100% of all my past challenges. Lots of the
past was rocky, yet that was where I learned from my greatest heartache. I truly
believe my odds are very hlgh, I can and will, survive whatever comes next. Whether it
is a person that tries to sabbage me, I bless them on and leave them alone. Whether it
is a “past vice of alcohol or drugs” I say: that was the shell of the old me. I look at past
as a caterpillar on the ground and I am becoming the Monarch Butterfly! I AM AWARE
now that I cannot control what happens to me today - YET I will control 100% how I
respond to the situation. I have so many powerful coping tools and they all start with
HIM. My Savior is the strongest light energy within me. Everything else is next. Starting
today I AM going to “design my own day”. I can fantasize a perfect outcome. I can
write down all my needs. I can start my “Penny Jar” one day at a time, I AM learning to
overcome ADVERSITY IN MY OWN LIFE. I know it is all up to ME.
Listen to this truth, “IT TAKES MORE ENERGY TO WORRY ABOUT SOMETHING THAN TO
SMILE AND SAY I AM GOING TO START OVER NOW, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS”. Here is a
little visual, watch the dog chasing his tail…watch the dog chasing his tail ….. “Keep doing
the same things over and over and keep expecting different results”. That is actually
the definition of “Insanity” attributed to Albert Einstein.
Even in Alanon they teach that peoples lives have become powerless over alcohol
and our lives have become unmanageable. They have come to believe that a “Power
greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity”.
Wow! That was written decades ago and millions of people swear by that verbage.
I really believe that when my life is comfortable and easy and good, that is NOT when I
am tested the most. I am tested big time when my life is really difficult. We are a
school in and onto ourself. We need to start each school day looking in the mirror and
remembering this poem:
The Man in the Mirror.
by: Dale Winbrow
When you get what you want in your struggle for self,
and the world makes you king for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
and see what that guy has to say.
For it isn’t your mother, your father or wife,
whose judgement upon you must pass,
but the person whose verdict counts most in your life,
is the one staring back from the glass.
That’s the person to please,
never mind all the rest,
For he’s with you right to the end,
and you’ve passed the most dangerous, difficult test,
IF the one in the glass is your friend.
You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum,
and think you’re a wonderful guy,
But the one in the glass,
says you’re only a bum,
IF you can’t look him straight in the eye!
You can fool the whole world,
down the highway of years,
and get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartache and tears,
IF you’ve cheated that man in the glass.
I WILL TAKE A RISK TODAY AND LOOK AT THAT LIST I MADE LAST NIGHT. IT’S A LIST OF WHO I
AM TODAY, WHAT I GIVE UP TODAY. I AM NOT AFRAID OF TODAY. THERE IS AN IRONIC TWIST
TO LIVING, TRYING EACH DAY OUT. IT HAS TO DO WITH LETTING GO OF NEGATIVE HABITS.
THE BEST PART OF ALL OF THIS IS THE JOURNEY. BECAUSE I KNOW ACHIEVILNG MY GOAL JUST
IN DEALING WITH THE DAILY STRUGGLE OF TRYING EACH DAY AND SEEING WHO I AM
BECOMING. IS “ONE DAY AT A TIME”. THAT IS ALL I HAVE. So today I realize, YES, something
bad happened to me in my past.
THIS DOES NOT DEFINE WHO I AM TODAY.
I can only get stronger accepting this truth. I am not my past. Today I am healthy.
I know I CAN get outside and walk and work out every day for 30 minutes and this will
release natural endorphins into my brain, so it DOES HELP ME RELAX.
This is a good start for me. I accept my new mental attitude in knowing this,
I have given all my failures I cannot fix, to HIM. My Lord keeps me safe and keeps my
fear of failure from destroying me. The darkness is at bay. I have a new plan, with a
new way and a brand new day. HE is my Living Hope.
”Can I forget failure and start my new plan today?
NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW