“Empty Expectation” Blog #70
Am I afraid of other people’s personalities?
Do I try to make life better for someone every day?
What do I expect from my life on a daily basis?
As I breathe in deeply, after I awake each morning, I immediately pray. I thank God for a
new start. Now I begin my day and what are my expectations? Who do I expect to be
there for me? In the back of my mind, is there someone who may have let me down?
Better still, is it unreasonable for me to have expectations? There are some expectations
that go without saying whether we are children or adults. We expect our government to
keep us safe. We live in a democracy. Yet, everything is NOT black and white. People
that run goverhments have choices to make every day. Unless we keep our eyes on
what’s happening, chaos can ensue.
We have expectations from our teachers that teach our children, yet we are not there
inside the classroom, watching what they put into little minds day in and day out. It
helps to remember who watches over each of us. HE is always there as my anchor, to
sift out false expectations. IF I can try to remember this, I am less anxious. At the core of
my expectations, sits myself. What DO I expect each and every day?
If we have a spouse and children, there are silent expectations required to be fulfilled.
Each of us know if we let ourself down daily..
Define “Expectation:” - “A strong belief that something will happen or be that case
in the future, achieve something important….”
Strong emotions and the fact I want to change something in someone I see, can be
a problem. My emotions can completely affect my own expectations. There are many
of us who believe we have tried our best in a situation and it has gone from bad to
worse. We may feel certain people involved have turned their back on us. They have
given us the cold shoulder so to speak, and distanced themselves indefinitely. Its so
hard to come to grips with expectations day in and day out.
IF we had to sit down and make a plan with an “end result in sight”, I doubt very much
many of us could do that. Instead, we go forward with a make shift attitude of
“I’ll think about that tomorrow”.
Life becomes over bearing when needs are not met and raw emotions take over.
We cannot turn to HIM unless we pray for help. Then we feel fixed in the moment of
peace. We let go and are able to say, “I DO NOT NEED TO FIX SOMEONE ELSE TODAY.”
At the end of the year, some of us sit down and make resolutions for the New Year.
There are promises we make that involve change. Changing what? With all the
questions and the reasoning and rationalizing we come to this one fact:
Each of us is responsible ONLY for ourself. So I start the day now and say,
I AM OPEN TO TRUTH. I am ready to let go of unreasonable expectations. They are empty
and they have no value except to weigh my heart down with empty sad emotion. An
example of what I refer to. is this: All through my childhood and on into my adulthood I
said a prayer: “Please God help my daddy to stop drinking.” I was still saying this,
praying this, at times, without thinking, long after he died. I had an expectation that was
unrealistic. It turned out to be empty. It caused me to start drinking. When we focus on
falsehoods, they become reality to each of us.
Whether it be a promise from someone else, an expectation that goes unfilled, or an
idea of how someone should be there for me.. These are expectations of another
person. We walk on slippery slopes when we expect any one person to live up to or do
something or be someone who they are not.
Now I preface this with stating as parents we are expected to guide and guard and
protect our children into adulthood. This is our job and we have a ‘parent report card”
to earn day in and day out. IF we as parents, slack off on the job - If we drink, verbally
abuse, assault and demean our children, it comes back in spades to haunt us.
Currently I have had an expectation of a person to clearly “do the right thing”.. Now,
put off for almost a month. I had clear expectations. I expected a plan and a date. This was my downfall. This brought on depression, anxiety and grief. Because of my unrealistic expectation from a person I knew who was not trustworthy, I allowed myself to go into overload” I brought myself overwhelming sadness, obsessive thinking and worry. All because I trusted someone with no integrity.
But then…….I remembered to pra
NOW I see after praying, I had “empty expectations with no outcome I\
I am better than this. must remember who I am. I am in control of ME.
I think healthy thoughts. I associate with people who are honest. . I create my own boundaries and I abide in them.
There are some families who have relationship issues. Because of this there are
many unfullfilled expectations. Loneliness begets bitterness;. Some times
expecting to hear from family member. This is where an understanding heart, letting go
and moving on works wonders. Look at your expectation like this: Try to accept the
person where they are. Then don’t expect anything in return.
I have realized over the years that “just because its family doesn’t mean a get together”.
Some family members “check in once awhile” (makes them feel good).
Above all, it cannot benefit me to push myself on another human being.. Here is the crutch, when I accept this. I cannot go back and say or think or dwell on any of the parts of my life where I felt I helped that person, or did this or that. If I felt I am owed
something….. It’s painful and emotional and wrong. It’s time to let go of all that “stuff”. People have to WANT to see each other.
I know you probably think, “Well, how can I make memories with family who have distanced themselves?” Maybe the time is not right. Accept this. Today is today.
Yesterday, last month, last year are gone. I cannot turn my family around, only me.
I cannot make them care differently. This is where my own sanity takes on a
life of its own. We know when we do the right thing.when we pray, when we
invite the Holy Spirit into our heart and listen. Now we have a feeling of calm.
Anything else, is NOT truth. Other emotions of anger, a grudge and spite
are cast off. I am surrounded in HIS love, light and protection now.
I seek out people who are healthy. I bring people in my life that respect me. I
only accept truth from myself and others. When I live this way, sometimes these people become closer than family.. When we detach from the “what ifs”,
discernment, detachment and discipline step right into play. My life is calmer.
Most importantly, I am respected. Now people seek me out because of my
goodness NOT my caretaking, lying or sense of hopelessness.
I POST THIS ON MY MIRROR OR REFRIG;
I SET CLEAR EXPECTATIONS FOR MYSELF
I STATE TO MYSELF WHAT MY NEEDS ARE
I EXPLAIN TO MYSELF, WHY I FEEL LIKE I DO
I PROVIDE HEALTHY CONDITIONS FOR MYSELF
I SEEK HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS & TRUST OUTCOME
I PRAY FOR MY HIGHEST GOOD & HIGHEST GOOD FOR ALL
I realize sometimes it is necessary to send a letter, I have no false expectations. The game of life with those I interact: involves preparing, planning and prayer. It is not. my job to change someones thinking. It is not my job to control others in any way. IT IS my job to forgive, forget and move on. It is my job to RESPECT MYSELF. It is my job to do the best I can with tools I am given and learn MY lessons, IN DOING THIS, I help others too.
Can I let go of empty expectations?
NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW