“A Lost Life” Blog #72

What triggers someone to give up?

Why do people choose the wrong relationships?

When will a person decide “enough is enough”?

Two years ago this day, I lost my beloved daughter, Bridget forevermore. She is gone

now and there is nothing to do to bring her back. However, if any one person can gleam

a positive fact for their own life that can, and should and will keep them from giving

up…..this Blog is working.

At the end of this month, finally after two years of waiting, I will be allowed to go to a

cemetery and see my daughter interred in a grave. Her remains have not been dealt

with until now. Never able to have a funeral for her, It has been unsettling for two whole

years. As her mother, I had absolutely no rights. Though she was separated at the time

she died - she was still married. A spouse is always the one in charge. Remember this.

It may be important. So fast forward now two years later on the anniversary of my

daughter Bridget’s death, I have been told there will be an internment before the end of

this month. Every person needs to be remembered with truth, dignity and reflections on

“that persons life”. Honesty. Integrity. Goodness. These are the qualities every single

person should look for in any and all relationships.

I have decided since I initially started this Blog in my daughters honor, I will give her this

final resting space to share my “Graveside Reflection” to her. I intend to read this when I

go. Perhaps you can gleam some truth somewhere.

“Bridget Laura Elizabeth was baptized into the Catholic faith and took her first

communion at 8 years old from St. Patricks Church. She grew into a lovely adult and

went to mass whenever she possibly could. Bridget was funny, intelligent and beautiful.

She attended private schools from an early age then graduated from high school with

excellent grades. Bridget was accepted into Indiana University. Gaining a membership

into a top sorority, her college years were filled with study, laughter and fun. Finishing

school with a semester abroad in Seville, Spain. Bridget had a sense of dress design and

style unique only to her. She loved to talk and give advice on just about anything!

Ending four years of college at Indiana, she obtained a Marketing/Creative Arts Degree.

Bridget then moved to Chicago and over the next few years, she obtained a Master

Degree in Early Childhood Education. She taught 2nd and 3rd grade at a Private School.

While teaching, Bridget met her future husband. Together they went on to create two

sons. They also had a successful business as well. Bridget had a great love for family

and an even bigger heart for her husbands first born son and his entire family. Yet

amidst Bridget’s Christ-light blessings, she was given free will to make tough choices of

Good vs. Evil. She gave in to dangerous vices of smoking, drinking and drugs. So filled

with confusion, darkness and despair, Bridget’s last days of sickness turn to death. Now

as painful as it is to remember, we reflect on Bridgets beauty. For she loved so many

beautiful things. This was her true essence. The gifted, good, loving Bridget. For she was

a daughter, a wife and above all, a Mother. She loved God and baptized both her boys

and took them to church. She planned all her boys birthdays and fun events at home.

For home was where Bridget played the piano and sang. Here Bridget decorated, gladly

gardened and did outdoor plantings. The gifts of her scrapbooking, glass angels and

framed family picture,s, are all that remain. Her cherished home where Bridget enjoyed

baking Christmas cookies and making Gingerbread houses with her two little boys.

Preparing all those delicious meals, all just a memory now. At the end of her life we see

there was so much good to embrace in her life. We know the Bridget who we truly loved,

remember and miss, is therefore her true essence. So It’s her laughter she leaves us with

today, in a way that only our Bridget can leave us. She tosses her head, and laughing

lightly, her long blonde hair, cascades in waves around and about her flawless face, as

she turns smiling and says; “Seriously?… Its only goodbye for now.” Jesus holds her

tenderly as HE gently comforts, erases and clears away her pain. Her Guardian Angel

Michael is right there beside her too. So trusting in Jesus, we close our eyes, we fold our

hands, and, we let her go. We give her back. All the while knowing, we will always have

her in our hearts, in our prayers, and in our memory. Lastly Jesus waits with her too. Until

someday he knows, we are all to be together once again.”

This is my final tribute to my dear daughter as she is laid to rest in a beautiful place

beneath an old oak tree. May she finally Rest In Peace.

I leave you with the light of God surrounding each and every one of your days. I sincerely

pray today that you have the opportunity to appreciate something special about

someone special who may be very close to you. For we can never take one single day

for granted.

Do I know what my purpose is today?

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“I Want What?” Blog #71

What is it that brings me the greatest satisfaction?

Where do I get my best ideas, thoughts and awareness?

How do I go from feeling sad to happy, bad to good?

l had to take my son to get a haircut and it was a place neither of us had been. When

we got there it was obvious by people coming and going, this was a hip place to be. My

son had lucked out. He was with a very funny, young Italian barber who never stopped

talking. None of the other barbers did either, and it was like a scene from the movie

“Coming to America”. At any rate, suddenly one of the barbers took off his apron and

said to the room, “IF my client comes in, tell him he was thirty minutes late and I’m outta

here…” Then he just left! Another twenty minutes went by and shortly after this, a young,

arrigant well-dressed man walked in. He said, “I’m here for my appointment”. One of the

other barbers told him he was very late now and he had lost his appointment. The man

did not seem to care. He kept standing there. He kept waiting, yet no one paid attention

to him anymore. Then He said I am here! Suddenly the barber who he had an

appointment with originally, walked in the door. This barber looked right at the man and

said, “Not only are you forty five minutes late, but you lied about when your appointment

was!” I booked you in at ten and that’s when I was here. I waited fifteen minutes, that’s

my limit. It was very clear who was in control and who was in charge and held the

reigns to this situation. The whole room went quiet. Then the Barber said, “Now if you can

tell the truth, admit you were late, I can give you the haircut…. What do you want?” The

man became sheepish. He apologized to the barber. He saw immediately this barber

had integrity. The barber refused to be lied to. He would not give the man a haircut until

his demands were met. The barber would not allow another person to lie to him or

disrespect him. Clearing the air, he stated his demands. His demands were met. I

immediately liked this barber. I thought, ”If only all of us could figure things out and move

on this way.” Live by this motto:

Tell the truth from the start. Show up for myself. Know what I want.”

Very few of us realize how much we’re tested every single day. Not to just do the right

thing, but to want the “right things in life”.

An example in my life I learned recently from something as simple as grocery shopping.

We all go to the grocery store. Do we know healthy, delicious good food to buy?

Sometimes we do. Most of the time, we buy the usual. We fill our cart with what we

want, which doesn’t mean it is the best choice. Then we stand in line. Standing in a long

line behind other peoples overflowing carts, I was getting frustrated. Then I overheard a

conversation in front of me. It went like this, “Oh… I see you have some very healthy

looking pizzas there, but is cauliflower crust really any good?” A handsome younger man

who appeared to be in perfect shape answered the woman. “Not only is it good, but I

looked into so many varieties and found this one to be less expensive. It’s tasty and

really healthy for you”. I thought of my own set ways. The only pizzas we were willing to

buy. Now when I grocery shop, I research better. When it comes to pizza, we eat

delicious califlour crust!

What I want is asked of me throughout my life. From what I eat, to where I go, to who I

decide to bring into my life for relationships. People are constantly testing other people

in so many ways, especially to see who can be boss!

What do I want now? I know I want to be respected.

Nothing brings a person more pain, darkness and sad thinking than to have a person be

disrespected. So many hidden ways it begins, grows then continues. The rolling of the

eyes, turning ones back on whose speaking, the interruptions mid sentence when

sharing a point of view. Insults, screams, swearing. Can this change? Can people be

respected and treat each other differently after long periods of time? The answer is YES,

and it’s all up to me. Quite simply put, IF I want to be respected, I must show up for me

today. I need to learn to love myself. I have to create important boundaries..

When my son got his hair cut, I watched how, if only for a brief moment the entire barber

shop was waiting….. waiting to see whether e barber would cut the mans hair, or not. It

all depended on “how it was handled”. Now the man needing a haircut, realized he had

to meet the barbers’ demands. THIS barber had principles and he insisted on an

apology before he gave any haircut!

I realized this past Sunday I too, had been given a choice to show how I needed to be

respected by a family member. A young family member informed me they had decided

they “didn’t feel like going to church anymore and would be staying home”. Immediately

we confiscated technology. We said, “This is our family home. We go to church together

as a family, until you are of age to do differently or choose not to live with your family”.

Funny, how this got attention big time. We all went to church together as a family. It

takes a lot of energy sometimes just to show up for ourself. Very often, we need to be

specific in creating our own boundaries. Even more so, it takes courage to do the right

thing. I keep remembering our children are our future and we need to raise them with

good examples at home. My children must know about the man Jesus Christ. HE is

always there for them. The world is tilting on its axis, going into overload with darkness

coming out of every corner. Still, our children come to us for answers. Can we give them

the truth?

We can when we know there is that bright divine light under every cloud of darkness.

I know this to be true. I believe in the Christ light. For It is HE who made me in HIS image

because my body is the temple of God. Therefore, I deserve nothing less then respect,

truth and honesty. I pray to live this way every single day.

“Not my will be done , but YOUR will be done in my life Lord today”

The greatest love is inside me. It all starts with believing in LOVE. I deserve respect in all I

do. There will be challenges. Other people will be around to try somehow to shake my

confidence, create havoc and attempt to disrespect me. It won’t work. For now, I AM

working on me. Boundaries in place, invincible bounderies now, all is well. I feel healthy,

whole and well. A wonderful book I am currently reading called; “The Power in You”

teaches how positive affirmations throughout ones day work. The book states it is

important to start looking at oneself as a great piece of art work. So I say now, I am

unique. There is no one person like me. I am a masterpiece. I say this all day long.

Respect is automatic. There are no gray areas. There is only. dark and light. I accept the

Christ light. HIS light, HIS power, always the “greatest Love of all.” Standing by this, I know

what I want each day.

Do You know what you want in your life today?

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“Empty Expectation” Blog #70

Am I afraid of other people’s personalities?

Do I try to make life better for someone every day?

What do I expect from my life on a daily basis?

As I breathe in deeply, after I awake each morning, I immediately pray. I thank God for a

new start. Now I begin my day and what are my expectations? Who do I expect to be

there for me? In the back of my mind, is there someone who may have let me down?

Better still, is it unreasonable for me to have expectations? There are some expectations

that go without saying whether we are children or adults. We expect our government to

keep us safe. We live in a democracy. Yet, everything is NOT black and white. People

that run goverhments have choices to make every day. Unless we keep our eyes on

what’s happening, chaos can ensue.

We have expectations from our teachers that teach our children, yet we are not there

inside the classroom, watching what they put into little minds day in and day out. It

helps to remember who watches over each of us. HE is always there as my anchor, to

sift out false expectations. IF I can try to remember this, I am less anxious. At the core of

my expectations, sits myself. What DO I expect each and every day?

If we have a spouse and children, there are silent expectations required to be fulfilled.

Each of us know if we let ourself down daily..

Define “Expectation:” - “A strong belief that something will happen or be that case

in the future, achieve something important….”

Strong emotions and the fact I want to change something in someone I see, can be

a problem. My emotions can completely affect my own expectations. There are many

of us who believe we have tried our best in a situation and it has gone from bad to

worse. We may feel certain people involved have turned their back on us. They have

given us the cold shoulder so to speak, and distanced themselves indefinitely. Its so

hard to come to grips with expectations day in and day out.

IF we had to sit down and make a plan with an “end result in sight”, I doubt very much

many of us could do that. Instead, we go forward with a make shift attitude of

“I’ll think about that tomorrow”.

Life becomes over bearing when needs are not met and raw emotions take over.

We cannot turn to HIM unless we pray for help. Then we feel fixed in the moment of

peace. We let go and are able to say, “I DO NOT NEED TO FIX SOMEONE ELSE TODAY.”

At the end of the year, some of us sit down and make resolutions for the New Year.

There are promises we make that involve change. Changing what? With all the

questions and the reasoning and rationalizing we come to this one fact:

Each of us is responsible ONLY for ourself. So I start the day now and say,

I AM OPEN TO TRUTH. I am ready to let go of unreasonable expectations. They are empty

and they have no value except to weigh my heart down with empty sad emotion. An

example of what I refer to. is this: All through my childhood and on into my adulthood I

said a prayer: “Please God help my daddy to stop drinking.” I was still saying this,

praying this, at times, without thinking, long after he died. I had an expectation that was

unrealistic. It turned out to be empty. It caused me to start drinking. When we focus on

falsehoods, they become reality to each of us.

Whether it be a promise from someone else, an expectation that goes unfilled, or an

idea of how someone should be there for me.. These are expectations of another

person. We walk on slippery slopes when we expect any one person to live up to or do

something or be someone who they are not.

Now I preface this with stating as parents we are expected to guide and guard and

protect our children into adulthood. This is our job and we have a ‘parent report card”

to earn day in and day out. IF we as parents, slack off on the job - If we drink, verbally

abuse, assault and demean our children, it comes back in spades to haunt us.

Currently I have had an expectation of a person to clearly “do the right thing”.. Now,

put off for almost a month. I had clear expectations. I expected a plan and a date. This was my downfall. This brought on depression, anxiety and grief. Because of my unrealistic expectation from a person I knew who was not trustworthy, I allowed myself to go into overload” I brought myself overwhelming sadness, obsessive thinking and worry. All because I trusted someone with no integrity.

But then…….I remembered to pra

NOW I see after praying, I had “empty expectations with no outcome I\

I am better than this. must remember who I am. I am in control of ME.

I think healthy thoughts. I associate with people who are honest. . I create my own boundaries and I abide in them.

There are some families who have relationship issues. Because of this there are

many unfullfilled expectations. Loneliness begets bitterness;. Some times

expecting to hear from family member. This is where an understanding heart, letting go

and moving on works wonders. Look at your expectation like this: Try to accept the

person where they are. Then don’t expect anything in return.

I have realized over the years that “just because its family doesn’t mean a get together”.

Some family members “check in once awhile” (makes them feel good).

Above all, it cannot benefit me to push myself on another human being.. Here is the crutch, when I accept this. I cannot go back and say or think or dwell on any of the parts of my life where I felt I helped that person, or did this or that. If I felt I am owed

something….. It’s painful and emotional and wrong. It’s time to let go of all that “stuff”. People have to WANT to see each other.

I know you probably think, “Well, how can I make memories with family who have distanced themselves?” Maybe the time is not right. Accept this. Today is today.

Yesterday, last month, last year are gone. I cannot turn my family around, only me.

I cannot make them care differently. This is where my own sanity takes on a

life of its own. We know when we do the right thing.when we pray, when we

invite the Holy Spirit into our heart and listen. Now we have a feeling of calm.

Anything else, is NOT truth. Other emotions of anger, a grudge and spite

are cast off. I am surrounded in HIS love, light and protection now.

I seek out people who are healthy. I bring people in my life that respect me. I

only accept truth from myself and others. When I live this way, sometimes these people become closer than family.. When we detach from the “what ifs”,

discernment, detachment and discipline step right into play. My life is calmer.

Most importantly, I am respected. Now people seek me out because of my

goodness NOT my caretaking, lying or sense of hopelessness.

I POST THIS ON MY MIRROR OR REFRIG;

1. I SET CLEAR EXPECTATIONS FOR MYSELF

2. I STATE TO MYSELF WHAT MY NEEDS ARE

3. I EXPLAIN TO MYSELF, WHY I FEEL LIKE I DO

4. I PROVIDE HEALTHY CONDITIONS FOR MYSELF

5. I SEEK HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS & TRUST OUTCOME

6. I PRAY FOR MY HIGHEST GOOD & HIGHEST GOOD FOR ALL

I realize sometimes it is necessary to send a letter, I have no false expectations. The game of life with those I interact: involves preparing, planning and prayer. It is not. my job to change someones thinking. It is not my job to control others in any way. IT IS my job to forgive, forget and move on. It is my job to RESPECT MYSELF. It is my job to do the best I can with tools I am given and learn MY lessons, IN DOING THIS, I help others too.

Can I let go of empty expectations?

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“Distant Damage” Blog #69

So many of us are afraid to live HIS truth.

We run the other way, We distance ourselves.

We find different damage.

The escape begins day in and day out, above all, we do not come out of our safe place.

Easy to hide out at home. Shove honest feelings far away, refusing to tell others what’s

unsaid. Yet, we are suppose to be Ministers to one another in and of truth. Know this to

be true: The enemy prince of darkness has no hold or power over us! Feel truth

internally. The heart says DO the right thing. Then the head rationalizes, “It’s just plain

futile”. This is how dark habits form. Days, weeks, months and years go by, creating

distant damage. Emeshed in a distorted truth is ones lonely reality. What is left is

hidden halves of ourselves. So we exist judging and blaming and alone. Actually we

continue to make chiseled choices over and over again. Head, not the heart, takes

charge. We become OF the world, not spiritual beings IN the world. See how tricky life

can become? Yet, no one person is meant to stay in darkness.

One always is given choice. Living with people in darkness, refusing the light, only brings

in more darkness. We are all meant to be healthy, seek light and grow!

“Our bodies ARE the Temple of God.”

So, I choose people to be in my life wisely. I’m checking now, I am always checking, is

my world light-filled? Is there blame, resentment, gossip? These are dark, material

weapons that only appear to work. They camouflage truth with an umbrella of illusion.

This makes me look at life from a distance, and my life eventually becomes cold,

isolated, intolerable. This is all temporary comfort, my friend. IF in darkness, this is where

I hide out. Been there, done that. I will not go back. I remind myself how short life truly

is. There is an old saying, “You will never see a hearse with a luggage rack on it”.

This means essentially - you cannot take anything with you when you leave. Therefore,

we are all built to do the right thing now. Unafraid, I must do what counts.

Because HE is watching me.

There are healthy ones out there. Healthy, honest, spiritual people. People that are

loving, supportive and good. I go and find them. I identify with them. I change my

attitude slowly each day. I want to be authentic, forgiving and good too. Above all, I

want to have a spiritual approach to all of my life and pray each day,

“Dear Lord, Let thy will NOT my will be done today”.

Leaving a damaged past behind, I seek healthy minds who have lives that work. These

are the ones that KNOW good triumphs over evil! Therefore, I understand that “like

minds find and know each other, they give support to each other”!

Now at a triangular point in my life, I admit who, what and why I refused to change.

I shed the outer, unwanted shell of myself as an empty cocoon. I go on to memorize this

SERENITY PRAYER

“GOD GRANT ME THE WISDOM TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE,

THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS THAT I CAN,

AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE”.

Moving quickly, I do not look back, and realizing my new start, I pray for discipline,

discernment and detachment. The dark zone is now gone. This life I am walking into

becomes lighter, brighter and manageable. For HE is the key to shedding my distant

darkness. Hands together I pray:

“Thank you, Dear Lord, for my healthy life”

I know now; I can pick up the phone, call a family member if years have gone by, I can

show by my words that I have kindness in my resolve. I have confidence and

conviction. I am willing to be tested by different people, yet still stay strong. Even

though a family member, or friend has not been there for me, I can say what needs to

be said firmly in forgiveness, move on and hang up. From a distance God whispers in

my ear, “I am in your heart, its time to start over, leave the distant darkness with not

one regret”.

“Can I remove darkness from my distant past?”

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“Fixed on Failure” Blog #68

Only I know what is missing in my life.

Only I know why I keep getting stuck.

Only I KNOW I can fix me.

So where DO I begin? Here’s a great motto,

“The one who falls and gets up is so much stronger than the one who never fell.”

Now, I look where I’ve came from - I don’t want to go back, making the same mistakes.

I write down on a piece of paper exactly this - “Help me Heal Lord”.

I TAPE IT TO MY REFRIGERATOR. Then, I write down my “biggest goal”. It’s working.

NOW I begin to find my courage (just for today) Its like an invisible muscle within me,

it just keeps getting stronger and stronger. This doesn’t mean I am not afraid at times,

it just means my courage will not let my fear stop me. Today is all mine. No one can

take that away from me. So I go forward now, with a baby step. I make my OWN PLAN.

I start saying quietly and internally and cry into the night, “I Cannot do it alone”.

“It’s because of YOU, I will not give up, show me my tools” NOW I feel that fear and

have courage anyway! My inner strength is growing and its unbelievable. This is what I

need to tell myself today. I am a survivor 100% of all my past challenges. Lots of the

past was rocky, yet that was where I learned from my greatest heartache. I truly

believe my odds are very hlgh, I can and will, survive whatever comes next. Whether it

is a person that tries to sabbage me, I bless them on and leave them alone. Whether it

is a “past vice of alcohol or drugs” I say: that was the shell of the old me. I look at past

as a caterpillar on the ground and I am becoming the Monarch Butterfly! I AM AWARE

now that I cannot control what happens to me today - YET I will control 100% how I

respond to the situation. I have so many powerful coping tools and they all start with

HIM. My Savior is the strongest light energy within me. Everything else is next. Starting

today I AM going to “design my own day”. I can fantasize a perfect outcome. I can

write down all my needs. I can start my “Penny Jar” one day at a time, I AM learning to

overcome ADVERSITY IN MY OWN LIFE. I know it is all up to ME.

Listen to this truth, “IT TAKES MORE ENERGY TO WORRY ABOUT SOMETHING THAN TO

SMILE AND SAY I AM GOING TO START OVER NOW, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS”. Here is a

little visual, watch the dog chasing his tail…watch the dog chasing his tail ….. “Keep doing

the same things over and over and keep expecting different results”. That is actually

the definition of “Insanity” attributed to Albert Einstein.

Even in Alanon they teach that peoples lives have become powerless over alcohol

and our lives have become unmanageable. They have come to believe that a “Power

greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity”.

Wow! That was written decades ago and millions of people swear by that verbage.

I really believe that when my life is comfortable and easy and good, that is NOT when I

am tested the most. I am tested big time when my life is really difficult. We are a

school in and onto ourself. We need to start each school day looking in the mirror and

remembering this poem:

The Man in the Mirror.

by: Dale Winbrow

When you get what you want in your struggle for self,

and the world makes you king for a day,

Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,

and see what that guy has to say.

For it isn’t your mother, your father or wife,

whose judgement upon you must pass,

but the person whose verdict counts most in your life,

is the one staring back from the glass.

That’s the person to please,

never mind all the rest,

For he’s with you right to the end,

and you’ve passed the most dangerous, difficult test,

IF the one in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum,

and think you’re a wonderful guy,

But the one in the glass,

says you’re only a bum,

IF you can’t look him straight in the eye!

You can fool the whole world,

down the highway of years,

and get pats on the back as you pass,

But your final reward will be heartache and tears,

IF you’ve cheated that man in the glass.

I WILL TAKE A RISK TODAY AND LOOK AT THAT LIST I MADE LAST NIGHT. IT’S A LIST OF WHO I

AM TODAY, WHAT I GIVE UP TODAY. I AM NOT AFRAID OF TODAY. THERE IS AN IRONIC TWIST

TO LIVING, TRYING EACH DAY OUT. IT HAS TO DO WITH LETTING GO OF NEGATIVE HABITS.

THE BEST PART OF ALL OF THIS IS THE JOURNEY. BECAUSE I KNOW ACHIEVILNG MY GOAL JUST

IN DEALING WITH THE DAILY STRUGGLE OF TRYING EACH DAY AND SEEING WHO I AM

BECOMING. IS “ONE DAY AT A TIME”. THAT IS ALL I HAVE. So today I realize, YES, something

bad happened to me in my past.

THIS DOES NOT DEFINE WHO I AM TODAY.

I can only get stronger accepting this truth. I am not my past. Today I am healthy.

I know I CAN get outside and walk and work out every day for 30 minutes and this will

release natural endorphins into my brain, so it DOES HELP ME RELAX.

This is a good start for me. I accept my new mental attitude in knowing this,

I have given all my failures I cannot fix, to HIM. My Lord keeps me safe and keeps my

fear of failure from destroying me. The darkness is at bay. I have a new plan, with a

new way and a brand new day. HE is my Living Hope.

”Can I forget failure and start my new plan today?

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“My Job?” Blog #67

So, how is my life working out for me so far?

What do I see for myself ahead?

What is my purpose here anyway? It’s a fact that once I say one true thing and stick

with it, all kinds of truth comes pouring into my life. So often we want the '“grass that is

greener on the other side of the street.” We are not able to see what is in front of us.

What are the opportunities that I have right now that I can develop? More often then

not, it is a fact of life that faith takes a back burner in so many peoples lives. “All this

stuff about religion and God, why do I need it anyway?” one says. In 2020, no more than

47% of U.S. adults belonged to a church, synagogue or mosque. That has fallen apart

now even lower in frightening numbers too great to even share. Americans now “feel”

they have no need for church and have better things to do.

Yet over the years, the average American has little information or any knowledge as to

“why they exactly feel the way that they do”. This brings in many troubling situations.

Unless a person believes they can go through life without a single “hiccup”, a person

needs to find a way to “find personal purpose” in life. A person needs to hear truth.

Why is purpose necessary? Without purpose a person has difficulty believing

in one self. So, what exactly do I value in life? What IS important to me at

the end of the day? My life has taken me completely full circle. I have experienced

more heartache than I could even believe possible. I was raised a 911/SOS Christian

and sort of knew going to church was a good thing to do. However, only because I was

told to go. NO one person ever explained anything to me about the man Jesus.

I knew nothing about my Christian faith, nor was I even interested. I poured myself into

my job and when I was given tragedy, I became a workaholic. My job was

everything to me. Needless to say, my health suffered, my life suffered and I must

admit.

When we are down, when we are at the end of our rope, then we “ask for internal help”.

Now heaven opens and HE steps in. Miracles DO happen. Life takes on new meaning.

My job was so distorted. I thought so wrong. I lived backwards..

My job is to learn about me. Why was I put here and what can I do to evolve?

When I pray for help, I am given clarity. I SEE my lessons daily in helping others.

There is a remarkable amount of knowledge out there to learn and gleam from.

After years of my study and research. I believe beyond the shadow of doubt this:

Jesus was a real person. He lived and walked among all people. He showed thousands of people miracles he performed and then went on to give the Holy Spirit to his disciples who also went out and performed miracles in his name. Jesus knew who he was, he knew HIS job. He showed humanity the real definition oflove as last words professed; “Father forgive them, they know now what they do”.

Yet today families see no need for church. Parents are raising their children without

Baptism, without any knowledge of Jesus Christ. How will these children evolve and

learn ,what their true job in life is? Can a parent help a suicidal child by just saying:

don’t do it “just because?” What in the whole world makes life worth living?

I am going to share fascinating facts with you about various peoples “Jobs in life”.

Sir Walter Raleigh believed he found remnants of Noahs Ark and traveled to India

to do more research. B. B. Lal, a very famous researcher, came upon a shocking find

in an old English attic. He and Leonard Simmons, along with Dr. Irving Finkle transcribed

a small golden tablet from this attic that was a missing link to Noahs Ark! This is a

4000 year old tablet. The Indian architects went on to recreate a facsimile of the

real Noahs Ark. They followed directions found on the tablet. They built a replica of

the Ark 4300 square yards, twenty feet tall and circular. When the architects and

builders were done, the boat weighted thirty-five tons. They used only ropes and wood

to build this replica. Finally finished, they launched the boat into the Indian Ocean and

it floated and the boat did not sink! What a beautiful job they did to show others.

Right now in the Vatican City of Rome there are fifty three miles of hidden treasures

going back through the years, all connecting to Jesus. In Ethiopia there exist a shrine

that is said to be the Ark of the Covenant - the last cup Jesus drank from at his last

supper. There is and has been, such intense heat coming from the encasement

building that surrounds the Ark, it has been necessary to build a larger building to

encase it. There is a soldier that stands guard in front on the premises 24 hours a day

and he does this for his whole life. This is his job! When he dies, he is replaced with

another solder standing guard. A man named Barfields found a copy of the Dead Sea

scrolls engraved on a copper scroll. He made it his job to find this proof of existence

just like so many hundreds and thousands of historians and architects continue to do,

so you may believe. This is their job day in and day out.

How much work have each of us done to explore the history of the man Jesus?

I personally believe in the force of light energy. This protects me from darkness. The

force of Jesus Christ. is here now. My job is to continue to learn, study and grow as a

testimony to HIS light. Each day I learn more, I feel safer.

There have been times in my past when my own life felt a complete disconnect to what

was going on around me. Even when I was busy with a productive job I worked at.

I felt an undercurrent of fear of being all alone. It’s always hard to face, this feeling of

being all alone. Yet in the aloneness comes awareness. In my sadness came serenity.

In my darkness comes discernment, direction and discipline to balance my day.

It’s ironic in this crazy, busy, noisy world of ours to say “but I feel alone…..” I know there

are those of us who have to find a fix in drinks, pills or the wrong people around

them. However, this will never be enough. Only look inside to see truth quietly waiting.

The real job is to learn about me, WHO AM I ? I do know this+ I am never alone…

“Am I ready to learn and accept my true job?”

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“Daily Drama” Blog #66

I just heard the news this morning. Another drug addict has died. I thought about my

own life versus his life. Choices he had made versus choices I have made. Why we

were so extremely different? Why am I still here and his life gone, ruined with no return?

Why DO we make the choices we do each day? How do we face daily drama?.

What makes a person deliberately want to destroy their brain cells with no care for

living, has their daily drama consumed them? We see thousands of young and old with

illness, just trying to stay alive.

We see the extreme, bizarre daily commercials constantly contradicting themselves!

Take this pill or that pill to find instant relief from anxiety, or depression. (However, the

side affects state they may have suicidal warnings!) Are you kidding me? We live in a

time where things we hear now seem to border on the rediculous. Nowadays “anything

goes”, and we in our daily quest for fight or flight, figure ways to battle our daily drama

of just living life. There is the latest statistic out there, saying “over half of the country

FEEL LONELY EVERY DAY”

WHY is this? Nothing we buy, nothing we own and nothing we acquire will give us a

feeling of permanent contentment. Each and every one of us must suffer the daily

dilemma of “figuring life out”, one day at a time, all by our alone-selves.

We come into this life accountable to our parents. We go to school and must be

accountable to teachers. We get out of school and drive and have a job and must be

accountable to the laws that regulate our system. However, there is one small

hiccup……”internally who are we accountable to?”

Throughout all the daily drama of our lives where are we running to? What is the plan

for life as we get older and older? At the end of the day, who will satisfy us completely?

I believe, It is only HIS love that suffices. Jesus Christ.

There is a famous Russian author Leo Tolstoy who said, “Everyone thinks of changing the

world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” There really is no way to avoid daily

drama IF we are alive. Yet, what do we fall back on every day? Some of us wake up with

health issues. Others have relationship issues and still others are now and will be all

alone facing life one day at a time.

Regardless of what I face each day, I still know my limits, I’m learning about me. I

continue to see what I can cope with and what are major stressors in my own daily

drama of living. Most importantly though - What are my “proven helps”?

Deep breathing. Walking outdoors. Prayerful meditations and affirmations. THEY DO

WORK!.

My major awareness day in and day out, just knowing I have someone internally who

cares for me unconditionally. I walk one way for fifteen minutes and back for another

fifteen minutes. All the while deep breathing, asking for help and telling HIM what my

needs are. I always try to remember that the number one thing within my control is……

ME.

I have come to believe that age has nothing to do with fulfillment. IF we are content in

our surroundings, this is a huge accomplishment. We must feel right about where we

are and who we are with and where we are headed. I for one, can only take on the new

day knowing I have the help of my MASTER by my side. I start each morning with a

prayer of protection:

“The light of God surrounds me, the Love of God enfolds me, The power of God

protects me and the presence of God watches over me, wherever I am, God is and

all is well”.

After this prayer I thank God for all my blessings. Especially life challenges that helped

me to grow internally. Then I take on my day. I want to share a beautiful true story

about faith. There is lovely little church in Sante Fe, New Mexico. It was built over a

hundred years ago. It still stands there. After the completion, the nuns realized they had

no way to climb up to the loft. No staircase had ever been built. They prayed and they

prayed. Very soon a carpenter came knocking at their door. He seemed to know

exactly what they needed and they were impressed. After weeks of working hard, the

carpenter was done. At the back of the church stood a beautiful circular wooded

staircase all the way up to the loft. There was not a single nail used. Yet, each stair was

strong and sturdy. They were sure that the next day the carpenter would return so they

could take care of what they must owe him. He was never to return again. Through the

years, scientists and architects have studied the staircase and come up with the fact

that the “wood used” was not from any where around here. How the staircase could be

built without a single nail? This has baffled many a professional throughout the years.

Yet, the strangest and most beautiful fact remains. Many thousands of people that are

true believers have visited this lovely world reknown chapel and their lives have been

healed of many illnesses. To this day - the chapel stands in Santa Fe, New Mexico for

any one to go and see and hopefully bring them peace, relieve their daily drama and

give them faith. Their faith is restored instantly.

Do I have a prayer in place for my “daily drama” today?

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“Sorry for What?” Blog #65

Do I have to say I’m sorry to myself? Do I have to go over all the past, sordid, sad details

behind me? Do I even need to reflect on the past, IF that is where it is - “in my

permanent past”? Looking back and reflecting on our past is important in everyones life.

The former Queen of England, when she was speaking to Northern and Southern Ireland

about apology and regret said this:

“It is sad and regrettable - reality, Throughout our history we have experienced more then a fair share of heartache, turbulence and loss….with the benefit of hindsight we can all see things which we wish had been done and dealt with differently or not at all.” She said: “We are to bow to our past, but not be bound by it. Whatever life throws at us, our individual responsibility is to be stronger, work together and share the load. The ties of family, friends and affection are the most precious resource of all…”

Wow - those are some pretty heavy words to take in.

So many of us are busy just trying to “go forward”, so why bother with the past? I try to

imagine a persons attic after many years of living in one house. I imagine lots of boxes,

tons of memorabilia and everywhere you look, cobwebs! Boxes and boxes, shoved

away, into the past. Yet, to some extent, at some point, we will all have these things to

be dealt with, will we not? It’s important to clean out our attic. Time to get rid of the old,

sort through the boxes of memorabilia, keep what is precious and let go of the rest.

Then MOVE ON.

Our mind can be a lot like an attic. We shove away what we do not want to deal with.

Remember when people used to write letters to each other? I don’t mean texting now

or even long emailing or Tweets or a Facebook connection. I mean picking up a pen

and a clean piece of paper. Taking pen in hand and writing down a message to

someone across the miles, or someone left behind. Place a stamp on the envelope,

address it and mail it - now.

The fact the letter has a stamp and is addressed to a person, increases the specific

importance of it. Then it obligates a person to open up the letter. Now the person must

absorb what you have written. This took time on your part. What feelings they must feel

as they read throughout the letter. This can have a powerful impact.

People move away. People break ties. People leave things unfinished. More often

then nought, there is sadness in the air. Often times taking the time to write a letter

if “sorry” is the intended purpose, can have a huge opportunity to clear the air. A person

can think things out as they write without being interrupted. The person receiving the

letter can read it and reread it over again. Words put on paper can be more of an

influence in changing the atmosphere of a relationship than a person knows. Every one

of us have said or done something or relayed an action that was taken the wrong way.

Maybe words were said that have been left hanging in the air. Maybe inside our mind

we feel differently than the way we left things with someone else. There are so many

ways to apologize. Then again, maybe it is just time to start over with a new approach.

There is always the next part of destiny, it steps in with such finality, such doom. In

different words. Death.

We are not meant to be here forever. Each day gives us a full plate of life situations to

handle honestly. Yet, here’s a revolutionary thought, are we afraid to do it ? Do it

anyway! Write a letter. Pick up the phone. Start by saying sorry, watch the air clear to a

beautiful blue sky.

Each of us know IF something in my past could use fixing. Say to self, Is it me, can I fix it?

We are all capable of writing a kind, thought provoked, loving letter. Maybe a few lines.

If our thoughts are not loving, this can turn our power the opposite way. Do I now realize

I can help heal a relationship with a letter? Maybe a call. I may need to forgive

someone in my close circle that I have turned my back on. Sometimes a letter helps

heal all things. My anger and a heavy heart can dissolve instantly by just reaching out.

When I REMOVE the resentment and blame and hatred, then walls begin to crumble.

Sometimes that phone call changes the whole world around me.

I remember years ago in my early married life, I had told myself I would not be calling

my mother for a while because I was tired of our conversations. Almost every time I

called her, I felt it was depressing to talk about things we could do nothing about. I had

to listen to her worry, concern and fear for a family member that had gone off the deep

end. However, I did not realize as much as I thought “out of sight, out of mind”, was a

good approach, it weighed heavy on me. I had a small child and wanted him to be in

her life. Days were coming and going and we had not seen each other for a while. It

was mostly because of my decision to keep a distance. It was my decision to look at life

“only my way”. Yet, this was a particularly beautiful morning. It was hot and sunny and

a perfect day for being outside. With a heavy heart, I kept thinking about her. This

morning I was just plain missing my mom. I could feel it in my heart and for once, I was

not analyzing our relationship within my head. I gave in to a “hunch and feeling” that I

should just call her, make a plan to see her this day. Maybe we could get together and

she could be with her little grandson.

As I look back, I realize by literally taking my “mindset” out of the equation and going with

my heart, I was able to pray and let the universe do the rest - Everything fell into

perfect place. My mom drove over to meet me and off we went for a beautiful day at

the lake. We sat on a blanket, talked about fun memories from the past and enjoyed

the hot sunny weather. Early in the afternoon my Mom took her little grandson for a

chocolate ice cream cone. I can still see his pudgy little toddler fingers holding tight

onto grandma as they walked along the beach sharing a melting chocolate cone. All

afternoon he slept. We relaxed, talked and laughed and had the best time with each

other I can remember. Later that day, my husband somehow miraculously found us at

the beach. He said “something told him” to come find us and bring us a picnic dinner.

What a surprise! A basket filled with hot fried chicken, red grapes, croissants and potato

salad and watermelon, which we eagerly devoured. My mom broke little bits of red

grapes in half and fed them to her hungry little grandson. My husband had grabbed

the last chilled bottle of white wine we happen to have in our fridge. We ate, we

laughed, we enjoyed each other. As the hot sunny day gave way to evening, it was now

time to go. We left the beach that late summers eve filled with food, a beautiful

memory and completely content. It had been a perfect, summer picnic on an ideal

summers day. As we walked slowly across the soft green, grass, my Mom smiled over at

us saying,

“Best day ever kids, I’ll see you tomorrow…”

The following morning at 9:12 am my mom was gone. Her life is no more. That day was

no longer just another normal hot summer day. I am thankful I listened to my heart the

day before. I am thankful I have no regrets in any of the decisions I made the day

before. I am especially thankful I did not stay away, I have this beautiful memory that

has carried me through all my heartache in the years since she has been gone. It’s

important to live every day as though it were my last. We all know who we are IF we are

hanging on to anything disturbing.

Do I have someone I need to call or write to today?

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“Who am I?” Blog #64

What keeps me from going backwards today?

Am I making excuses for what I am doing?

I know that I must take 100% responsibility for where I AM at today IF my life is not working

for me….. ONLY I CAN CHANGE THAT. So I must HAVE A PLAN.

I remember a beautiful excerpt from a movie I saw where a nanny was taking care of a

familys’ only little daughter. She had been neglected because they were too busy with

their own lives to spend quality time with her. Every morning the nanny started the little

girls day out by taking her in her lap and holding her, soothing her, comforting her. She

kept telling the the little girl in a calm, inspiring, loving way, “Repeat after me”,

“You is Kind. You is smart. You is important.” She said this to the little girl every day.

We all wish someone could hold us lovingly and say that to us right now.

I also think about the famous writer Marianne Williamson. In her book, “Return to Love”

she writes about our deepest fear. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our

darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,

gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? YOU are a child of

God. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel

insecure around you! We were meant to shine as children do. We were born to make

manifest the glory of God within us. It’s not just in some, it’s in everyone. So as we let

our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatially liberates others….”

So now WHO AM I today? I wake up, just like you do every single morning with different

thoughts, different concerns and different hopes for my day. At some point, my concern

takes over my optimistic outlook. This is human nature and every one of us have been

there. Sometimes I have to quickly run outside, I have to take deep breaths as I start to

walk one way for fifteen minutes and then back. All the while walking, I ask for HIS

direction to surround me in light. As I am walking and deep breathing, I find timely

intuition and deep seeded wisdom that was clouded over by worry. I see now where the

fork in the road comes up. I tell myself I cannot dwell on what I myself cannot change. I

cannot change an outcome of an event that already happened. I cannot change

another person’s mind. However, more than anything though, I can change who I am.

I can “Let go, and let God”. I can rise above my worry with my own decision to stop

building walls and start building bridges. I can stop labeling people and deciding the

outcome of something I have not even taken part of! I can definitely pray not just once,

but throughout my day. I can call a new friend, even though I am afraid of rejection. I

can decide: “ I AM kind, I AM smart, I AM important.” This is WHO I AM This bring me a

“calm” immediately. Puts my life in perspective. I tell myself, I will build bridges today

and not build walls of rejection. Because I am changing my attitude today, this will

reflect on my own character and it sums up who I am.

Here’s a fact of life. Every single one of us has our own stuff going on. People are

attracted to people that are optimistic, positive and get up and start over!

I AM non-negotiable when it comes to my faith in God.

I have come from darkness into the light, and I will not go back to darkness ever again.

I believe in the goodness of God and do what I can to help others in need. There is

darkness out there, make no mistake. There are evil temptations and negative energy in

so much of what appears to be good! Yet, HIS LOVE, LIGHT AND LAUGHTER CONQUERS ALL

DARKNESS. Whether movies, or our music or daily advertising, choose carefully what to

bite on. I HAVE TO make a choice for my higher good. NO OTHER CHOICES.

Now I am going to tell you a true story about the amazing, unbelievable, teenage son of

King Louis the 16th of France. He was just a teenager and yet, look what happened to

him. His father was taken from the throne and his young son, the prince, was taken away

by those who dethroned the King. There was much fear that the son would try to take

over for his father. So they took him far away and decided to destroy him morally. They

took him to a community where they exposed the young teen to every filthy and vile

thing that life could offer. They tried to feed him the richest foods that would quickly

make him a slave to his appetite. They exposed him to lewd, lusty and sex filled women.

They exposed him to dishonor and distrust. He was surrounded 24 hours a day to

everything that could drag the soul of a man as low as one could slip. For over six

months they gave him this kind of treatment. Yet, not once did the young teenager

buckle under pressure. Finally after all this intensive temptation, they questioned him.

“Why did you not partake? These things were meant to give you pleasure, satisfy your

lust, they were the most desirable and would provide the ultimate pleasure, they could

be all yours!.”

The young boy spoke quietly, “I cannot do what you asked, for I was born to be a King.”

As a teenager he absolutely knew who he was. In this crazy, conflicted, immoral world -

Now is the time to stand in front of the mirror and say Who am I?, with honest intent.

Starting today I ask myself; What am I giving in to? What do I stand for? What are my

moral beliefs and how have they been challenged today? Here’s a quick reflection, sit

quietly, ask to be surrounded in Gods light. Ask for HIS direction.

What hard task am I asked to do today to bring about MY highest good?

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Humility & Remorse Blog #63

How did my day go today, am I at peace? Is there a person in my life I am upset

with now? Above all, can I find forgiveness for someone today who has hurt me?

Its so ironic how we come out of childhood to think we can leave our families behind!

Yet, only to carry with us so much baggage! This is just stinkin’ old garbage. I know that

as I look back on all parts of my past, I have judged others big time. I’ve been really

upset with a family member because they haven’t wanted to make plans with me, see

me and get together. Well, what about it? We can’t change these people. We can’t

make them different. We especially can’t make them care more! So, what is remorse

really? Its about regret. Its all about realizing how I could have tried harder, given my

all, and said more to break down barriers.

The walls grow big and thick with judgement, all the while knowing, we can’t fix others!

Sometimes with some, its a phone call away, we can make amends and be together.

But only IF both parties want to get together. NOT just one person. However, if there are

family members that deliberately, vindictively and purposefully hold on to mean

feelings - then and only then it’s time to break that connection, say a prayer, bless

them on to their highest good, and MOVE ON!! Leave it alone.

I continue to work on this with humility, remorse and forgiveness. I have judged certain

people in my family and now give myself a pass to “move on. In the dance of life, it’s

important to remember “it takes two to tango”. Every single relationship has meaning,

purpose and room for forgiveness. IF I am aware I remember that all people in my

biological family are there specifically to teach me valuable lessons in living my life

every day, THEN I see I AM evolving! Yet, I remember; “I can’t make others want to be

around me!”

IN the circle of life,” What goes around comes around” What I put out into the universe

comes back to me in spades. What do I mean by this? IF I wake up angry and bitter

and full of blame. Then so goes my day. I become filled with animosity and more

reason to believe everyone else is wrong, and I, a meager bystander. One day goes

into the next and the next. Months go by. Suddenly I see nothing but negativity around

me. I am attracted to more negativity because my gossiping and talking about my

anger with others only perpetuates more darkness dwelling within me.

However, it IS possible to see the world through rose colored glasses, with the glass

half full (not half empty) and tell myself “this too shall pass”. I have a good start to a

brand new day. I have a NEW plan that does NOT involve blaming others for WHO I AM.

Why did I write about remorse and humility? Because everyone of us need this in our

lives every single day. Ironically as I was writing today, I saw two writings in my office

that I keep near me at all times. Both of these writings were written by my two children

when each of them were about twelve years old. Isn’t funny how twelve years old

is like a “passage in life” so to speak. Jesus was twelve years old when he went into

the temple to teach. “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”

My eldest son wrote about love and I will include his writing, especially because it

wound up being printed in a magazine that year.

“Unconditional Love”

Unconditional Love is hard to explain,

its not like a boat or a plane.

Its not the love you give someone when they’re going away on a train.

Unconditionally is to give, and to give, and to give until you’re all out.

Unconditional Love is to give from your heart, and that’s what its all about.

David. N. 6/24/1990. (Twelve years old)

Our daughter who was also twelve years old (only many years later)… wrote this:

“Humility and Remorse”

“Humility is when you put other people’s life in front of your own. People can use

humility when its around the holidays. Instead of saying “I wonder what I will get?”

You can think about what you will get for other people. Someone who has alot of

humility is my mom. She is always willing to put down whatever she is doing to help

other people, such as her family. Remorse means to be sorry for your sins and try not

to do them again. People can use remorse when they get into a fight with their best

friend. Instead of jumping to conclusions, apologize and just make up. By putting

others first, I try to have humility and remorse. I can write a letter to someone

explaining why……. This helps me because I am able to explain why I do or did things

without being right in front of the person. Someone who shows remorse in my family

is my brother. He always goes and apologizes to someone he gets in a fight with.”

Humility and remorse are important because they basically keep this world together.

When people fight, they should just apologize….” Chrissy. Z. 12 yrs. old. 5/9/2018

Isn’t is amazing what children know about life by the time they are twelve years old?

Yet, as adults we manage so often to get stuck in a time warp of defiant darkness?

So very interesting to see the different perspectives of life from twelve years old.

what happens to us In life as we go and grow and gleam insights going into our

adulthood? Do we take in life gently or do we judge harshly? I understand life can be

filled with answers that only appear to be absolutes! “I won’t forgive!” “Look how they

hurt me!” “Im never getting over that!” Someone might say these things to me.

Then I can answer back with HIS words, Jesus’ last words as he hung on a cross;

“Father forgive them, for they know NOT what they do”

We are here to learn our own lessons each and every day, not to judge others. We are

not here to pick up the phone and call someone and gossip about others. We are here

to pick up the phone, call a friend and spread the “good news of HIS word”. It doesn’t

really matter where we are in life as far as age, circumstance, or health. Each one of us

can start with a new plan of forgiveness, remorse and humility today. I know how much

less baggage I carry around now that I unload daily and take in forgiveness, remorse

and humility. I feel healthier. I feel alive, I AM light hearted. Above all, I feel loved, I feel

HIS unconditional love pouring down on me and in all this HE raises me up each and

every day.

“Can you find humility and remorse today?”

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“The Impossible” Blog #62

Why is it important to have Faith? What does it matter if I believe or don’t believe?

What is my Faith all about anyway? It’s nearly impossible to have faith without belief.

Then again, belief in what? Living, breathing, existing in this world every day…. alone?

Pretty scary. I have my life, some days are rewarding and others challenging. I admit, it’s

hard to understand Life. Day in and day out. Yet, now I feel I have evolved and found my

anchor, where everything else is secondary. Nothing makes a person more of a non-

believer then to push religion on a person living in a secular society filled with want and

their own choices. It can be a busy, cold, dark world out there, navigating in unchartered

waters……all alone.

I am going to tell a little story and let you take away from it what you will. This is a true

story about a young man who truly believed in the power of Love. HE made it possible to

believe in the “Impossible which only HE can do”.

This man had one thought in mind - He saw a cold dark world, getting darker. HE chose

to live by example and believed if he traveled around proving to others exactly how

powerful HIS love for us was, others might believe as well. So he set about finding twelve

friends to show and also give them the power of Love and why he believed in goodness,

forgiveness and love above all else. For the most part, while traveling with his twelve

friends, HE went around day and night helping and healing people and HE did what

others would say was “the Impossible”.

This is a factual, chronological order of actual miracles this man did:

HE turned water into wine at a wedding. Then HE healed an officials son in Galilee from

dying. HE went on to drive out evil spirits from a Man in Capernaum. HE healed his friend;

Peters mother dying and sick with fever, and kept healing more sick.

HE cleansed a Man with Leprosy, HE healed a paralyzed servant, then another paralyzed

man, restored a withered hand, and then raised a woman’s son from the dead. (This is

more then ten so far.)

All of his disciples were frightened in a boat during a horrific storm, so HE calmed the sea

in front of them and then walked on water! Later they watched as HE cast out demons

into a herd of pigs!

HE healed another woman and brought someones daughter back to life! Moving on, HE

healed two blind men and went over to heal a man unable to speak! HE brought back to

health an invalid in Bethesda and fed 5000 people plus women and children from two

loaves of bread and some fish! (There were baskets left over.)

After this HE kept on healing more people who even touched his clothing, asking for help.

Showing others around him, HE took a demon out of a woman’s daughter, healed a deaf

and dumb man right in front of many, then HE fed another 4000 from barely nothing. By

spitting on the dirt and rubbing a blind mans eyes, he was restored to sight! Going from

town to town, HE healed a little boy with an unclean spirit. There was another

documented case of a woman who had been crippled for 18 years, HE healed her

instantly. From there HE cleansed ten lepers on his way to Juresalem. HE healed Lazarus,

his dear friend, who had been dead for days and no one knew what to say. When he

healed a man with dropsy on the Sabbath, this is where they got HIM. I guess it’s a big

crime to heal someone back to health on the Sabbath Day!? HE still went on to restore

sight to Bartimaeus in Jericho, even though they were closing in on him. Does this sound

like a wanted criminal?

HE knew HIS end was coming. HE was alone with his friends in a garden praying. Soldiers

came, then one of his twelve close friends deceived him and turned on him for 30

pierces of Silver. Yet, even to the very end when one of the other twelve defended him

and cut off a soldiers ear in the garden as HE was being taken away, HE restored the

soldiers ear! Can you believe this? A love so great as HIS.

It almost seems impossible, doesn’t it?

Today is Good Friday. On this day HE was tortured, hung on a cross, and died.

At the very end HE cried out, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do”.

One might wonder what is so Good about Good Friday? HIS goodness.All over the world

today, this is a very Holy day indeed. HE is the reason for my faith. In every way, it is

possible for me to believe IN HIM. Then in believing in HIS light, comes my faith. I feel safe.

Jesus Christ the Son of God heard Judas (HIS betrayer turn on him then commit suicide.)

All this for 30 pieces of silver. He went to Jesus to say, “Surely it is not I, Rabbi?” to which

Jesus answered; “YOU have said so”.

This man Jesus is crucified for being a criminal? Three days later, HE did raise from the

tomb and was NOT there. the tomb was torn open. The earth quaked, rocks were split,

tombs of others everywhere were opened and the bodies of many saints who had fallen

asleep were raised. The dead entered the Holy city and appeared to many. Soldiers

who kept watch over Jesus’ tomb feared greatly when they saw the earthquake and all

that was happening. They said:

“Truly this was the Son of God!”

Only HE makes possible the impossible. Have a Blessed, Happy Easter.

“Is it possible to find Faith in HIM today?”

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“Wake Up Call” Blog #61

What is my first thought in the morning when I wake up?

Am I still in yesterday… even though its today?

Do I start my day out with spiritual insurance? What even does this mean?

It’s critical to connect right away in the morning. The world is always out there, the

idea that we can be shielded from all struggle, run from things and avoid hurt. This

will never happen. I have to believe when I look at myself, I look to HIM for courage.

Every person has issues to face, yet, not everything that is faced can be changed.

The second I wake up I must accept this fact my mind is filled with thousands of

things that I may feel are necessary to figure out right away. Yet, that’s not the way I

find spiritual insurance. “So I put my hands together immediately when I awake and I

ask HIM quietly, with a thankful heart. “Show me the way today and thank you for the

direction and clarity and discipline to do the right things.” This is so important

because thoughts never stop, I never stop thinking, except when I finally go to sleep

So isn’t it comforting to realize and understand that HE hears me? I cannot feel

protected and directed and safe unless I wake up and say a prayer. Thankfully at

peace, when I am finished, now I can sort out my thoughts with way less confusion.

I understand now where my priorities lay and what I have to deal with in order. When

I am anxious, nothing goes right.

Only I AM in charge of me and who I AM. Does this fit? People often refer to the “glass

half full” being the positive point. Imagine our day starting out with a thankful heart

and allowing HIM to take over and I stay quiet for a few moments so I am able to

listen for direction. More often than not, people have said to me, “it’s impossible, I

have to do it on my own, or things will never happen. I don’t have time for this

nonsense”. What IF in prayer we are bringing in “spiritual reinforcement” and

everything we do today now has positive purpose? I am sure you have heard the

saying, “If you want to make God laugh, just tell him your plans”. There were many

times in my life where I was so busy all day, by the time night arrived and the day was

finally done, I fell into bed.

In one instant our lives can change in a breath. We all know this, we have

experienced good and bad. When I finally grasped the importance of prayer, I

prayed hard one Sunday. I remember going into church and I asked prayerfully in

earnest, “Please send me a good man, someone without negative baggage and

someone who will lift me up be very kind”. I ended my prayer with a thank you.

That was on a Sunday morning. Later that same day, I was at my Open House

wishing the owners had turned on the air conditioner because it was getting very

warm inside. Just then, I saw a small green sports car pull into the drive way and

a very tall, good looking man walked up to the door. He was looking to buy a house.

Later on, after I did sell him a new townhome we started dating and that man

became my husband. A funny side note to this story is this, my husband had been

golfing and said he had no idea he was going to be looking at houses that day.

He said, “It was the strangest thing, but something just came into my mind and I

got lost driving around and showed up at your listing!”

My future husband had driven down the wrong street and that was how we met!

Now a thousand people might attribute that to chance. People would say “it was just

a coincidence, nothing more to it”. .My future husband told me so many times

how strange that day was. “I am very disciplined”, he said”. “I mean it, I had no

plans except to golf that afternoon. Then something came into my mind and I

was intent on looking for a house to buy”. He just sat there shaking his head.

I believe in miracles. I believe in truth. I believe that WHEN we believe, HE hears us.

Once again, I am reminded of the Easter Season. It is still Lent and there is an

amazing, wonderful, kind man who has done so much just for us. For forty days HE

went off into the desert to fast, pray and be in solitude. No one person can identify

with what he did. Imagine trying to fast at all? It is only nine days until Easter, yet, the

man Jesus would still be fasting after thirty one days! What do you think is his

purpose for doing such a thing?

A real God took on “human form” to show us what true love is. To show us through his

humanity, his suffering, his dedication to unconditional love for each of us. Where

does the fault lie in any of this? Why are so many so afraid to believe? When I was

younger I just did not understand or take the time to learn anything about the “man

Jesus”. I am so sorry that I never did this. I feel much of my own suffering and

sadness and anger might have been reduced. I truly believe that Life makes more

sense when we stop, take a deep breath and pray.

We have to ask for an understanding heart, then be thankful for exactly where we are.

We wake up each morning and we immediately have two roads to take. We can

lie and be dishonest, or we can tell the truth in every situation and be honest with

ourself today. IF this were our last day on earth, how would we spend it? No matter

what. I can see myself growing stronger internally, when I admit the truth. We will

hurt ourself badly if our choice is dishonesty. I now wake up in the morning to his

comforting call and I lay there for my prayerful moment and accept today. For today

there is is a new lesson to learn. Whether we live alone or with others. I am asked to

wake up now to the truth inside me. IF I prayerfully ask for direction, words will come.

I will be assured what I AM to do.

This I know for sure, “Jesus, I believe in you”.

“In the morning, can I quiet my mind to my wakeup call?”

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‘‘Keeping Score” Blog #60

Nobody has any idea how much we all have in common with each other. Just hearing

that fact can be comforting. We get up in the morning. We get dressed. We eat. We

have thoughts throughout the day. STOP

“We have thoughts throughout the day”. This is the biggest sentence that separates

us all. What ARE we thinking about? What gets us motivated? What keeps us stuck?

Are there any of you out there that have been hurt by someone?

I would venture to say “all of us have been hurt by someone, sometime, somewhere.

Yet, how does that work? Who gets to move on and who stays stuck in the muck? Even

yesterday is in the past. Anything we did or did not do yesterday is gone now. Yes, if we

hurt someone and we are aware and want to bring forgiveness Into place, We can

state, “I’m genuinely sorry for hurting you”.

If the time is not right. If the person is not ready. There first must be truth. Then there

must be accountability. THEN there must be the “actual action of showing remorse”.

So, keeping score? Hmmmm. Is this just a means to NO end? Where in lies the good?

All that energy spent on what, and for how long? Someone might say - “but I need to

remember how many times they hurt me!”

I would say to that, and remember to ask yourself, “how many times will I hurt ME?”

When we are in the wrong place, at the wrong time with the wrong person, it’s noisy and

complicated and energy is irritable. Still truth IS there. The quiet, subtle, honest voice of

truth is there, waiting.

Honest, cold truth is never loud. It’s ones conscience. THIS is the way we know we ought

to live internally. Quietness only comes into view when we search inward for it. More

often then not, we cannot do this alone. Fear takes over, controls the mind and shuts

the door to truth. Each of us believe we can do it alone. After all, we’ve come this far?

Have we not. But what a bumpy, sad lonely road many of us travel insisting on “our own

way”. We insist we need no one. we set our mind on the way its going to be and that is

that! We keep score of our past, what “we feel” has worked and hasn’t. Who has hurt us!

I step in here quickly and truthfully say this today.

We don’t have to keep score any more. It just doesn’t matter. We don’t have to do it

our own way, its not working anyway. We don’t have to be sad because, HE is waiting for

real. HE is ready to take us into the realm of peace and say, “it’s all okay. It doesn’t

matter where you have been. What you think, because today IF you choose to close

your eyes, fold your hands, I AM here to help.“ See? HE does hear you. He does care for

you.

Only HE is the door and lets you into an awareness you cannot imagine, exists. I know of

a friend that did not talk to their brother for weeks and then the weeks turned into

months and years. Their anger kept them apart. When my friends brother suddenly

had a heart attack, my friend had forgotten what they were angry about in the first

place. So many of us want to do it our way, because we have “free will”. Then we wind

up going full circle to realize this one honest fact. “NOT my will be done Lord, but thy will

be done”. This is where life becomes easier. Keeping Score has a lot to do with my hurt

and anger and a lot of regret. …..can’t seem to let go of, day in and day out ….thinking

…..thinking…thinking…..

I remember being so upset with a family member because they never called me. I kept

score all right, I thought back to the very last day we had talked and I for one was not

going to call them until they could pick up the phone and call me! Look what a good

person I am in their life right? Look how good I have been to them? why should I bend

over backwards.?”

Because NOW is the time when it is MOST important. To humble oneself. To NOT keep

score, just call the number and watch what happens. Don’t second guess it, because

that is keeping score to. It’s not up to me to decide the outcome! Let me tell you why.

So often, more often then not, “it will not be the outcome I THINK it is”. More often then

not, it’s time to call that number, see what happens! WHY? Because life is all about

GIVING not getting. Not keeping score if you called or they called….in the end, this is what

matters, our heart. What matters is my heart. (Now this is not a message for those in

abusive relationships, you should not be in one.) This is all about having a change of

heart with those close to you, becoming the “bigger person”. Showing up for that

person when you really know they can’t show up for you. Finding a time in your day to

just give of yourself and let them hear your voice. Even if you have to leave a message.

Leave a “heartfelt” message, as if it were your last. Do each of us live day in and day out

as though it were our last?

Or are we too busy keeping score, how different would our life be if we just picked up the

phone and called all those people dear to us but are “removed because of judgement

and keeping score”? How different would living be? In abusive family relationships,

where we have tried over and over again to fix things, this is not our job. Our job is only

to keep a truthful door open. Sometimes a simple “check-in call” is all that is needed to

keep the door open. This is our lesson to figure out. Regarding our children until they

are 18 and living at home, it is up to us as parents to let them feel our love

unconditionally. Sometimes family members are stuck in darkness and an illusion of the

way it is. We need to continue to reach out with truth. We might want to say to a family

member, “nothing you can do will make me stop loving you, so stop trying.” “Your family

will never be in your way, they ARE the way to understanding your truth.”

“Can I pray to stop keeping score today and forgive?”

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“Tough Choices” Blog #59

What is a hard choice I have put off, but I need to make? What is unhealthy in my life

that gets my attention now? How can I do the right thing, when its just too hard?

Every one of the questions above have to do with one thing, using my healthy mind.

For most of my life when I was younger, I took my own health for granted. I never really

thought about whether I felt good or bad or how I treated my own body. Everything in

my life depended on the mood I was in at the time, this dictated what I would do. As I

look back its amazing how I took the things I drank and the food I ate, for granted.

Cheeseburgers, French fries and coke - no big deal. Lots of wine to relax. Above all,

almost daily, chocolate and packaged candy were my constant. I was depressed a lot,

with tons of migraine headaches and mood swings. Funny, I had absolutely no clue why

this was. I was clueless in knowing good health habits. No one told me, “You are what

you EAT and drink”. Nervous almost all the time, there was nothing I could attribute this

too. There were all those nights of tossing and turning and not sleeping well because

I was always so anxious. I decided to do something about it and my health changed.

One day I was speaking at a Real Estate function and I was talking about how my

change in heart and my change in healthy life style led to tough choices in my life.

I had just finished my talk when a pretty young woman came up and wanted to talk with

me. She started telling me how she was excited about selling houses. Yet, her anxiety

and fear had been keeping her from doing this. Then her life changed. Her own bad

choices and unhealthy lifestyle had been with her for a long time. She went on to say

that she ate McDonalds and fast food constantly. She smoked and loved candy and at

least a half dozen bottles of soda pop every day. She told me that she had been all

worn out throughout her teen years and now barely into her twenties, she was tired of

feeling this way. So less than a month before she met me, she took all of the processed

fast foods out of her life. She substituted all junk food for fruit and nuts. And her choice of

drink? Almost always she drank purified water. Now a month later, her tough choices,

just like mine, had paid off. She was feeling healthy!

Remember, SUGAR compromises the Immune system, brings in sickness and bad health.

IF you must eat sweets, eat sweets AFTER good food is in your body.

So what is another tough choice that troubled me?

My anxiety and impulsive behavior, coupled with my fear of failure kept me from finding

the time for myself. When could I find time, quietly, purposefully, now for me? Finding

time for me had to be a specific appointment that went right into my phone. “30

minutes - Positive Peacetime” and or walking/exercize. It sounds almost laughable to

say its hard to carve out the time just for me. Yet, look at the world around us. Every part

of our day is filled with noise and business. People constantly coming and going and

every one has something going on!

ITS ONLY WHEN I STOP, LOOK AND LISTEN TO MY OWN HIGHER SELF…THAT I CONNECT.

A tough choice is two-fold:

1. First, I must have a “Change of Heart” (this happens with Discipline)

2. Second, I must “Forgive myself” for ALL I have done in the past to self & anyone.

We are all tempted in so very many ways. So now we have to look at the “QUALITY” of

our character. THIS tells us “how“ we deal with temptation. “What do I want to do with

the temptation at hand?” I promise you I have rationalized with my own mind hundreds

of times in so many ways. “One more drink because of this or that, one more day of

eating gross, disgusting food, one more day of putting up with someone else’s abuse

towards me”, and on it goes.

We are in this together. There is only one huge part that starts to separate us.

DISCIPLINE. Can you imagine how powerful you and I can become with this? HOW we

discipline our life is critical. Wow, then the doubt begins to disappear! When I discipline

myself, I not only stop doubting myself but my own higher self power comes into play

immediately, such a free feeling of goodness. The hardest thing to do is not to worry.

We worry about everything we can possibly think about because that is the way we

humans are made. Worry, bite my nails, worry, take a drink, worry eat some comfort

food especially late at night! An important tough choice is: DECIDE NOW to discipline

worry away BABY STEPS.

How to do this? Start like this, visualize something beautiful in your mind. It might be a

brilliant, peaceful, glorious sunset. A calm, serene lake at dusk, or the morning snow

untouched by human hands. There are so many peaceful pictures in our mind. A tough

choice is doing something different that we are not used to doing. Remember internally

to say “I CAN DO THIS TODAY BECAUSE DISCIPLINE IS GOOD FOR ME”.

Now I do a couple things completely different today. Have you ever watched at the

grocery store how every body’s grocery cart is usually different? WE are all different and

this is good. Can I buy some different, healthy foods for self today? We are unique, and

filled with choices, hundreds and thousands of choices daily. The tough choices we

somehow push into the back and ITS TIME TO BRING THEM FOREFRONT. We all have to

know where we are going, even if it is only for today!

I love the part out of “ Alice’s Adventure in Wonderland” when she comes face to face

with the Cheshire Cat. Here is a bit of their conversation. Alice says to the Cat, “would

you tell me please, which way I ought to walk from here?” The cat looks oddly at her and

speaks, “that depends a good deal on where you want to get to”. “I don’t much care

where” said Alice. “Then it doesn’t matter which way you walk”, said the Cat.

A tough choice will appear for each of us every day. It’s all ok. Sometime it will be

easy to choose, other times it will be hard, an old habit to push to the way back.

At any point, I now say, the toughest choices I can deal with and pray on first. I find I am

stronger, more confident and less anxious when my day is “disciplined out” with good

healthy food, some form of exercise and above all prayer. Now I AM balanced.

Following is a great saying,

“I choose to live by choice, not by chance,

To be motivated, not manipulated,

to be useful, not used,

to make changes, not excuses,

to excel and not compete,

I choose self-esteem, over self -pity.

I choose to listen to my inner, higher voice,

I will Not listen to the random opinion of others.

Anonymous.

Can you make a tough choice today, and pray for Discipline?”

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Fair Warning” Blog # 58

“IF it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and acts like a duck….is it a duck?” “Doing the

same things over and over, and expecting different results, are…?” “Even if I am on the

right track, will I get run over, if I just sit here?” The above quotes people have heard over

and over. What do all three have in common? They give Fair Warning of life ahead. Life

is full of warnings.

I am alive and expected to follow the rules. Its only when we fudge, look the other way

or justify reasons why we don’t have to do what “our conscience tells us to do, that we

start the snow ball rolling down the hill, getting bigger and bigger, ready to strike at any

moment.

Probably one of the greatest Fair Warnings is “Time”. Time waits for no one. The clock is

our master time keeper. In our life we run against the clock daily. I love the following

poem - it is Anonymous.

“To realize the value of One Year,

Ask a student who failed his or her final exams.

To realize the value of One Month,

Ask a Mother who gave birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of One Week,

Ask an editor of a weekly magazine.

To realize the value of One Day,

Ask a daily wage laborer who has six kids to feed.

To realize the value of One Hour,

Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.

To realize the value of One Minute,

As a person who missed their train.

To realize the value of One Second,

Ask the person who survived an accident.

To realize the value of One Millisecond,

Ask the person who won a Silver Medal in the Olympics.

To appreciate the value of time, makes all the difference in one’s day. What is expected

of each and every one of us? I AM thankful that I have each hour of every day to make

a positive difference. In order to succeed in life I believe we must have the following:

INTEGRITY. “THE QUALITY OF BEING HONEST AND HAVING STRONG MORAL PRINCIPLES,

INTEGRITY IS THE STATE OF BEING WHOLE AND UNDEVIDED”

A person is good; who is filled with Honesty, Compassion and Kindness. If I start each

day this way, I attract goodness and know how to spend quality time. From the time we

are little children we are given Fair Warning about the basic rules of life. There is the

“Golden Rule” - “Do unto others as you would have them do unto to you”. Treat each

other with respect. Keep lies and deceit away. Follow rules of life daily. Yet wait a

minute, what if we are raised in a family where rules are not followed? What if parents

are selfish, cruel, abuse themselves and their children? Where do the children go when

they grow older? For a time, they may be attracted to the wrong side of the tracks. Still I

believe we are all given choice and chance to change. We have a built in compass of

“truthful awareness”. We know inside right from wrong.

I remember we had friends who wanted to give their children everything. They wanted

to buy their children all the world had to offer. But inside, the children wanted none of it.

They internally knew they had to find their own way when becoming adults. The spoiled

children ran off and the parents ran after them. They did everything they could to bribe

them with a new car and a beautiful life style. Suddenly, the children needed space, for

they had become adults. Bright, intelligent and strong headed, they needed to learn

about life by falling down. It was time for bravery. Time to get up on their own, show up

for themself and find out what life is all about, all alone, learning to be confident. It is

only then that respect, appreciation and kindness fall into place between parent and

child. TRUST comes along. I remember my friend told me how excited she was to give

her son the family heirloom when it was time for him to marry. However, the son felt

dismayed and wanted to work to earn the money to buy the ring for his future bride, all

by himself. Life has so many twists and turns. We need to trust when the time is right to

push them out of the nest and let them fly. Too many parents out there treat their kids

like their best friends and they are not doing them any favors!

Too often parents came to the rescue, parents pay for childrens mistakes and turn their

backs on all their childens cruel behavior toward them. Warning signs are there. In

time, both parents and children lose sight of bounderies for one another. The parents

had lost sight of their own needs and became caretakers instead of caregivers.

In the end, each party loses respect for the other. Fair warning signs were thrown to the

wind. The rule of life, completely overlooked. When a child becomes a healthy adult,

time to “trust them with freedom”, time to let them go out into the world on their own.

Our adult children, in the adult world, need to feel good about making decisions for

themselves. They need to figure life out. Of course, there are extenuating

circumstances where college is involved and monies are spent for careers ahead.

Regardless of the home situation, parents need to be respected and give back respect

to their child.

We need only take a deep breath. Put our hands together to center ourself. Pray for the

light to transform our darkness. Then the peaceful, quiet, discernment takes over.

DON’T QUIT

by: Edgar A. Guest

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

when the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debt is high,

And you want to smile but you have to sigh.

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if you must, but don’t you Quit.

Life is strange, with its twists and turns,

As everyone of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about,

When he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow,

You might succeed with another blow.

Often the struggler has given up,

When he might have captured the Winners Cup,

And he learned too late when the night slipped down,

How close he was to the Golden Crown.

Success is failure turned inside out,

The silver lining of clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

IT may be near when it seems so far,

So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit,

It’s when things seem the worst that you must not quit!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I believe, The Fair Warning signs in life are - three major ones. First and foremost, l obey

the Ten Commandments today and every day. Then I remember to Follow my “heart

and not my emotions” in critical thinking. Last but not least, I remember my “Body IS the

Temple of God” I give my body good health, kindness, exercise and I forgive myself and

others each day in prayer.

Am I following the “Fair Warning” signs today?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

‘‘Forgiveness'' Blog #57

Why bother with forgiving myself - Today’s a new day, why not just live it?

IF self-worth and self-esteem are so important, what part does Forgiving Self play?

What is the real definition of “Forgiveness?” Forgiveness: “The intentional voluntary

process by which one who initially feels victimized or wronged, goes through a CHANGE

IN FEELINGS, and ATTITUDE, regarding self, and/or a given offender, and overcomes the

impact of negative emotions (resentment, hate, denial, a desire for vengenance) where

forgiveness REPLACES negative emotions with positive attitudes.”

Every single person alive has had to deal with forgiveness in some sense. When we

cannot bring ourself to forgive ourself and someone else, our thoughts break away from

love and turn our power against us. As much as we feel we have the right to judge

others - we do not. When we stuff away feelings that are NOT love, we get into trouble.

Now you might say, I can’t run around loving myself and everyone all day! That is

just not reasonable. True…. However, it is when we begin to JUDGE, scales are tipped.

When we judge others, we lose the gift of forgiveness. IF we are willing to forgive ourself

and others, then we let go of anger, resentment, guilt, denial and fear.

What is fear? False Events Appearing Real. When we are ready to try something new,

we see the past as it is: THE PAST. There is only one reason why a persons past haunts

them and that is because situations, people, events have not been dealt with in a

healthy, forgiving way. To carry burdens from the past, weighs down the human heart.

However, it’s tricky because each of us has our own separate lessons in “healing our

heart with forgiveness”. You can ONLY find forgiveness when the words “but what

about…” or “You don’t understand what they did….” are gone.

I give you an example of what I am talking about. For years and years I watched and

could do nothing as my parents fought their battle of life around me. I watched in

sadness as my brother became abused and addicted to drugs and I could do nothing

to help him. I watched my family become victims of drugs and alcoholism.

Resentment, hatred and anger consumed me. I watched my alcoholic, abusive father

die at a young age consumed with cancer and I fought the Love/hate feelings inside

me that kept me from seeing him until his funeral. I lived for so many years in an

isolated, angry world. I became a workaholic and refused to even look at forgiveness,

until one day my life changed and got even worse. My own mother was killed by a drug

addict and I swore I would never forgive him. However after more years of living in

denial, anger and hatred. I could not take these inner feelings of dread any longer. Lost

in a busy world that had no time for my inner feelings, I knew I was afraid to be

vulnerable. Feelings inside of me were wretched and growing with more anger and

bitterness. No sign of forgiveness. I had to seek a spiritual way out, or my health would

seriously suffer. My anxiety, panic and grief were over the top. I was spiraling out of

control with nothing left.

I put my hands together and prayed for help to forgive. Suddenly something told me to

drive myself to the institution where a man was held. I wanted to see his face, look at

him, because I had something to tell him. I asked the guards to get him and when they

brought him into the room I said, “I forgive you for killing my mother.” That was all I had

to do, I had to be forgiving..

As I left that morning, it was snowing and I was crying very hard, but I no longer felt

alone. Internally there was a tremendous shift in my thinking… I can only say it felt like a

huge iron weight had been lifted from my heart. I was given an awareness this person

would carry the horrific deed he had done, with him for all eternity, Yet, in my

forgiveness of this man, I was freed from all my unforgiving anger.

For years and years I continued to study and learn about the inner workings of truth. My

faith kept me stronger each day. Until the unimaginable happened. My precious,

beloved eldest daughter had chosen a dark path. She believed in the Dark Lie” in life

and fell victim to alcohol and drugs. Alas, leaving behind two precious boys in the wake

of her death.

Anyone might say to me, now you throw in the towel, right? Where is your God now?

Still, in all my heartache and sadness, and sorrow, I recalled words I had heard many

times before. “You can never save someone from themself”

My beautiful daughter had given in to darkness. I needed to stay focused on the light of

Christ within me. I had to let go and let God take over once again.

I choose to leave you with this poem called:

“TRUE AWARENESS”

Anonymous

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve,

I was made weak, that I might learn to humbly obey.

I asked God for health, that I might do greater things,

I was given infirmity that I might do better things.

I asked God for riches that I might be happy,

I was given poverty that I might be wise.

I asked God for power, that I might have the praise of men,

I was given weakness, that I might feel the need for God.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life,

I was given life that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I’d hoped for.

Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.

I am among all people . . . . most richly blessed !

Lent is now upon us. For forty days and forty nights a man went out into the desert to

find a way to accept his fate. He was the personification of good. He was everything we

all want to be, but cannot. The fact that no amount of love, no amount of kindness, no

amount of truth mattered. Still the people raged in anger, hate and misjudgement.

They stoned him, persecuted him, put a crown of thorns upon his head and stabbed

him in his side. At the end, he looked down on all the people and quietly cried saying,

“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do”.

“Can you try to find forgiveness for someone unconditionally today?”

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“Healthy Habits” Blog #56

Whats on your mind when you wake up every morning? It doesn’t take much to figure

out that fear, stress and worry are the main ingredients for poor mental health.

Following is a brilliant piece of prose that I found while reading Sean Covey’s Book;

“Seven Habits of Highly Effective ….”

WHO AM I?

“I am your constant companion. I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will

push you onward or drag you down to failure. I am completely at your command. Half

the things you do, you might just as well turn over to me and I will be able to do them

quickly and correctly. I am easily managed - you must merely be firm with me. Show

me exactly how you want something done and after a few lessons I will do it

automatically. I am the servant of all great individuals and, alas, of all failures as well.

Those who are great I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine plus the

intelligence of a human. You may run me for a profit or run me for ruin — It makes no

difference to me, take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your

feel. Be easy with me, and I will destroy you. WHO AM I?

“I AM HABIT”

How important are the Daily Habits of our lives? Our habits can wear us down in many

ways. There are habits of bad eating. Habits of bad friendships. Habits with drugs and

alcohol and lies. Our habits of being with the wrong people and doing the wrong things

day after day can destroy our self confidence and self worth. Our habits form a pattern

to either build us up or break us down. Our habits can be a recipe for disaster, or a

recipe for success. Some repetitive bad habits are thinking negatively, blaming others

and putting off important things to do. These are countered by Good habits of

exercising daily (30 minutes of exercise releases Endorphins into the body which are

natural stress releasers). Reading and meditating and saying affirmations to self.

Examples of good affirmations are always prefaced with positive words after “I AM”…..

“I Am aligned with goodness, I AM balanced, I AM courageous, I AM disciplined,

I AM enlightened, I AM fearless, I AM goodness, I AM healthy, I AM integrity”. I do this ten

times for each letter through the alphabet. After my morning prayer, a big bottle of

fresh water, maybe two bottles start my good habits I know this helps flush out the

“toxins” in my body, making me feel renewed.

Mornings when ready, I take a good half hour walk, saying affirrmations all the while

on my walk. Breakfast is important to me and I choose healthy food in place of

sweets. IF I cannot exercise, I find ten minutes for deep breathing, quiet and peaceful

prayer. My day is immediately more focused and much improved.

A famous writer Samuel Smiles said it like this:

“Sow a thought, and you reap an act,

Sow an act, and you reap a habit;

Sow a habit, and you reap a character,

sow a character and you reap a destiny”.

Every single day is made up of all our habits - WHAT ARE THEY? It is important to point

out, that we are stronger than any bad habits! That being said, we can change bad

habits immediately! This is because our mind is in complete control of what we do.

So when we wake up in the morning and go to the mirror we can say, “I AM a good

person. Thank you God for helping me choose wisely today".

First, I decide not to lie to myself. It is only then, I can see my authentic self.

This “Higher Self” is when I am able to take control over my life. Understand we need to

spend time with a person who believes in us and builds us up, not tears us down. A bad

habit involves “caretaking other people” with a sense of neediness. This brings in a

feeling of hopelessness and allows for more disrespectful behavior without any

consequences. Each of us need to be respected. First we start with respect for ourself.

Only then can we demand respect unconditionally. Bounderies must be in place for

our own integrity or we will never be respected. There must be “Tough Love” in place for

many of those close to us. REMOVE those people who fill a “social vacuum in our lives”.

This means don’t be afraid of being alone! It is far better to have quality than quantity.

One might be lonely for a while, but in our alone-ness, we find a “higher purpose”.

it is better to start over and be alone then being with someone who hurts you.

Start new and. pray to find a religious outlet and a healthy search for new friends.

People should be in our life to give us positive feedback, honest loving support and

healthy, fun loving memories!

Every day habits of negativity should not control us! We are not here to create turmoil,

cause havoc and bring in darkness - Truthful, honest, healthy habits build us up. We

need to become stronger everyday with inner higher self direction. I got to a point in

my life where I felt I really needed counseling. I saw a very experienced forty year

veteran in psychology who opened my eyes. He said to me: “You are addicted to

unhealthy drama”. He went on to tell me that “Healthy, normal, good people appeared

boring to me.” Alarmed, I asked him why this was? He smiled at me saying:

“You have lived in a family with such dysfunction for so long, that you were only

attracted to people who had alot of chaos around them because this felt natural to

you”. I was so taken aback as I thought about it - I realized he was absolutely correct.

So I set out to break that habit. I got up every morning and prayed a little prayer when I

looked in the mirror. I told myself I will attract healthy, supportive, good people into my

life. I told myself as I walked twice a day for thirty minutes each time, “I AM a good,

healthy, peace-filled person”. Breaking this habit, I said to myself “with God in my life, I

have nothing to fear”

I have never stopped doing my affirmations every single day.

As I go on my walks, I do affirmations and I become more and more centered. Healthy

Habits start every single morning with a prayer while still in bed. Simply said: “Help me

Lord, I cannot do it alone today, thank you”.

Breakfast is important. Eat something healthy. Try fruit, yogert, all grain cereal, free

range eggs, and/or protein bar for snack. Then lunch can be fruit smoothie or soup and

salad protein snack and dinner is more salad with fish and lots of vegetables, potatoes,

or hot soup. Water is major: I try to drink one half of my body weight: (If 120 pounds)

60 oz. = 4 bottles of purified water. = 15 oz. bottles= 4) I wake up and drink one to two

bottles in the morning. Later in the afternoon another water and one at night before my

dinner. NO dark television shows, they are too disturbing. Even the news at times can

be so graphic I turn it off. Above all Daily Habits need to be Healthy. Higher self driven.

We can all do this, a little bit at a time.

Each of us can learn to be at peace with being alone. Time alone is strengthening.

Quiet time is very healing and a time to connect with the Holy Spirit within each of us.

It’s time now for courage to approach the wall of fear in our lives, and ask for help.

See the wall turn into a doorway where HE is waiting to help us grow.

“Can you Help me have healthy habits today Lord”?

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“Avoid Evil” Blog #55

The definition of Evil: “Profound immorality and wickedness, especially when regarded as a supernatural force, or as in peoples actions, harmful or undesirable…”

Are violent/horror movies ok to watch? (dark energy into the atmosphere around)

Dark, rap music a good thing to listen to? (more dark energy into the mind)

Whats wrong with getting high or smoking weed? (giving up our free will to evil)

Any or all of the above can affect the way you look and live and see your life daily.

There was a wonderful article written about the extreme affects of alcohol on a person

who eventually becomes an alcoholic. A renowned metaphysical doctor said that he

walked into a bar late one night to meet a friend. He did not drink himself and was

a very evolved person. At any rate, he shared how he stood in the packed bar and

noticed one man in particular, who was very drunk. He watched awhile longer and

witnessed this man drink to the point of oblivion. He now was ready to pass out. At

this point, the doctor believed that the man had given up “his free will”. He was no

longer in control of what was happening to him. The next thing the doctor witnessed

was quite unbelievable. He said because he felt he was so evolved, he was able to

see and feel things alot of people are not able to do.

“He saw a reddish dark evil energy penetrate into the top of the mans head” just as

surely as night becomes day. Now you or I may say to ourselves, that is simply

absurd! Yet, what if its not? What if when people drink too much or take drugs and they

then unconsciously give up their “Free Will? Have you ever heard the saying, “The devil

made me do it?” I know I have shared something out of the norm, yet who really knows

for sure? Why DO people do things, mean, cruel, violent…that they regret later? So often

people say in a drug or drunken stupor that they have no idea what they were doing.

They were living in a “total black out”. What a careless, callous, cruel way to live ones life.

Every one of us know some kind of event or story or reason, why we think and believe

the way that we do. This makes up our belief system.

At all costs, its important to insulate, protect and keep sacred the human spirit.

The body is truly the Temple of God. Every day we can become stronger internally.

We have the means to do this. Our mind can think whatever we want it to. Find good

things to learn about every day. If you have children, keep them OFF of social media on

the Internet. This is way too dangerous, period. “THE AVERAGE PARENT SPENDS 3.5

MINUTES A WEEK INTERACTING WITH THEIR CHILDREN” (Raising Healthy Teenagers”)

Yesterday I read about Senators Blumenthal and Blackburn unveiling a Bill called “Kids

Online Safety Act” keeping children off internet until age 18. “We have no idea just how

dangerous the Internet is”, they stated. “It is gut wrenching”.

So there is a myriad of reasons why my Christian Faith makes me feel secure. I just

outlined the “way the world is working now and most of it is saturated in darkness. It is

not necessary to have a discussion about whether or not Evil exists. Just turn on the

radio at any time of your day. Yesterday, Michigan University on a Sunday night had

three students gunned down, with more wounded in the hospital and the man who did

it killed himself. “Drug overdoses have reached record high with teen deaths in the

United States using Marajuana laced with Fetanyl and synthetic opioids reachng

unprecedented levels…/CNN 23”

“Non religious population now makes up half of the USA”. (Pew Research”19) Wilkinson &

Finkreiner, state “Every 42 seconds there is a divorce in America”. Definitely there are

more people just living together than getting married, its easier, but does it feel like

“the right thing to be doing?” Yet, does any of it matter anyway? When do or did

we decide to throw away “our moral compass?”

Perhaps people find that its easier to sit and stare at the the computer in darkness.

Why “turn the light on in our life, is it just too uncomfortable?”

For many of us, there are internal lies that begin to appear like the drip of a faucet.

Let’s take Social Media. So much a part of our day. It is now so prevalent and so much

an accepted part of our daily life that (TRT World) states: “ The average person spends 9 - 10 hours a day on social media”. Kids are getting into Snap Chat feeds and

interacting with bullies. Average age of smart phones to kids is 10 years old. Kids are

becoming incredibly depressed from Social Media.!

What ARE they taking in? What ARE we watching? What changes our beliefs? What

especially are “young people” seeing, absorbing, and believing?”

The American Journal of Public Health just posed: “There is increasing evidence that

the Internet and Social Media influences (teen) suicide and suicide related behavior”.

”Self Harm posts are surging on Twitter” ….and Teen suicide especially in teen GIRLS has

skyrocketed……” There is a post that is called the “art of seduction” read by little kids!

In “USA Today: “Three quarters of all teens have watched pornography on the internet”.

After all these statistics, where does Good versus Evil sit? It’s there but we need to look.

More and more parents are using the Internet as a babysitter for their children. More

and more people are addicted to harmful sites on the internet and unable to stop.

I remember when the Apple computer came out and I got an Apple iPhone. One night I

sat in the dark and was looking at the front of my phone, I suddenly became aware of

the apple on the front of my computer with a “bite out of the apple”.

For the first time, this reminded me of Satan tempting Eve in the Garden of Eden with the

apple, coincidence? The way things are headed, I don’t really think so. I have talked

about these things to bring you new awareness. It’s important to have an

understanding of the world we live in now and if you read my Blog, why I write about the

things I do.

In a few simple words, My Christian Faith IS my insurance policy for my life. I can’t

imagine living life without it. Waking up in the morning, I need to believe in HIM.

Throughout the day, I need to feel protected and when I go to sleep, I pray to forgive.

We are tested in different ways, this is the only “marker” for our internal growth, our faith.

The world is so complicated with billions of people, historic and profound inventions.

Does it make sense to believe all of life is for naught? All goes up in a puff of smoke!!

Nothing left, not even our soul? Absolutely not! Our soul lives on after death we go

home. The real truth exists by simply looking around. In the vast universe, Love and

beauty and goodness prevail. IF they did not, we could not survive a moment longer.

Hope would most certainly die. Billions of people who believe, would believe in vain.

So we must believe. Gods Son came to show us HIS Good.

HIS TRUTH replaces the lie. HIS LOVE replaces the hate. HIS LIGHT replaces the dark.

At all costs, .avoid evil. The real definition of EVIL, Living backwards!

Spell it forwards: it spells L I V E. We are born into the world to use a Higher Nature.

To understand we have two natures: Why do we have two natures? This is

because we are given FREE WILL. We are allowed to decide for ourself in everything.

So we have a “lower self nature” and a “higher self nature”. This is the good part.

In my body where I live, this is how I think; “ I choose to have a positive, higher self

attitude every day. I exercise and walk. I have good nutrition, I drink one-half my body

weight in water daily. Minimum; 4 bottles of water. (I understand that sugar

compromises the immune system and brings in disease) I study and I read and I say

affirmations. I choose to only attract loving, healthy people into my world”.

Inside our conscience mind IS truth. The Devine Light is within us all. It is waiting to

connect. Remember: we have Free Will. We are asked now, to invite the Holy Spirit into

our life. Each one of us must be brave, decide to discipline with good habits daily. Now

I leave you with GOOD NEWS. Today I heard that Asbury University in Kentucky is on its

10th Day of a Marathon Church Service. People from all over the county have been just

showing up, witnessing and telling their story of healing. Nobody knows how it started

happening? AND the number one book still selling in the county today: the Bible.

I leave you with the little prayer I like to say daily:

Serenity Prayer:

“God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the Courage to change the things I can -

and the Wisdom to know the difference”

“Can you ask for Higher Self clarity today?”

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“ALL Alone” Blog #54

I remember I was driving very fast. I had to get home and that’s all that mattered.

It didn’t matter that it was a snowy slippery, VERY dark night yet, I was driving way too

fast. As I came around the corner, I did not see the roads sharp turn once again.

I braked but it was too late, I hit two trees head on. Later, they told me my car was

accordianed and no one understood how I was flung from the car and miraculously

saved that night. Obviously, it was not my time to go. The next thing I remember was

laying in the hospital hearing the doctor say I had a 50/50 chance of survival. However,

through all of this, something inside me told me “You are not alone”. I definitely believed

in prayer not to give up, throw in the towel or stop living.

The car accident I speak of happened over fifty years ago, but I am tuned into one

specific fact, convinced beyond the shadow of a doubt, I am never alone. I believe

none of us, are ever left alone.

As I laid in my hospital bed hurting in places I didn’t even know I could hurt, I just

remember how something came over me, quieting me. There was an inner voice

a providence of peace stronger that any force I had ever felt. I will never forget it.

I sensed a pull or a push as if spurning me onward and telling me to not give up.

I see now, a miracle takes place when one lets go and brings in Power of Prayer.

Over the years, have seen Miracles at work in my own life. People can change in a

breath.

Events take place that were never thought to be. At times, I used to think when I was

young, the universe heard me say this and yelled back; “Okay, here comes some more

heartache”. And so went my life.

Yet, all through my life when I resorted to “lower self thinking and actions”, I just

experienced more heartache. Yet, the peaks and valleys combine to make us much

stronger. My own trials and tribulations have made me kinder, more compassionate.

My own tears of suffering have shown how others suffer too, this makes me feel less

judgmental every day. In the real world, losing a loved one is permanent. Then making

that choice to go on, one reflects where in the world does indescribable inner strength

come from? No one person can feel another persons pain, recognize their suffering,

sense their loss, unless each of us can authentically choose to say “there but for the

grace of God…..go I”.

I remember one day I was so mad at a friend for monopolizing our conversation and

just talking about herself. Then just when I was ready to tell her off, she called and told

me about a serious health issue she was now dealing with. How quickly the tables turn.

What is important in our relationships each day? I understand there are times when it’s

important to clear ones head, take a walk, and THEN pray for discernment. (to choose

wisely)

However, in desperation, in solitude and misery one can slide quickly out of “choice and

get stuck in “desperation mode” This is DECIDED DARKNESS.

There is only one healthy choice, move out of this lower self thinking. ASK for Devine help

and PRAY to invite the Holy Spirit in! Simply say, “Thank you for helping me NOW Lord”.

Now we are open and the light of Christ pours into our inner sanctum….into our heart

and soul and mind. It is here and now that desperation is quickly replaced with:

discernment. ……. detachment……… discipline.

Discernment now allows choice to make the right decision for “self.” Detachment

separates the “lower self” in darkness pushing thru, up into “higher self”. Discipline

showing how to stay on track, NOT SLIP BACK INTO DARKNESS. WHY am I so set on talking

about “Lower Self “versus the “Higher Self?” Because There is a fight going on day and

night between these two natures! The lower self nature is filled with “I am all alone!!”

“Poor me!”, “look what I’m going through!”…..obsessing, analyzing and magnifying

personal problems constantly. STOP saying “no one understands what I am going thru”.

This is a false belief. Try this new way for instant, powerful results.

Where is the “Higher Self” in all of this? Right inside each one of us.

Waiting……. waiting….

Patiently waiting with Jesus right there. Waiting for us to make this HIGHER choice. HE is

ready to hold our hand and let me and you feel we are NEVER alone. Higher Self thinking

keeps “depression” at bay! You are powerful internally by feeling HIS hand in yours.

Did you know your light (once it is eternally lit) will never go out? Billions of people DO

BELIEVE ….. they DO believe there is a God. From the day we arrive on this earth, we are

given a Guardian Angel. Do you want to know your own Guardian Angel’s name? At

night just before you go to sleep, close your eyes and simply ask. Ask the name of your

Guardian Angel and suddenly a name will pop into your head! Now we feel we are

watched over. Feeling all this unseen help is comforting. Every one of us can now grow

stronger, be better, feel braver in this knowledge.

I share a small true story which I hope empowers you even more. Years ago during

WWII there was a young fighter pilot who was with the Royal Canadian Air Force. John

loved flying more than anything else and was stationed outside of London. In the

middle of a raging war while John was in London, he decided to write a poem about his

flying experiences. He sent a copy of this poem he wrote to his family back home. Just

three months after he sent the poem, he was tragically killed in a mid air collision

training accident.

John Gillespie was only nineteen years old. Here is the poem he wrote:

“HIGH FLIGHT”

By John Gillespie

“OH ! I HAVE SLIPPED THE SURLY BONDS OF EARTH AND DANCED THE SKIES

ON LAUGHTER-SILVERED WINGS,

SUNWARD I’VE CLIMBED, AND JOINED THE TUMBLING MIRTH OF SUN-SPLIT CLOUDS

AND DONE A HUNDRED THINGS YOU HAVE NOT DREAMED OF—

WHEELED AND SOARED AND SWUNG

HIGH IN THE SUNLIT SILENCE. HOVERING THERE, I’VE CHASED THE SHOUTING WIND ALONG,

AND FLUNG MY EAGER CRAFT THROUGH FOOTLESS HALLS OF AIR

UP, UP THE LONG, DELIRIOUS BURNING BLUE

I’VE TOPPED THE WIND-SWEPT HEIGHTS WITH EASY GRACE

WHERE NEVER LARK NOR EVER EAGLE FLEW -

AND WHILE WITH SILENT LIFTING MIND I’VE TROD

THE HIGH UNTRESSPASSED SANCTITY OF SPACE,

PUT OUT MY HAND,

AND TOUCHED THE FACE OF GOD.'

“Can you believe you are never alone?”

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''Heal My Life” Blog #53

There is only one YOU.

A good, healthy life starts with taking care of You. What you see in the mirror, is what

you get - period. Do you check yourself daily for these two things? It’s important to

monitor our Humility and Integrity levels. Are you completely honest with yourself?

Can you forgive yourself daily, forgiving those near and around you? The greatest

challenges lie in those that have come in and out of our life. Have you remembered to

leave the adults to their own “lessons to learn”? Well, a clean slate starts today, we must

admit, we only have today! we are here where we are suppose to be with tools

internally to choose from. Someone once asked what does FEAR stand for?

False - Events - Appearing - Real …… 97% of what we worry about, never happens1

Lets try another word, EVIL. Now, spell it backwards…..

L I V E . That is not a coincidence! None of us want to purposefully live backwards.

Yet, day after day, it appears many of us do the same things, with the wrong outcome.

There is a rhythm to life. We need the pain, the good, the happy the sad to learn all

about ourselves. Life is tough a lot of the time, sometimes its so tough, we stay stuck.

There is a universal understanding about HIS help. First, HE is always there for us. WE

can always depend on this. Then again, human beings were created AND given “FREE

WILL. This is major important because IF we donot ask for help from JESUS we are on our

own. The purpose and intent of prayer is to bring Jesus right to us. Through prayer we

can ask to bring in humility - to humble ourself and see our weakness and failures and

navigate from a lower self thinking to a higher self mode. This type of prayer - “asking to

humble ourself” removes lower self wallowing in fear. Pray for your highest good and for

those who struggle around you.

THEN “let go” after the prayer. For you are now in FAITH mode.

Your prayer was just sent to the “highest problem solver” in the universe. NOW you can

trust 100% your prayer was heard and will be answered in HIS time frame. If you have

faith, then KNOW this is no companion to worry.

In order to Heal My LIfe try hard to STOP these four (4) Habits:

1. Thinking or Obsessing about people or past drama daily

2. Change and control these thoughts or they will control You

3. Hours spent in wasted time on Facebook/texting/internet = NO exercise.

4. Facing Failures judgement/alcohol/self abuse/drugs/worry

Remember: “The Body IS the Temple of God”

BODY - Exercised and balanced with prayer DAILY

MIND - Clear (of confusion/obsessing/addiction)

SPIRIT - AWARE OF THE HOLY SPRIT WITHIN ME SO, I ASK FOR HIS HELP

We we are all given “free Will” - to live life and do it on our terms without HIS help.

That is IF we want to choose that hard, difficult, sad way. Then so be it. Still, we have two

choices to make. Go it alone, or ask for his help and guidance.

So, choose we must, a lower self hard, difficult path or the HIGHER SELF CHOICE that

brings us Jesus Christ who walks with each one of US. No one will ever be given more

they can handle.

Here is one of my favorite poems:

‘FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND’

by: Flora Haines Loughead

….ONE night I dreamed a dream;

As I was walking along the beach with my Lord,

Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.

For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,

One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,

I looked back at the footprints in the sand.

I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,

especially at the lowest and saddest times,

there were only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it,

“Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,

You’d walk with me all the way,

But I noticed that during the saddest and most

troublesome times of my life,

there was only one set of footprints.

I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most -

You would leave me?”

HE whispered, “My precious child, I love you and will never leave you,

Never, ever during your trials and testings,

when you saw only one set of footprints,

It was then that I carried you.”

“Are you ready to have Jesus Carry You?”

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