“My Limits?” Blog #106

What am I waiting for?

Where is my thinking now taking me?

How can I possibly feel strong right now?

Everyone will agree that in twenty four hours time, we will see darkness and we will see

light. IF we only use that truth to stay focused on, we can gain a lot of ground. In order to

defy dark thoughts, there MUST be a replacement of good. In order to change bad habits

to good, there must be a replacement of GOOD HABITS ready to set in place. We all know

the statement, “they talk a good talk”. This means talking, and thinking and talking and

thinking and waiting…but what about the DOING? When I recognize what my limits are, this

is the beginning of a good plan to put in place.

First, I need to ask myself, what are my limits in this life I live? Here is my list -

1. What are limits of how much “outside noise/darkness” seeps into my life daily?

2. What are limits of good food going nto my body vs. bad, unhealthy food daily?

3. How do I limit people in my life who purposely bring me down to their level?

I only addressed three areas of “Limits” that I need to look at each and every day. Yet, my

“limits’ have been going on for years.

Thirty years or more ago, I realized I cannot drink alcohol. I used to drink. Yet, in my brain, I

cannot stop with “One drink” I would prefer the whole bottle. With this understanding and

acceptance and awareness. I was able to put a limit in place immediately. No alcohol. I

added to that no drugs at all. WHY? Because I donot want drugs and alcohol altering my

brain. I WANT TO THINK CLEARLY 24/7.

HERE IS ANOTHER CRITICAL LIMIT - TOXIC PEOPLE. Toxic people are people that live and

dwell and stay in darkness! HOW TO RECOGNIZE THESE PEOPLE?

They do not want to change! These people wake up and go to bed, unhappy. They LOOK

for things to be angry, sad and unhappy about. They dwell on all of their “situations they

have put themselves in” and sadly, they pull in others. IF I have not a friend in the world at

this moment, It is the way it is suppose to be. I must guard my inner self with the light of

love, and truth and laughter, and WAIT.

“My body IS the Temple of God”. Therefore, I DO NOT WANT TO ABUSE IT EVER. There will

always be a time for outside friendship. People appear in our life when they are suppose

to! (Bad and good) Now I MUST FOCUS ON ME. IF I AM OUT OF SORTS, I AM NEEDING TO

LOOK AT “What should I limit?”

Am I bringing in balance, belief in Jesus Christ and bravery? IF there is any part of my life

that is out of sorts, I need to reassess “my limits”. Who or what or where is bringing me

sadness now?

Perhaps there is a person that just cannot be in my life for awhile. THAT’S OKAY.

Perhaps I am burning the candle at both ends. Not getting enough sleep, not eating

healthy food, not bringing “spiritual food: prayer and mediation into my life.

Here is a simple question I ask myself today, “what can make me laugh now?”

Maybe I’ve been too hard on myself without bringing in complete forgiveness

There is a limit to what the human body can and will and must endure.

When I am not looking at “the truth” I can divert to other means of satisfaction. Outside

sources of the “wrong people”, drinking, pills, dark social media, it’s there. Most of us don’t

realize it….. but we are pretty hard on ourselves with looking back. When I talk about limits

today, there are limits of unbelievable hardship on myself IF I allow this to take place. My

Plan of Action requires “releasing past”.

LIMITS ACTUALLY CONTROL MY ENTIRE BEING FROM MORNING TO NIGHT.

There is the limit of not thinking bravely, limiting myself to what I will eat that is good for

me, limiting myself to who I want to be with that is healthy. Maybe I feel healthy people

are boring! Maybe I limit myself to saying I can’t cook, so why eat healthy food? I limit

myself to finding new healthy places to explore, either in person, and actually “going

there!” Or, online find new resources for “Healthy endeavors”. So if I am willing to admit it -

"All the limits I have placed in my life - Limit me wishing and hoping and thinking……these

are the very essence of LIMITATION.

Waking up this morning….. saying this, “I don’t feel good, my mind is distressed, no-one likes

me, I have no friends, no one understands me, I can’t find a place in this world, I don’t

belong! This kind of thinking is dark, dangerous and MUST GO. Here’s how I address these

thoughts, I wake up saying, “Thank you Lord for giving me this day to feel, act and do all

that I can in your name”. My mind is NOT distressed. My mind is healthy, filled with

potential and alert” I see that I am alone and at the moment no close friends - I thank you

Lord for bringing a companion into my life IF it is Thy Will not my will. I also feel completely

secure, settled and safe knowing you are at my side, I am not alone. I feel, know and

believe that YOU understand me Jesus and that’s all I need.

Lastly - I truly understand that right now, in this place, I am right where I am suppose to be

and I will do all I can to learn, and let go and love You, myself and my fellow man.

These are the thoughts that I wake up thinking now. I release my limitations on the dark

hold that tries to bind me. For it is way too often that we could spend an entire lifetime

living within “lasting limitations of sadness”. So, NO to that. I must SAY TO MYSELF TODAY, “I

IGNORE DARK LIMITATIONS. I AM INSTILLING HEALTHY LIMITATIONS. I FOCUS ON POSITIVE

THINKING. EACH MINUTE I DO THIS, THE CHAINS OF LIMITATION ARE BROKEN. I FOCUS AND

HEAR THESE WORDS FROM JESUS.”

“BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD.” Nothing can harm you if you do not let it. I limit

all darkness into my life. Jesus said, ” I AM THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD“. If I have all this

help internally around me, I am never alone.

“What limits in my life hold me back from good, healthy living?”

“Teach Me How?” Blog #105

Do I wake up today and think differently?

Did I put in place the tools I desperately need now?

Have I complete confidence in using my “Higher Self” approach?

So here’s a thought I just learned, ”things that bother me about other people are actually

inadequacies with myself”. It’s like looking in the mirror. It’s like seeing myself in others and

not being able to take it! If there is a part of me that has not taken on healing, I will SEE

this in other people around me. How to fix it?

Face it head on and say to self, “there but for the grace of God, go I. I do not judge that

person and I forgive them for whatever pain I have been caused. I let it all go now. It’s

fascinating to see and take in and try to understand what issues plague me daily? Do I

procrastinate? Am I putting off doing all the the necessary things that can help heal me

internally? This is a very big task. So many parts of my life ARE intertwined with other

people. Without realizing it when I judge their behavior, I am actually hurting myself. I

must realize that each one of us is on our own path. NO time for judgement because we

are here for two reasons only,

1. I am here to learn my own lessons and teach myself GOODNESS.

2. I I am here to help others IF they are open to it.

Every day I must do good things for my body, mind and my spirit. When I am stuck,

it’s because I am focusing on things that I myself cannot fix! This is where prayer,

and quiet, and the LIGHT OF THE LORD takes over. It’s essential I am KIND to myself.

When I worry and stress, I abuse myself internally and everything else around me

looks and feels and is different! I can’t do both things…… I can’t say that I will GIVE it

God and then worry. However, that is a big decision. This all revolves on how deep IS

my faith. What am I doing daily to improve it? I must read more inspiring books. IF

I don’t have them right now accessible, I can research anything that is inspirational,

uplifting and healing… ON-LINE. The mind is powerful and only me alone can protect

myself from the dangers of outside interference. So, I start with a powerful prayer:

“Today Lord, I thank you for giving me the helmet of higher self awareness. Thank you

Lord for insulating me in the spiritual steel armor of protection internally and externally

throughout my being, from this moment on.”

Now I AM fully protected inside and outside from all negative forces.

“When the student is ready, a teacher appears”. What in the world does this even mean?

Believe it or not, it is time for me to say to myself, “am I constantly in the the learning

process?” Just because I am out of school for years, does not mean I am not meant to

keep learning. I believe that all people around me are my teachers for different reasons.

Maybe I need to learn about gentleness and kindness and caring. I will therefore be put

into place with a person that is the opposite of this! They are cold, indifferent and not

approachable. Why is this? Most of all, the teacher within me, Jesus, shows me what I

NEED TO DO!

FOR IT IS NOT ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE, IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT ME. AM I GENTLE, AND KIND AND

CARING? IF SO, MAYBE THERE ARE OTHER ISSUES AT PLAY HERE. All the things that I am

missing are brought to the surface. Suddenly I desperately want what I cannot have.

However, forgiveness for others and self happens in a breath. We can bring it to the

surface, smile accept the “teaching moment”, learn from it, and MOVE ON. That is really

the extent of it, nothing more. Every single day is a lesson to learn from. Each of us is on

our own path and we need to learn from our pain and suffering and then grow from it.

Once we realize all things problematic are internal, I need to strive for my own inner

peace” Then nothing can disturb my sense of calm. Absolutely not one thought, or one

thing or one person.

IF we are constantly in the learning process, we accept readily all the difficulty with

another person who is trying to “push our buttons” as a RED ALERT. I know when I am

staying in a teachable moment by being curious, helpful and above all, humble. I am NOT

in a teachable moment if I am on the defense, self guarded, and ready to argue. This

always pushes people away. Above all, at this point, I may be given the lesson I am

suppose to be learning, yet I do not see it with anger around. When I am around another

human being that is close to me, do I ask myself internally, “What is my intention and

purpose for my relationship with this person?” IRONICALLY HERE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT

POINT I WANT TO MAKE,

I CAN ONLY LEARN MY LESSONS THAT I AM MEANT TO LEARN EACH DAY IF I AM OPEN,

READY AND RECEPTIVE TO THE LESSON THAT IS COMING TO ME.

I have always believed that I am constantly creating situations for myself that present

opportunities to learn the most powerful lessons. Most often the highest teachable

moment comes in my sadness, my pain and my desperation. This is where I am able to

search internally the hardest!

IF I REALLY WANT TO DISARM ANOTHER PERSON COMING AT ME IN THEIR ANGER, I CAN

IMMEDIATELY HUMBLE MYSELF. I CAN BE KIND. I STAY APPROACHABLE. THEY ARE SUDDENLY

CAUGHT OFF GUARD.

Remembering that I have a firm grasp on only speaking truth in any situation I encounter.

This is how I will always be in a “teachable mode”. I am open to learning MY OWN LESSONS,

NO MATTER HOW PAINFUL, NO MATTER HOW HARD, NO MATTER HOW OFTEN.

It’s really essential for me to believe that in order for me to “be open to teaching”. I must

take a big step back from all the thoughts going around in my head. Every day can be the

same old “song and dance” until we change the music. All of my habits daily are formed

by my routine. I must be open to positive change.

I am powerful in spiritual knowledge that my Lord stands at the helm of my ship and

only HE “sets my sail”.

So one of the greatest lessons I can now teach myself is in healing my inner self, I DO NOT

JUDGE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. Each of us is on our own learning path. Then the paradox

exists in my asking myself this….before I can be in a “teachable moment”, am I ready to

release all the fear of my past?

There is a powerful poem in the book;

A GIFT OF PEACE. Jeremy P. Tarcher

HEALING

Peace must come to those who choose to heal and not to judge. The decision to

heal and to be healed, is the first step to recognizing what you truly want.

Every attack is a step away from this, and every healing thought brings peace closer

Healing will flash across your open mind, as peace and truth arise,

to take the place of war and vain imaginings.

No one can ask another person to be healed. But he can let HIMSELF be healed.

And thus offer the other person what he has received.

Who can bestow on another person what he does not have?

And who can share what he denies himself?

Those whom you heal bear witness to your healing,

for in their wholeness you will see your own,

Our function is to let our minds be healed, that we may carry healing to the world,

exchanging curse for blessing, pain for joy, and separation for the peace of God.

All this above, I want to day teach myself and believe in my goodness and learn my

lessons one day at a time.

Can I be open to the teachings of HIM and my higher self awareness?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Help Heal Me!” Blog #104

Where can I find the RECIPE for creating a healthy me now?

What keeps me going back to negative thoughts I’m thinking?

How is it possible to see my life healed, without holding on to old ways?

To start to do things differently in my own life, I have to wind it way down. I have to narrow

the scope and look at just today. Why is that? For one reason only. I only have today.

Yesterday is completely gone. Tomorrow can be a plan, but it’s not here yet. All I have

right this moment is today. I think my greatest issues have been in “looking back”. Even in

looking back to yesterday. Is this day like that one? Do I want to continue on with the

same old, same old? Of course not! So going forward in themost positive way possible

brings me to this conclusion, I DESPERATELY NEED HELP.

There is no way I can take this day, divide it up into a powerful, positive plan, without great

assistance from something else. Where does that come from? I do understand I came

into the world alone and I willl leave this world alone. Yes, I most certainly have been given

“free will”. Yet, that does not mean I need to give in to it.

I must decide today on one Important premise: IS MY LIFE WORKING WELL FOR ME TODAY

all ALONE? How can I get instant, permanent, powerful help NOW?

Simplicity is always best. So I take a 24 hour day and I see how I structure it to work best in

my life. I know that I need a minimum of eight hours of sleep. If I rise by 7am and go to

sleep by 11 pm this gives me eight hours of sleep. So what’s in between now? That leaves

me with sixteen hours of time awake each and every day. How is it filled?

Powerful messages are brought to me in so many different ways. The people around me

and those I talk to, FACEBOOK/SNAPCHAT/TIK TOK and social media can and does

influence so much of my day. The messages on television, my phone and ALL the people I

interact with, have a great impact. What kind of information am I taking in?

IF I now, decide to create a plan “JUST FOR TODAY” I can follow this plan just for 16 hrs. I am

going to go slow and make it easy to follow. I wake up and first I PRAY IN BED. Before I

climb out of bed, I pray carefully for myself and others and end my prayer with,

“NOT MY WILL TODAY, BUT YOUR WILL BE DONE, LORD - THANK YOU.”

This is where my invisible, concrete, constant help comes into place.

I make sure that I eat some healthy food in the morning. (Raisin Bran, Oatmeal, Cheerios,

w/oat milk, almond milk, banana, toast and/or organic free range eggs - yogurt w/ fruit

and a large 16 oz. water).

Time now to make the plan for my day. IF its work outside of my home; (I dress well, I

listen to uplifting things on radio, don’t gossip, do my best). IF it’s school ( I dress

appropriately, interact kindly and DO NOT GOSSIP. For school is where I am tested so often

in my character. IF I AM a person that stays close to home, I make sure that I am learning

something NEW TODAY. I WATCH/GO to UPLIFTING shows. I READ INSPIRATIONAL BOOK. I GO

OUT AND WALK. I create blocks of things to do throughout my day. I plan my menus. and I

continue to seek out ways to uplift, inspire and nurture me. IT’S VERY IMPORTANT I refrain

from self-pity. IF this should creep into my thinking I immediately say this; “THANK YOU

LORD FOR BRINGING LOVE, LAUGHTER AND LIGHT INTO MY BRAIN.” I PAUSE, I CENTER MYSELF

AND create. In deeply, I breathe and count of ten. THEN I DRINK A LARGE BOTTLE OF WATER

AND GO ON, if still down…. I GO OUTSIDE FOR 30 MINUTES.

IT GETS EASIER AND EASIER TO RETRAIN MY BRAIN INTO THINKING HEALTHY, HAPPY,

HONEST THOUGHTS IF I ONLY FOCUS ON DOING THIS TODAY.

In one of my past blogs, I recommended reading the book: “The Blue Zone” (lessons for

living longer from people who have lived the longest). One particular page jumps out at

me now that I have been talking about “Help for healing”. The Adventists in Loma Linda,

California believe in eating healthy. They grow their own organic food and eat healthy

day in and day out. Yet, at the top of their so called rules for living is this, Adventists believe

that the body and soul are one. They believe that our Body is the Temple of God. They

also believe that religion has provided them with that extra nudge that seems critical

for turning intentions into habits!

And so it goes….I have found I cannot go it alone. I cannot live my life with just “me”

running the ship or me at the helm. I donot have the power, or the map, or the wisdom of

the Lord, who directs my sail in the right direction. I need got get out of my way!

Someone very wise once told me that with Jesus Christ in my heart, on my mind and

directing my life…..it’s like turning off the television at night and trusting in him to “help

program the next 24 hours”. I believe this is true and I will follow this plan today.

Interestingly enough, there was also this,

JUST FOR TODAY:

“I can be 100% present in wanting to do my best for me.

When I speak to someone else, I will respond kindly, not react judgmentally.

IF someone causes me to feel badly, I will NOT get angry.

IF I am down, depressed, or unhappy about anything, I can count to 10, breathe in.

I can put on a happy face when I LEAST FEEL LIKE DOING THIS, because I MUST.

And above all, I will look in the mirror morning and night and say this:

“Thank you Lord for this day. I feel healthy, I feel loved, I feel safe, You are with ME.”

Therefore at the end of the day I know I will only be judged by the

Content of my character and nothing else…..

“They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength;

they shall mount up with wings as eagles”, Isaiah 40:31

FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS CAN I BRING JESUS INTO MY LIFE WITH A NEW PLAN?”

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Nothing Left?” Blog #103

Sad, depressed, filled with anxiety - what calms me down?

Angry, confused, hard to get it right - where should I go?

Troubled, overcome with guilt, still riddled with remorse?

One of my all time favorite movies always revisited by me over the holidays. Now the

holidays have come and gone. Yet, January has a hint of unhappiness cleverly

connected to it. There is still just me, all of me with so many parts of me, I still need to

work on. Regret just does not magically disappear. I love to use movies as “good

examples” of where I can go and learn some powerful lessons. It’s so easy to keep

beating myself up over things that have happened in the past, the past. Gone, done and

never to reappear again.

This movie is one of my all time favorites.

“It’s a Wonderful Life” opens on Christmas Eve 1945 in Bedford Falls, New York. The movie

is about a troubled man whose prayers from his family and friends have now reached

Heaven. George Bailey is a middle aged, handsome man who personally has it all. He

has a beautiful devoted wife, healthy, lovely children and a beautiful home. However, the

impossible dream he has always chased has always eluded him. Then suddenly, the

worst possible plight, huge money problems surface on Christmas Eve. This is way too

much for George to handle anymore. He’s done trying to fix things, find money, or be

content with the life he has. Even though it is Christmas Eve, George decides to be done

with living. Yet, first he puts his hands together and prays for help. He has now run out of

his house on a snowy blizzard night, leaving his crying family behind him.

Now George Bailey is finally ready to end it all…..

Suddenly his thoughts of suicide and jumping off of an icy bridge coincide with Clarence,

who has just jumped head first into the icy cold water and George hears his cries for help.

George has forgotten his own decision to jump and end it all because now he has

jumped in and saved Clarence’ life! Although unbeknownst to George, Clarence Odbody,

is George’s Guardian Angel (and we all have one!).

After both men are dried off a bit and start talking, George passionately confides to

Clarence stating, “I wished I never was born”. For quite awhile George does not believe

Clarence is his Guardian Angel. Then, when Clarence tells him, “Well, George your wish is

now granted.” I will now show you what life would be like if George Baily never existed.

George reluctantly starts believing him. Clarence goes on to personally take George

back “in time”. He shows him exactly what his life would have been like “had he never

been born”. What life would be like had George “never touched other people’s lives”. Then

Clarence showed George what the world would be like “If George had never existed”

This movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life”, is considered to be one of the greatest movies of all

time. It is rated number #1 for the the most “inspirational movie created”. (Wikipedia)

Clarence takes George back to when he was twelve years old and shows George where

he rescued his younger brother, Harry, from drowning. This left George deaf in one ear.

George later saved a pharmacist from acidentally poisoning a customer because George

had seen the pharmacist put the wrong medicine in the bottle by mistake. Later on in life,

George gave his younger brother his own money so his little brother Harry could go on to

college. The angel, Clarence, shows George all the sacrifices George had made to do

good in his life, and never realized this. At the end of the movie, George is begging,

pleading, crying out for his “current life now”. He wants to go back because now he

appreciates all the things in his life that he has constantly taken for granted. He has a

sudden “awareness of all his blessings”.

Every single one of us on earth are here for a reason. God put us here for a reason!

My own thoughts of “the way I wished my life would go” and “the way my life went” cause

me now to smile. None of us realize the lessons we learned, until we have traveled far

down a painful path. Suddenly understanding after experiencing sadness, loneliness and

grief, how much we have grown internally.

Regardless of where we go or how we choose or where we wind up, it’s important for me

to understand that I always had the tools I was suppose to have at that time, and nothing

more. This way I do not beat myself up for “what might have been”.

Constantly I try to remember this important adage;

“When the student is ready, the teacher appears”.

Only in the knowing I must search, study and pray. I must ask for discernment and

direction and discipline. THEN a door opens to a brighter, more truthful life giving me an

understanding heart. There is no other way out for me. This is my Daily Direction

Routine, Always.

I have talked in the past about letting go. The past now gone. I bring HIS love into my

Heart. This protects me. Seldom do we realize how rough we are on ourselves.

We can be, and are, our own worst enemy. Our cell phone and people pressure coupled

with the persistent gnawing of “never good enough” stops now. I must learn to accept

and appreciate and acknowledge exactly where I am with a thankful heart. I have spent

my life looking back and that has become tiresome. It is time to find every possible way

to look to my future, be “Present” in this moment. There is something I can do each and

every day just for me. I can walk, I can read, I can pray. And above all, I listen as I pray.

As I’ve looked at those around me with past judgement, it is now time for me to say

“There, but for the Grace of God… go I”. I need to remember every moment just how

precious life is. My life is precious and I have purpose. I have a place in this world and I

am loved. I will be here on this planet as long as the Dear Lord wants me to live. I must

find a way each day to bring balance into my life. I believe I am goodness, I am healthy

and filled with love. So Above all, I believe and accept Jesus Christ my Lord.

I end today with a wonderful poem by Mother Theresa,

“Dedicated to You”

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered,

forgive them anyway.

IF you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives,

Be kind anyway.

IF you are successful you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

IF you are honest and frank, people may cheat you,

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway.

IF you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous,

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will forget tomorrow,

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough,

Still ~ give the world the Best you’ve got anyway.

You see - in the final analysis, it’s between you and God,

It never was between you and them anyway.

___________________

“Can I pray to look at my life & others, through your eyes only God?”

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

”Throwaway Life” Blog #102

What turns my head, makes me notice something different?

Where can I go to try fixing my life from failure?

How can I steer away from all that past pain?

Recently I just went to see a movie that left a very strong impression on me. The movie,

“The Boys in the Boat”, is a true story. The movie was about eight young men that

represented the U.S.A. in the 1936 Olympics. They barely beat Italy and won the Gold

Medal. Yet the main character, Joe, was the amazing one. As the movie opened, you

could see he was a teen living alone in an abandoned old car. Joe had earned his way to

go to school at The Univ of Washington, in the midst of the depression. IF only he could

make the team, there was a bed and school was paid for him. His mother had died and

his father had abandoned him. To make things worse, one day in town he saw his father

and found out he had been back for two years, wanting nothing to do with him.

Why do I bring this movie to mind now? Because of Joe’s spirit. It was everything. Joe

was seen as a disposable human being. This was also the time when Hitler was coming

to power and deciding that the Jews were disposable human beings as well. Hitler was

evil and did dispose of millions of Jews. Joe was goodness. He saw of all the set backs, all

the problems, all the pain.

Joe had himself and his healthy body and his strong spirit to succeed. In spite of Joe’s

own setbacks and sadness, he set this aside to put his mind on the ”greater good”. Even

when it was time to send the top crew to the Olympics, Joe was part of the B team and

the coach decided it was “this team”, the lesser team, the younger team, but the team

with the most spirit that was going to the Olympics. This is almost cost the coach his job.

In spite of all Joes hardships and setback and sadness, he set this all aside to be part of

the eight rowers. These eight rowers realized the importance of synchronization and

above all they become '“one”. All their differences, all their judgements, all their fears

phase into trust for each other that brought them the the finish - the Gold Medal.

As I look back on my own life and see a father, a brother and a daughter who decided to

give in the darkness. The drugs and the drinking and the depression. One drip at a time,

one day turning into months and dissolving into years. Precious, beautiful lives that were

thrown away. My father and my brother and my daughter, all gone for the choice of the

the dreaded “Big D”.

Drugs, Drinking and Depression. Each one of these people had a name, Benjamin, Bruce

and Bridget. Each one of these people were beautiful, talented, bright human beings.

Each one of these souls decided that their individual life was not worth the energy, the

goodness and the need to continue on ! So, they threw away the cherished gift that God

had given them and they are no more. Only a sad memory.

I write about this today, not to dwell in darkness at the beginning of this new year, but to

steer my mind onto the greater good. Joe (in the movie) broke that dark chord,

regardless of what he had come from in his past, regardless of all his hurt and pain, he

decided to choose differently. He found a wonderful girl that believed in his higher good,

believed he had worth, believed in him. The movie ended on a brilliant note…..therefore I

hope you go see it.

Yet, my takeaway was so much more, I realized that there is not a single day when I can

ever let my guard down. I related to this movie mostly to Joe. I immediately felt his

“feeling alone” and taking my anger and wanting to still push on! Joe refused to look at

the big holes in his shoes, instead finding newspaper, folding it in halves and stuffing this

in his shoes. He refused to think about his pain even when standing in long lines at the

food pantry. Once you saw the character of Joe, you sensed his inner drive and his spirit

was on fire. There was nothing that was going to stop him, except only once, it almost did.

He confronted his past and saw his father. The pain of family hurt never goes away, yet it

can be harnessed, and filed away for another day, far far in the future. Joe responded to

what was given to him by showing others what he was made of. I look at all the lost years

my father and my brother and my daughter threw away. Combined these years are over

one hundred and fifty. These three lives could have and should have and would have

been productive, contributing cherished lives. My brother could have had a wife and

children and beautiful memories. Instead he died two years ago at a state institution

isolated, alone and forgotten. My daughter did have a family and two beautiful little boys.

Her choice became drugs and alcohol and all else was thrown away. My father? He set

the scene with a wife and three children of his own. Yet, amidst all God have given him,

his dark, daily drinking ended his life riddled with the diseases that come with the drugs he

chose. I might have never gone forward had I ever knew in advance all of the dark, sad

fear I would have to encounter.

However, I am one of the lucky ones. I am like Joe in the movie, I knew early on in so many

ways, there was more to life than what I was exposed to in my family. I knew that it had to

be up to me. It was all my choice. However, for a long time I want to be honest and say, I

went back and forth. Lots of times, I insisted I do my life my way and pushed HIM away.

When I finally came to the conclusion I cannot do it alone, things got immensely better.

Now I see clearly. There is no other way.

Jesus is with me night and day and nothing can shake my embracing this truth.

Can you believe in HIM and throw away today?

“Trouble w/Who?” Blog #101

Spontaneous thoughts come and go…..from where?

How do I navigate my life each and every day?

Is there true goodness behind what I say and think and do?

God knows I try right? But sometimes it doesn’t seem to matter - all the chips fall in the

wrong direction and its just so damn hard to get back up, start over… cope….

I must try to remember this:

Every second of every minute of every day…..I can change what I am thinking.

Even though this is a brand new year, let’s face it, we still have the “stuff” we are dealing

with today. I still have all my worries and all my fears and all my hopes for a better

tomorrow! Even IF it doesn’t turn out the exact way I want it too. Herein lies the rub, I pray,

right? WHY don’t my prayers get answered right now?

Because it has to turn out, right? It just has to turn out right, right now! It’s just so hard to

try and search really deep. To keep looking inside, hearing nothing, and then try to find

those tools anyway that will take me out of all this darkness! Can I keep on looking?

Inside somewhere, I know these tools will allow me to finally let go of all that “control stuff”.

All the ways a “False voice of darkness tells me to turn away”. Telling me “I don’t need

anything else because only I should handle this”!! The “Me and the I” keep getting in my

way all the time. How in the world can I find a safe way to navigate out of this?

Desperately needing an easier way, a better strategy, a fresh start!

I have to admit: IT”S PRETTY DAMN HARD TO JUST SHOW UP FOR MYSELF.

SHOW UP AND ADMIT WITH HUMILITY, THE RAW, UNABASHED, REALITY OF WHO IS ME?

Why have I been so arrogant to think that I am the one with all the “bright ideas’ when I

am the one that got me into this “mental fix” to begin with. It’s so hard to just sit still and

try to slow my brain down, so much easier to just turn on some noise.

Well, I must admit, my random racing thoughts have showed myself just how futile the old

tapes have become. Not just futile, but frustrating and fearful even to a point where I lay

in bed, wide awake, playing this scenario and that scenario over and over again, with no

end in sight. I keep beating myself up with dark thoughts, scary dreams and night terrors.

Now understanding that truthfully, honestly and seriously; THERE IS NOTHING THERE. FEAR IS

NOT REAL. LISTEN CAREFULLY, FEAR is this, “FALSE EVENTS APPEARING REAL.” So it is my

responsibility to REPLACE ALL THOSE OLD TAPES. GET RID OF THEM. GARBAGE.

I PROMISE MYSELF THIS NEW YEAR I WILL LEARN MORE ABOUT the Bible. LEARN AND remember

AND live these wise Biblical readings:

John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in ME you may have peace. In this world YOU will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world”.

And this wonderful one,

Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of POWER and of LOVE and of a SOUND MIND.”

And finally this most inspiring one,

Phillippians 4: 6 -7 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be known to God, and the peace of God which passeth all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

These are powerful truths from HE and HE alone. There is nothing to fear when we take

this information in and process it and believe and live it. Then and only then does it work

in my life one day at a time. I leave you tonight with this wonderful favorite of mine,

written years ago,

“When I stand before God at the end of my life,

I would hope that I would have not a single bit of talent left

and I could say:

“I used everything you gave me.”

erma bombeck “GIVE - LOVE- LAUGH””

“Sleep peaceful?“

Today I ask myself can I trust in HIM and go to sleep peaceful?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Me and 2023” Blog #100

Millions of words written about how to “Fix my life”…. is there anything new?

Probably the most astounding words ever told to me is this:

‘LET IT GO, LET IT ALL GO AND KNOW THAT WITH FORGIVENESS, I AM BETTER NOW”.

If I can count to ten now and tell myself - “the old me is gone - here’s why?

I am going to erase the old movies of all my anger, resentment and fear and start a file in

my mind called the “Old sick file”. I can send everything there for another rainy day - but

I don’t go thru the file - I just keep adding to it…. watch what happens. No more getting

frustrated with others, because we are all on our own separate path learning and

struggling and moving along as we are suppose to. With no judgement of others - I can

focus on myself. However, here in lies the rub, IF there is a family member who needs

forgiving and i have not done this, it will NOT GO AWAY. Every single situation is in my life

as a “LIFE LEARNING LESSON’. Mine (and your) best WARNING LIGHTS ARE THESE - Anger -

frustration - resentment - judgement - fear - blame!!

“I now take full responsibility for what I have to do and then “LET GO of the REST”. IF I can

believe this now, I am changed in a positive way instantly! Now I will be consistent in my

positive behavior daily. (I always ask for HIS HELP.)

When I am carrying around all my “stuff”, all the dark memories, all the anger and all the

resentment, (things I feel happened unfairly), I am a broken person. Even a person who is

constantly rationalizing things, will admit to this:

There is nothing I can do about my past. I cannot bring it back. I cannot fix it. I can only

do one positive thing about it, LEARN FROM WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME.

The hardest thing to do is to find humility. My toughest thing to do, is to admit it. The

easiest part to all of this is to see the positive, the healing and the love! Every one of us

alive, want to be loved. We seek out love. We crave love. Yet, HOW do we go about

finding love, permanent, unconditional, true love? The greatest Love there is ….Lies right

here in the heart and soul and being of ME.

Jesus Christ knows my pain and absorbs it today. HE is listening and HE understands.

Yet, me….with my own “FREE WILL” I must INVITE HIM IN. It is now the end of this year.

I now promise a powerful vow: I LET GO. I let it all go. it’s filed safely away now. ALL THE

PAIN I HAVE INSIDE. ALL THE THINGS I CANNOT FIX. ALL MY SORROW. FILED AWAY.

Looking back, over just this past year, there has been tremendous challenge. Each of us

can admit to feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, ready to throw in the towel. There is no

place in this world where any little book has told us, ‘life will be easy’. Yet, it is in the details,

the tiny parts that suddenly give us courage to change,, the littlest, amazing light internally

goes on, and shows us the way. Who am I speaking to out there? You and me, and each

one of us. We all know who we are, we know what we have to do to change our behavior

in a positive manner. There is an itinerary of sorts that each of us have agreed to at an

unconscience level, before we even got here. We agreed to learn, we agreed to help

others and internally we should all want to grow, and learn and evolve. How to do this?

Remember the old saying, “the devils in the details?” We need to start today with one

thing we have been putting off. Maybe its a person closest and nearest and dear to our

heart. What can I do to “break the ice?” Tonight I can ask quietly. This is between myself

and God. Then I will know what I must do. There is not a single other person who can take

my mission from me - I cannot listen to anyone but HIM, who shows me the way. I CAN DO

THIS.

Finally - here is a short list of my NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS - this is mine, what’s yours?

I am posting this on my refrigerator so I can find the new highway to my better self.

1. I can read either the Old or New Testament - starting tomorrow

2. I now take each morning and pray - ending each night with prayerful meditation

3. I earnestly can find one person who I can inspire, daily or weekly (It starts with me)

4. Daily, I eat at least ONE complete healthy meal. Drinking 1/2 my body weight in water

5. I now find time to spend 30 minutes each day walking/exercizing

6. Driving, I Listen to uplifting, light filled, Christian Music

7. I can find a good healing book to read on a weekly basis

8. I will attend church/any church weekly even if it is “Online”

9. I dress nicely every day - especially if I stay at home

10. I search up something positive to look forward to every week/month

    It’s amazing how powerful I feel when starting & ending my day with:

    Protection Prayer: (Memorized)

    “The light of God surrounds me

    The love of God enfolds me

    The power of God protects me

    The presence of God watches over me

    wherever I am, God is and all is well. Amen”

    All of these ideas are amazingly helpful - for any person who decides to try…..

    Do I make time now to sit down and create my Best Self for 2024?

God bless you in 2024!

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Christmas: Why?” Blog #99

Is Christmas my excuse to just buy gifts for people around me?

Have I said before “get me this or get me that” for Christmas?

Do I cave in to commercialized displays because it’s Christmas?

One Solitary Life:

by: Dr. James Allan

1926

'“He was born in an obscure village. (Christmas Day) the child of a peasant woman. He

grew up in another village where he worked in a carpenter shop until he was thirty. Then

for three years he preached the word of God. He never wrote a book. He never held

office. He never had a family or owned a home. He never went to college. He never

visited a big city. He never traveled more than two hundred miles from the place where

he was born. He did none of the things usually associated with greatness. He had no

credentials but himself. Then when he was only thirty three years old, the tide of public

opinion turned against him. His friends left him, and one of them denied even knowing

him. He was turned over to his enemies and went through the mockery of a trial. He was

nailed to a cross between two thieves. While dying, his executioners gambled for his

clothing, the only property he had on earth. (Before he died he said, “Father forgive them,

for they know not what they do”.) When he was dead, he was laid in a borrowed tomb,

through the kindness of a friend. Now twenty two centuries have come and gone. Yet

today HE is the central figure of the human race and the leader of mankind’s progress. All

the armies that have ever marched, all the navies that have ever sailed, all the

Parliaments that have ever sat, all the Kings that ever reigned, all put together, have not

affected the life of mankind on earth, as much as this ONE SOLITARY MAN, Jesus Christ.

It’s crazy times out there today. Walk in any store, shop at any mall and wait in any line.

People are frenzied, preoccupied and tied down with troubles. So I try to visualize how

Christmas comes into play in my life right now. The chaos and the constant noise. The

shoppers and the “stuff for sale”. Everywhere I look there is pretense. Even at the donation

centers or charities. “Take your phone and scan the barcode for a person to donate to.”

Seriously, this sort of brings it all up a notch, especially when it says; “sorry, that group ls

filled”. How many of us now thinking, “I just want to get through the holidays and then it

will all be over.” How many times have I thought this and felt unnecessary pressure for

nought. The Jesus that I learned about as a child and read about as an adult, kind, loving,

good. Nothing to be afraid of! On the contrary, when he lived he healed anyone, that

came to see him as a “healer”. A young, God that came to earth only for us. All these

years of speculation and fear and pushing him away for no justifiable reason except

ignorance. Now we live in a world fraught with war. Crime and hatred are rampant.

Fights, and drugs and drinking. What kind of misplaced celebrating because it’s

Christmas? Probably the best news of all and it isn’t cheesy or corny.

Jesus is truly a best friend waiting, just waiting and ready to be there for you and me.

It’s Christmas. Almost everything and anything taking precedent over the real reason for

celebrating Christmas Day. Still, it can all change in a breath if we but so decide. It’s up to

each one of us.

Now is a good time to find a way to let my big wall down. I can take a moment and see a

family member through Jesus’ eyes. As busy as my day gets, I take time out for a quiet

prayer. I can try hard to believe today because this is truth and miracles are all around

me if I but open my eyes. Angels are disguised in people walking here now.

I, for one, am going to church this Christmas. I, for one, am going to seek out HIS peace.

I, for one, am going to respect what Jesus Christ did for me his whole life. From a little

baby to a child to a grown man. HE lived my pain, HE knows my pain, HE takes it away.

Wikipedia defines Christmas; “the annual festival celebrating Christ’s birth held on

December 25th. The exchanging of gifts is one of the core aspects of modern

Christmas and celebration, making it the most profitable time of year for retailers and

businesses throughout the world.”

A true irony is HE gives us authentic love in a simple, quiet, all encompassing way. I seem

to look for love in the material, busy, crazy living of each day. I do not need to be so afraid

to learn about him, seek him, and find him internally. It’s actually a great relief. It actually

feels like a giant weight has been taken from me. The weight of all my worry and stress

and fear. I want to believe this now. How to do it differently? This Christmas I am

determined to reflect, respect and rely on HIS BIRTH first. There is nothing to be afraid of

when all I am inviting in is pure, divine love.

Am I willing to celebrate the birthday of Jesus Christ in a way I feel HIS love?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“The Big Lie“ Blog #98

Why should I be reading this, when there’s nothing out there?

How can I even help when all I see is trouble around me?

What shows me my life matters, when I think no one cares?

One of the most valuable lessons I have learned in life is that most important motto: “BE

THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE”. Believe it or not, each one of us causes change in the

world one day at a time. When we actively do good, this causes a ripple affect. One

might say, “Just me?” So start off, at school - If there is a lie perpetrated about one

student and it gets passed along over and over. What happens? It’s like the snowball that

starts out small and becomes an avalanche. A life can be destroyed by mean, decisive,

angry words! What is the purpose in this? No one person has the right to judge and

malign another human being. Today, In the spirit of Christmas, I might add, “Doing good

is the essence of Christmas”.

Again going back to school, a young girl wrote into a newspaper saying she didn’t believe

in Santa Claus because her friends told her so. Listen to what the editor of this trusted

New York newspaper wrote back:

“Virginia your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a

skeptical age. They don’t believe except what they see. They think nothing can be that is

not comprehended by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or

childrens’ are little. In this great universe of ours man is but an insect, an ant in his intellect

as compared with the boundless world around him, as measured by the intelligence

capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge. Yes, Virginia there is a Santa

Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist. You know that

they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! How dreary would be

the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginia’s.

There would be no child-life faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable our

existence. We would have no enjoyment except in sense and sight. The eternal light with

which childhood fills the world would be extinguished. Not believe in Santa Claus? You

might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all

the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you do not see Santa

Claus coming down the chimney, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but

that is no sign there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that

neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of

course not, but that’s no proof they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the

wonders that are unseen or unseeable in the world. You can tear apart a babies rattle

and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which

not the strongest man nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever

lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love and romance can push aside that curtain

and view the supernatural beauty and glory that is beyond. Is it real? Ah, Virginia, In all

the world there is nothing else more real and abiding. No Santa Claus? Thank God He

lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now Virginia, nay, 10 times 10,000 years from

now he will continue to make glad the hearts of childhood.”

Francis B. Church

Editor of the New York Sun

1897

I chose to include this letter that was written over one hundred and twenty five years ago.

Mostly because today its important to DO something positive, different and fulfilling. Stop

worrying about myself and BE all I can for myself! Life is not just about selfish desires and

having money and buying things. Life is to be lived in a full, loving, kind way. Remember

“evil” spelled backwards ? L I V E Jesus Lives.

To answer the first question at the beginning of this Blog, why should I be reading this

when there is nothing out there? Because every person in life needs to realize we are a

speck of dust in this giant universe. Just look up at the billions of stars in the sky! Nothing

out there? HE is out there and Jesus waits for you.

How can I even help when there is trouble ALL around me? As Mother Theresa said years

ago when she was interviewed by a reporter, ”you can help, one person at a time”. Finally,

“what shows me my life matters when I think, no one cares?” Maybe it’s time to stop

worrying about self and go out and do something for someone when they don’t even

know you are coming.

Can I let go of the lies around me and embrace HIS truth?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Be Still & Search” Blog #97

Everywhere I look, it’s in everything I do, all my thoughts I think - constant chaos?

No calm place to run to, no quiet moment inside/outside myself?

Why do I feel so content with all this noise around me?

A long time ago, actually in one lifetime, the television came into place. Now there is

social media technology consuming us. Any information I am looking for, I find in an

instant. So are times better? Facetime, messaging, calendar, sports apps, all abound.

Yet, am I going outside doing healthy things for for my mind and body? We live in an

extremely secular society. Confusion and chaos is everywhere. Churches are getting

emptier and emptier and people stay angry.

Is there a place i can go to find immediate peace, truth and love?

How many of us go to sleep every night with the sound of a television blaring in the

background? Or music streaming in through headphones? Now with information

immiedate on my phone, life is getting faster and faster to keep up with. Ironically, few

people are on their computers or their phones seeking a new understanding of how to

find calm ways to approach daily life. I might interject here, there is one app that is

amazing, “HALO“. I find it very calming and peaceful.

Young and old, people are addicted to phone apps. TikTok, Snap and Instagram. In many

ways, destroying their outlook on life. People who are parents are no less removed, finding

hours and hours of time away from their family in lieu of social media calling. Families are

living together in their homes, separately. Morals and ethics are out the window because

“this is just the way it is” - IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE.

A CHANGE OF HEART TAKES QUIET TIME OF INTROSPECTION, self-forgiveness and DECISION.

SOMEONE IS out there to turn things around and give each and every one of us a new

moral fiber to work with. This can happen in a breath. So I say quietly, “My heart beats, I

feel my breath, I am loved”. It’s right here inside each and every one of us. A heart change

is taking place.

No need to wait any longer. I sit still, close my eyes, take a deep breath accept calm. I

decide with baby steps to start searching INSIDE ME NOW. I SEE MYSELF AS a better person,

a better family member, a better friend, as I find my HIGHER SELF. When I am alone with

my thoughts before I fall asleep, I am at peace now. Someone once told me when I was

very young, “You know how to feel better about yourself? Go do something for

someone else when they least expect it.” Make them a card, tell them a funny story, help

them heal.

STOP THINKING ABOUT MY OWN SETBACKS AND SADNESS AND I REACH OUT TO ANOTHER.

Perhaps someone might say to me, well that doesn’t get me money does it? That doesn’t

fix my problems does it? That doesn’t bring me what I need right now! Yet, actually it

does. Reaching out, across the spiritual void to another human being brings instant

balance to me. This act of kindness heals dark energy. This is out there for everyone to

try….. find the movie: “IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE”. WATCH IT NOW.

Life takes on such a different flavor when I decide to see life with LOVE in my heart and for

someone else that really needs it! We all need LOVE. First and foremost, I must find the

love of Jesus Christ waiting in my heart for me. This is my own self love and this love gives

me a CHANGE OF HEART FOR FORGIVENESS FOR MYSELF. I feel needed. The best way to find

fulfillment is in Jesus Christ. HE is complete love. Then reach out to another human being

IN NEED. It’s an amazing feeling to just give this love away.

Millions and millions of people all over the world have had near-death experiences.

Although these people live in different countries throughout the world, they have shared

similar experiences that are profound! They all talked about how for the short time their

heart stopped, they were hovering above their body and could see everything but in such

peace. Then just before they were brought back from a “clinical death” they talked about

“realms of wonder”, experiencing the captivating love of God and a powerful presence of

such love. They did not want to leave! In one particular book, “Imagine the God of

Heaven” by John Burke, miracles abound.

Dr. Richard Eby who was a medical doctor and a surgeon, fell head first from a two story

building and cracked his skull open. Miaraculously he was revived after ten hours. During

his near death experience he said, “Jesus and I walked in heaven together, but it was

more like flying than walking”! We were talking while suspended in midair, communication

is so far superior than anything we can imagine down here. Space is also “limitless”.

These people live across the world from one another and have similar experiences with

the afterlife. In another excerpt this,

“……an airline pilot had a near death encounter. He was walking with his angels. He said

they were walking on this path and he saw birds and deer; trees of incredible size and

beauty all of it having this light of God coming out of it, and the angel took his arm saying

“James look, and across the grass trotted three of the most beautiful horses I’ve ever

seen, and the grass was lighting up under their feet as they trotted towards him”.

Story after story, so alike in nature, describing a world of such loving peace. There IS only

one way to find this calm feeling, here on earth, and that is in the quietness of self. Asking

and waiting and accepting HIM into my heart today. I can find time each day to be still

and search internally for the love of Jesus Christ, who waits for me now. Breathing deeply

in and out, I see how easily HE comes to me. IF I but ask for the light of Christ to surround

me now, heal me and engulf me. It is done. I AM now aware of who I am. I do not forget

this power inside of me.

Can I be still now and search for the light of Christ within me?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Forgive, Why?” Blog #96

So they hurt me, others have it coming if I don’t talk to them, right?

People turn on me, so do I just choose drama to get through it?

How do I discern to be the one to set things straight?

Forgiveness is actually LOVE at its very highest form. There is an invisible agreement when

we are little children and have parents who take care of us. What ever we do, what ever

we say, however we act, we are usually talked to and forgiven. After all, we are tiny little

people looking for answers in those who care for us, right? Parents should not hold

grudges for actions of their children, IF THERE IS A WAY FORWARD TO TEACH THEM. As

parents we are to teach..show and help earn to live life honestly. Sadly, not always true, I

can vouch for that. My parents were consumed with their own addictions and dark drama

and dysfunction. Yet, there are lessons abounding in that scenario as well. What is the

biggest one? FORGIVENESS!

I do believe I was put in my own family to learn powerful lessons on how to forgive. My

childhood was riddled with pain and anger and cruelty. I remember my brother trying so

hard in school, coming home with a B on a Science Test. My father was home in a drunken

rage and my brother walked in proudly to show his test to our father. My father grabbed

the test, scrambled it up and said; “get outta my sight, you no good kid, you can’t even get

an A on this test, you are worthless to me…!.” This is my brother who went down into our

cellar, burned the test and that ninth grade day told me; “I hate him, I will never forgive him

for what he does to us…, I’m done!” Watching, I looked on sadly with out saying a word as

my brother took a lighter and burned his science test to ashes. He started taking drugs,

more and more drugs and later died in an institution for killing someone. All because of

hatred, anger and unforgiveness. My father did not have a clue because he was so

wrapped up in his own addicted, sick world of dysfunction and drinking.

At this writing today, there is anger infesting the world everywhere. There is anger at home,

in our schools, in the work place and throughout the world.

So, what exactly is my role in all of this?

My role is to learn my lessons one at a time and have a forgiving heart. What if we were

handed a little “Life Guide Book” so to speak, when we are young. This guide book

emphasizes the importance of “learning from relationships”. Every single person will be in

different situations to learn valuable lessons from. If there is gossip, hatred, anger, this is

powerful stuff.

WHY are we given people situations to “learn lessons” from? Because this is how we grow

spiritually. A negative, nasty, gossipy person wins in their world. They follow no rules and

don’t care about consequences. More often then not, this person talks darkly about

another person, to cover up for their own darkness! So I think hard on this, why would I

want this person as my friend?

I believe we are alive for two reasons, to learn our lessons as we go through each day and

to help other people where and when and how ever we can. Of course, not all people who

come into our life, should stay in our life. We are all on separate journeys of growth. Some

people want to grow in every way they can. Others just stay stuck and pull those around

them down under too!

An important lesson to learn is I TRY NOT TO LISTEN TO GOSSIP ABOUT ANYBODY.

Gossip is dangerous. We are not meant to rip apart the character of others. We are, each

one of us, on our own journey. IF there is a situation with a friend and start terrible news

spreading - it is important to learn to “Discern” Pray on this and do not listen to others !

Most of the time the person spreading the gossip has huge forgiveness issues about

themself!

I will try to keep it simple and say, we are children of God and our bodies are the Temple of

God. So each of us must learn to FORGIVE ourself first for anything we have done that

holds a dark cloud over our head and inside our heart. Then look at the person spreading

gossip. Who really knows what is made up and what is truth vs. the lie? Someone once

said to me, “Oh yea? You have no idea what they did or what they said,…. why should I

forgive?” I say this, here is a discerning moment. First of all, IS this person meant to

continue on in my life?” IF so, I need to have peace NOT problems! Problems grow and

fester and build walls. IF I am to have clarity In my thinking and what I am to do. FlRST, I go

directly to the person that is being talked about and clear the air

I of course, prayed to have discernment. Discerning what is the right thing to do? How to

go about life with or without this person - Prayer will give me all my answers. Above all I

remember NOT to judge others. “there but for the grace of God, goI”

IF my anger lies with my teenage child, I owe it to the both of us to come together and talk

things over, give them my truth above all - for very soon they too, will go out into the world.

There are so many lost, angry sad teenagers struggling in this world. IF my anger lies with

any family member, I ask to be open to discussion, IF they remain close minded to truth, II

pray for them and move on. I can say this, because even in the family that raised me, I

look back and realize how final death is.

My father died without any forgiveness conversations between us. It was and has been

years of struggling with truth and forgiveness and seeing how easy it could have been,

had my father been open.

IF my anger lies with a friend, I go directly to the friend. NO need to listen to others ONLY my

friend WHO I am at odds with, we need to meet, have a discussion and I must decide to let

go, move on or continue a friendship. Gossip builds walls and destroys lives and no one

wins! WHO is the person that is gossiping and why is this happening? Where does

forgiving work into this situation? Lies grow and grow and grow. I must Find out the real

truth! I go forward and weed out my true friends.

However, there will always be people WHO refuse to forgive, refuse to let go and dig deeper

and deeper into the daily drama of dysfunction!! I LET THESE PEOPLE GO. THESE ARE NOT

THE PEOPLE WHO I CHOOSE TO HAVE IN MY LIFE TO BUILD ME UP. MY Life is filled with love and

goodness and truth.

IT IS IMPORTANT TO SEEK HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS.

I put my mind on good things, by telling the truth, this makes me feel good! I learn great

self control with weapons of inner forgiving, truth and self love Internally I have a sincere

desire to be slow to anger, not blame others. Here is where a sense of calm takes over and

I can let go of adversity! It’s getting easier to forgive myself. Above all, I use prayer

purposefully trusting that Jesus is right here by my side always. It hurts not to forgive.

Life is a giant classroom filled with realistic rules and daily options to jump leap years

ahead when I “let go” of my pride, let HIM in and agree to Learn from what happened. We

have already been forgiven by HIM when Jesus hung on the cross, tortured, and beaten

bloody. STILL he said, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do”.

I sat down and wrote a poem dedicated to overcoming anger with forgiveness.

“ANGER” by Barbie

Anger swells in the heart of thee, buried inside a big Black Sea.

Dismal dark voices, rich with lying menice

give few choices, where anger is endless.

On goes Anger in a deadly spin, Mr. Anger assures a wicked win.

Takes over with rage,

Brings in bruising blame, demands center stage!

Never ready to depart,

destroying all goodness in a loving, peaceful heart.

Hiding out is quiet, Forgiving self,

sitting high on a dusty shelf,

At once is felt a timeless prayer shout out!

Suddenly sweeps in, HIS Angelic Diadem, crushing Angers’ deadly sin.

Upon a cold, forlorn face, a powerful force gives chase.

Self Love and forgiveness is back!

Destroying all anger in its track.

Gone in a puff of smoke, so all can be set free,

Angels bravely sing to thee, HIS love has brought back my Humility!

__________________

I can do this, it’s not hard…in fact its a huge release, I have HIM to help me forgive.

Will I forgive myself today and someone in my family?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Barely Breathing” Blog #95

How can my day work when its filled with so much turmoil?

Why do things in my life get harder and harder to handle now?

When will I decide its time for me to bring in the “real help?”

“Oh normal day, let me be aware of what a treasure you are”. This was the caption on

my daily Calendar the morning the bottom fell out from under me. I was never prepared

for tragedy, no one is. Why does it often take something exremely painful in our life to

make us call out for HIS help? It shouldn’t have to be that drastic. Painful problems, life

threatening illness, as well as extreme sadness from the the loss of a relationship, bring us

to our knees - so to speak. However, now more than any time else in history we live in

such a secular society that faith has not only taken a back burner, it has fallen off the

shelf!

I started watching a newer series awhile ago - “The Chosen”. absolutely fascinating. The

series is one of the first of its kind in showing what the life of the man Jesus was like in

choosing and traveling with his disciples.. Not to mention the fact that all of these men

were relatively young. They had lives that were either single fishermen, newly married, a

tax collector, a soldier. Yet all had something in common, they were chosen to be

Disciples for our Lord. For more then three years the series goes through events that show

how and why these men were chosen. Why it was so important for Jesus, in wanting them

to see their faith. He told them story after story and did never-before-seen miracles, right

in front of them. Fascinating for me, to start to understand the “back story” of this

amazing man. Through the years of my own life, I never even gave it.a second thought

about the “man” Jesus. Absolutely had no clue as to his disciples. More than anything,

now it is possible to relate to hard, painful choices they each had to make. I never knew,

all the disciples wound up being martyred with the exception of John!

In knowing this over the years, this knowledge has helped me evolve so much better as a

Christian. Especially if I had been taught and learned more about the man Jesus, I could

have understood my own faith better. More importantly, appreciating how Jesus in the

end had to choose to remain man and not call on his divinity to save himself! Nobody

really talks about his life with these remarkable disciples. Seeing how necessary it is to

learn about believing and having permanent faith.

There is one particular scene in which Jesus tells the disciples he is going away for a bit

and he wants them to go in six different directions themselves. They are to go into the

country in pairs, to spread HIS word. More importantly he tells them “all the miracles you

have seen me do - you too can do. You will heal the sick, make the blind see, bring the

crippled back to health. Giving them anointing oil and telling them to go out and “take

nothing with them”. They doubted at first, but began seeing what happened when they

laid their hands on a sick person. James argued the most because he said to Jesus; “How

can I heal others when they see that I, as a crippled man, have not been healed? Jesus

told him, “Your time has not yet come”.

So often we give in and we give up before we are even aware of the healing that is

taking place inside of us!

Another disciple; Simon was married and he and his wife wanted to start a family. While

Simon was gone with the other disciples, his wife lost a baby. He was off in the desert, and

when he returned home, he became very angry at Jesus. He turned on Jesus as his anger

took over him. Then all the disciples (in a later scene) were in a boat on the water in a

terrible storm. Off in the distance they thought they saw a ghost walking on the water, it

was Jesus. Simon got out of the boat and began walking on the water toward Jesus, that

is, until he looked down, until he looked away, until he took his eyes off Jesus. Simon sunk

deep in the water. Jesus grabbed him, and Simon was barely breathing. “Oh ye of little

faith”, said Jesus. What does it take for us? How often are we barely breathing and cry

out for help?

Alone and afraid, feeling abandoned……I too, have felt hopelessly lost. These feelings are

real. I have never understood how people can look back at history and believe and

accept that Julius Caesar lived and the Romans lived and relics of the coliseums have

been found. Yet not believe that Jesus ever lived? There has been found and exists the

recovery of the Shroud of Turin which is the bloodstained burial cloth recovered from

Jesus’ tomb. His image is embedded deep upon this garment. Jesus said it all when he

spoke, “to believe and have faith without miracles, of seeing me, this is true faith”.

Leonardo Devinci painted the Sistine Chapel and also a magnificent portrait of the Head

of Christ from which he envisioned himself. There are stories and miracles and people

everywhere coming Into their faiths, their lives changed in an instant. Jesus is my life, my

hope and my every breath. I never want to be stranded alone, barely breathing again.

Can I take that deep breath and bring HIM into my heart today?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Why Blame?” Blog #94

What makes me any better than you?

What do I value most in my life about me?

Above all, am I ready to do hard things now?

Blame: the definition means being solely responsible for something bad that has

happened to me. “He/She really had only him/herself to blame”. How often have we

done something over the years and as we look back, and it can only be attributed to a

decision me/myself and I made? Yet, why blame myself as I go on in life for all the

negative things that have happened?

People everywhere will say, that is just the way it is. We are creatures of habit. However,

this is not a good habit! Thoughts that are blameful and self-degrading and dark will

destroy who we are one day at a time. The important statement, “The student is ready

when the teacher appears” means all the lessons we have gone through in our life up

until now - were VERY CRITICAL TO OUR OWN SELF GROWTH! Every day we live and decide

to learn from what has happened to us is purposeful.

Now there is definitely a caveat to these words, WE CANNOT BLAME OTHERS FOR OUR OWN

DECISIONS. WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE GOOD AND BAD DECISIONS WE MAKE. The

wisdom comes in knowing discernment. We must know when to choose good over bad.

We must know when to walk away. We must know when to close that door to yesterday

and now move forward!

NOT ONE SINGLE THREAD ON OUR head of hairs is not numbered by our Creator. He knows

us inside and out. Because we are given Free Will we can choose daily of and with our

own volition. What do we want to do? I must not blame myself for any part of my past

because it is gone, finished and over.

Today I deal with a new fresh slate. There is so many reasons I can blame people in my

past for staying stuck. I can think of one reason and another to tear apart their character

and stay at a distance.

Matthew 7:3 writes, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your neighbors eye

and pay no attention to the plank in your own”?

I know in my past, I have driven people away or attracted people to me based solely

on my own decisions. Today I want to be ready to “DO THE HARD THINGS”. I want to

change my behavior and my attitude and my actions with forgiveness of self first. I start

by seeing myself with an “understanding heart”. In doing this - I ONLY ATTRACT GOODNESS

FROM THE UNIVERSE. I hold no blame to others from my past and by doing this, it frees my

mind of anger.

A long time ago people came up to the Teacher, Jesus, and said to him, “Teacher, this

woman we have here was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says we must

stone her. What do you say?” They were trying to trap him into saying something that

they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger.

The people kept demanding an answer, so Jesus stood up again and said, ”All right, but

let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” Then he stooped down and

began writing in the dust. When the accusers heard what he said, they slipped away one

by one. Beginning with the eldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with

the woman. Now Jesus stood up again saying to the woman, “Where are all of your

accusers? Didn’t even one of them accuse you?” “No Lord”, said the woman. And Jesus

said, “Neither do I accuse you. Go, sin no more”.

This message is a lot about blame. Blame, we all need to see, does not have to start with

us. This also talks about what goes hand in hand with blame and it is judgement. No one

has the right to judge another human being. We have not walked in their shoes. IF we

know they were in our life and it was wrong, we need to leave, close the door and do not

look back. Learn from where we have come from. I refuse today to be angry and mad

and sad because of a situation that I have come from. I am better now. I am healthier

now. More than that, I have self love. IF I can stop blaming myself for any and all past

situations that did not work out, IF I can agree it it time now to start over, IF I accept all this

and say to myself, “Now is the time to search deep with in and do the hard work that is

expected of me.”

WHAT IS THE HARD WORK THAT I SPEAK OF HERE?

The hard work is Let it all go! “LETTING IT ALL GO NOW” IT doesn’t matter anymore how I

justify why or how someone treated me poorly. That day is gone. THAT SITUATION IS OVER.

Time to do the hard work, take it all out to the garbage and be done with it.

I must SEE my life differently from this moment on.

I can see that I am a “child of God” filled with beautiful light, love and laughter. I accept

that everyone WHO is in my life right now, is here for a reason and I do not blame anything

or anyone any longer.

I AM READY FOR MY LIFE LESSONS WITH MY EYES WIDE OPEN.

I agree to do my best. I accept all that is HERE RIGHT NOW. ALL given to me on a daily

basis. I see that I am growing and governing where I go with higher self awareness. I

gleam all Gods light to shine into the darkness when and if I need to help someone that

asks for help and is stuck. I will accept all my own challenges with a brave heart. Jesus

Christ’s light shines brightly within me.

I CAN FEEL I NOW HAVE HAD A COMPLETE CHANGE OF HEART.

I am surrounded with the Arch Angel of protection, Micheal. I take on the brave shield of

protection from all darkness and daily I memorize and say the powerful

PRAYER OF PROTECTION

THE LIGHT OF GOD SURROUNDS ME,

THE LOVE OF GOD ENFOLDS ME,

THE POWER OF GOD PROTECTS ME,

THGE PRESENSE OF GOD WATCHES OVER ME,

WHEREVER I AM, GOD IS…AND ALL IS WELL. AMEN.

As I go forward, CAN I LET GO OF, Who, what or why I blame someone today?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Brutal Honesty” Blog #93

What if it hurts too much to tell myself the truth?

Why can’t I get that person who means so much to me, to just listen?

When will I be able to go it alone and not worry about everything?

Treasure these moments for they are “teachable moments”. No pain - no gain. Once

upon a time, not so long ago in my own life, I felt completely lost, all alone. If people were

all around me, that didn’t matter, I was completely in the dark.

Now, how do I tell if I am living my life with brutal honesty, or dwelling in illusion?

Most of all, I need to have an open heart. My heart has to be open, not closed.

A story that comes quickly to mind, is about my choice of relationships as I grew older. I

found comfort in being with people that had so many problems. Probably because by

focusing on their problems, I could avoid my own. More often than not, the brutal truth

hurts. How often have we heard a friend or someone close to us say, “I am going to be

brutally honest with you”. Do we want to hear this from someone? Especially when

someone says to you, “all you do is complain, you do nothing about it” So suddenly it is

not about the brutal honestly, its about “my hurt feelings I feel”.

There are so many complicated outcomes of hurt feelings. More than anything, this

damages relationships sometimes permanently. The whole point of saying “Brutal

honesty’ is exactly that - brutal means violent, savagely. Then you have the word honest”

which basically means moral truth, morally correct. The minute my words can hurt some

one, every thing changes and the whole point of what is said, gets lost completely.

FEELING REALLY HURT.

It’s a long time after we share such brutal honesty with someone we care about, that we

can come to grips with the “Now, WHY WAS THAT SAID”? This is HARD TRUTH. It’s obvious

there is no safe haven in brutal honesty. So why go there? Because we can still be

brutally honest and have compassion in our voice when we speak. IF I can manage to

turn the tables so to speak, start with being brutally honest with myself. This is THE FIRST,

the most important place to begin.

I look at my life and I see the same two paths every single day. There is the path of

honesty or the path of dishonesty. For me to be truthful or to be a liar? Before I can help

anyone else I must learn to help myself. I can go back quietly in my mind, all the choices I

have made that I may be ashamed of, SO, I ask for forgiveness..

Can I and DO I accept there is no right way to do something wrong?

I once had a girlfriend in high school. She did not know how much I admired her beauty.

Yet one day she came to school with a wild look. Her hair was dyed to a dirty bluish black.

She had piercings everywhere and had now given in to self tattooing. Her behavior

encouraged all the wrong kind of friendships. Her grades dropped and her habits were

horrible. Smoking drugs, sex became her greatest vices. She hid behind this darkness.

and so in the end her final choice was death at a young age. She lived wild and she died

even wilder. This girl did not know brutal honesty with herself. She lived inside an illusion

that gave no truth yet in the end, swallowed her up. She looked for a “quick fix” everywhere

outside herself. Her initial beauty that I found so captivating, became the frosting on a

stale birthday cake. IF only someone could have gotten through to her with “Brutal honest

compassion”. But she was not open. “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”

When we are dishonest with ourself it eats away at us inside. The dishonesty festers and

grows, spreading a black mold into our conscience, blocking our ability to “feel” and be in

touch with a guilty conscience. Because there is an internal law that abides, “we are

constantly internally punishing ourselves for every wrong we commit, and reward ourself

for all acts of goodness that we do”. This is the sub conscience.

So as I come to a close on my belief in Brutal Honesty, I stand with one truth above all.

“I must love God with all my heart, mind and soul. I must love myself above all else.

Nothing else, no one else and no place else can give me the love that I must learn

to feel for myself.

This is my moment NOW- I AM brutally honest with myself and have a complete

change of heart. The universe will show me, my Lord will show me, I can

show Me each day how to “show up for myself!”

Rudyard Kipling said it best when he said:

IF YOU CAN FORCE YOUR HEART AND NERVE TO SERVE YOUR TURN

LONG AFTER THEY ARE GONE, AND SO “HOLD ON”…

WHEN THERE IS NOTHING LEFT IN YOU EXCEPT THE

WILL WHICH SAYS TO THEM; ‘HOLD ON!”

So this must be the day that I stop making any and all excuses for me. I must stop with

the illusion and have a “complete change of heart”. When I realize that I must take

complete responsibility for ME and only me. When I see that by depending on my heart to

soften all MY past regrets, I now invite HIM, my Lord Jesus Christ to be at the helm of my

ship. I can sail through rough waters and be not afraid, for HE is with me. My brutal

honesty heals my heart. I no longer just survive, but I now feel I can thrive and do what I

must do one day at a time.

“Do I dare to be brutally honest starting right now?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Instant Truth” Blog #92

Isn’t it hard out there trying to go it all alone?

Do I ride that roller coaster of doubt, throughout the day?

How can I tap in to real truth and find the right path to follow?

When I was watching the amazing true telecast about people around the world who live

to be in their hundreds, one fact stood out above all the unbelievable attributes to these

people who live in “the Blue Zone”. They take anger and revenge and contempt, and

forgive instantly. I do believe it is in the “carrying around that heavy carpet of anger” that

weights us down! WE FORGET TO FORGIVE. These people living in the Blue Zone live healthy

lives and enjoy one another, on a daily basis!

Recently I came across a definition that one of my children had written in class for the

word:

“INTEGRITY - “Everyone has a different definition of integrity. It has been said that Integrity

is what I say, what I think and what I do - all being the same thing. In a nut shell, Integrity

means being honest and upright and avoid deceiving others. To just live my life with

values I hold true. So therefore, Integrity demands that I act according to the values and

beliefs that make up my character! It is really essential I am absolutely honest, sincere,

and do not have deceiving behavior. This is because Integrity is the basis for trust and

confidence and goodness that must exist in my life. If I compromise my personal integrity,

I break the bonds of trust between me and my family and my friends. Yet most

importantly my own relationship with my God who gave me my inner truth to rely on. For I

must remember that inner truth is always there. HIS instant truth.

What if someone said to me today; “DESCRIBE YOURSELF IN 10 POSITIVE TRAITS. What would

they be? Would those words be: Forgiving, kind, humble. Selfless, grateful, nurturing,

patient, faithful, tolerant and balanced? That’s a positive group of words. Let’s take a

moment to see what ARE the words that describe me the best? This is a simple, but

wonderful way to do a “self analysis and look at myself from the inside out”. So, I can take

a piece of plain paper. Write the numbers one to ten. Then give words.

A fascinating description of poor character is as follows. Way back when, someone wrote

about the “Four Horsemen of Behaviors”, these four horsemen, if not saddled and trained

will escalate conflict in my life and cause harmful behaviors that become a normal part

of my life!

The Four Horsemen are: CRITICISM. DEFENSIVENESS. CONTEMPT. and SHUTTING DOWN.

Why is it so important that I address these “four horsemen” to balance my life

and bring in “Instant truth”?

CRITICISM is almost always blaming someone else with disapproval and judgement.

Allowing myself to focus on their flaws. This will always be met with anger and disdain.

The easiest way to deal with Crilticism is to turn it around to an ‘I statement”. Much better

for me to express MY FEELINGS “why” I want to criticize and do it in a warm, kind tone.

DEFENSIVENESS almost always makes excuses for behavior and shifts the blame to the

other person. (“It isn’t my fault!”.) Yet, when I take responsibility for my anger, by showing

remorse and apologize - “I shouldn’t have raised my voice!” I AM OWNING UP TO MY OWN

BEHAVIOR AS WELL.

CONTEMPT - How often have I used put-downs, or insults and acted superior? Even in my

tone of voice, I can push people away. Yet, by simply showing a little affection, giving a

compliment or showing appreciation for something, this changes the contempt to

kindness and fosters a healthier relationship with instant truth.

Lastly, “SHUTTING DOWN” can be tough. It is so easy for me to not want to listen to the

truth, let alone find inner strength. When I choose to shut down, withdraw, or just go silent,

I learn nothing! I know it is in my best interest to relax and listen. I can use deep breathing

here, calm down and stay present in the moment with the other person who (believe it or

not) is also my teacher in a very positive way. For we are ALL teachers to one another.

This is where we learn our greatest lessons on a daily basis.

I remember years and years ago, I met and became friends with my neighbor. He had

lost his wife and was living alone. I never saw another car at his home and I never saw him

receive any visitors. I loved to bring him “goodies” every now and then. Whether it be hot

chicken soup, homemade banana bread or chocolate chip cookies, he was grateful. One

lovely warm summer day, we started talking and I asked him if he had any family. He told

me he did have one brother. “I really have not spoken to him in more then twelve years”,

he sheepishly revealed. I was astonished in hearing this. How can that be?” I asked him

in a surprised tone. “Well, he said, it started out that we both were very angry with each

other about something I don’t recall, it had to be important, but now frankly, I just can’t

remember!” I asked him if his brother was still living and he sadly looked down and

confessed in a very quiet tone that he did not even know.

Anger, resentment and judging are three thieves that can rob me of my INTEGRITY. My

inner guidance and my inner light becomes clouded over. There was a study done by

Staew et al. (:1994) “This study showed that people who had positive emotions attracted

better relationships and had greater success in life and nurtured a healthy body as well”.

Again - I must remember the basic fact of my human life comes with choice.

I can choose to be “In the world or of the world”. I can choose to believe or not believe. I

know innately I am given “FREE WILL”. With this Free Will I get to choose what I want in

my life.

Isn’t that interesting. No matter what, God lets me choose. I can believe in him or not.

However, there is a reason “WHY” I have a conscience. The fact I have inner spiritual

knowledge and inner guidance is up to me to see all this comes from HIM.

I can feel HIM quietly asking me to believe in my Lord Jesus Christ.

Yet, All I have to do is ask and I then receive HIS “INSTANT TRUTH”.

So today, “Am I willing to ask for Inner Instant Truth?”

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

Please share this blog today!

“What Won’t Work?” Blog #91

People are pushing me in every direction, IF I let them.

My life is filled with “stuff” I need to fix.

Every day lies waiting, but Why is my life NOT working right?

The greatest gift I can give to myself is TIME, TIME to learn about me. I want to

understand and accept and believe that all my hurt has come into my life to teach me

the valuable lessons that I need to learn about ME. Yet, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? A

little story fits here nicely now, so I jump right in.

Fast back track to my teenage years and living at home off and on when I wasn’t at my

grandpas house. I would go home on the weekends because I felt so guilty in “running

away to a safe place”. Yet, as I look back I see the puzzling problem of even trying to get

through a day with clarity. My parents were living in complete and utter darkness. They

did not even realize what a “good life to live” is. Because my father was a raging, abusive,

mean alcoholic, us children ran away, stayed away, “felt away from any confusing

parenting they tried to randomly throw at us”. By my teen years, I had seen so much daily

drinking and fighting and abusive anger that all three of us children lived inside a home all

together, separately. Family that did not care. I was sixteen years old, trying to shuffle

back and forth between my parents and grandparents. I could see my one brother

becoming wilder and experimenting with dark drugs. I had a couple of friends but still

kept my family secrets to myself. One night stands out in sadness. I had gone through

too many fights. The horrid screaming and my mother crying at home. Another weekend

of this raging fighting. Empty beer bottles all over our dismal, dirty little kitchen. What were

they even fighting about anyway? I had my own problems and they didn’t care. On

impulse, I grabbed an empty beer bottle, smashed it and cut at my wrists. In the back of

my mind, I was somehow thinking this act would knock some sense into my drunken

father sitting on the chair in the other room. I remember walking in to show him.

Hysterically crying, I flung myself at him but then pulled back. I had hopes that for the first

time my dad would pay attention to his daughter. How his drunken, droopy eyes even

looked up at me I don’t know. But he stared at my bleeding wrists. Then in a slow, slurring,

angry tone he spoke. Snickering, he said; You can’t even do that F…….. right! Now get outta

my sight.

Ironically something inside of me snapped. In the strangest way, yes, I felt completely

alone but that was good. I suddenly got an insight that it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter

because I would prove him wrong in my strength. I was stupid to show him my weakness.

Never again would I allow myself to let someone or something take away my inner power.

I suddenly saw my father as a weak, beaten, lost lamb. I pitied him. I hated him. It took

years to turn me around and see how he chose drugs and alcohol over his family and

faith. He lived in such darkness that God was never allowed in. The dark hole consumed

and swallowed him at fifty two.

So am I defined because of where I came from? NO, It will not label who I am. What

matters most is where I AM going! I could cop out and feel sorry for myself forever. Well,

what will that ever prove? That would get me no where. All I had to do was look around.

Every single someone has something, somehow hurting them as well. At that moment I

realized Its not about my family, it’s not about any other person, ITS ALL ME. What do I want

to do about me? I had to be safe. I saw that immediately.

There is a Bridge we all cross in our years coming out of childhood into our teens -Teens

become adults quickly. Adults with addictions hard to stop. We look at life with a narrow

family awareness, but we do get to choose and see, ITS ALL UP TO ME. WHATEVER IS NOT

WORKING, I HAVE TO FIX IT. MY BRAIN IS TELLING ME DRUGS, PILLS, SMOKING …. ARE ALL NOT

WORKING. PRAYING, I DO IT IN A HEALTHY WAY NOW.

My l.ife unfortunately, did not get easier with an amazing awareness, but its way better.

Because human beings are creatures of habit, we do adjust. No matter what. Ironically,

most of us decide that we “will never be like the darkness we see” AND THEN WE CREEP

RIGHT TOWARD IT THROUGH HABITS, IDEAS, AND PEOPLE. There is only one way that works. A

belief in HIM. Jesus is MY only answer. It might make you want to withdraw right now, yet I

say in this saturated world of darkness, NO other force is strong enough to take on EVIL. It

creeps its dark ugly head and gets in.

As a teen, you try to fit in no matter what. We want to fit it. We need to fit in and find out;

What works and what doesn’t. Having friends makes us feel safe. But we need to check

them out, what are they made of? What is working in a good way for them and for me?

So I need to be careful. “Birds of a feather flock together”.

IF a person is sad, depressed, angry, resentful, bitter, judgemental, THESE are the same

qualities MY person will attract in FRIENDS around ME. WE WANT TO FEEL NEEDED. I WANT TO

FEEL SAFE. I WANT AND DESERVE TO FEEL LOVED. It Is hard and risky and challenging to go

out and find friends who appear “Healthy & Happy”. How TO DO THIS?

I STOP INDULGING MY LOWER SELF DESIRES. I BECOME KINDER TO OTHERS. I AM HONEST.

Yet, behind closed doors of every home in the country, a family life is living NOW. How are

we treating each other and above all I need o be honest with my feelings. if a family

member or a friend has let me down, hurt me, abandoned me, I need to let them know

through words or a letter and discern if it is time to let go of what is not working. I must

remember that in order for my life to work for me I accept the lessons I have been given.

We are all teachers for one another in this classroom of life, we are all students of HIS

word. IF we but accept this challenge. Free Will willl always be a double edged sword.

Just because we can do it, does not mean we should. I pray to Jesus daily for discipline,

detachment and discernment. Inside each of us is a fragile higher self child that needs

nurturing. In my aloneness I have so many tools to help myself today.

“AM I READY TO FIX THINGS INSIDE ME THAT DON’T WORK?”

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Painful Push” Blog #90

Some days it’s enough to get up and just go get the mail. Other days, in depression I ask,

where does life take me now? Those days all I’ve done is beg for sleep to come, my only

refuge. Lonely, isolated and afraid, what is coming up next?

The Story of the Eagle

by Vishwabramana

The Eagle has the longest life-span of its species and lives up to 70 years old. But to get to

that age, the eagle must make a very difficult decision! In its 40th year, the eagle’s long

and flexible talons can no longer grab a prey which serves as food. Its long and sharp

beak becomes bent. Its old-aged and heavy wings, due to their thick feathers, stick to its

chest and make it difficult to fly. Then, the eagle is left with ONLY TWO OPTIONS: DIE or go

through a painful process of CHANGE! This process last for 150 days or five months. The

process requires the eagle to fly to a mountain top and sit on its nest. There the eagle

knocks its beak against a rock until it plocks it out. Then the eagle will wait for the new

beak to grow back after which it will pluck out its talons. When its talons grow back, the

eagle starts plucking out its old-aged feathers. And after this, the Eagle takes its famous

flight of rebirth and LIVES for thirty more years!!

Why is change needed? To survive and thrive. We all need to go through pain. It can be

a painful push into powerful change. The old memories, negative habits and fixed

mindset must go. Freed from past burdens, we can take advantage of the powerful

present. IF an Eagle makes this life changing decision, so must we. The EAGLE avoids the

rain, by flying above the rain clouds. So we can see why my favorite bird, with rare insight

and a most amazing background, is the EAGLE.

Did you know that Eagles balance aggression with being graceful? If only us humans

could manage to do this. Eagles are one of the fastest birds on the planet, they can fly as

fast as a speeding car and they are full grown at twelve weeks old. Eagles do not push

their young out of the nest? In fact, they want their young to learn the hard way. So they

wait to feed their babies until the babies feel intense hunger. When the mother eagle is

building her huge nest, she starts by layering it. She layers the nest with thorns, rocks,

branches and other sharp materials not really meant for a gentle resting place! But after

the base part is done, she lines the nest with a thick padding of feathers, fur, wool, pine

straw and soft materials. This is where she lays her eggs. Here is where her newborn

babies get all their food and nutrition to grow. Then when the babies are ready to fly - the

Mother eagle does something bizarre! She starts to mess up the nest. She stirs it up. With

her long talons, she digs up the sharp rocks, the thorns, and the hard materials, moving

away all the feathers and the soft comforts at the top. The mother eagle knows it is time

to deliberately change the home environment for her young. It is time for her to make

them ready to mature and move on out of the nest. IT IS TIME for them to learn to soar

above the storms on their own. AND THEY DO. You and I can too.

Did you know about a man named Nick Vujicic? He is the founder of an organization “Life

without Limbs”. Nick has no arms and no legs. Yet he plays musical instruments and uses

a computer and gives motivational talks and he has written several books. Here is

another man, Andrea Bocelli. He is one of the most famous singers alive, and yet he is

blind. Still, he has gone on to sell seventy five million records and continues to sing!

Bethany Hamilton survived a shark attack at the young age of seventeen. She sadly lost

her entire left arm. After only four weeks, she was back surfing and was back competing

and eventually won six First Place trophies! Then we have another amazing man, Stevie

Wonder. Here was a man born blind and despite being blind from birth, he has recorded

thirty of the U.S. top hits. I only mention these people because they are like you and I, just

people. Yet, people that were born with severe adversities and have managed to not just

cope but overcome their adversitiy and contributed to society with great inspiration on

how to live life to its fullest.

Today I can face my pain. I can and will feel that internal “Painful push” and get out of my

“lower self” way. I no longer want to just survive but I want to thrive! As Dr. Seuss has said

in so many ways, “Oh, the things I can do, if I just allow myself to!

The Lord has showed us this magnificent Eagle who teaches her young to leave home

and manage on their own. Life is painful, yes, but it is in the painful push towards

awareness, that we G R O W strong internally. In my distress, loneliness and grief, I have

been made aware of the beautiful internal light that is inside to guide me. This light takes

all the darkness away. There is no possible way we can achieve internal growth without

the pain of dealing with life’s issues day to day to day. Yes, we can laugh and be happy

and enjoy one another. We are meant to do this. Here in lies the balance. However, it is in

the painful push of sadness, fear and darkness that we must search for GOD’s truth.

Every one of us has an internal warrior of super human strength! So many times we hear

of this person or that person using this super-human strength in miraculous ways. We too,

can do this. There is no question about it, in the face of all obstacles and no matter what

the cicumstances are, I AM designed to soar like the eagle. It’s in the remembering, that I

find my Higher Self who is internally waiting and then gets the painful push to come

forward IF we but let it into our hearts.

HE is in me today. Jesus waits in my heart. I can talk to him now.

“Can I accept the “painful push” and turn my trouble into triumph?”

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Body Blame” Blog #89

Most of all - It is good to be alone with oneself; find balance through deep breathing..

I can spend all day and night with noise. I can keep myself busy with mindless activity.

OR, I can find the deepest part of me that is waiting internal in truth, love and goodness.

This is the body of LIGHT that burns to come forward and overcome any and all blame I

carry inside myself. Believe it or not, every person has some internal passion for

something…..what is it? This is my job while I am on earth, to find my calling, regardless of

my age. So many years go by and give me silly habits that I rely on. I bundle fears fast

and furious and place those at the head of the line of my interior leadership. My body is

running on whatever fuel I decide to provide it with. today. Now, I may rationalize I need

the energy, caffeine and “sugar” in drinking a Red Bull drink. I have told myself that it is

less than sugar that is in a cup of strawberries. However, that does not even need to be

rationalized, justified or proved wrong. IT JUST IS.

Chemicals and SUGAR are the least of my body needs. I can drink plain water and

IF I want to add something important, I add a package of Vitamin C crystals (1000mg.)

Its ironic how my body has always been taken for granted when I was younger. I

expected it to act and do whatever I wanted it to. Yet, as I go on through the years, I find

energy harder to come by. This is because I have blamed all the wrong reasons for my

body not being “in good, healthy shape”. IF I stand in the mirror today and weigh myself,

there is an ideal weight for every person. Heres the first tip: When I stand up, I am able to

comfortably touch my toes and see them! My stomach should not stand out in a bulge

(unless there is a severe health issue I am dealing with).

My body should take in food in the morning that gives me energy - (NOT just an energy

drink). I can eat Raisin Bran/cheerios/all bran/fruit/nuts/yogert/muffin/eggs that are “free

range of chemicals” I can start my deep breathing to the count of one thousand one,

breathing deep in through my nose and out through my mouth. 10 x.

Regardless of my age - I do not blame my body for what it can not do because I do NOT

WANT TO DO IT. That being said, I can walk. I make myself walk, (preferably outdoors) and

as I walk I say powerful, positive affirmations internally to myself.

Why have I started my blog this way today? It is because I have let myself go. I feel it, I

know it and I can see it, when I look into the mirror! There is no reasonable alibi for not

taking good care of myself. I have blamed my body in the past for exercise that I fail to

do. This is wrong. As long as I have a breath inside of me, there is some kind of exercise

that I can do. There is Yoga, Pilates, Isometirics, fast walking, biking, swimming, and more

of just plain walking…..and more walking.

The Queen of England lived to be almost one hundred. She stated that more of her life

was spend outside then inside. Regardless of the weather, she managed to be outside.

When I blame my body for not eating right and feeling ashamed, I am violating a sacred

part of me that is alive. Because My Body is the Temple of God, it is my responsibility to

take care of, feed healthy and nurture my entire body. It is hard to accept that fact that

once I start blaming my body and myself for so many things, everything around me starts

to fall apart. I am prone to anxiety, panic attacks, and more and more mental abuse of

myself.

HERE AND NOW BODY BLAMING, SHAMING AND WRONG THINKING MUST S T O P.

My body and my mind and my spirit are on a journey together while I am alive on this

earth. Instead of this internal battle that I constantly fight, it’s time for me to “let go” of all

that blame wherever it is casting its sinister shadow inside of me. IT is time for me to find

healing and higher self health and peace of mind. All the therapy in the world cannot free

me from blaming myself for anything until I am ready to simply say; “I am ready to let go.

I am ready to take off this oversized, unbelievably burdon-sized , weighted coat and

breathe in a sigh of relief.”

I am done with the lie. I have let go of the “false, fake, feeble feelings” of darkness.

Drinking can’t free me. Pills can’t free me. Weed and Vaping can’t free me. ONLY the

belief that HE is here for me now and I accept that My Body is the Temple of GOD.

Therefore, IF I choose self-help or therapy or insights I have gleamed from counseling, I

must preface this all with my own understanding of God working through me now. With

this awareness, I choose not to fall back into harmful patterns. It’s important for me to

remember that Knowledge once learned is power! Taking all these insights into

consideration I can see that my behavior can and should and does change now. Now I

can see that serving my body by giving it healthy food and drink, builds my energy level in

important ways. Caring for my body instantly removes false fears, false friends, and

stagnation. SO I GO OUTSIDE. I find ways to exercise. I give my body permission to

process all I am doing in a safe way. Its time to see that my body, mind and spirit are one

with me.

IF I see myself, I am this triangle;

Spirit - The Holy Spirit is inside of me - I tap into it with prayer.

Mind - I think healthy thoughts/ in meditation daily.

Body - My body is the Temple of God - I exercise and feed it healthy food

I have found peace in prayer and forgiveness and “Letting GO of all past problems”.

“Am I ready to stop the blame and heal my body, mind and spirit today?”

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Poison or Power?” Blog #88

Where is the biggest thing I am afraid of right now?

What is keeping me from finding my “highest potential?

How can I go forward when I am so filled with fearful thought?

Above all today, I must know there are Angels everywhere around me, always.

I remember a while back when I heard a powerful speech about “Duty”. The biggest

problem with Duty, I was told, is duty appears to be restrictive, old fashioned and silly.

However, ONLY “Duty” can make a person strong, reliable and thriving. When I make

myself P U S H through all the “I don’t want to because….”, and eliminate all the objections,

and try to do something different today, I am now willing to lift the veil of fear. It is only

then that I begin to see the light on the horizon. What can possibly be more important

than “daily doing the right thing?” ABSOLUTELY NOTHING more important.

I know I need to, I have to, I must find MY place IN a house of God. Angels are there.

IT IS ONLY THERE I CAN BEGIN TO FIND BALANCE, IN TOTAL SILENCE WITHIN ME. IF I look at my

Sunday and I give every reason in the world NOT to attend a church. I should sit myself

down, then write all my justifiable reasons while talking to HIM. Tell HIM out loud, “Why I do

not feel any need to attend the house of HIS domain. Explain in detail my other, more

important, choices for Sunday activity?” Angels are watching.

We do not begin to understand the importance of finding a deeper self in the house of

GOD”. IF I choose not to talk with HIM and recognize the angels are with us indubitably,

then I push and shove and throw away truth. Now, why is that?

FOR I promise you IF you choose to open your eyes to the possibility of knowing angels

and MY Guardian Angel are with ME every moment of every day, then and only then,

poison cannot permeate my inner being. Powerful light moves throughout me. Your life,

just like my life, will change in ways that are absolutely amazing!

Quite a while ago I learned how to find out who my own guardian angel is, and at the end

of my blog today, I will remind you how to find yours. I heard a beautiful story awhile back

in a book I purchased titled “Entertaining Angels”, by Anne Neilson. She shared a

powerful story about going to work at a Food Shelf for homeless people and volunteering.

People came from all parts of the city to donate coats and warm clothing for families and

children who had nothing. People wanted to make sure that when the homeless arrived,

there would be warm clothes, especially an overcoat and a toy for each child. They

called Jimmy Johns and had sandwiches sliced into thirds so everyone could get

something to eat. When the volunteer woman arrived and began working, she noticed a

particularly young woman with four little children waiting in line. This young woman

waited and waited, telling her little children to be patient. At the end, when the volunteer

went to leave, there was an icy rain outside and there she saw the young woman from

inside. Now she also noticed the sad young woman was also pregnant. There she stood

waiting, trying to find a ride. Her four small children were crying because the line had

been too long and they ran out of clothes and toys. So the voluteer walked up to the

young woman and offered to give her a ride home. While they were driving, the young

woman was very emotional. She shared her story of living in fear of someone who she did

not know how to leave. As the volunteer continued driving and listening, she internally

decided to make an important stop. “We are going to Walmart”, she told the young

mother, “you can pick out a warm winter coat and one toy for each child.” The young

mother was also given new underwear and pajamas. In the car, she had continued to

share her tragic story with the volunteer. The horrific chaos, feeling trapped and not

knowing how to get out. As they walked into the store, the volunteer shared, “God and his

angels are always watching. Events are placed in our lives to help us “see clearly”. If I

can surrender to God, trust in his plan for me, HE will show me the way out!

The young mom suddenly got a call from someone who said: “your boyfriend, who you

have been living with, has just been found fatally shot”. Ironically, there was an Off-Duty

policeman who happened to be at Walmart. The volunteer asked if that policeman could

find out more details. They did and told the young, pregnant, woman NOT to go anywhere

near the apt. It was now suddenly swarming with police. It was time now for her to move

on. This was finally the young mothers chance to get away, start over and be safe. A

temporary hotel for a week to start, was found immediately. Now the moment to sort out

what to do next was here. This young mother was encouraged to contact her own family

who she had been estranged from for a long time. She had been living with her children

in uncertain danger. Finally faced with forgiveness, future optimism, and safety, this lovely

young pregnant mother saw hope. Angels came out of nowhere to be there for her.

Angels are all around us.

Truth lies in believing in divine intervention, I know that I do. Many years back, when I was

lost, living in fear and darkness, I had given up. Still, I put my hands together and said,

“Dear Lord,…..I can’t do it any more, please help me”. I promise you this, Angels

swooped down. My heart felt lighter. My room was lit up in sunlight.

AND…… I believed. Not for a single moment will I ever abandon my faith in Jesus Christ.

Even though my own cherished mother, was brutally beaten and killed. My disturbed

broken brother put in an institution never to be free again and die there. Then recently

my beloved, beautiful eldest daughter found dead of alcohol and drug addiction, in a

hotel room. All these horrific deaths blistering, beyond understanding. Events that could

normally cripple the strongest convert. Still I choose HIS light, not darkness.

I choose never to feel alone. I never feel abandoned, and I do not give up.

For I see the poison trying to take my power, by worldly promises of falsehoods.

Understanding it is the knowing HE is there for me, every minute of each day. Just

knowing this, makes all the difference. I now challenge YOU to find YOUR strength amidst

YOUR darkness. Remove the poison of a false life of lies. Knowing nothing can harm you if

you do not allow it. Replace all empty, dark energy, with powerful Jesus Christ energy.

With this in mind, how can we not see God in every single moment?

IF you choose to want to find the name of your own Guardian Angel tonight: Simply lay

down at the end of the evening in quiet, peaceful repose. Now ask internally, thankfully

and knowingly,

“What is the name of my own Guardian Angel?”

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Feeling Trapped” Blog #87

Do I feel stuck in a corner, with no way out right now?

Have I found more time is spent on the negative and not positive?

Has everything in my life become just too overwhelming?

Every one of us have had ups and downs and difficult situations to get out of. There are

hundreds of platitudes to suffice. So here are some of my favorites.

“A bad attitude is like a flat tire; if you don’t change it, you won’t go anywhere”. (Joyce Meyer)

Today I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow I can do what others can’t”. (Jerry Rice)

And one of the best:

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose”. (Dr. Seuss)

I think about life around me and how many examples of necessary care are out there. IF I

don’t fill my car with gas, what will happen? I cannot drive it! IF I don’t plug my phone in

at night - the battery willl be dead and it will not work? IF I don’t eat food and drink liquids

I will get weak and die. These are basic rules of life.

If I don’t have a map for my life, I most likely will find myself “Lost in darkness”. So what

about all that stuff in the middle of my life? What STUFF fills up my day? Gossip? Junk

food? TV? Computer trash? Facetime and different apps? WORRY….. And people around

me!!

Don’t I sometimes wish I could become more weightless? How often do I take on things in

life, or other peoples stuff that bog me down and make me feel trapped. Life does not

need to be like this. We are meant to live life with a lighter touch. Have you ever watched

a balloon that has helium put into it? It gets bigger and bigger and pretty soon when it is

all blown up, it can float high up into the air….weightless. When I gave the examples of the

phone needing to be charged and filling up my car with gas, I thought, what about me?

Am I so cavalier to think that life just happens to me regardless of how I eat, how I think, or

how I act?”

NO. MY attitude at the start of every day is what steers me completely. So today I am

more aware, I am better fed, I have my tools and “I BUCKLE UP”. As this time I AM prepared.

I do not now, nor ever will I, feel trapped in doing things. I understand and I believe that

NOTHING CAN HARM ME IF I DO NOT ALLOW IT.

So what exactly does this mean? This means I am aware that LIFE is out there YET, I need

protection. First and foremost I must protect myself with prayer at the start of every day.

Now after prayer it is “in the knowing” that as I choose to make decisions about what

unfolds in front of me I have instilled “discernment”. This means I NOW internally know to

make the correct decision for my life.at that time. Sad, depressing dark thoughts are

being PUSHED away - REPLACED with my words of revive ….rehabilitate….rejuvinate…….renew…

reenergize and recondition.

I MUST understand and believe that my body is truly the Temple of God. There is an

internal obligation to MYSELF and my GOD to daily remember this. While I am on this

journey of life, it’s so important for me to travel lighter. Don’t take myself so seriously and

GO OUTSIDE TODAY AND reenergized, I WALK. Everything in my life takes on a different slant

when I am outside walking and listening and looking at nature, I breathe in new life. . My

troubles? Yes, they may be there, yet I remember to refocus on a higher self inside of me.

THIS TO SHALL PASS. No matter what, I have healthy thoughts. No matter what, I have

internal help. NO matter what, I have today and I have choice. I can choose good things

for myself because I am blessed with a healthy mind to do this. Nothing can ever harm

me IF I do not allow it to.

FROM THIS MOMENT ON…..I DO NOT ALLOW IT. I can play a beautiful song….I can read an

uplifting book, I can watch a funny movie, I can laugh with a valued friend. I can just be by

myself and take deep breaths. NO MORE DWELLING IN DARKNESS, LIFE IS TO BE LIVED.

When I think of the words restore, refresh and replenish, I am thinking how these words are

working hard in my life to bring out the best in me now. I need to wake up every morning

refreshed. This means I must get a good night’s sleep and a minimum of seven to eight

hours of important rest. When I think of the word replenish, I walk into my kitchen and I

am determined to replenish my body with good healthy food. I eat breakfast no matter

what. I can choose free-range eggs, oatmeal, yogurt, fruit and nuts. I can make a

smoothie with lots of fresh fruits. My mind needs to be restored every day. I must read

healing, inspiring, uplifting words. (Even if I pull them up on my phone.)

All around me are choices. I can listen to good, calming music. I can start with deep

breathing and above all, a simplistic prayer, “Thank you Lord that your will, not my

will, be done in my life today”. So, with that prayer, I am determined to make healthy

choices. I let go and let God, take over at the helm of my ship. He’s a much better

captain then I ever will be.

Can I take off this heavy coat of entrapment now and trust in my Lord?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW