“Forgive, Why?” Blog #96

So they hurt me, others have it coming if I don’t talk to them, right?

People turn on me, so do I just choose drama to get through it?

How do I discern to be the one to set things straight?

Forgiveness is actually LOVE at its very highest form. There is an invisible agreement when

we are little children and have parents who take care of us. What ever we do, what ever

we say, however we act, we are usually talked to and forgiven. After all, we are tiny little

people looking for answers in those who care for us, right? Parents should not hold

grudges for actions of their children, IF THERE IS A WAY FORWARD TO TEACH THEM. As

parents we are to teach..show and help earn to live life honestly. Sadly, not always true, I

can vouch for that. My parents were consumed with their own addictions and dark drama

and dysfunction. Yet, there are lessons abounding in that scenario as well. What is the

biggest one? FORGIVENESS!

I do believe I was put in my own family to learn powerful lessons on how to forgive. My

childhood was riddled with pain and anger and cruelty. I remember my brother trying so

hard in school, coming home with a B on a Science Test. My father was home in a drunken

rage and my brother walked in proudly to show his test to our father. My father grabbed

the test, scrambled it up and said; “get outta my sight, you no good kid, you can’t even get

an A on this test, you are worthless to me…!.” This is my brother who went down into our

cellar, burned the test and that ninth grade day told me; “I hate him, I will never forgive him

for what he does to us…, I’m done!” Watching, I looked on sadly with out saying a word as

my brother took a lighter and burned his science test to ashes. He started taking drugs,

more and more drugs and later died in an institution for killing someone. All because of

hatred, anger and unforgiveness. My father did not have a clue because he was so

wrapped up in his own addicted, sick world of dysfunction and drinking.

At this writing today, there is anger infesting the world everywhere. There is anger at home,

in our schools, in the work place and throughout the world.

So, what exactly is my role in all of this?

My role is to learn my lessons one at a time and have a forgiving heart. What if we were

handed a little “Life Guide Book” so to speak, when we are young. This guide book

emphasizes the importance of “learning from relationships”. Every single person will be in

different situations to learn valuable lessons from. If there is gossip, hatred, anger, this is

powerful stuff.

WHY are we given people situations to “learn lessons” from? Because this is how we grow

spiritually. A negative, nasty, gossipy person wins in their world. They follow no rules and

don’t care about consequences. More often then not, this person talks darkly about

another person, to cover up for their own darkness! So I think hard on this, why would I

want this person as my friend?

I believe we are alive for two reasons, to learn our lessons as we go through each day and

to help other people where and when and how ever we can. Of course, not all people who

come into our life, should stay in our life. We are all on separate journeys of growth. Some

people want to grow in every way they can. Others just stay stuck and pull those around

them down under too!

An important lesson to learn is I TRY NOT TO LISTEN TO GOSSIP ABOUT ANYBODY.

Gossip is dangerous. We are not meant to rip apart the character of others. We are, each

one of us, on our own journey. IF there is a situation with a friend and start terrible news

spreading - it is important to learn to “Discern” Pray on this and do not listen to others !

Most of the time the person spreading the gossip has huge forgiveness issues about

themself!

I will try to keep it simple and say, we are children of God and our bodies are the Temple of

God. So each of us must learn to FORGIVE ourself first for anything we have done that

holds a dark cloud over our head and inside our heart. Then look at the person spreading

gossip. Who really knows what is made up and what is truth vs. the lie? Someone once

said to me, “Oh yea? You have no idea what they did or what they said,…. why should I

forgive?” I say this, here is a discerning moment. First of all, IS this person meant to

continue on in my life?” IF so, I need to have peace NOT problems! Problems grow and

fester and build walls. IF I am to have clarity In my thinking and what I am to do. FlRST, I go

directly to the person that is being talked about and clear the air

I of course, prayed to have discernment. Discerning what is the right thing to do? How to

go about life with or without this person - Prayer will give me all my answers. Above all I

remember NOT to judge others. “there but for the grace of God, goI”

IF my anger lies with my teenage child, I owe it to the both of us to come together and talk

things over, give them my truth above all - for very soon they too, will go out into the world.

There are so many lost, angry sad teenagers struggling in this world. IF my anger lies with

any family member, I ask to be open to discussion, IF they remain close minded to truth, II

pray for them and move on. I can say this, because even in the family that raised me, I

look back and realize how final death is.

My father died without any forgiveness conversations between us. It was and has been

years of struggling with truth and forgiveness and seeing how easy it could have been,

had my father been open.

IF my anger lies with a friend, I go directly to the friend. NO need to listen to others ONLY my

friend WHO I am at odds with, we need to meet, have a discussion and I must decide to let

go, move on or continue a friendship. Gossip builds walls and destroys lives and no one

wins! WHO is the person that is gossiping and why is this happening? Where does

forgiving work into this situation? Lies grow and grow and grow. I must Find out the real

truth! I go forward and weed out my true friends.

However, there will always be people WHO refuse to forgive, refuse to let go and dig deeper

and deeper into the daily drama of dysfunction!! I LET THESE PEOPLE GO. THESE ARE NOT

THE PEOPLE WHO I CHOOSE TO HAVE IN MY LIFE TO BUILD ME UP. MY Life is filled with love and

goodness and truth.

IT IS IMPORTANT TO SEEK HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS.

I put my mind on good things, by telling the truth, this makes me feel good! I learn great

self control with weapons of inner forgiving, truth and self love Internally I have a sincere

desire to be slow to anger, not blame others. Here is where a sense of calm takes over and

I can let go of adversity! It’s getting easier to forgive myself. Above all, I use prayer

purposefully trusting that Jesus is right here by my side always. It hurts not to forgive.

Life is a giant classroom filled with realistic rules and daily options to jump leap years

ahead when I “let go” of my pride, let HIM in and agree to Learn from what happened. We

have already been forgiven by HIM when Jesus hung on the cross, tortured, and beaten

bloody. STILL he said, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do”.

I sat down and wrote a poem dedicated to overcoming anger with forgiveness.

“ANGER” by Barbie

Anger swells in the heart of thee, buried inside a big Black Sea.

Dismal dark voices, rich with lying menice

give few choices, where anger is endless.

On goes Anger in a deadly spin, Mr. Anger assures a wicked win.

Takes over with rage,

Brings in bruising blame, demands center stage!

Never ready to depart,

destroying all goodness in a loving, peaceful heart.

Hiding out is quiet, Forgiving self,

sitting high on a dusty shelf,

At once is felt a timeless prayer shout out!

Suddenly sweeps in, HIS Angelic Diadem, crushing Angers’ deadly sin.

Upon a cold, forlorn face, a powerful force gives chase.

Self Love and forgiveness is back!

Destroying all anger in its track.

Gone in a puff of smoke, so all can be set free,

Angels bravely sing to thee, HIS love has brought back my Humility!

__________________

I can do this, it’s not hard…in fact its a huge release, I have HIM to help me forgive.

Will I forgive myself today and someone in my family?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW