“Instant Truth” Blog #92
Isn’t it hard out there trying to go it all alone?
Do I ride that roller coaster of doubt, throughout the day?
How can I tap in to real truth and find the right path to follow?
When I was watching the amazing true telecast about people around the world who live
to be in their hundreds, one fact stood out above all the unbelievable attributes to these
people who live in “the Blue Zone”. They take anger and revenge and contempt, and
forgive instantly. I do believe it is in the “carrying around that heavy carpet of anger” that
weights us down! WE FORGET TO FORGIVE. These people living in the Blue Zone live healthy
lives and enjoy one another, on a daily basis!
Recently I came across a definition that one of my children had written in class for the
word:
“INTEGRITY - “Everyone has a different definition of integrity. It has been said that Integrity
is what I say, what I think and what I do - all being the same thing. In a nut shell, Integrity
means being honest and upright and avoid deceiving others. To just live my life with
values I hold true. So therefore, Integrity demands that I act according to the values and
beliefs that make up my character! It is really essential I am absolutely honest, sincere,
and do not have deceiving behavior. This is because Integrity is the basis for trust and
confidence and goodness that must exist in my life. If I compromise my personal integrity,
I break the bonds of trust between me and my family and my friends. Yet most
importantly my own relationship with my God who gave me my inner truth to rely on. For I
must remember that inner truth is always there. HIS instant truth.
What if someone said to me today; “DESCRIBE YOURSELF IN 10 POSITIVE TRAITS. What would
they be? Would those words be: Forgiving, kind, humble. Selfless, grateful, nurturing,
patient, faithful, tolerant and balanced? That’s a positive group of words. Let’s take a
moment to see what ARE the words that describe me the best? This is a simple, but
wonderful way to do a “self analysis and look at myself from the inside out”. So, I can take
a piece of plain paper. Write the numbers one to ten. Then give words.
A fascinating description of poor character is as follows. Way back when, someone wrote
about the “Four Horsemen of Behaviors”, these four horsemen, if not saddled and trained
will escalate conflict in my life and cause harmful behaviors that become a normal part
of my life!
The Four Horsemen are: CRITICISM. DEFENSIVENESS. CONTEMPT. and SHUTTING DOWN.
Why is it so important that I address these “four horsemen” to balance my life
and bring in “Instant truth”?
CRITICISM is almost always blaming someone else with disapproval and judgement.
Allowing myself to focus on their flaws. This will always be met with anger and disdain.
The easiest way to deal with Crilticism is to turn it around to an ‘I statement”. Much better
for me to express MY FEELINGS “why” I want to criticize and do it in a warm, kind tone.
DEFENSIVENESS almost always makes excuses for behavior and shifts the blame to the
other person. (“It isn’t my fault!”.) Yet, when I take responsibility for my anger, by showing
remorse and apologize - “I shouldn’t have raised my voice!” I AM OWNING UP TO MY OWN
BEHAVIOR AS WELL.
CONTEMPT - How often have I used put-downs, or insults and acted superior? Even in my
tone of voice, I can push people away. Yet, by simply showing a little affection, giving a
compliment or showing appreciation for something, this changes the contempt to
kindness and fosters a healthier relationship with instant truth.
Lastly, “SHUTTING DOWN” can be tough. It is so easy for me to not want to listen to the
truth, let alone find inner strength. When I choose to shut down, withdraw, or just go silent,
I learn nothing! I know it is in my best interest to relax and listen. I can use deep breathing
here, calm down and stay present in the moment with the other person who (believe it or
not) is also my teacher in a very positive way. For we are ALL teachers to one another.
This is where we learn our greatest lessons on a daily basis.
I remember years and years ago, I met and became friends with my neighbor. He had
lost his wife and was living alone. I never saw another car at his home and I never saw him
receive any visitors. I loved to bring him “goodies” every now and then. Whether it be hot
chicken soup, homemade banana bread or chocolate chip cookies, he was grateful. One
lovely warm summer day, we started talking and I asked him if he had any family. He told
me he did have one brother. “I really have not spoken to him in more then twelve years”,
he sheepishly revealed. I was astonished in hearing this. How can that be?” I asked him
in a surprised tone. “Well, he said, it started out that we both were very angry with each
other about something I don’t recall, it had to be important, but now frankly, I just can’t
remember!” I asked him if his brother was still living and he sadly looked down and
confessed in a very quiet tone that he did not even know.
Anger, resentment and judging are three thieves that can rob me of my INTEGRITY. My
inner guidance and my inner light becomes clouded over. There was a study done by
Staew et al. (:1994) “This study showed that people who had positive emotions attracted
better relationships and had greater success in life and nurtured a healthy body as well”.
Again - I must remember the basic fact of my human life comes with choice.
I can choose to be “In the world or of the world”. I can choose to believe or not believe. I
know innately I am given “FREE WILL”. With this Free Will I get to choose what I want in
my life.
Isn’t that interesting. No matter what, God lets me choose. I can believe in him or not.
However, there is a reason “WHY” I have a conscience. The fact I have inner spiritual
knowledge and inner guidance is up to me to see all this comes from HIM.
I can feel HIM quietly asking me to believe in my Lord Jesus Christ.
Yet, All I have to do is ask and I then receive HIS “INSTANT TRUTH”.
So today, “Am I willing to ask for Inner Instant Truth?”
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