“Really Stuck?” Blog #180

Do I think I have the answers to my life problems?

Why must I stay in this “one way” of living IF it’s not truth?

Can I find courage to try to get to a higher place now?

How have I endured a great despair? Have I closed up certain parts of my heart?

Today I am going to talk about myself and share a little story. I feel there is a small miracle

entwined in this story, but you decide. I have been very angry for a long time at a certain

person and closed the door and shut down my heart to any relationship with them. The

other day I was praying for the ability to discern, find forgiveness and go forward - start

over with a clean heart. I decided I would write this person a TEXT. When I read the text to

my husband he was adamant about my not sending it. He shared with me his reason was

“the text still was filled with angry emotion”. I did not agree with him. I myself, became

upset. However, I took my own advice which I so often have shared. I prayed on this Blog

about it. I put the text aside and decided I would visit it later. I went about my day. Later in

the afternoon I was checking my voice messages. There was a message from the minister

who had married my daughter thirteen years ago. Out of the blue he said, “something

came into my mind to call and check on you and her and see how things are going?” He

had no idea she had died four years ago, at such a young age.

I shared it was because of toxic alcohol poisoning. I went on to share a lot of my pain I

was going through and especially my anger at a certain person. He listened to me and

shared his perspective from a higher level of understanding.

First he shared this, “Our time here on earth is our testing ground. When we leave our

time spent on earth - we go back home, where we came from.”

As I sat on my phone listening to his words, I realized as much information as I have

gleamed about love, and forgiveness and truth. It all goes right out the window when my

own pride, arrogance and stubbornness try to take center stage. It’s easy to find ways to

rationalize and be angry and STAY STUCK in my own little life story. Now I don’t believe

the Polly Anna approach to life is for everyone we touch. I know there are some people

who are out there on this earth that are defiant. They are determined to live in darkness

and find diabolical ways of justifying their lifestyle. They do not want to believe in Jesus

Christ and they want to remain OF THE WORLD. This is for them. Each and every person

has been given “Free Will” and we must choose. So this is what give me my character and

my integrity to see it through.

Do I choose light or dark each day I am alive?

I believe God sends us angels. He sends us people who are divinely connected to the

spirit world and bring us help IF we are open to this help.

My phone rang with a message from this minister out of the blue. This is a day when I was

“really stuck” trying to find a way to repair a relationship that will be important to my life

going forward. I had to find a way to repair this. It was really eating me up. Anyone can

read this and say; “Oh, that was just a coincidence”. I believe when we open our heart to

help from above - God sends in his angels directly to us through others. There are people

of God walking this earth today.

I finished my conversation with the minister and he reminded me of all the things I had to

experience in my life, how important it was for me to “take the high road”. Never judge

another human being. For but the grace of God, we do not know their pain and affliction.

Nor do we know what they are going through in their private life. We can pray for this

person. Pray they can find a way to inner peace with Jesus Christ.

The minister reminded me no matter what I am going through, I have to get back up and

start over with my faith, fortitude and stay fixed on the knowledge that at the end of the

day what matters is between me and God. Other people who appear to keep me stuck

are only my tests along the way. Don’t stay stuck. get back up and see them as not a

road-block, but a “golden door of opportunity”,

I relished each minute of our conversation. I thanked him for his call and I looked up, I

looked up into the sky, knowing this was not a “coincidental call” but definitely orchestrated

by God. I said a little prayer and did the right thing. I used my words kindly to resolve a

delicate, angry seething situation. Amazingly, my text reflected love and I was able to

overcome my anger in unprotected moments. God healed a heavy sad situation by

sending me “help” in a personal, profound, peaceful way. I accepted this.

Can I find the words to stay unstuck today?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Stay Alive” Blog #179

What does it take for me to find courage now?

Is my body and mind balanced with the Holy Spirit?

Am I internally spiritually alive today?

It is so important for me to decide to be “in the world” and not “of the world”. What ever

does this mean anyway? This is very important to remember, “I should be able to interact

with friends and neighbors (the world) but they shall be distinct. Often having different

priorities and standards than I have I ask that I am kept clean and away from darkness,

evil and temptation.”

I know a lot of people can’t stand to talk about religion or have religion preached to them

or “told to go to church”. I for one, feel this to be a very personal decision. I believe the

whole of my being has been changed radically from where I was before horrible tragedy

came into my life, to where I am now. My blog continues to speak HIS truth in every way

possible to send out opportunities for spiritual growth which continue to happen to me.

Thoughts shared today based on the subject of this Friday Blog, must incorporate

“spiritual truths in order to state how I have stayed alive” in a healthy, spiritual, honest

way.

When I decided to let the Spirit of Truth come into my being, I immediately felt guided into

truth by the Holy Spirit. By my living in this relationship, I agree not to worry on my behalf

for things that I have no control over. (other people, other events, other outcomes) Finally

figuring out that I cannot live a fulfilled and purposeful and honest life without Jesus

Christ in my heart every minute of every day.

So the hardest thing to do is trust. It is really hard to have a willingness to let go of my

desire to “completely be in control of my life”. After all, I rationalized “Don’t I know Best? The

ironic twist to this is that we are given “FREE WILL” from the time we are born. We are given

complete free will to live our life the way we want to, period. I must say at this juncture if I

were to give in to my own Free Will, I would lose all perspective on forgiveness, judgement

and humility. I would definitely be a person who is “of the world and all its

trappings”,completely giving into my Lower Self Nature.

So the very first thing I have to pray for is the “ability to discern to surrender. When I

surrender all kinds of feelings come forward starting with FEAR. PAIN and SADNESS. But

now I understand that these feelings have to come out before I can TRUST in Jesus to take

over and that is where and WHY I make the decision to surrender. All of this happens in the

privacy of my prayer in the morning and any time through out the day. I have begun my

own personal, private and positive relationship with the only one who counts, a

relationship with my Lord and I accept all that comes with it.

In order to really feel alive and well and at peace, all of the above must be agreed by me,

to take place. The one truth that gets me going in the morning is knowing I am not the

same person I was yesterday! I have made terrible mistakes and choices I regret in my

past. But I am not tied down by my past, because the Grace of God has freed me from

any and all guilt. So this is where I can trust myself once again. Then I quietly fold my

hands and pray for inner strength to see this moment through. I take a deep breath and

feel myself fill with peace.

Only HE WALKS BY MY SIDE.

I AM FILLED WITH TRUTH. I Stay Alive in HIS radiant light totally surrounding my being.

Can I find courage to STAY ALIVE with Jesus at my side now?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Detach Now!” Blog #178

Why do I feel stuck or trapped in any way now?

How am I responsible for my choices today?

Can I detach from dark happenings around me?

First of all I need to know the definition of detachment: The action or process of

separation. The state of being where an individual is free from material and emotional

attachments. This state of being is essential for spiritual progress and enlightenment.

wisdom lib.org.

I think, feel and know that detachment is one of the hardest things in life to do. It surely

does not come easy for me. Every day regardless of what I have learned, I need to remind

myself to detach from a sticky situation. However, when I decided I wanted to have inner

peace, a feeling of wholeness and stop worrying all the time, trying to detach was harder

than I realized. Still, I saw detachment as essential.

The first time I remember needing to detach was from my father. I look back and see me

as a child in my alcoholic father’s life. In my world, he had never “not been drinking”. I

thought in my young life that If I did enough things to please him around the house and

get good grades and be the best “little girl I could be”, that would work. Then as I grew

older, I did outrageous things to make him stop - I ran away from our family home and

went and lived with my grandpa. I stopped talking to him, but that only made me feel

more guilty for leaving. Feelings and emotions and misplaced love can be very dangerous

when a person does not know “higher self truth” for self.

There is no possible way, I see this clearly now, I CAN NEVER CHANGE ANOTHER SOUL. NO

OTHER PERSON CAN BE CHANGED UNTIL THEY WANT TO BRING CHANGE.

Herein lies the definition of Insanity:

KEEP DOING THE SAME THINGS AND THE SAME THINGS WILL HAPPEN.

I realized that even though my Dad died of his dark drinking and alcoholism, I had not

been set free. I was attached to the dark feelings of “needing to fix another person”. This

is not my job. This will never be my job. This can only keep me stuck in life. One night after

deep earnest prayer, I prayed in earnest, “Please Jesus help me see clearly now”. After

that night and prayer, I was finally able to see things more clearly..

I had gone from my fathers dark addictive drinking and trying to fix him then seeing him

die. I had left family dysfunction, only to replace my father with my next boyfriend who had

terrible drinking problems, treated me indifferently and made me feel “alone again”. I

realized my life had become unmanageable. I couldn’t make my boyfriend, or any person

for that matter, do anything other than WHAT THEY WANTED TO DO IN THEIR LIFE. So…..I asked

myself, “what is it that I want in my life now?” My prayer was heard.

My life started changing right away. The very next day I told my boyfriend to leave. I was

done with that kind of life. In my heart I had to set him free and be okay with my being all

alone for awhile. I knew I could do that, I just had to believe it and trust in Jesus Christ

who was right by my side. Once I realized I could not fix, or heal or make any other person

different from who they were - I felt a freedom that was healing. My life kept changing for

the better. Later, I met a wonderful man who was very capable and independent and

good. He had a great job, a healthy attitude towards life and he did not abuse any part of

his life. Most of all he had a deep faith in God and developed a beautiful love for me.

Detachment is a gift from God. Learning to detach from unhealthy people is not

something to be rationalized. If I am around a person and I know in my heart their “lifestyle

is not for me”. I have only one choice, I must choose to leave. This is my essential truth.

When I detach I am set free.

Every day now I pray for Discipline, Discernment and Detachment in all parts of my life.

Do I want to detach from a dark situation now?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Can’t Do Today?” Blog #177

What is the hardest thing I have to accomplish today?

Will my mind let me overcome set-backs I have In front of me?

How do I get through today when I scream inside, “I can’t”?

“Often it’s not what’s ahead of me that scares me, it’s what’s inside keeps me stuck.” The

other day I had the opportunity to listen to a fascinating true account of a young girl age

13 and her horrific escape from North Korea, not that long ago. This girl has written her true

memoir in her book called “In Order to Live”, by Yeonmi Park.

When Yeonmi was a small child her mother told her something she must never forget, “the

most dangerous thing in your body Yeonmi, is your tongue”. Why did her mother tell her

this? They lived in North Korea where no one says I love you to another person. The only

person revered above all else is the leader of their country.

In North Korea, electricity, delicious food and fun are seldom heard of. It was very common

to see malnourished bodies of poor North Korean’s laying in the street dying and feasted

on by rats. Yeonmi Park and her family were not strangers to cruel reality. Where they

lived was near the border of China but one of the coldest parts of North Korea. Her town

went for months without running water. This made winters particularly more brutal. When

Yeonmi’s father became ill, she knew she and her mother were to be sold into the “sex

slave business”. Because Yeonmi was a virgin she brought the most money. She was sold

for 275.00 and her mother was sold for 60.00. Then they were both sent to China. Just

when one thinks she could not have it any worse, you turn the page. Page after page, one

finds the pain and inhumane suffering beyond belief. Somehow Yeonmi finds her way with

each disastrous day, to plan again. Both Yeonmi and her mother think this journey to

China will still be better than where they had come from.

Yet suddenly, Yeonmi has to witness her own mothers rape by a Chinese broker right in

front of her eyes. Eventually they find each other in China after being separated and both

Yeonmi and her mother travel through the Gobi Desert to Mongolia to seek asylum with the

South Korean diplomats. This is where the story becomes nothing short of a thriller.

Again and again, as one reads each page the thought occurs, “Can’t do today?” It’s as if

you hear Yeonmi state she cannot take it anymore but her drive to “keep going” is the

miracle of the human spirit ignited by Jesus Christ. This keeps each page turning. The

sheer inner will of this thirteen year old girl gives any one person an example of courage,

determination and drive that takes her through her darkest hour and keeps her from giving

up. In Yeonmi one sees the resolve to survive no matter what. The will to overcome

adversity, regardless. There was the harsh reality that even though she and her mother

had made it over the border with brokers that guaranteed their freedom, they learned that

life would not be easy because the brokers who helped them were part of a chain of

human traffickers, who made money from selling North Korean women as brides to cruel

and physically abusive Chinese husbands with mental health problems!

Because Yeonmi Parks was only thirteen years old when she defected from North Korea,

she has been described as one of the most famous North Korean defectors in the entire

world”.

Eventually Yeonmi and her mother found their way into a Christian shelter headed up by

Chinese and South Korean Missionaries. She moved to South Korea and then to the United

States of America. She now resides in New York City. Yeonmi Park has become a Christian.

She states the following, “I attribute South Korea’s economic success to its adoption of

Christianity. I don’t know what the connection is, but South Korea became very blessed

when they embraced Christianity”. Wikipedia.

Can I do all today with Jesus Christ leading me on?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Where Is Help?” Blog #176

“Am I ready to “update my inner self” now?

What’s helped me mature this past week?

How do I control weak inner urges daily?

When I put my mind to “higher self attitudes”, I find a different inner purpose for living. So

what is that like?

A higher self attitude is believing I can focus on a positive thought right now.

I believe It is always in my power to choose good over evil. Remember how to spell evil

backwards? L I V E. Kind of ironic right? Probably my biggest area of wanting to grow

internally and mature is to admit to myself “I cannot lie to myself about anything”. I want

to definitely meet other people in my life “where they are NOW”. Once I am resigned to do

that - it’s amazing how much idle time, wanting to fix others and blame = falls by the

wayside.

When I pray for discipline, my prayers show me the way to help myself mature.

I want, need and must accept the bad in my life that has happened. This is how my

maturity starts to grow. I no longer wish for what is not. I accept what I have.

One of the most beautiful poems about maturing ever written is the following,

“IF”

by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you.

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

but make allowances for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired of waiting,

or being lied about, yet don’t deal in lies.

Or being hated and don’t give way to hating,

and yet don’t look too good or talk too wise;

If you can dream, and not make dreams your master;

If you can think and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster,

and treat those two imposters just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

and twisted by others to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to,

broken and stoop and build them up with worn out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

and risk it all on one turn of pitch and toss, and lose,

and start again at your beginning,

and never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew to serve you long after they are gone,

and so hold on when there is nothing in you,

Except the Will which say to all; “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings, but not lose your common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute “with sixty seconds” worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that is in it,

And which is more, you’ll be a Man my son!

This says It all about the way to live life day in and day out. I have chosen this because it

has such a powerful message to read and read again.

Can I find where my inner help of Jesus Christ is today?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Take Control” Blog #175

Does it matter what I think of myself?

Do I care about what I learn today?

What brings me into a peace-filled moment when derailed?

An interesting definition of Reputation and Character is this,

“Reputation is WHAT people think of me. Character is what Angels KNOW about me.”

Probably a good idea to think about; what happens to me with all the choices I am given

from the morning I wake up, to when I close my eyes at night and go to sleep? Do I

actually grow internally?

It was fascinating the other day to catch Elon Musk on the internet with his five year old son

“X”. The little boy was suppose to sit there quiet while his father was being interviewed. Yet,

this little boy stole the show. Out of the blue he stated, “When I am sad, that is when God

talks to me through the quiet.” He said, “I have to be honest and soft and that’s where love

fits in the best”. There was not a dry eye in the audience, including his dad, Elon Musk!

In the middle of my morning or any part of my day, when I get unrattled I am learning to

stop, take deep breaths and “feel Jesus’ presence inside me”. Here in the quiet, I decide to

make a decision ”not to compromise who I am” - it matters.

In Eugene O’Neils play, “More Stately Mansions”, there was a large segment of the play that

pointed to the dismal effect of a building that was being built - left unfinished. A

magazine writer who was talking about the play, used a great analogy about looking at

this apartment building and viewing a “life that never took on its potential, and went to

waste.” He went on to describe this, “when I was seventeen years old, I watched as a large

apartment building was being built across the street from where I lived. Sadly, within a

couple of months the Depression hit. The apartment building was beginning to take form

with six or seven stories to its shape and credit. There was brickwork rising at different

heights and windows carved out like the teeth in a Jack-o-lantern. Suddenly all work on

the apartment building came to a halt. No men came back to work on it. No money was

found to put the flooring into the vast cavity that stood empty. Every day the “newness”

was now turning into “oldness”, and so sadly, this happened without ever having been

really used. A few years later, the world began to move again and with this movement

came the wreckers. Nothing could be salvaged, not the windows that met at rectangles,

not the stone that framed the courtyard and not the blind foundation waiting unidentified

and uncorked inside the shell of a building that never was”. He went on to say, he always

felt wistful about all the potential, all the opportunity, all the quality that went to waste.

And so it is about each one of us. Inside, deep inside, we each have so much potential.

Each of us has quality and opportunity and the potential to do one thing regardless of the

age we are at. That one thing is to keep on “learning”. Each and every day it is my moral

obligation to continue to learn. I must learn as much as I can about “spiritual truth”.

Spiritual Truth comes to me through devotion, meditation and prayer to Jesus Christ.

These spiritual teachings transcend all material perceptions. They give me eternal

principles and this is where IF I feel derailed and come unglued, I can find peace. While I

continue to take one deep breath after another - I relax. While I ask Jesus to “Please come

into my life and help me this moment”, I am deep breathing and I feel HIS presence in the

complete total silence of the calm that embraces my every cell.

Can I “take control” of this moment and feel HIS Spiritual Truth now?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Right or Wrong?” Blog #174

What right choices do I make for myself today?

Is it right to keep in place the “Five Second Rule?”

Where do I go to avoid “wrong way thinking”?

Every single minute of the day gives me thoughts, right or wrong? Do I just let anything

float into my mind? How am I inputting the “Five Second Rule” in my life daily? If I am

sitting on my phone, or social media and a thought enters my brain to stop wasting time

with “media” and work on something productive in my life, the Five Second Rule tells me to

start now - NOT let the time go by. Then I GO DO IT NOW, I do not overthink the action or

ignore the 5 SECOND RULE. That’s how IT WORKS!! It is wrong NOT to have “TIME LIMITS” for

what I DO. DOING THE RIGHT THINGS, WILL SATISFY ME from going the wrong way. Daily

Discipline gives me “time limits”. This rule teaches the importance of using my time wisely

and productively. Discipline is how I avoid going in the wrong direction. I am still in school,

I am enrolled in the “School of Life” and it’s now.

A long time ago a famous person said this, “I was sad to finally be done with school

because I thought I would not be learning anything important any more…”

It doesn’t matter how old I am, whether I work or retired, or just figuring out my life. What

matters is what’s important to me today? Can I get excited about life and choose right

over wrong starting with my thinking? It does me no good to think about a sad past, it’s a

waste of time. The right way for me to think, feel and live is positive. BE in the now. Some

people believe when they come to a stop sign on the road, that is the only moment of the

day when they let their mind relax a moment and wait! Wait for the red light to turn to

green. Let’s put that red light In our mind now. Many people are just plain cheerful, others

look for reasons to go the wrong way. DISCIPLINE MY DAY. HOW I wake up every morning

tells me I want to feel like a little child, ready for adventure. Someone might say, but I have

health issues, money problems, people problems. Not ready to do this? Time waits for no

one, the clock is ticking. I can go from wrong to right in a breath. A red light helps me to

stop and turn myself in the right direction - green light - “GO FOR IT”. Regardless of my

age, I can plan out something positive for me to look forward to. I love a good meal alone

and a good book to read. How calming, how peaceful, how “right for the moment”. I want

to learn more each day, it is right for me to READ. Weekly I find two, maybe three good

books about totally different areas of life. There is always the Library to go to. One book

may be a autobiography of someone famous. Another book may be about current affairs,

or how to stay healthy in our world, another book will be spiritual by nature, soothing,

uplifting and easy to digest. It’s fun to keep three books going, who knows what I like?

Then there’s the food I eat, maybe today I try food from a different country. There is

Chinese, Japanese, Italian, Mexican and I decide once a week to treat myself to a special

dish. I may call someone on the phone to see how they are doing or go out to lunch. Yet, if

I am alone, I can make the “right decision to do any new thing. As long as I am alive I must

be headed down the right road. The other day I heard a most beautiful poem about life.

The poem talked about my fears, my worries and being alone with myself. It made total

sense. There is only one “right road” to travel.

FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND

by: Mary Stevenson

“One night I dreamed a dream,

As I was walking along the beach with my Lord,

across the dark skies flashed scenes from my life.

For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand

one belonging to me and one belonging to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,

I looked back at the footprints in the sand.

I noticed at many times along the path of my life,

especially at the very lowest and saddest times,

there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it,

“Lord you said once I decided to follow you,

you’d walk with me all the way.

But I noticed at the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,

there was only one set of footprints.

I don’t understand why when I needed you the most, You would leave me?”

HE whispered, “My precious child, I love you and will never leave you.

Never, ever during your trials and testing, when you saw only one set of footprints,

it was then that I carried you.”

Can I decide to go the right way today knowing HE is with me?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Empowered?” Blog #173

What brings energy into my life today?

Where am I stuck with no spiritual truth?

Can I deny feeling empty, and choose to empower myself?

Ever gone someplace or met someone or planned out an event, where in the end, it wound

up disappointing? Looking back I say to myself, “why was that?” What went wrong? Did I

pick the wrong person to get close to for friendship? Do I allow people around me to bring

me down? Do I DEMAND SELF RESPECT? I must remember in every situation I face, meet

that person at their level. Who are they?

First and foremost, I do not judge them. I must listen to what they say. If I feel uneasy

about the relationship or the encounter or the conversation, I listen to my heart now. If

there’s confusion or drama or disappointment in my relationship, what is it telling me?

When I meet someone in a kind manner, I expect the relationship to be “truthful to a fault”

and yet, understanding “never can I fix another human being”. With that being said,

walking away disappointed by results, I may need to take a break from a person. Pray for

the situation and take guidance listening to my heart. I cannot believe a person changes

or will turn out to be better just because I want that. All adults are in charge of themselves.

When I let go of holding on to “how I want another person to be”, my life becomes easier.

Perhaps there is a mate, a friend or a person close, who is just not happy with themself.

Take a look at this. Are they this way day in and day out? Very often if another person

seems angry, depressed and sad a lot, they seem to be content in this category and try to

find other people to bring down to their level! Don’t allow it.

There are so many kinds of people out there who just plain choose to be unhappy, period.

So I listen to my heart and see this is not about me. I need to remember this and move on.

Remembering the rules of who I want to engage with on a healthy level daily.

Comprehending what my guidelines for civility are always trying to remain calm. A mellow

life that is not too high and not too low. I want a life that does not thrive on other peoples

drama each and every day. I want friendships that empower me. When I walk away from

being with my friend or speaking to them on the phone, do I feel better about myself

because of our conversation? Each and every day I remind myself where my own

boundaries lie. I must adhere to working on my own higher self health daily. AS I THINK=

SO I AM. THEN others will feel my empowerment.

MORAL LAWS. SPIRITUAL TRUTH and MY OWN SELF RESPECT are keys to my feeling good.

When I believe I am the “TEMPLE OF GOD” I see “ME” as a miracle of God’s creation. Not one

thing, no one person, no one situation, can tear me down. So, if and when this begins to

happen, “just what am I to do?” I take ten deep breaths. I pray for instant help. Praying for

the person, and remembering cruel words to hurt and harm another, does not make

someone feel good about themself. It helps to also remember this. “A person holding

onto a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping it kills another person”. I believe all

people, all situations, all events come into my life to teach me.

I am insulated in the Armour of Jesus Christ. I send HIS light into every situation I

encounter and every person I meet. Then, I let go until they decide to come to me with a

kind, loving, apologetic heart. Here is where I am willing to start over. This is the basis for a

good, healthy relationship. The only way of earning my self respect. With this knowledge in

tow I feel HIS energy erupt inside me. Yet I am calm, safe and fully empowered.

Can I find the tools to empower myself today?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“My Power” Blog #172

Where within me can I find awareness of HIS truth?

Digging deeper within myself, can I find clarity of purpose?

Ten deep breaths in a row and do I calm myself to invite HIM in?

In my life today what shows me opportunities to thrive or do I just survive? I have higher

awareness internally. Yet, can I believe Jesus Christ is my light now?

So, what is truth?

The dictionary defines truth as “the property of being in accord with fact or reality”. Truth is

something that is objectively true, not subjectively, not a matter of personal opinion or

preference. In other words, TRUTH means the quality or state of being true to oneself. Truth

is absolutely not one persons idea, feeling or understanding of what he or she believes to

be truth. Truth is fact. So based on that premise I want to say I believe Jesus Christ is

truth. For Only HE can give me the understanding of where I need to find my power. If He

is in fact truth and I believe He gives me all my strength. Therein lies my power.

Interestingly enough, when I add in “Spiritual Truth” - I find this definition,

“Spiritual Truth encompasses fundamental realities of existence, moral law, and

divinity. Spiritual truth involves an inner exploration. It transcends material reality and

emphasizes universal principals through various artistic and philosophical

expressions, including personal and societal transformation.” This is amazing!

How much deeper does Spiritual Truth go rather than truth in and by itself? The reason I

bring this up is because I cannot possibly try to understand myself until I WANT to

understand Inner Truth. Always there is more to a definition and here it is. SPIRITUAL TRUTH

is my ANSWER. IMMEDIATELY this definition gives rise to and “Inner exploration of myself”. My

belief in “Moral Law” and “My Belief in Divinity”.

What is Moral Law? Absolute principle defining the criteria of “right actions” through Divine

Ordinance or Truth of Reason. “Divinity” is a divine ordinance which is a “covenant” or

promise between a person and God. The whole reason Jesus Christ came to earth was to

make it easier for people to SEE who God really is. Jesus is God. All he did was manifest

miracles one after another. Yet, because “human nature” is exactly that, human, people

looked at everything HE did as blasphemous. Why? Because they claimed their only god

was Caesar. Yet Caesar is long gone and not revered as Jesus Christ has become to

billions of people.

IF I can do one tiny thing today, I start by agreeing to an Inner exploration of myself. Life

can be simple. I want to comprehend Spiritual Truth. I believe in Jesus Christ. I believe

HE is shows me all I need each and every day to live HIS truth. The ten commandments

are my rule of thumb. “Do unto others as I would want done to me” is my Golden Rule. I

refuse to harbor anger, resentment or grudges anywhere in my being. As far as I can

see, I will continue to try to meet other people where they are at. So that being said, I

will not judge another soul. I resolve to be completely forgiving now. This TRUTH and

living this TRUTH is a very freeing feeling. I resolve to start now.

For herein lies the secret to finding my “Inner Power”.

Can I pray for guidance to find my spiritual truth now?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“My Safe Place?” Blog # 171

What if today were my last day on earth to live?

How can I see my life differently, where I am going?

Can I decide to fill my day with prayer, peace and purpose?

No matter where I go, no matter what I do or what I buy, it’s never enough. Nothing in this

secular, material, temporal world is ever enough to buy myself “Peace of Mind”. Many

times I have laid in bed at night after a great purchase. Perhaps it was a new home, a new

car, or a specific holiday I had planned for and was now over. At the end of the day, it is

the anticipation that sets the sail. Looking forward to something planned and not here yet.

Then it is all over. Nothing in the entire world is ever as someone wants it to be.

William Shakespeare once noted: “The brain is the souls fragile dwelling place”.

My character is who I am, It is the sum total of all my thoughts, feelings and emotions. So

in order for my soul to work right, I have to grow inside, emotionally and spiritually. If I get

stuck and my mind starts racing in the wrong direction, all kinds of negativity, isolation and

darkness enter in. I have to keep moving around the track of life in a positive manner. Just

imagine walking into a room that is totally dark, with a fowl smell in the room and dark

angry music plays all around me.

HOW DO I FEEL? Angry, unsettling thoughts cause “dis-ease”. Remember this daily!

Here in lies the challenge, NO one person knows what is happening tomorrow. Yesterday

was calm and easy going, not too difficult. Today is different! There may be challenges

around each corner I turn… NOW I must say to myself:

‘WHERE ARE MY TOOLS TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULTY AND HOW CAN I USE THEM?”

Years ago I asked my grandma, “how can I know when to do the right thing?” My grandma

smiled at me saying, “If you feel anxious, don’t do it. If you feel calm, the right decision is

now!” As long as I am alive I realize no other person has ALL the answers for me. It will

always be my decision in the end to decide. Other people give their input and either

contribute good or bad advice to what I must decide for myself. Grandma giving me

advice was a blessing in disguise. However, I need to pray daily for: Discipline, (to do the

right thing), Discernment (to know to do the right thing and Detachment. (to withdraw from

situations not good for me).

Another truth comes into play when seeking my “SaFe Place”. I must see my thoughts,

words and actions daily, in a positive manner. I MUST be focused on the good. If I am

focused on “past problems of yesterday” I am stuck in a rut and this is NOT SAFE FOR ME. I

need to go forward now. Getting to my Safe Place is looking at the thoughts keeping me

stuck. Dwelling in sadness from the past with regret is wrong. I now decide to laugh at the

absurdity of “why In the world” I allow myself to go to past situations of regret and FOR

WHAT? It’s time to dust myself off, give it a good laugh. I say good bye to old intrusive

memories enabling me NOT to forgive. I MUST DO THIS NOW. Above all I desire better

health, improved relationship with another and good behavior on my part. Am I truly

acting like a Christian? I cannot afford to forego a relationship which is NEGATIVE. This

affects my own health in a negative way! Sad, depressive, dark thoughts cause DIS - EASE.

Knowing, the only person affected, is ME! Internally, and all through my own body, I must let

it go. I forgive the other person who has hurt me and now I MOVE ON. What is my

barometer to do this?

Only one man. Jesus Christ. All HIS disciples, mass amounts of followers, friends, ALL

THESE PEOPLE TURNED ON HIM, FOR ALL THE GOOD HE DID.

Still Jesus said, Father forgive them for they know NOT what they do”

IF I REMEMBER ANYTHING FROM TODAY….I WILL USE THE ABOVE SENTENCE TO TAKE ME TO

MY “SAFE PLACE.“ NOW ALL IS WELL.

Can I look at anyone I am upset with and say the above?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Why Do I Live? Blog #170

Who can I turn to for help when I am so sad?

What can give me a feeling of peace right now?

Where can I go when I feel so lost in my thoughts?

I MUST believe this one truth. I am in this world, I am alive today, I am loved. Life is actually

very simple. It is the mind and the thinking and the racing thoughts that create chaos

inside me. WHEN I make myself go outside into the fresh air, all by myself, I realize and

accept and see peace IS all around me. Nature is calming.

I can choose to think any thought I wish to think right this minute.

Because of this, I CHOOSE FOR THE REST OF THIS DAY - HEALTHY, GOOD THOUGHTS.

I immediately interject the “Five Second Rule” of thinking. Look it up…

There is an old belief that '“CONSISTENCY IS KING”. What does this mean? This means that

what I think about, what I constantly think about, TAKES OVER ME! Therefore, I have to trick

my brain, constantly be aware and be on top of my game! There is no one else like me out

there. I have been born with unique talents, but it is my obligation and my responsibility

and my choice to choose - choose what?

WHAT DO I WANT OUT OF MY LIFE TODAY? I can think about anything right now……

So I give myself two examples of what I mean. At the end of these 2 examples I get to

choose who I want to embrace inside my own being. No one else can do this.

1. INSIDE MY “LOWER SELF ME”.

   THIS INNER SELF OF ME, A LOWER SELF NATURE, LOVES TO DWELL IN “LIES.” SO NO “SELF

   LOVE” AND ABOVE ALL “SELF DISCIPLINE” IS NOT SOMETHING I CHOOSE TO EMBRACE!

   THEREFORE MY “GOOD GOALS” ARE REPLACED WITH ALL MY HOSTILITIES. WHAT ARE THEY?

   PEOPLE AROUND ME, THE INTERNET, USING THINGS TO NUMB MY BRAIN, AND ABOVE ALL I

   DO NOT LIKE HEALTHY CHANGE. I CONSTANTLY MAKE EXCUSES FOR MYSELF AND PUT OFF

   FINDING MY OWN RELATIONSHIP WITH Jesus Christ. HERE COMES DARKNESS. IT CREEPS

   INTO MY LIFE IN SNEAKY WAYS THROUGH THE WRONG PEOPLE, THE INTERNET, BRAIN

   DIFUSERS AND MORE DARK CHOICES.

2. INSIDE MY “HIGHER SELF ME”

   I HAVE STOPPED LYING TO MYSELF, ABOUT ANYTHING I DO. I GIVE MY LIFE TO JESUS TODAY.

   I REALIZE I CAN’T DO IT ALONE. PRAYING EACH DAY, I FIND MY PURPOSE. I FIND MY POWER -

   I FIND PEACE! NOW I PLAN FOR MY LIFE EACH DAY I PRAY, EXERCISE, EAT HEALTHY, GOOD

   FOOD AND DRINK.

   I REFUSE TO ABUSE MY BODY; FOR “MY BODY IS THE TEMPLE OF GOD” WITH GOALS IN

   PLACE EACH DAY I HAVE A LIST. THIS LIST REPLACES SELF DOUBT. I READ SPIRITUAL TRUTHS.

   I WATCH UPLIFTING PODCASTS. I SEEK OUT HEALTHY FRIENDS WHO I RESPECT.

   I ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR MYSELF. I ADAPT TO CHANGING MY LIFE NOW.

   I WILL NOT LIE.

   I DO NOT LIE.

   I TELL ONLY TRUTH.

I ACCEPT THIS TRUTH: It is always in MY power to Choose GOOD.

The whole reason evil exists is to show us Goodness.

No one person evolves in evil.

I want to mature with constant inner changing to higher and higher levels of TRUTH.

I SEE now WHY I live. I live to DO THE RIGHT THING ,make healthy decisions AND LEARN

MY OWN LESSONS EACH DAY. I don't judge myself for decisions I have made in the past

because THE PAST IS GONE. I AM NOT A PRISONER TO PAST CHOICES. My decisions are

NOW based on INNER HIGHER SELF CHOICE. I heal my body TODAY! I live to be a

productive, prayerful, purposeful person. I WANT to help others in need. I can only do

this BY believing I have purpose. So I prepare. I prepare with A PLAN. I find a way and

start this day. I live to testify to the truth of Jesus Christ my Lord.

Can I find inner truth, and see why I live today?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Feel Safe?” Blog #169

Inside my thoughts, what are my “red light” issues?

What tools combat loneliness, depression and anxiety?

Where is my “safe place”, when all around me is chaos?

We are not superhuman. Life is hard. I cannot always resist the incredible pull of old

habits, old temptations and my old weaknesses. For my life to become stronger, better

and healthy, I need to work at it, change parts not working and have a concrete plan. Yet

the biggest part in all this, what inspires me? Above all, I realize the environment

surrounding me has a massive effect on me!

So at the beginning of each day I have to accept ONE important rule,

I need internal, daily uplifting CONSISTENCY.

The way to have happiness in my life is to believe I am loved. I believe I am loved just for

myself. I believe I am loved in spite of myself, past and present.

I NEED TO RELY ON THIS PREMISE.

Who is going to love me this way? ONLY Jesus Christ, unconditionally.

So today I am going to make a list of all my “Trigger Point Issues’. These are my red, yellow

and green light issues. What in the world is going to make a “red light issue”? It’s going to

be something or someone, past or present, that upsets me terribly and there is absolutely

nothing I can do about it! So on my list I put either a persons name, or the situation that

has caused me days, weeks, years of heart ache and I write in “red magic marker,” a big

red exclamation mark. Then I look at my list. I prefer to keep it at “ten” or under. Therefore I

can work my list better. I go on to anything or anyone or any situation and I mark it

“serious - red, take caution, yellow and Green is always Go, or a good relationship. The

yellow comes in to play when I see a person or something ahead of me or currently who I

am “not really comfortable with”. An example would be “a friend who likes to gossip and

tries to pull me into the loop”. A yellow mark may soon turn into red! Green mark is

“safety”. A green mark for a person, or situation or event is “SAFE ZONE”. Before I make up

my list for Trigger Point Issues”, I must have a short list in place for my own “Internal

Safety Support”. What does this list consist of? Before I rise each morning I make a mental

note to now pray to Jesus to protect me and my day. I pray for all those around me. I eat

a good breakfast and I stretch/exercise. Plan and “road map my day”

It’s nice to have a “mentor” in life. This is a person who one feels safe in reflecting their

habits. A mentor is a person who has good habits with good qualities. This mentor’s good

qualities reflect values I believe in and are important and positive for me. I might also note

a “green check mark” goes next to a person who I feel is totally and completely honest.

This person and I have mutual respect for each other. They have a sense of humor and

are fun. They are quick to be forgiving and filled with remorse if needed. Always this

person, who I value in my life, accepts responsibility for any contribution good or bad to

our friendship. I can always feel good sharing my thoughts and concerns and ideas with

this person. We all need at least ONE person in our life who has these qualities.

What’s interesting thus far, is I seemed to have developed a “three part plan” for myself. I

have an “Internal Safety Support” all set up for feeling safe. I have my prayer and

meditation and Jesus Christ in my heart. I have my external support system in place by

utilizing my “trigger Point Issues’ Plan. Then I have my “stress reducers” three part plan.

Breathing - Exercise - Healthy Eating. Here in lie the basis for my own good, health living

day in and day out. I must try very hard not to go into the “Red light area”. Therefore, I can

find peace and mindfulness a personal relationship with Jesus Christ my Lord.

How do I implement my tools to feel safe today?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Good Friday?” Blog #168

So many parts to being alive are really hard, right?

How do I manage another day with more stuff thrown at me?

Where is my internal “reset button” to help me find HIS truth?

Here we are at Good Friday, 2025 and so much has happened going into the end of April.

Already a third of the year behind us now. I look at the people in my own life who surround

me. So many different paths they are on and so many trials and tribulations they

encounter. Some have small annoyances, daily issues to deal with. Others around me

have real loss. They have lost loved ones close to them. Others have serious health issues

taking center stage. Still others have money and debt troubles eating up their day. These

are real life struggles.

So on this Friday, “Why IS this called Good Friday?”

For Christians all over the world - The name “Good Friday” has its roots in Middle English.

This is where “good” once meant holy or sacred. Historically, this day has been observed

by Christians as a solemn occasion of the crucifixion of Jesus Christ”. (orbcfamily.org)

Yet, my takeaway on Good Friday, goes much deeper. This was the last day a real man,

Jesus, lived. Prior to this day HE had spent the early part of his thirties with his disciples.

These carefully chosen disciples were his “fierce friends”. For more than three years they

traveled, spent all their time, and stayed with Jesus. These disciples watched as Jesus

filled their boats with fish overflowing. This, after days and nights of trying to catch fish,

they caught nothing on their own. The disciples attended a wedding with Jesus where he

turned barrels of water into the best wine anyone could drink. They saw Jesus open the

eyes to sight of a man born blind thirty eight years from his birth! The disciples watched in

amazement, a man possessed with demon spirits, shook violently and then was instantly

healed by Jesus! These same disciples saw men with leprosy, beg to be healed. Jesus

reached out his hand and touched them, they were whole and healthy. Then Jesus went

on to speak to five thousand people who gathered to listen to HIM. At the end of the day,

the disciples said there was no way to feed five thousand people out in the country with no

stores! Jesus saw a young boy nearby who had five loaves of bread and two fish. HE

thanked God for increasing this food to supply all the people there. At the end of their

meal, twelve baskets full of bread were left over! More unbelievable miracles were to be

performed. Jesus healed sick people on the verge of death. HE brought them back to life.

One of his last miracles was simply profound. Jesus had been away with his disciples to

another town. Someone came and said, his dearest friend, Lazarus was near death. By

the time Jesus got to Lazarus and his family, Lazarus had been dead for days! When Jesus

got to Lazarus tomb HE cried. The disciples saw how much he loved his friend who had

died. THEN Jesus told his disciples to roll away the stone to the cave. Jesus called out to

Lazarus to come out. Completely bandaged, Lazarus walked out of the cave alive and well

again! All this happened just days before Jesus died.

What kind of a man like this has any evil in him? Why would HE deserve to be nailed to a

cross and die? HE loved everyone. Jesus told his disciples and followers,

God is Love.

The Father and I are one.

SO Jesus IS GOD Almighty.

Watching all these miracles occur, still the disciples abandoned him and ran to hide in

their own homes! One of his closest disciples, Peter, went on to deny even knowing HIM

three times just before Jesus died on Good Friday. Thomas went on to “doubt” Jesus

would ever rise from the dead. The loving, wonderful supportive crowd that laid Palm

branches down for JESUS days before, now turned on HIM saying “crucify HIM, crucify HIM”

W H Y? Because they listened to lies. People were afraid of what they did not know or

understand. Leaders at that time felt it was far better to crucify “ONE MAN” who developed

a large following. Why kill thousands later, in a civil war who were followers of Jesus? So

Jesus was arrested. Hung on a cross to die. What? You might say, WHY didn’t HE save

himself? Jesus had to stay in human form to prove his humanity could overcome pain

and suffering for us. Then, rising from the dead, Jesus proved HE is God Almighty. No one

Found HIS body in the Tomb! An Angel remained to speak to Mary.

What does it take to truly make me a believer in Jesus?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Let it Go…!” Blog #167

Can’t stop thinking about all those things that hurt me?

So hard to leave it alone, because it wasn’t my fault?

Don’t even know how to “let it go” when there’s so much baggage?

Every day of our lives is made up of past joy or past pain. Everywhere we look back into the

cobwebs of our mind is fault or joy. There is no in between. There is no one that is able to

just satisfy our past with a statement, gift or action that can undo the past. So why do we

keep it so important in any part of our thinking?

The reason is simple. It’s easy. It’s easy to feel sorry for ourself. It’s easy to justify. It’s easy

to let our own mind take us up and over and out of the past by rationalizing a thousand

reasons why it could “never be any different”.

The strangest part to all our understanding of our own life is this: When someone close to

us is gone now, life takes on a different feel. Blame, resentment and worry toward other

people don’t just disappear. Intrusive thoughts invade our thinking, float around until

something happens.

I truly believe we ask to be born into the family we are given to learn valuable lessons.

Every single person has something to over come. Regardless of how much we may be

wounded in the family we come from, we walk away with powerful, painful growth - IF WE

ALLOW OURSELVES TO GROW. In the materialistic, secular, imperfect society we live in, inner

growth is difficult IF we choose to hang our hearts on “crutches”. What do I mean by

“crutches?” So often a person does not want to “feel any pain”. So ….. they take something

to stay numb to all of that pain. Where does it go?

Ironically, “inner pain does not leave until it is dealt with”. So that being said, what does

using a “crutch” do? It becomes a band aid! We only band aid the parts of our life that we

do not want to deal with NOW.

When we were young children living with our parents, they had an obligation to raise us

with love, support and in a safe home. However, so often many parents incite fear, not

courage. They instill guilt not confidence. They bring sadness not joy. That being said,

these in itself are “powerful lessons to learn from”. If we can “let go” the blame. IF we can

“let go” the guilt. (I should have done this or I should have done that.). None of it matters

when we decide to “Let it go”. Telling ourself we did the best job we could with the tools we

had at the time, and there is not more to add to it, period. This is a good place to bring in

my own “crutch” now. I have replaced all the outside superficial, day to day crutches that I

was leaning on. None of them ever worked anyway! Just knowing that instantly I can pray

for strength, courage and the ability to truly “let it all go” is a miraculous feeling of calm.

Jesus is here with me.

He tells me quietly but firmly; “I AM THE DOOR, KNOCK AND THE DOOR WILL OPEN”. I am at

peace.

Can I finally believe in Jesus and Let it all Go now…..”

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“I Forgive You” Blog #166

Why should it matter whether I forgive someone or not?

What emotional baggage do I carry, day in and day out?

Is it too late to forgive someone, even if they are gone?

There are so many things happening to us in life that truly appear to be unfair. No matter

how dire a situation may be, there is always an opportunity for forgiveness. I am going

share some true stories with you now.

On August 9, 1945 Nagasaki, Japan experienced an atom bomb that dropped on their city

at 11:00 in the morning. Over 73,800 men, women and children were instantly killed and

vaporized. Those that survived were horrifically burned. Takashi was a doctor who was

asked to give a memorial speech to all the people who were left. How could our God allow

such a devastating event to happen? How could this horror be justified? All the people

who were left there, stood in the midst of the rubble of their destroyed city, quietly listening.

They were limping, bandaged, grief stricken people waiting to hear his words. Wanting

words that could bring a sense of understanding how to reason truth out of all this

madness. Takashi said this, “Our city, our beautiful city, had to be sacrificed so millions of

people can now be saved. Through this sacrifice people all over the world and throughout

Japan are now free.”

When a person believes in God, it becomes necessary to look at the bigger picture.

Over and above personal pain, when we let go of the anger, the resentment and the

blame - peace comes quietly inside our being.

After the World Trade Center killings, thousands of people died needlessly on a beautiful,

sunny September 11th morning in New York City. The anger and the outrage and the

sadness that was left because terrorists chose to do this was unthinkable. One year later a

group called “Murdered Victims Families for Reconciliation” were contacted by the mother

of the alleged 20th hijacker, Zacharias Mousaoui (who has been held in solitary

confinement in Northern Virginia since the attacks). His mother had an unusual request for

the families. She wanted to meet some of the families of the victims and ask for their

forgiveness. A small group agreed to meet Madame al-Wafi in New York City in November

of 2002. The first person to walk down the hall to meet Madame al-Wafi was a mother

whose young son was killed in the World Trade Center. There was silence and then one

could hear a lot of sobbing. Finally both mothers came into the room where the others

had been waiting. Both mothers were crying very hard, yet both women had their arms

around each other. Suddenly, everyone in the room also began to cry. Madame al-Wafi

spent three hours sharing how the extremist group had given her mentally ill son a

purpose in life. One of the young men in the room said he wanted to send a message to

Zacharius Mousaoui in prison and say, ” you can hate me and hate my brother you killed in

the World Trade Center bombings, but I want you to know today, I loved your mother and

comforted her when she was crying.” This young man went on to share he believes there

is a spiritual supremacy above us all. He now refuses to buy into hatred, rather

agreeing to give himself permission to reconcile.

Lastly, I speak for myself. Remembering all the hatred and anger and sadness I carried

with me. There was a darkness, a heavy lead weight sitting on my shoulders after my own

mother was murdered by the drug addict. Such anger I had. However, it was not until l

prayed. I prayed for the courage to do the right thing. I was so tired of all the dark forces

consuming me. Then it all changed. I got permission from the head of the state hospital

where this man was incarcerated, for me to come there. I then asked the guards to please

let me see him briefly. When he was brought into the room, I looked into his eyes speaking

quietly I said, “I forgive you, I forgive you for what you did and I don’t hate you any

longer”. As I walked out of the institution, I suddenly felt a remarkable feeling of lightness.

It was as if at that moment a huge weight I had been carrying on my shoulders, instantly

left. Taking a deep breath, I saw it was snowing. Beautiful white flakes of snow. Above all I

was at peace. I then remembered immediately Jesus, after being tortured and whipped

and stabbed, with a crown of thorns digging into his scalp. HE lifts his head to the heavens

above and speaks. “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Can I find forgiveness in my heart today for someone who needs it?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“The Closed Door” Blog #165

What if all could be different and I felt really good today?

Why haven’t a variety of things I tried taken away my darkness?

When will I finally be able to say I am completely at peace?

Lent is about suffering, so I share a part of my suffering now. I remember the sunniest day

there could ever be created and not a cloud in the sky. Everything was perfect around me.

But that day, my day was not perfect! My morning filled with horror, confusion and utter

devastation. For this morning I had to deal with my mothers murder the day before. How

could that be? My dedicated, beautiful, loving mother, who only cared about “fixing her

family”. All she ever lived for was her children, husband and working, and working and

more working. Hoping beyond hope, all could turn out differently. But now she had met

the end. She was no more.

She lost her life to a person taking thirty four dollars in her purse, then killing her. Why?

Because he was in a drugged state of mind, an addict who knew no better. She is dead

because of that. Now years upon years later, he also is dead.

However, here am I looking back, remembering it all. The crystal clear picture and how it

all took place. I remember the sobering, scary, unreal feeling of just wanting to run away

and hide. Get away from it all. Drinking as many vodka tonics as I could, and asking over

and over again, “why did this have to happen?” Then weeks and months and years

later….the inner suffering, the denial, feeling there was but a shell left of the real me. Most of

all the unhinged, inescapable reality of what lie ahead of me now. Yet, somehow

regardless of how bad things get and how much is thrown at us, most of us try to come

back. So I kept on moving forward with whatever it would take. More and more drinks,

more random people to confide in, and more places to run to until it didn’t work anymore..

Until I sensed inside me, there is no escaping self. Until finally everything got too confusing

and nothing working. Above all, so much loneliness. So alone. Looking and searching and

finding more of the same. The same artificial stimulants that were “never really my friend”.

Never REALLY there for me when I awoke each morning, so many more feelings of isolated

loneliness.. SILENTLY, SCREAMING SO LOUD I WAS SURE OTHERS COULD HERE ME ……PLEADING….

CRYING…“WHY ME? WHY DID ALL THIS TRAGEDY HAPPEN TO ME?” WHAT DID I DO THAT WAS SO

WRONG? Waiting and Waiting, yet nothing but complete silence.

As I look back today, I see very clearly it was in the midst of my utter darkness. Trying

desperately to quiet my mind, so tired of listening to rambling words of nought. I

rationalized better to be In a complete void of nothingness. Not really believing and not

really “not wanting to not believe”, that’s when it happened.

EVERYTHING CHANGED IN A BREATH.

My indifference, my anger, my workaholic behavior, all gone. Trying with all my might to

stay in my own “silly game” if you will. Convinced I knew what was best for me because

after all, I had been through Hell and back and was still here wasn’t I? So I had earned the

right to fill up my life with all this mundane, superficial secular “stuff”.

At the end of the day, life never works the way we want it to. We can never run away. I

could never really run away from myself. There was no where to go. My filled up, full of

garbage, feeding-frenzied mind would not leave me alone for a minute!

SO THEREIN LIES THE RUB.

I had to give in. Had to accept there was “One more door” I could possibly go through.

Desperately praying for peace, could I try one more time?

We are only as sick as our secrets.

I could try and it was as simple as that. Quietly a butterfly lands near by….no noise, but

beautifully noticeable. Then a subtle soft breeze touches my face, so cooling at the end of

my blistering sun scorched day. Hot tears roll down cheeks that instantly feel a peace, and

a promise. Suddenly I witness a rainbow out of nowhere paints the sky in vibrant pinks and

purples and gold. I quietly hear HIS words inside my head as Jesus softly speaks.

“Knock and the door will open”. “I AM the Door”

Can I believe HE is the door, healing my life now?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Health Addict?” Blog #164

How do I look at my own health in what I think, eat and do?

Can I remove limits especially on my attitude toward myself?

Will I remember “I only have 24 hours in this day” to do it right?

Currently, there are places in the U.S. and the world where people live long, healthy and

happy lives. This is a choice each one of us have daily.

EACH OF US CAN CHOOSE TO THINK, EAT AND LIVE A WHOLESOME, GOOD, LOVING LIFE.

People who strives to think, eat and live healthy are content, disciplined and happy. I

KNOW I need prayer in my own life to heal my spirit. Therefore I pray daily. I UNDERSTAND I

must let go of my anger, resentment and fear. I forgive others who have hurt me.

Instantly, I am healing my mind. All my thoughts are now centered on GOODNESS. The

food part always remains hard. There are a myriad of temptations out there and

rationalizing and justifying “why I can or can’t eat this food” is frustrating to say the least.

So…that being said I settle on this. The food I put into my body MUST be healthy. So I forego

those candy bars, avoid soda beverages and greasy, fried, foods. Desserts are rare. I eat

a variety of homemade soups and lots of salads with fresh greens, avocado, hard boiled

“free range eggs”, and tomatoes. I also eat fish and all kinds of vegetables and brown rice.

Always realize needing fiber and protein for my energy daily, so more grains and legumes.

I love all kinds of potatoes, nuts and sun flower seeds especially. (No peanuts) I enjoy

tangerines, apples, bananas and oranges. Cauliflower crusted veg. pizzas, bean burritos

and hummus and pita chips. A wonderful probiotic drink: “Kombucha” comes in many

flavors. I love pomegranate. This offers lots of variety to stay strong and healthy daily. So

one might say, B O R I N G! How can someone NOT have junk food and a few drinks to relax

each day? I say this…. Discipline is just that. WE ARE WHAT WE EAT DAILY. EXERCISE

BLOWS AWAY STRESS.

Did you know this? Thousands of the most notorious chemicals in food are now largely

banned in Europe? The European Environmental Bureau (EEB) welcomed this move!

these laws banned chemicals from foods that cause cancer. They found that 12,000

chemicals they banned DO cause cancer!

Their main food additives were found to be in bread, baked goods and candy are STILL

found to be in the food in the United States of America. Especially because 99% of the

food additives we put in our food here, are NOT evaluated before they are put into the

products. (Food Safety” by Becky Upham 3/6/2025.) We now live in a day and age where

each one of us, MUST be responsible for finding out what is good and not good that we

decide to put into our bodies daily! I use to get terrible heartburn when I ate sweet donuts

and sweet breads. Instead of buying “heartburn medicines”, I decided to just cut these

foods out of my diet - GUESS WHAT? The heartburn disappeared!

Why not be a Health Addict when it comes to eating, living an thinking holistically daily? I

refuse to think or feel or act in an angry way - I start now for 24 hours.

In a few simple words, I cannot convince another person to stop what they are doing. To

think a different way or even to start eating different foods. I can only share, share what

works for me and what did not. I do not eat any meat. I believe, there are far too many

carcinogens in meat, so I avoid meat completely. I don’t drink milk. There great

alternatives (oak milk, rice dream, etc.). I stay away from processed and dyed foods trying

to remember that every piece of food that goes into my body, must go somewhere and

how and when does it come out? I DO NOT SMOKE OR DRINK ALCOHOL.

When I pray, I talk to God, and when I meditate (sit in silence) I become a good listener.

When I put healthy food in my body, I relax. Eating good today, lasts through tomorrow.

Probably the best most credible way I have found to be addicted to a healthy life is this: I

must have balance in my day starting the moment I wake up, so I pray. I pray for

discipline, detachment and discernment. HE helps me bring in the balance now. Then

my day begins and I must choose wisely….. Do I get diverted because of another

persons lower thinking or do I stay on course for my “highest good” ?

I know this - my good health depends only “on my own choices”. Hopefully now, I am

ready to listen and see what it takes to live a healthy life. A life that will change me in a

positive, peace-filled, profound way. There is nothing but good to come from this!

Can I make that decision now to be addicted only to God and Good Health?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Sick Noise?” Blog #163

DO I have courage to start today in complete silence and prayer?

CAN I meet people “where they are at” and give help if they ask?

IS noise around me clouding my thinking and blocking out truth?

Everything in my life is a noisy test to see “which road” I will go down today. When I woke

up this morning I knew immediately, today IS the ninth day of Lent. God, it is hard….how in

the world did HE do it for forty days and nights….no food? Right away the noise from my

thoughts and feelings and fears creep in. Should I quick get up and ignore the need to

pray first? Discipline wins out today!

Last week I made a promise to myself what to give up and said I would try to keep it. Very

hard at first, but one never knows how weak one is until trying to be very strong. Now each

day I get stronger. I feel more disciplined. I feel better about me. I am far from perfect, so

when I start to give in, I think of the “5 Second Rule”. The simple science in this rule is this,

the less time I give my brain to think about “what I am giving up”, the better. I quickly go do

something else that needs my attention. I start over. I can apply this rule to anything in

my life that bothers me; that I want to STOP. It’s amazing how my Guardian Angel nudges

me when I forget. It’s very interesting in the way people around me view Lent. For the most

part, they DON’T. People actually rationalizing this way, “Well, I’m just not into it…”. Let me

remind you, God is greater, stronger and wiser than any of us. When HE needs my

attention, W H A M….. something will happen quickly. I promise you this.

We are not meant to be on earth to JUST THINK ABOUT OUR OWN NEEDS AND WANTS AND

WORRIES. I have found this to be extremely self-serving, isolating and lonely! Vicious

circles of old past memories, try to hold me down, sabotage me, I say good bye to this old

garbage. The constant noise crisis around me is difficult to say the least. Where isn’t there

noise? Besides, the older one gets, the more settled in certain routines one becomes.

Some good, some bad. None easy to disrupt. Constant thought, noise, worries spinning

around inside my head are not easy to silence. Where and when and how to turn off the

sick noise and INVITE HIM IN?

I am reading a fascinating book during Lent called “The Screwtape Letters”, written by C.

S. Lewis. The book is captivating for the most part because of the plot. This story is all

about the Devil named Screwtape, and his young nephew, Wormwood. He instructs his

nephew to take a deliberate role in a mans Christian life and faith by sabotaging his

beliefs. With his nephew Wormwoods help, they persist in ushering him into going to Hell.

The greatest weapon “Screwtape”, aka Satan, possesses is, NOISE, noise inside a persons

head. Screwtape has a myriad of other weapons he instructs Wormwood to use carefully

as well. Screwtape calls the young, Christian man, “the patient”. Then in thirty one sinister

letters to Wormwood, Screwtape shows his diabolical face and severe attempts to

persuade and bring this Christian man down. Screwtape tells Wormwood to use every

trick imaginable. The book is a fascinating read because the main character Screwtape,

portrays so many of Satan’s subtle ways leading well in to today.

In Letter XII, Screwtape remarks: “……the safest road to hell is the gradual one - the gentle

slope, soft underfoot without sudden turns, without milestones…”. Screwtape gives

Wormwood very effective strategies for tempting a human life from the view point of an

experienced Devil. Finally the most genuinely thought provoking part of this entire read,

concerns not just the book but its author. The author has so much credibility and has

written too many famous books to note here. However, C. S. Lewis was a brilliant educated

British man BUT a complete Agnostic, until….

Living in a permissive, noisy, secular society, life becomes all about me. I Look around.

When something catastrophic happens, one attempt to search internally. Are words of

mine healing or hurtful? Those who read my words on this Blog site are obviously looking

for deeper meaning to life. I only share what I have learned coming from horrific pain,

sadness and complete loss. Where there is no self-denial there is no VIRTUE.

Secular noise is a dark distraction. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t know Jesus.

Can I pray for courage to take part in Lent today?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

"Guarded Words?” Blog #162

What good words do I tell myself this morning when I wake up?

Is my day unfolding with powerful affirmations inside myself?

Do I lash out at others, or hold my temper, guarding my words carefully?

I write my Blog today at the the beginning of Lent. Today is Ash Wednesday. Now for the

next 40 days and 40 nights a disciplined man named Jesus went out into the desert and

fasted, prayed and learned about HIMSELF overcoming darkness. HE knew what was

ahead of HIM. Having to prepare himself, while suffering before death, HE could not use

any of HIS divine powers. So the 40 days were critical to Jesus discipline. For what was in

store for him was horrifying, to say the least.

All through the years, I have felt it was “just enough” if I gave up candy and sweets. After

all, there has to be something fun to eat, to look forward to each day - right? Well, I am

realizing that type of sacrifice for me is just not enough IF I really want to grow internally,

learn about myself and understand the importance of discipline. I understand things

between our Lord and our self is private. I only share this one time on my Blog to help

anyone out there who may want to see my sample routine. So starting this Lent I give up

things that are comforting habits each day.

What have I decided to give up?

Well, I love to wake up and have a warm blueberry muffin or toast or cranberry muffin or

bagel or donut to go with a large hot green tea with steamed oat milk. I will try to replace

this for the next 40 days with water. I will drink plain, purified water. I will also Fast on

Wednesday and on Friday.* (the exception b/c of my age - I will add fruit juices . Also add

a grapefruit, orange and an apple later in the day). I will limit my watch of television, being

on my phone, computer to I hour a day. I will pray in the morning and pray in the evening

before I go to bed to guard my words. I will take good care of my body, walking outside

exercise and affirmations daily. Now I understand 40 days and 40 nights is a long time

when it comes to radical change, so I will update on my Blog Weekly with complete

honesty.

I want to share the definition of ACCOUNTABILITY.

“ACCOUNTABILITY IS THE PROCESS OF TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY BEHAVIOR & FOR

THE IMPACT OF THAT BEHAVIOR ON SELF AND OTHERS. MAKING A COMMITMENT TO TELL

THE TRUTH ABOUT MYSELF TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY. THIS REQUIRES I SUPPLY THE FACTS

ABOUT WHAT I HAVE DONE, THOUGHT AND FELT IN ANY GIVEN SITUATION. I TAKE

RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY WORDS AND THE IMPACT ON OTHERS. I MAKE AMENDS, CORRECT

A WRONG AND TREAT MYSELF AND OTHERS WITH INTEGRITY, UNDERSTANDING AND

FORGIVENESS.”

It’s important to realize that “No man or no woman, knows how bad he or she is until one

has tried very hard to be good. A person does not know strength of evil temptation

inside the body until one tries very hard to fight it! Yet, when the body is weak and wants to

give in, Jesus knows what it takes to supply us in EVERY struggle. So how can we find out

how strong we are against the darkness until we really try?

I want to understand, know and feel more discipline in my own life, starting today. Then

God-willing, at the end of forty days and forty nights I can truly say I learned so much more

about myself without giving myself excuses not to try. How else can I ever have the

courage of my convictions unless I put myself to the TEST?

Once I put my words out there, into the atmosphere, everyone can read what I have

promised myself I will do. These words are important. My words are guarded and guided

and given to me to share today with the awareness anyone can have discipline over self.

It is just a matter of making the decision to do it and start today. Next week I will share my

struggling truth about fasting and giving up, what I am used to indulging on a Daily Basis

and how this affects my relationship with others.

Stay tuned ….each day with be interesting to say the least……

I pass the challenge on, what are YOU ready to give-up for Lent?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW

“Fear-Filled Me?” Blog # 161

What is the biggest thing I fear today….right now?

Am I scared of something I have no control over?

How can I let go of the things I fear the most?

There are really two kinds of people as far as I am concerned, who either look at fear as

something they can deal with or something that keeps them captured day and night. I

am one of those people in the first category. I think of myself as a realist. At the same

time, I understand there will always be things that can frighten me if I allow it. I am not a

fan of snakes or rodents. I am not one who goes for long walks at night in the dark alone

and I am never one to watch scary movies. Those things can be considered obvious.

However, I am talking more about the unseen, unspoken not talked about fear.

What kind of fear could I be suggesting? The fear that deals with toxic emotions. Fear of

failure. Fear of the unknown. Fear of someone else’s wrath. There are many other side

bars to this fear because it is runs deep. I also believe fear expresses itself in so many of

us with extreme anger. When I feel I cannot succeed at something, or someone has let me

down, or better still someone has created a wedge between us because of their actions,

all kinds of feelings swell inside of me.

My fear can turn to anger. My anger can turn to resentment. My resentment can cause

inner feelings of intense sadness. All these emotions are fear-based feelings of losing

control over my own decision making!

At this point - I have to STOP and ask myself the following questions. Am I looking at “what

happened” to bring fear into my life, with a healthy attitude? Am I discouraged by what

someone else has done, or said or acted toward me to give me the impression I can’t do

anything about this?

HERE IN LIES THE RUB. I AM IN COMPLETE CONTROL OF WHO I AM. I AM INTERNALLY AND

EXTERNALLY IN COMPLETE CONTROL OF HOW I THINK. NO OTHER PERSON CAN DISRUPT MY

INNER CALM OR MY HIGHER SELF IDEA OF WHO I AM. SO TRUTH IS TRUTH. WHO AM I?

I AM A CHILD OF GOD. Therefore I am protected, watched over and loved 24/7.

Someone once told me, “Be careful what you fear because fear multiplies”. I often

wondered what that meant? As I have grown older, I believe people can get more

paranoid, more fearful and more dependent on external forces around them. Why do I

say this? I say this because NO ONE SHOULD DEPEND ON ANYONE ELSE FIRST BEFORE Jesus

Christ OUR LORD. If I have a partner in life, he/or she should be my equal. No other person

has the right to control anyone else. We must remember the Golden Rule: “Do unto others

as you would have them do unto you”.

HAPPENINGS in my life day to day, can either uplift me or discourage me.

NO other place to cast blame, if my life is not bringing me peace of mind except INSIDE ME.

If I want peace and tranquility - I have to search inside me and ask ME “Do I feel calm or

restless? What am I doing to “face my fear head-on?” We all have methods of band

aiding our lives. Places to go internally and externally to avoid dealing with “the darkness”

However, the best answer for me all along regarding my fear - FACE IT HEAD ON. More

often than not, its like the big, bad “boogie man” of an illusion hiding under my bed - I just

jump out of my bed and quickly look under there with a flashlight…….and nothing there!

Why use this example? Because fear inside the mind knows what its initials stand for -

F E A R. FALSE EVENTS APPEARING REAL.

I do need to add my biggest Ally against “Fear” over all…….. Jesus Christ. If I think of fearful

things wallowing around in deep darkness. I KNOW TRUTH IS TRUTH. Jesus Christ is the

light of the world. The moment my thoughts and beliefs and feelings focus on HIM….

darkness fades away. Jesus Christ walks with me, HE holds my hand and little by little my

faith takes over.

Can I face my fear head-on today with HIM by my side?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW