“Detach Now!” Blog #178
Why do I feel stuck or trapped in any way now?
How am I responsible for my choices today?
Can I detach from dark happenings around me?
First of all I need to know the definition of detachment: The action or process of
separation. The state of being where an individual is free from material and emotional
attachments. This state of being is essential for spiritual progress and enlightenment.
wisdom lib.org.
I think, feel and know that detachment is one of the hardest things in life to do. It surely
does not come easy for me. Every day regardless of what I have learned, I need to remind
myself to detach from a sticky situation. However, when I decided I wanted to have inner
peace, a feeling of wholeness and stop worrying all the time, trying to detach was harder
than I realized. Still, I saw detachment as essential.
The first time I remember needing to detach was from my father. I look back and see me
as a child in my alcoholic father’s life. In my world, he had never “not been drinking”. I
thought in my young life that If I did enough things to please him around the house and
get good grades and be the best “little girl I could be”, that would work. Then as I grew
older, I did outrageous things to make him stop - I ran away from our family home and
went and lived with my grandpa. I stopped talking to him, but that only made me feel
more guilty for leaving. Feelings and emotions and misplaced love can be very dangerous
when a person does not know “higher self truth” for self.
There is no possible way, I see this clearly now, I CAN NEVER CHANGE ANOTHER SOUL. NO
OTHER PERSON CAN BE CHANGED UNTIL THEY WANT TO BRING CHANGE.
Herein lies the definition of Insanity:
KEEP DOING THE SAME THINGS AND THE SAME THINGS WILL HAPPEN.
I realized that even though my Dad died of his dark drinking and alcoholism, I had not
been set free. I was attached to the dark feelings of “needing to fix another person”. This
is not my job. This will never be my job. This can only keep me stuck in life. One night after
deep earnest prayer, I prayed in earnest, “Please Jesus help me see clearly now”. After
that night and prayer, I was finally able to see things more clearly..
I had gone from my fathers dark addictive drinking and trying to fix him then seeing him
die. I had left family dysfunction, only to replace my father with my next boyfriend who had
terrible drinking problems, treated me indifferently and made me feel “alone again”. I
realized my life had become unmanageable. I couldn’t make my boyfriend, or any person
for that matter, do anything other than WHAT THEY WANTED TO DO IN THEIR LIFE. So…..I asked
myself, “what is it that I want in my life now?” My prayer was heard.
My life started changing right away. The very next day I told my boyfriend to leave. I was
done with that kind of life. In my heart I had to set him free and be okay with my being all
alone for awhile. I knew I could do that, I just had to believe it and trust in Jesus Christ
who was right by my side. Once I realized I could not fix, or heal or make any other person
different from who they were - I felt a freedom that was healing. My life kept changing for
the better. Later, I met a wonderful man who was very capable and independent and
good. He had a great job, a healthy attitude towards life and he did not abuse any part of
his life. Most of all he had a deep faith in God and developed a beautiful love for me.
Detachment is a gift from God. Learning to detach from unhealthy people is not
something to be rationalized. If I am around a person and I know in my heart their “lifestyle
is not for me”. I have only one choice, I must choose to leave. This is my essential truth.
When I detach I am set free.
Every day now I pray for Discipline, Discernment and Detachment in all parts of my life.
Do I want to detach from a dark situation now?
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