“Me and 2023” Blog #100
Millions of words written about how to “Fix my life”…. is there anything new?
Probably the most astounding words ever told to me is this:
‘LET IT GO, LET IT ALL GO AND KNOW THAT WITH FORGIVENESS, I AM BETTER NOW”.
If I can count to ten now and tell myself - “the old me is gone - here’s why?
I am going to erase the old movies of all my anger, resentment and fear and start a file in
my mind called the “Old sick file”. I can send everything there for another rainy day - but
I don’t go thru the file - I just keep adding to it…. watch what happens. No more getting
frustrated with others, because we are all on our own separate path learning and
struggling and moving along as we are suppose to. With no judgement of others - I can
focus on myself. However, here in lies the rub, IF there is a family member who needs
forgiving and i have not done this, it will NOT GO AWAY. Every single situation is in my life
as a “LIFE LEARNING LESSON’. Mine (and your) best WARNING LIGHTS ARE THESE - Anger -
frustration - resentment - judgement - fear - blame!!
“I now take full responsibility for what I have to do and then “LET GO of the REST”. IF I can
believe this now, I am changed in a positive way instantly! Now I will be consistent in my
positive behavior daily. (I always ask for HIS HELP.)
When I am carrying around all my “stuff”, all the dark memories, all the anger and all the
resentment, (things I feel happened unfairly), I am a broken person. Even a person who is
constantly rationalizing things, will admit to this:
There is nothing I can do about my past. I cannot bring it back. I cannot fix it. I can only
do one positive thing about it, LEARN FROM WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME.
The hardest thing to do is to find humility. My toughest thing to do, is to admit it. The
easiest part to all of this is to see the positive, the healing and the love! Every one of us
alive, want to be loved. We seek out love. We crave love. Yet, HOW do we go about
finding love, permanent, unconditional, true love? The greatest Love there is ….Lies right
here in the heart and soul and being of ME.
Jesus Christ knows my pain and absorbs it today. HE is listening and HE understands.
Yet, me….with my own “FREE WILL” I must INVITE HIM IN. It is now the end of this year.
I now promise a powerful vow: I LET GO. I let it all go. it’s filed safely away now. ALL THE
PAIN I HAVE INSIDE. ALL THE THINGS I CANNOT FIX. ALL MY SORROW. FILED AWAY.
Looking back, over just this past year, there has been tremendous challenge. Each of us
can admit to feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, ready to throw in the towel. There is no
place in this world where any little book has told us, ‘life will be easy’. Yet, it is in the details,
the tiny parts that suddenly give us courage to change,, the littlest, amazing light internally
goes on, and shows us the way. Who am I speaking to out there? You and me, and each
one of us. We all know who we are, we know what we have to do to change our behavior
in a positive manner. There is an itinerary of sorts that each of us have agreed to at an
unconscience level, before we even got here. We agreed to learn, we agreed to help
others and internally we should all want to grow, and learn and evolve. How to do this?
Remember the old saying, “the devils in the details?” We need to start today with one
thing we have been putting off. Maybe its a person closest and nearest and dear to our
heart. What can I do to “break the ice?” Tonight I can ask quietly. This is between myself
and God. Then I will know what I must do. There is not a single other person who can take
my mission from me - I cannot listen to anyone but HIM, who shows me the way. I CAN DO
THIS.
Finally - here is a short list of my NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS - this is mine, what’s yours?
I am posting this on my refrigerator so I can find the new highway to my better self.
I can read either the Old or New Testament - starting tomorrow
I now take each morning and pray - ending each night with prayerful meditation
I earnestly can find one person who I can inspire, daily or weekly (It starts with me)
Daily, I eat at least ONE complete healthy meal. Drinking 1/2 my body weight in water
I now find time to spend 30 minutes each day walking/exercizing
Driving, I Listen to uplifting, light filled, Christian Music
I can find a good healing book to read on a weekly basis
I will attend church/any church weekly even if it is “Online”
I dress nicely every day - especially if I stay at home
I search up something positive to look forward to every week/month
It’s amazing how powerful I feel when starting & ending my day with:
Protection Prayer: (Memorized)
“The light of God surrounds me
The love of God enfolds me
The power of God protects me
The presence of God watches over me
wherever I am, God is and all is well. Amen”
All of these ideas are amazingly helpful - for any person who decides to try…..
Do I make time now to sit down and create my Best Self for 2024?
God bless you in 2024!
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“Christmas: Why?” Blog #99
Is Christmas my excuse to just buy gifts for people around me?
Have I said before “get me this or get me that” for Christmas?
Do I cave in to commercialized displays because it’s Christmas?
One Solitary Life:
by: Dr. James Allan
1926
'“He was born in an obscure village. (Christmas Day) the child of a peasant woman. He
grew up in another village where he worked in a carpenter shop until he was thirty. Then
for three years he preached the word of God. He never wrote a book. He never held
office. He never had a family or owned a home. He never went to college. He never
visited a big city. He never traveled more than two hundred miles from the place where
he was born. He did none of the things usually associated with greatness. He had no
credentials but himself. Then when he was only thirty three years old, the tide of public
opinion turned against him. His friends left him, and one of them denied even knowing
him. He was turned over to his enemies and went through the mockery of a trial. He was
nailed to a cross between two thieves. While dying, his executioners gambled for his
clothing, the only property he had on earth. (Before he died he said, “Father forgive them,
for they know not what they do”.) When he was dead, he was laid in a borrowed tomb,
through the kindness of a friend. Now twenty two centuries have come and gone. Yet
today HE is the central figure of the human race and the leader of mankind’s progress. All
the armies that have ever marched, all the navies that have ever sailed, all the
Parliaments that have ever sat, all the Kings that ever reigned, all put together, have not
affected the life of mankind on earth, as much as this ONE SOLITARY MAN, Jesus Christ.
It’s crazy times out there today. Walk in any store, shop at any mall and wait in any line.
People are frenzied, preoccupied and tied down with troubles. So I try to visualize how
Christmas comes into play in my life right now. The chaos and the constant noise. The
shoppers and the “stuff for sale”. Everywhere I look there is pretense. Even at the donation
centers or charities. “Take your phone and scan the barcode for a person to donate to.”
Seriously, this sort of brings it all up a notch, especially when it says; “sorry, that group ls
filled”. How many of us now thinking, “I just want to get through the holidays and then it
will all be over.” How many times have I thought this and felt unnecessary pressure for
nought. The Jesus that I learned about as a child and read about as an adult, kind, loving,
good. Nothing to be afraid of! On the contrary, when he lived he healed anyone, that
came to see him as a “healer”. A young, God that came to earth only for us. All these
years of speculation and fear and pushing him away for no justifiable reason except
ignorance. Now we live in a world fraught with war. Crime and hatred are rampant.
Fights, and drugs and drinking. What kind of misplaced celebrating because it’s
Christmas? Probably the best news of all and it isn’t cheesy or corny.
Jesus is truly a best friend waiting, just waiting and ready to be there for you and me.
It’s Christmas. Almost everything and anything taking precedent over the real reason for
celebrating Christmas Day. Still, it can all change in a breath if we but so decide. It’s up to
each one of us.
Now is a good time to find a way to let my big wall down. I can take a moment and see a
family member through Jesus’ eyes. As busy as my day gets, I take time out for a quiet
prayer. I can try hard to believe today because this is truth and miracles are all around
me if I but open my eyes. Angels are disguised in people walking here now.
I, for one, am going to church this Christmas. I, for one, am going to seek out HIS peace.
I, for one, am going to respect what Jesus Christ did for me his whole life. From a little
baby to a child to a grown man. HE lived my pain, HE knows my pain, HE takes it away.
Wikipedia defines Christmas; “the annual festival celebrating Christ’s birth held on
December 25th. The exchanging of gifts is one of the core aspects of modern
Christmas and celebration, making it the most profitable time of year for retailers and
businesses throughout the world.”
A true irony is HE gives us authentic love in a simple, quiet, all encompassing way. I seem
to look for love in the material, busy, crazy living of each day. I do not need to be so afraid
to learn about him, seek him, and find him internally. It’s actually a great relief. It actually
feels like a giant weight has been taken from me. The weight of all my worry and stress
and fear. I want to believe this now. How to do it differently? This Christmas I am
determined to reflect, respect and rely on HIS BIRTH first. There is nothing to be afraid of
when all I am inviting in is pure, divine love.
Am I willing to celebrate the birthday of Jesus Christ in a way I feel HIS love?
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“The Big Lie“ Blog #98
Why should I be reading this, when there’s nothing out there?
How can I even help when all I see is trouble around me?
What shows me my life matters, when I think no one cares?
One of the most valuable lessons I have learned in life is that most important motto: “BE
THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE”. Believe it or not, each one of us causes change in the
world one day at a time. When we actively do good, this causes a ripple affect. One
might say, “Just me?” So start off, at school - If there is a lie perpetrated about one
student and it gets passed along over and over. What happens? It’s like the snowball that
starts out small and becomes an avalanche. A life can be destroyed by mean, decisive,
angry words! What is the purpose in this? No one person has the right to judge and
malign another human being. Today, In the spirit of Christmas, I might add, “Doing good
is the essence of Christmas”.
Again going back to school, a young girl wrote into a newspaper saying she didn’t believe
in Santa Claus because her friends told her so. Listen to what the editor of this trusted
New York newspaper wrote back:
“Virginia your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a
skeptical age. They don’t believe except what they see. They think nothing can be that is
not comprehended by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or
childrens’ are little. In this great universe of ours man is but an insect, an ant in his intellect
as compared with the boundless world around him, as measured by the intelligence
capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge. Yes, Virginia there is a Santa
Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist. You know that
they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! How dreary would be
the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginia’s.
There would be no child-life faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable our
existence. We would have no enjoyment except in sense and sight. The eternal light with
which childhood fills the world would be extinguished. Not believe in Santa Claus? You
might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all
the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you do not see Santa
Claus coming down the chimney, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but
that is no sign there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that
neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of
course not, but that’s no proof they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the
wonders that are unseen or unseeable in the world. You can tear apart a babies rattle
and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which
not the strongest man nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever
lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love and romance can push aside that curtain
and view the supernatural beauty and glory that is beyond. Is it real? Ah, Virginia, In all
the world there is nothing else more real and abiding. No Santa Claus? Thank God He
lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now Virginia, nay, 10 times 10,000 years from
now he will continue to make glad the hearts of childhood.”
Francis B. Church
Editor of the New York Sun
1897
I chose to include this letter that was written over one hundred and twenty five years ago.
Mostly because today its important to DO something positive, different and fulfilling. Stop
worrying about myself and BE all I can for myself! Life is not just about selfish desires and
having money and buying things. Life is to be lived in a full, loving, kind way. Remember
“evil” spelled backwards ? L I V E Jesus Lives.
To answer the first question at the beginning of this Blog, why should I be reading this
when there is nothing out there? Because every person in life needs to realize we are a
speck of dust in this giant universe. Just look up at the billions of stars in the sky! Nothing
out there? HE is out there and Jesus waits for you.
How can I even help when there is trouble ALL around me? As Mother Theresa said years
ago when she was interviewed by a reporter, ”you can help, one person at a time”. Finally,
“what shows me my life matters when I think, no one cares?” Maybe it’s time to stop
worrying about self and go out and do something for someone when they don’t even
know you are coming.
Can I let go of the lies around me and embrace HIS truth?
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“Be Still & Search” Blog #97
Everywhere I look, it’s in everything I do, all my thoughts I think - constant chaos?
No calm place to run to, no quiet moment inside/outside myself?
Why do I feel so content with all this noise around me?
A long time ago, actually in one lifetime, the television came into place. Now there is
social media technology consuming us. Any information I am looking for, I find in an
instant. So are times better? Facetime, messaging, calendar, sports apps, all abound.
Yet, am I going outside doing healthy things for for my mind and body? We live in an
extremely secular society. Confusion and chaos is everywhere. Churches are getting
emptier and emptier and people stay angry.
Is there a place i can go to find immediate peace, truth and love?
How many of us go to sleep every night with the sound of a television blaring in the
background? Or music streaming in through headphones? Now with information
immiedate on my phone, life is getting faster and faster to keep up with. Ironically, few
people are on their computers or their phones seeking a new understanding of how to
find calm ways to approach daily life. I might interject here, there is one app that is
amazing, “HALO“. I find it very calming and peaceful.
Young and old, people are addicted to phone apps. TikTok, Snap and Instagram. In many
ways, destroying their outlook on life. People who are parents are no less removed, finding
hours and hours of time away from their family in lieu of social media calling. Families are
living together in their homes, separately. Morals and ethics are out the window because
“this is just the way it is” - IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE.
A CHANGE OF HEART TAKES QUIET TIME OF INTROSPECTION, self-forgiveness and DECISION.
SOMEONE IS out there to turn things around and give each and every one of us a new
moral fiber to work with. This can happen in a breath. So I say quietly, “My heart beats, I
feel my breath, I am loved”. It’s right here inside each and every one of us. A heart change
is taking place.
No need to wait any longer. I sit still, close my eyes, take a deep breath accept calm. I
decide with baby steps to start searching INSIDE ME NOW. I SEE MYSELF AS a better person,
a better family member, a better friend, as I find my HIGHER SELF. When I am alone with
my thoughts before I fall asleep, I am at peace now. Someone once told me when I was
very young, “You know how to feel better about yourself? Go do something for
someone else when they least expect it.” Make them a card, tell them a funny story, help
them heal.
STOP THINKING ABOUT MY OWN SETBACKS AND SADNESS AND I REACH OUT TO ANOTHER.
Perhaps someone might say to me, well that doesn’t get me money does it? That doesn’t
fix my problems does it? That doesn’t bring me what I need right now! Yet, actually it
does. Reaching out, across the spiritual void to another human being brings instant
balance to me. This act of kindness heals dark energy. This is out there for everyone to
try….. find the movie: “IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE”. WATCH IT NOW.
Life takes on such a different flavor when I decide to see life with LOVE in my heart and for
someone else that really needs it! We all need LOVE. First and foremost, I must find the
love of Jesus Christ waiting in my heart for me. This is my own self love and this love gives
me a CHANGE OF HEART FOR FORGIVENESS FOR MYSELF. I feel needed. The best way to find
fulfillment is in Jesus Christ. HE is complete love. Then reach out to another human being
IN NEED. It’s an amazing feeling to just give this love away.
Millions and millions of people all over the world have had near-death experiences.
Although these people live in different countries throughout the world, they have shared
similar experiences that are profound! They all talked about how for the short time their
heart stopped, they were hovering above their body and could see everything but in such
peace. Then just before they were brought back from a “clinical death” they talked about
“realms of wonder”, experiencing the captivating love of God and a powerful presence of
such love. They did not want to leave! In one particular book, “Imagine the God of
Heaven” by John Burke, miracles abound.
Dr. Richard Eby who was a medical doctor and a surgeon, fell head first from a two story
building and cracked his skull open. Miaraculously he was revived after ten hours. During
his near death experience he said, “Jesus and I walked in heaven together, but it was
more like flying than walking”! We were talking while suspended in midair, communication
is so far superior than anything we can imagine down here. Space is also “limitless”.
These people live across the world from one another and have similar experiences with
the afterlife. In another excerpt this,
“……an airline pilot had a near death encounter. He was walking with his angels. He said
they were walking on this path and he saw birds and deer; trees of incredible size and
beauty all of it having this light of God coming out of it, and the angel took his arm saying
“James look, and across the grass trotted three of the most beautiful horses I’ve ever
seen, and the grass was lighting up under their feet as they trotted towards him”.
Story after story, so alike in nature, describing a world of such loving peace. There IS only
one way to find this calm feeling, here on earth, and that is in the quietness of self. Asking
and waiting and accepting HIM into my heart today. I can find time each day to be still
and search internally for the love of Jesus Christ, who waits for me now. Breathing deeply
in and out, I see how easily HE comes to me. IF I but ask for the light of Christ to surround
me now, heal me and engulf me. It is done. I AM now aware of who I am. I do not forget
this power inside of me.
Can I be still now and search for the light of Christ within me?
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“Forgive, Why?” Blog #96
So they hurt me, others have it coming if I don’t talk to them, right?
People turn on me, so do I just choose drama to get through it?
How do I discern to be the one to set things straight?
Forgiveness is actually LOVE at its very highest form. There is an invisible agreement when
we are little children and have parents who take care of us. What ever we do, what ever
we say, however we act, we are usually talked to and forgiven. After all, we are tiny little
people looking for answers in those who care for us, right? Parents should not hold
grudges for actions of their children, IF THERE IS A WAY FORWARD TO TEACH THEM. As
parents we are to teach..show and help earn to live life honestly. Sadly, not always true, I
can vouch for that. My parents were consumed with their own addictions and dark drama
and dysfunction. Yet, there are lessons abounding in that scenario as well. What is the
biggest one? FORGIVENESS!
I do believe I was put in my own family to learn powerful lessons on how to forgive. My
childhood was riddled with pain and anger and cruelty. I remember my brother trying so
hard in school, coming home with a B on a Science Test. My father was home in a drunken
rage and my brother walked in proudly to show his test to our father. My father grabbed
the test, scrambled it up and said; “get outta my sight, you no good kid, you can’t even get
an A on this test, you are worthless to me…!.” This is my brother who went down into our
cellar, burned the test and that ninth grade day told me; “I hate him, I will never forgive him
for what he does to us…, I’m done!” Watching, I looked on sadly with out saying a word as
my brother took a lighter and burned his science test to ashes. He started taking drugs,
more and more drugs and later died in an institution for killing someone. All because of
hatred, anger and unforgiveness. My father did not have a clue because he was so
wrapped up in his own addicted, sick world of dysfunction and drinking.
At this writing today, there is anger infesting the world everywhere. There is anger at home,
in our schools, in the work place and throughout the world.
So, what exactly is my role in all of this?
My role is to learn my lessons one at a time and have a forgiving heart. What if we were
handed a little “Life Guide Book” so to speak, when we are young. This guide book
emphasizes the importance of “learning from relationships”. Every single person will be in
different situations to learn valuable lessons from. If there is gossip, hatred, anger, this is
powerful stuff.
WHY are we given people situations to “learn lessons” from? Because this is how we grow
spiritually. A negative, nasty, gossipy person wins in their world. They follow no rules and
don’t care about consequences. More often then not, this person talks darkly about
another person, to cover up for their own darkness! So I think hard on this, why would I
want this person as my friend?
I believe we are alive for two reasons, to learn our lessons as we go through each day and
to help other people where and when and how ever we can. Of course, not all people who
come into our life, should stay in our life. We are all on separate journeys of growth. Some
people want to grow in every way they can. Others just stay stuck and pull those around
them down under too!
An important lesson to learn is I TRY NOT TO LISTEN TO GOSSIP ABOUT ANYBODY.
Gossip is dangerous. We are not meant to rip apart the character of others. We are, each
one of us, on our own journey. IF there is a situation with a friend and start terrible news
spreading - it is important to learn to “Discern” Pray on this and do not listen to others !
Most of the time the person spreading the gossip has huge forgiveness issues about
themself!
I will try to keep it simple and say, we are children of God and our bodies are the Temple of
God. So each of us must learn to FORGIVE ourself first for anything we have done that
holds a dark cloud over our head and inside our heart. Then look at the person spreading
gossip. Who really knows what is made up and what is truth vs. the lie? Someone once
said to me, “Oh yea? You have no idea what they did or what they said,…. why should I
forgive?” I say this, here is a discerning moment. First of all, IS this person meant to
continue on in my life?” IF so, I need to have peace NOT problems! Problems grow and
fester and build walls. IF I am to have clarity In my thinking and what I am to do. FlRST, I go
directly to the person that is being talked about and clear the air
I of course, prayed to have discernment. Discerning what is the right thing to do? How to
go about life with or without this person - Prayer will give me all my answers. Above all I
remember NOT to judge others. “there but for the grace of God, goI”
IF my anger lies with my teenage child, I owe it to the both of us to come together and talk
things over, give them my truth above all - for very soon they too, will go out into the world.
There are so many lost, angry sad teenagers struggling in this world. IF my anger lies with
any family member, I ask to be open to discussion, IF they remain close minded to truth, II
pray for them and move on. I can say this, because even in the family that raised me, I
look back and realize how final death is.
My father died without any forgiveness conversations between us. It was and has been
years of struggling with truth and forgiveness and seeing how easy it could have been,
had my father been open.
IF my anger lies with a friend, I go directly to the friend. NO need to listen to others ONLY my
friend WHO I am at odds with, we need to meet, have a discussion and I must decide to let
go, move on or continue a friendship. Gossip builds walls and destroys lives and no one
wins! WHO is the person that is gossiping and why is this happening? Where does
forgiving work into this situation? Lies grow and grow and grow. I must Find out the real
truth! I go forward and weed out my true friends.
However, there will always be people WHO refuse to forgive, refuse to let go and dig deeper
and deeper into the daily drama of dysfunction!! I LET THESE PEOPLE GO. THESE ARE NOT
THE PEOPLE WHO I CHOOSE TO HAVE IN MY LIFE TO BUILD ME UP. MY Life is filled with love and
goodness and truth.
IT IS IMPORTANT TO SEEK HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS.
I put my mind on good things, by telling the truth, this makes me feel good! I learn great
self control with weapons of inner forgiving, truth and self love Internally I have a sincere
desire to be slow to anger, not blame others. Here is where a sense of calm takes over and
I can let go of adversity! It’s getting easier to forgive myself. Above all, I use prayer
purposefully trusting that Jesus is right here by my side always. It hurts not to forgive.
Life is a giant classroom filled with realistic rules and daily options to jump leap years
ahead when I “let go” of my pride, let HIM in and agree to Learn from what happened. We
have already been forgiven by HIM when Jesus hung on the cross, tortured, and beaten
bloody. STILL he said, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do”.
I sat down and wrote a poem dedicated to overcoming anger with forgiveness.
“ANGER” by Barbie
Anger swells in the heart of thee, buried inside a big Black Sea.
Dismal dark voices, rich with lying menice
give few choices, where anger is endless.
On goes Anger in a deadly spin, Mr. Anger assures a wicked win.
Takes over with rage,
Brings in bruising blame, demands center stage!
Never ready to depart,
destroying all goodness in a loving, peaceful heart.
Hiding out is quiet, Forgiving self,
sitting high on a dusty shelf,
At once is felt a timeless prayer shout out!
Suddenly sweeps in, HIS Angelic Diadem, crushing Angers’ deadly sin.
Upon a cold, forlorn face, a powerful force gives chase.
Self Love and forgiveness is back!
Destroying all anger in its track.
Gone in a puff of smoke, so all can be set free,
Angels bravely sing to thee, HIS love has brought back my Humility!
__________________
I can do this, it’s not hard…in fact its a huge release, I have HIM to help me forgive.
Will I forgive myself today and someone in my family?
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“Barely Breathing” Blog #95
How can my day work when its filled with so much turmoil?
Why do things in my life get harder and harder to handle now?
When will I decide its time for me to bring in the “real help?”
“Oh normal day, let me be aware of what a treasure you are”. This was the caption on
my daily Calendar the morning the bottom fell out from under me. I was never prepared
for tragedy, no one is. Why does it often take something exremely painful in our life to
make us call out for HIS help? It shouldn’t have to be that drastic. Painful problems, life
threatening illness, as well as extreme sadness from the the loss of a relationship, bring us
to our knees - so to speak. However, now more than any time else in history we live in
such a secular society that faith has not only taken a back burner, it has fallen off the
shelf!
I started watching a newer series awhile ago - “The Chosen”. absolutely fascinating. The
series is one of the first of its kind in showing what the life of the man Jesus was like in
choosing and traveling with his disciples.. Not to mention the fact that all of these men
were relatively young. They had lives that were either single fishermen, newly married, a
tax collector, a soldier. Yet all had something in common, they were chosen to be
Disciples for our Lord. For more then three years the series goes through events that show
how and why these men were chosen. Why it was so important for Jesus, in wanting them
to see their faith. He told them story after story and did never-before-seen miracles, right
in front of them. Fascinating for me, to start to understand the “back story” of this
amazing man. Through the years of my own life, I never even gave it.a second thought
about the “man” Jesus. Absolutely had no clue as to his disciples. More than anything,
now it is possible to relate to hard, painful choices they each had to make. I never knew,
all the disciples wound up being martyred with the exception of John!
In knowing this over the years, this knowledge has helped me evolve so much better as a
Christian. Especially if I had been taught and learned more about the man Jesus, I could
have understood my own faith better. More importantly, appreciating how Jesus in the
end had to choose to remain man and not call on his divinity to save himself! Nobody
really talks about his life with these remarkable disciples. Seeing how necessary it is to
learn about believing and having permanent faith.
There is one particular scene in which Jesus tells the disciples he is going away for a bit
and he wants them to go in six different directions themselves. They are to go into the
country in pairs, to spread HIS word. More importantly he tells them “all the miracles you
have seen me do - you too can do. You will heal the sick, make the blind see, bring the
crippled back to health. Giving them anointing oil and telling them to go out and “take
nothing with them”. They doubted at first, but began seeing what happened when they
laid their hands on a sick person. James argued the most because he said to Jesus; “How
can I heal others when they see that I, as a crippled man, have not been healed? Jesus
told him, “Your time has not yet come”.
So often we give in and we give up before we are even aware of the healing that is
taking place inside of us!
Another disciple; Simon was married and he and his wife wanted to start a family. While
Simon was gone with the other disciples, his wife lost a baby. He was off in the desert, and
when he returned home, he became very angry at Jesus. He turned on Jesus as his anger
took over him. Then all the disciples (in a later scene) were in a boat on the water in a
terrible storm. Off in the distance they thought they saw a ghost walking on the water, it
was Jesus. Simon got out of the boat and began walking on the water toward Jesus, that
is, until he looked down, until he looked away, until he took his eyes off Jesus. Simon sunk
deep in the water. Jesus grabbed him, and Simon was barely breathing. “Oh ye of little
faith”, said Jesus. What does it take for us? How often are we barely breathing and cry
out for help?
Alone and afraid, feeling abandoned……I too, have felt hopelessly lost. These feelings are
real. I have never understood how people can look back at history and believe and
accept that Julius Caesar lived and the Romans lived and relics of the coliseums have
been found. Yet not believe that Jesus ever lived? There has been found and exists the
recovery of the Shroud of Turin which is the bloodstained burial cloth recovered from
Jesus’ tomb. His image is embedded deep upon this garment. Jesus said it all when he
spoke, “to believe and have faith without miracles, of seeing me, this is true faith”.
Leonardo Devinci painted the Sistine Chapel and also a magnificent portrait of the Head
of Christ from which he envisioned himself. There are stories and miracles and people
everywhere coming Into their faiths, their lives changed in an instant. Jesus is my life, my
hope and my every breath. I never want to be stranded alone, barely breathing again.
Can I take that deep breath and bring HIM into my heart today?
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“Why Blame?” Blog #94
What makes me any better than you?
What do I value most in my life about me?
Above all, am I ready to do hard things now?
Blame: the definition means being solely responsible for something bad that has
happened to me. “He/She really had only him/herself to blame”. How often have we
done something over the years and as we look back, and it can only be attributed to a
decision me/myself and I made? Yet, why blame myself as I go on in life for all the
negative things that have happened?
People everywhere will say, that is just the way it is. We are creatures of habit. However,
this is not a good habit! Thoughts that are blameful and self-degrading and dark will
destroy who we are one day at a time. The important statement, “The student is ready
when the teacher appears” means all the lessons we have gone through in our life up
until now - were VERY CRITICAL TO OUR OWN SELF GROWTH! Every day we live and decide
to learn from what has happened to us is purposeful.
Now there is definitely a caveat to these words, WE CANNOT BLAME OTHERS FOR OUR OWN
DECISIONS. WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE GOOD AND BAD DECISIONS WE MAKE. The
wisdom comes in knowing discernment. We must know when to choose good over bad.
We must know when to walk away. We must know when to close that door to yesterday
and now move forward!
NOT ONE SINGLE THREAD ON OUR head of hairs is not numbered by our Creator. He knows
us inside and out. Because we are given Free Will we can choose daily of and with our
own volition. What do we want to do? I must not blame myself for any part of my past
because it is gone, finished and over.
Today I deal with a new fresh slate. There is so many reasons I can blame people in my
past for staying stuck. I can think of one reason and another to tear apart their character
and stay at a distance.
Matthew 7:3 writes, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your neighbors eye
and pay no attention to the plank in your own”?
I know in my past, I have driven people away or attracted people to me based solely
on my own decisions. Today I want to be ready to “DO THE HARD THINGS”. I want to
change my behavior and my attitude and my actions with forgiveness of self first. I start
by seeing myself with an “understanding heart”. In doing this - I ONLY ATTRACT GOODNESS
FROM THE UNIVERSE. I hold no blame to others from my past and by doing this, it frees my
mind of anger.
A long time ago people came up to the Teacher, Jesus, and said to him, “Teacher, this
woman we have here was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says we must
stone her. What do you say?” They were trying to trap him into saying something that
they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger.
The people kept demanding an answer, so Jesus stood up again and said, ”All right, but
let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” Then he stooped down and
began writing in the dust. When the accusers heard what he said, they slipped away one
by one. Beginning with the eldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with
the woman. Now Jesus stood up again saying to the woman, “Where are all of your
accusers? Didn’t even one of them accuse you?” “No Lord”, said the woman. And Jesus
said, “Neither do I accuse you. Go, sin no more”.
This message is a lot about blame. Blame, we all need to see, does not have to start with
us. This also talks about what goes hand in hand with blame and it is judgement. No one
has the right to judge another human being. We have not walked in their shoes. IF we
know they were in our life and it was wrong, we need to leave, close the door and do not
look back. Learn from where we have come from. I refuse today to be angry and mad
and sad because of a situation that I have come from. I am better now. I am healthier
now. More than that, I have self love. IF I can stop blaming myself for any and all past
situations that did not work out, IF I can agree it it time now to start over, IF I accept all this
and say to myself, “Now is the time to search deep with in and do the hard work that is
expected of me.”
WHAT IS THE HARD WORK THAT I SPEAK OF HERE?
The hard work is Let it all go! “LETTING IT ALL GO NOW” IT doesn’t matter anymore how I
justify why or how someone treated me poorly. That day is gone. THAT SITUATION IS OVER.
Time to do the hard work, take it all out to the garbage and be done with it.
I must SEE my life differently from this moment on.
I can see that I am a “child of God” filled with beautiful light, love and laughter. I accept
that everyone WHO is in my life right now, is here for a reason and I do not blame anything
or anyone any longer.
I AM READY FOR MY LIFE LESSONS WITH MY EYES WIDE OPEN.
I agree to do my best. I accept all that is HERE RIGHT NOW. ALL given to me on a daily
basis. I see that I am growing and governing where I go with higher self awareness. I
gleam all Gods light to shine into the darkness when and if I need to help someone that
asks for help and is stuck. I will accept all my own challenges with a brave heart. Jesus
Christ’s light shines brightly within me.
I CAN FEEL I NOW HAVE HAD A COMPLETE CHANGE OF HEART.
I am surrounded with the Arch Angel of protection, Micheal. I take on the brave shield of
protection from all darkness and daily I memorize and say the powerful
PRAYER OF PROTECTION
THE LIGHT OF GOD SURROUNDS ME,
THE LOVE OF GOD ENFOLDS ME,
THE POWER OF GOD PROTECTS ME,
THGE PRESENSE OF GOD WATCHES OVER ME,
WHEREVER I AM, GOD IS…AND ALL IS WELL. AMEN.
As I go forward, CAN I LET GO OF, Who, what or why I blame someone today?
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“Brutal Honesty” Blog #93
What if it hurts too much to tell myself the truth?
Why can’t I get that person who means so much to me, to just listen?
When will I be able to go it alone and not worry about everything?
Treasure these moments for they are “teachable moments”. No pain - no gain. Once
upon a time, not so long ago in my own life, I felt completely lost, all alone. If people were
all around me, that didn’t matter, I was completely in the dark.
Now, how do I tell if I am living my life with brutal honesty, or dwelling in illusion?
Most of all, I need to have an open heart. My heart has to be open, not closed.
A story that comes quickly to mind, is about my choice of relationships as I grew older. I
found comfort in being with people that had so many problems. Probably because by
focusing on their problems, I could avoid my own. More often than not, the brutal truth
hurts. How often have we heard a friend or someone close to us say, “I am going to be
brutally honest with you”. Do we want to hear this from someone? Especially when
someone says to you, “all you do is complain, you do nothing about it” So suddenly it is
not about the brutal honestly, its about “my hurt feelings I feel”.
There are so many complicated outcomes of hurt feelings. More than anything, this
damages relationships sometimes permanently. The whole point of saying “Brutal
honesty’ is exactly that - brutal means violent, savagely. Then you have the word honest”
which basically means moral truth, morally correct. The minute my words can hurt some
one, every thing changes and the whole point of what is said, gets lost completely.
FEELING REALLY HURT.
It’s a long time after we share such brutal honesty with someone we care about, that we
can come to grips with the “Now, WHY WAS THAT SAID”? This is HARD TRUTH. It’s obvious
there is no safe haven in brutal honesty. So why go there? Because we can still be
brutally honest and have compassion in our voice when we speak. IF I can manage to
turn the tables so to speak, start with being brutally honest with myself. This is THE FIRST,
the most important place to begin.
I look at my life and I see the same two paths every single day. There is the path of
honesty or the path of dishonesty. For me to be truthful or to be a liar? Before I can help
anyone else I must learn to help myself. I can go back quietly in my mind, all the choices I
have made that I may be ashamed of, SO, I ask for forgiveness..
Can I and DO I accept there is no right way to do something wrong?
I once had a girlfriend in high school. She did not know how much I admired her beauty.
Yet one day she came to school with a wild look. Her hair was dyed to a dirty bluish black.
She had piercings everywhere and had now given in to self tattooing. Her behavior
encouraged all the wrong kind of friendships. Her grades dropped and her habits were
horrible. Smoking drugs, sex became her greatest vices. She hid behind this darkness.
and so in the end her final choice was death at a young age. She lived wild and she died
even wilder. This girl did not know brutal honesty with herself. She lived inside an illusion
that gave no truth yet in the end, swallowed her up. She looked for a “quick fix” everywhere
outside herself. Her initial beauty that I found so captivating, became the frosting on a
stale birthday cake. IF only someone could have gotten through to her with “Brutal honest
compassion”. But she was not open. “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”
When we are dishonest with ourself it eats away at us inside. The dishonesty festers and
grows, spreading a black mold into our conscience, blocking our ability to “feel” and be in
touch with a guilty conscience. Because there is an internal law that abides, “we are
constantly internally punishing ourselves for every wrong we commit, and reward ourself
for all acts of goodness that we do”. This is the sub conscience.
So as I come to a close on my belief in Brutal Honesty, I stand with one truth above all.
“I must love God with all my heart, mind and soul. I must love myself above all else.
Nothing else, no one else and no place else can give me the love that I must learn
to feel for myself.
This is my moment NOW- I AM brutally honest with myself and have a complete
change of heart. The universe will show me, my Lord will show me, I can
show Me each day how to “show up for myself!”
Rudyard Kipling said it best when he said:
IF YOU CAN FORCE YOUR HEART AND NERVE TO SERVE YOUR TURN
LONG AFTER THEY ARE GONE, AND SO “HOLD ON”…
WHEN THERE IS NOTHING LEFT IN YOU EXCEPT THE
WILL WHICH SAYS TO THEM; ‘HOLD ON!”
So this must be the day that I stop making any and all excuses for me. I must stop with
the illusion and have a “complete change of heart”. When I realize that I must take
complete responsibility for ME and only me. When I see that by depending on my heart to
soften all MY past regrets, I now invite HIM, my Lord Jesus Christ to be at the helm of my
ship. I can sail through rough waters and be not afraid, for HE is with me. My brutal
honesty heals my heart. I no longer just survive, but I now feel I can thrive and do what I
must do one day at a time.
“Do I dare to be brutally honest starting right now?
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“Instant Truth” Blog #92
Isn’t it hard out there trying to go it all alone?
Do I ride that roller coaster of doubt, throughout the day?
How can I tap in to real truth and find the right path to follow?
When I was watching the amazing true telecast about people around the world who live
to be in their hundreds, one fact stood out above all the unbelievable attributes to these
people who live in “the Blue Zone”. They take anger and revenge and contempt, and
forgive instantly. I do believe it is in the “carrying around that heavy carpet of anger” that
weights us down! WE FORGET TO FORGIVE. These people living in the Blue Zone live healthy
lives and enjoy one another, on a daily basis!
Recently I came across a definition that one of my children had written in class for the
word:
“INTEGRITY - “Everyone has a different definition of integrity. It has been said that Integrity
is what I say, what I think and what I do - all being the same thing. In a nut shell, Integrity
means being honest and upright and avoid deceiving others. To just live my life with
values I hold true. So therefore, Integrity demands that I act according to the values and
beliefs that make up my character! It is really essential I am absolutely honest, sincere,
and do not have deceiving behavior. This is because Integrity is the basis for trust and
confidence and goodness that must exist in my life. If I compromise my personal integrity,
I break the bonds of trust between me and my family and my friends. Yet most
importantly my own relationship with my God who gave me my inner truth to rely on. For I
must remember that inner truth is always there. HIS instant truth.
What if someone said to me today; “DESCRIBE YOURSELF IN 10 POSITIVE TRAITS. What would
they be? Would those words be: Forgiving, kind, humble. Selfless, grateful, nurturing,
patient, faithful, tolerant and balanced? That’s a positive group of words. Let’s take a
moment to see what ARE the words that describe me the best? This is a simple, but
wonderful way to do a “self analysis and look at myself from the inside out”. So, I can take
a piece of plain paper. Write the numbers one to ten. Then give words.
A fascinating description of poor character is as follows. Way back when, someone wrote
about the “Four Horsemen of Behaviors”, these four horsemen, if not saddled and trained
will escalate conflict in my life and cause harmful behaviors that become a normal part
of my life!
The Four Horsemen are: CRITICISM. DEFENSIVENESS. CONTEMPT. and SHUTTING DOWN.
Why is it so important that I address these “four horsemen” to balance my life
and bring in “Instant truth”?
CRITICISM is almost always blaming someone else with disapproval and judgement.
Allowing myself to focus on their flaws. This will always be met with anger and disdain.
The easiest way to deal with Crilticism is to turn it around to an ‘I statement”. Much better
for me to express MY FEELINGS “why” I want to criticize and do it in a warm, kind tone.
DEFENSIVENESS almost always makes excuses for behavior and shifts the blame to the
other person. (“It isn’t my fault!”.) Yet, when I take responsibility for my anger, by showing
remorse and apologize - “I shouldn’t have raised my voice!” I AM OWNING UP TO MY OWN
BEHAVIOR AS WELL.
CONTEMPT - How often have I used put-downs, or insults and acted superior? Even in my
tone of voice, I can push people away. Yet, by simply showing a little affection, giving a
compliment or showing appreciation for something, this changes the contempt to
kindness and fosters a healthier relationship with instant truth.
Lastly, “SHUTTING DOWN” can be tough. It is so easy for me to not want to listen to the
truth, let alone find inner strength. When I choose to shut down, withdraw, or just go silent,
I learn nothing! I know it is in my best interest to relax and listen. I can use deep breathing
here, calm down and stay present in the moment with the other person who (believe it or
not) is also my teacher in a very positive way. For we are ALL teachers to one another.
This is where we learn our greatest lessons on a daily basis.
I remember years and years ago, I met and became friends with my neighbor. He had
lost his wife and was living alone. I never saw another car at his home and I never saw him
receive any visitors. I loved to bring him “goodies” every now and then. Whether it be hot
chicken soup, homemade banana bread or chocolate chip cookies, he was grateful. One
lovely warm summer day, we started talking and I asked him if he had any family. He told
me he did have one brother. “I really have not spoken to him in more then twelve years”,
he sheepishly revealed. I was astonished in hearing this. How can that be?” I asked him
in a surprised tone. “Well, he said, it started out that we both were very angry with each
other about something I don’t recall, it had to be important, but now frankly, I just can’t
remember!” I asked him if his brother was still living and he sadly looked down and
confessed in a very quiet tone that he did not even know.
Anger, resentment and judging are three thieves that can rob me of my INTEGRITY. My
inner guidance and my inner light becomes clouded over. There was a study done by
Staew et al. (:1994) “This study showed that people who had positive emotions attracted
better relationships and had greater success in life and nurtured a healthy body as well”.
Again - I must remember the basic fact of my human life comes with choice.
I can choose to be “In the world or of the world”. I can choose to believe or not believe. I
know innately I am given “FREE WILL”. With this Free Will I get to choose what I want in
my life.
Isn’t that interesting. No matter what, God lets me choose. I can believe in him or not.
However, there is a reason “WHY” I have a conscience. The fact I have inner spiritual
knowledge and inner guidance is up to me to see all this comes from HIM.
I can feel HIM quietly asking me to believe in my Lord Jesus Christ.
Yet, All I have to do is ask and I then receive HIS “INSTANT TRUTH”.
So today, “Am I willing to ask for Inner Instant Truth?”
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“What Won’t Work?” Blog #91
People are pushing me in every direction, IF I let them.
My life is filled with “stuff” I need to fix.
Every day lies waiting, but Why is my life NOT working right?
The greatest gift I can give to myself is TIME, TIME to learn about me. I want to
understand and accept and believe that all my hurt has come into my life to teach me
the valuable lessons that I need to learn about ME. Yet, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? A
little story fits here nicely now, so I jump right in.
Fast back track to my teenage years and living at home off and on when I wasn’t at my
grandpas house. I would go home on the weekends because I felt so guilty in “running
away to a safe place”. Yet, as I look back I see the puzzling problem of even trying to get
through a day with clarity. My parents were living in complete and utter darkness. They
did not even realize what a “good life to live” is. Because my father was a raging, abusive,
mean alcoholic, us children ran away, stayed away, “felt away from any confusing
parenting they tried to randomly throw at us”. By my teen years, I had seen so much daily
drinking and fighting and abusive anger that all three of us children lived inside a home all
together, separately. Family that did not care. I was sixteen years old, trying to shuffle
back and forth between my parents and grandparents. I could see my one brother
becoming wilder and experimenting with dark drugs. I had a couple of friends but still
kept my family secrets to myself. One night stands out in sadness. I had gone through
too many fights. The horrid screaming and my mother crying at home. Another weekend
of this raging fighting. Empty beer bottles all over our dismal, dirty little kitchen. What were
they even fighting about anyway? I had my own problems and they didn’t care. On
impulse, I grabbed an empty beer bottle, smashed it and cut at my wrists. In the back of
my mind, I was somehow thinking this act would knock some sense into my drunken
father sitting on the chair in the other room. I remember walking in to show him.
Hysterically crying, I flung myself at him but then pulled back. I had hopes that for the first
time my dad would pay attention to his daughter. How his drunken, droopy eyes even
looked up at me I don’t know. But he stared at my bleeding wrists. Then in a slow, slurring,
angry tone he spoke. Snickering, he said; You can’t even do that F…….. right! Now get outta
my sight.
Ironically something inside of me snapped. In the strangest way, yes, I felt completely
alone but that was good. I suddenly got an insight that it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter
because I would prove him wrong in my strength. I was stupid to show him my weakness.
Never again would I allow myself to let someone or something take away my inner power.
I suddenly saw my father as a weak, beaten, lost lamb. I pitied him. I hated him. It took
years to turn me around and see how he chose drugs and alcohol over his family and
faith. He lived in such darkness that God was never allowed in. The dark hole consumed
and swallowed him at fifty two.
So am I defined because of where I came from? NO, It will not label who I am. What
matters most is where I AM going! I could cop out and feel sorry for myself forever. Well,
what will that ever prove? That would get me no where. All I had to do was look around.
Every single someone has something, somehow hurting them as well. At that moment I
realized Its not about my family, it’s not about any other person, ITS ALL ME. What do I want
to do about me? I had to be safe. I saw that immediately.
There is a Bridge we all cross in our years coming out of childhood into our teens -Teens
become adults quickly. Adults with addictions hard to stop. We look at life with a narrow
family awareness, but we do get to choose and see, ITS ALL UP TO ME. WHATEVER IS NOT
WORKING, I HAVE TO FIX IT. MY BRAIN IS TELLING ME DRUGS, PILLS, SMOKING …. ARE ALL NOT
WORKING. PRAYING, I DO IT IN A HEALTHY WAY NOW.
My l.ife unfortunately, did not get easier with an amazing awareness, but its way better.
Because human beings are creatures of habit, we do adjust. No matter what. Ironically,
most of us decide that we “will never be like the darkness we see” AND THEN WE CREEP
RIGHT TOWARD IT THROUGH HABITS, IDEAS, AND PEOPLE. There is only one way that works. A
belief in HIM. Jesus is MY only answer. It might make you want to withdraw right now, yet I
say in this saturated world of darkness, NO other force is strong enough to take on EVIL. It
creeps its dark ugly head and gets in.
As a teen, you try to fit in no matter what. We want to fit it. We need to fit in and find out;
What works and what doesn’t. Having friends makes us feel safe. But we need to check
them out, what are they made of? What is working in a good way for them and for me?
So I need to be careful. “Birds of a feather flock together”.
IF a person is sad, depressed, angry, resentful, bitter, judgemental, THESE are the same
qualities MY person will attract in FRIENDS around ME. WE WANT TO FEEL NEEDED. I WANT TO
FEEL SAFE. I WANT AND DESERVE TO FEEL LOVED. It Is hard and risky and challenging to go
out and find friends who appear “Healthy & Happy”. How TO DO THIS?
I STOP INDULGING MY LOWER SELF DESIRES. I BECOME KINDER TO OTHERS. I AM HONEST.
Yet, behind closed doors of every home in the country, a family life is living NOW. How are
we treating each other and above all I need o be honest with my feelings. if a family
member or a friend has let me down, hurt me, abandoned me, I need to let them know
through words or a letter and discern if it is time to let go of what is not working. I must
remember that in order for my life to work for me I accept the lessons I have been given.
We are all teachers for one another in this classroom of life, we are all students of HIS
word. IF we but accept this challenge. Free Will willl always be a double edged sword.
Just because we can do it, does not mean we should. I pray to Jesus daily for discipline,
detachment and discernment. Inside each of us is a fragile higher self child that needs
nurturing. In my aloneness I have so many tools to help myself today.
“AM I READY TO FIX THINGS INSIDE ME THAT DON’T WORK?”
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“Painful Push” Blog #90
Some days it’s enough to get up and just go get the mail. Other days, in depression I ask,
where does life take me now? Those days all I’ve done is beg for sleep to come, my only
refuge. Lonely, isolated and afraid, what is coming up next?
The Story of the Eagle
by Vishwabramana
The Eagle has the longest life-span of its species and lives up to 70 years old. But to get to
that age, the eagle must make a very difficult decision! In its 40th year, the eagle’s long
and flexible talons can no longer grab a prey which serves as food. Its long and sharp
beak becomes bent. Its old-aged and heavy wings, due to their thick feathers, stick to its
chest and make it difficult to fly. Then, the eagle is left with ONLY TWO OPTIONS: DIE or go
through a painful process of CHANGE! This process last for 150 days or five months. The
process requires the eagle to fly to a mountain top and sit on its nest. There the eagle
knocks its beak against a rock until it plocks it out. Then the eagle will wait for the new
beak to grow back after which it will pluck out its talons. When its talons grow back, the
eagle starts plucking out its old-aged feathers. And after this, the Eagle takes its famous
flight of rebirth and LIVES for thirty more years!!
Why is change needed? To survive and thrive. We all need to go through pain. It can be
a painful push into powerful change. The old memories, negative habits and fixed
mindset must go. Freed from past burdens, we can take advantage of the powerful
present. IF an Eagle makes this life changing decision, so must we. The EAGLE avoids the
rain, by flying above the rain clouds. So we can see why my favorite bird, with rare insight
and a most amazing background, is the EAGLE.
Did you know that Eagles balance aggression with being graceful? If only us humans
could manage to do this. Eagles are one of the fastest birds on the planet, they can fly as
fast as a speeding car and they are full grown at twelve weeks old. Eagles do not push
their young out of the nest? In fact, they want their young to learn the hard way. So they
wait to feed their babies until the babies feel intense hunger. When the mother eagle is
building her huge nest, she starts by layering it. She layers the nest with thorns, rocks,
branches and other sharp materials not really meant for a gentle resting place! But after
the base part is done, she lines the nest with a thick padding of feathers, fur, wool, pine
straw and soft materials. This is where she lays her eggs. Here is where her newborn
babies get all their food and nutrition to grow. Then when the babies are ready to fly - the
Mother eagle does something bizarre! She starts to mess up the nest. She stirs it up. With
her long talons, she digs up the sharp rocks, the thorns, and the hard materials, moving
away all the feathers and the soft comforts at the top. The mother eagle knows it is time
to deliberately change the home environment for her young. It is time for her to make
them ready to mature and move on out of the nest. IT IS TIME for them to learn to soar
above the storms on their own. AND THEY DO. You and I can too.
Did you know about a man named Nick Vujicic? He is the founder of an organization “Life
without Limbs”. Nick has no arms and no legs. Yet he plays musical instruments and uses
a computer and gives motivational talks and he has written several books. Here is
another man, Andrea Bocelli. He is one of the most famous singers alive, and yet he is
blind. Still, he has gone on to sell seventy five million records and continues to sing!
Bethany Hamilton survived a shark attack at the young age of seventeen. She sadly lost
her entire left arm. After only four weeks, she was back surfing and was back competing
and eventually won six First Place trophies! Then we have another amazing man, Stevie
Wonder. Here was a man born blind and despite being blind from birth, he has recorded
thirty of the U.S. top hits. I only mention these people because they are like you and I, just
people. Yet, people that were born with severe adversities and have managed to not just
cope but overcome their adversitiy and contributed to society with great inspiration on
how to live life to its fullest.
Today I can face my pain. I can and will feel that internal “Painful push” and get out of my
“lower self” way. I no longer want to just survive but I want to thrive! As Dr. Seuss has said
in so many ways, “Oh, the things I can do, if I just allow myself to!
The Lord has showed us this magnificent Eagle who teaches her young to leave home
and manage on their own. Life is painful, yes, but it is in the painful push towards
awareness, that we G R O W strong internally. In my distress, loneliness and grief, I have
been made aware of the beautiful internal light that is inside to guide me. This light takes
all the darkness away. There is no possible way we can achieve internal growth without
the pain of dealing with life’s issues day to day to day. Yes, we can laugh and be happy
and enjoy one another. We are meant to do this. Here in lies the balance. However, it is in
the painful push of sadness, fear and darkness that we must search for GOD’s truth.
Every one of us has an internal warrior of super human strength! So many times we hear
of this person or that person using this super-human strength in miraculous ways. We too,
can do this. There is no question about it, in the face of all obstacles and no matter what
the cicumstances are, I AM designed to soar like the eagle. It’s in the remembering, that I
find my Higher Self who is internally waiting and then gets the painful push to come
forward IF we but let it into our hearts.
HE is in me today. Jesus waits in my heart. I can talk to him now.
“Can I accept the “painful push” and turn my trouble into triumph?”
NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW
“Body Blame” Blog #89
Most of all - It is good to be alone with oneself; find balance through deep breathing..
I can spend all day and night with noise. I can keep myself busy with mindless activity.
OR, I can find the deepest part of me that is waiting internal in truth, love and goodness.
This is the body of LIGHT that burns to come forward and overcome any and all blame I
carry inside myself. Believe it or not, every person has some internal passion for
something…..what is it? This is my job while I am on earth, to find my calling, regardless of
my age. So many years go by and give me silly habits that I rely on. I bundle fears fast
and furious and place those at the head of the line of my interior leadership. My body is
running on whatever fuel I decide to provide it with. today. Now, I may rationalize I need
the energy, caffeine and “sugar” in drinking a Red Bull drink. I have told myself that it is
less than sugar that is in a cup of strawberries. However, that does not even need to be
rationalized, justified or proved wrong. IT JUST IS.
Chemicals and SUGAR are the least of my body needs. I can drink plain water and
IF I want to add something important, I add a package of Vitamin C crystals (1000mg.)
Its ironic how my body has always been taken for granted when I was younger. I
expected it to act and do whatever I wanted it to. Yet, as I go on through the years, I find
energy harder to come by. This is because I have blamed all the wrong reasons for my
body not being “in good, healthy shape”. IF I stand in the mirror today and weigh myself,
there is an ideal weight for every person. Heres the first tip: When I stand up, I am able to
comfortably touch my toes and see them! My stomach should not stand out in a bulge
(unless there is a severe health issue I am dealing with).
My body should take in food in the morning that gives me energy - (NOT just an energy
drink). I can eat Raisin Bran/cheerios/all bran/fruit/nuts/yogert/muffin/eggs that are “free
range of chemicals” I can start my deep breathing to the count of one thousand one,
breathing deep in through my nose and out through my mouth. 10 x.
Regardless of my age - I do not blame my body for what it can not do because I do NOT
WANT TO DO IT. That being said, I can walk. I make myself walk, (preferably outdoors) and
as I walk I say powerful, positive affirmations internally to myself.
Why have I started my blog this way today? It is because I have let myself go. I feel it, I
know it and I can see it, when I look into the mirror! There is no reasonable alibi for not
taking good care of myself. I have blamed my body in the past for exercise that I fail to
do. This is wrong. As long as I have a breath inside of me, there is some kind of exercise
that I can do. There is Yoga, Pilates, Isometirics, fast walking, biking, swimming, and more
of just plain walking…..and more walking.
The Queen of England lived to be almost one hundred. She stated that more of her life
was spend outside then inside. Regardless of the weather, she managed to be outside.
When I blame my body for not eating right and feeling ashamed, I am violating a sacred
part of me that is alive. Because My Body is the Temple of God, it is my responsibility to
take care of, feed healthy and nurture my entire body. It is hard to accept that fact that
once I start blaming my body and myself for so many things, everything around me starts
to fall apart. I am prone to anxiety, panic attacks, and more and more mental abuse of
myself.
HERE AND NOW BODY BLAMING, SHAMING AND WRONG THINKING MUST S T O P.
My body and my mind and my spirit are on a journey together while I am alive on this
earth. Instead of this internal battle that I constantly fight, it’s time for me to “let go” of all
that blame wherever it is casting its sinister shadow inside of me. IT is time for me to find
healing and higher self health and peace of mind. All the therapy in the world cannot free
me from blaming myself for anything until I am ready to simply say; “I am ready to let go.
I am ready to take off this oversized, unbelievably burdon-sized , weighted coat and
breathe in a sigh of relief.”
I am done with the lie. I have let go of the “false, fake, feeble feelings” of darkness.
Drinking can’t free me. Pills can’t free me. Weed and Vaping can’t free me. ONLY the
belief that HE is here for me now and I accept that My Body is the Temple of GOD.
Therefore, IF I choose self-help or therapy or insights I have gleamed from counseling, I
must preface this all with my own understanding of God working through me now. With
this awareness, I choose not to fall back into harmful patterns. It’s important for me to
remember that Knowledge once learned is power! Taking all these insights into
consideration I can see that my behavior can and should and does change now. Now I
can see that serving my body by giving it healthy food and drink, builds my energy level in
important ways. Caring for my body instantly removes false fears, false friends, and
stagnation. SO I GO OUTSIDE. I find ways to exercise. I give my body permission to
process all I am doing in a safe way. Its time to see that my body, mind and spirit are one
with me.
IF I see myself, I am this triangle;
Spirit - The Holy Spirit is inside of me - I tap into it with prayer.
Mind - I think healthy thoughts/ in meditation daily.
Body - My body is the Temple of God - I exercise and feed it healthy food
I have found peace in prayer and forgiveness and “Letting GO of all past problems”.
“Am I ready to stop the blame and heal my body, mind and spirit today?”
NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW
“Poison or Power?” Blog #88
Where is the biggest thing I am afraid of right now?
What is keeping me from finding my “highest potential?
How can I go forward when I am so filled with fearful thought?
Above all today, I must know there are Angels everywhere around me, always.
I remember a while back when I heard a powerful speech about “Duty”. The biggest
problem with Duty, I was told, is duty appears to be restrictive, old fashioned and silly.
However, ONLY “Duty” can make a person strong, reliable and thriving. When I make
myself P U S H through all the “I don’t want to because….”, and eliminate all the objections,
and try to do something different today, I am now willing to lift the veil of fear. It is only
then that I begin to see the light on the horizon. What can possibly be more important
than “daily doing the right thing?” ABSOLUTELY NOTHING more important.
I know I need to, I have to, I must find MY place IN a house of God. Angels are there.
IT IS ONLY THERE I CAN BEGIN TO FIND BALANCE, IN TOTAL SILENCE WITHIN ME. IF I look at my
Sunday and I give every reason in the world NOT to attend a church. I should sit myself
down, then write all my justifiable reasons while talking to HIM. Tell HIM out loud, “Why I do
not feel any need to attend the house of HIS domain. Explain in detail my other, more
important, choices for Sunday activity?” Angels are watching.
We do not begin to understand the importance of finding a deeper self in the house of
GOD”. IF I choose not to talk with HIM and recognize the angels are with us indubitably,
then I push and shove and throw away truth. Now, why is that?
FOR I promise you IF you choose to open your eyes to the possibility of knowing angels
and MY Guardian Angel are with ME every moment of every day, then and only then,
poison cannot permeate my inner being. Powerful light moves throughout me. Your life,
just like my life, will change in ways that are absolutely amazing!
Quite a while ago I learned how to find out who my own guardian angel is, and at the end
of my blog today, I will remind you how to find yours. I heard a beautiful story awhile back
in a book I purchased titled “Entertaining Angels”, by Anne Neilson. She shared a
powerful story about going to work at a Food Shelf for homeless people and volunteering.
People came from all parts of the city to donate coats and warm clothing for families and
children who had nothing. People wanted to make sure that when the homeless arrived,
there would be warm clothes, especially an overcoat and a toy for each child. They
called Jimmy Johns and had sandwiches sliced into thirds so everyone could get
something to eat. When the volunteer woman arrived and began working, she noticed a
particularly young woman with four little children waiting in line. This young woman
waited and waited, telling her little children to be patient. At the end, when the volunteer
went to leave, there was an icy rain outside and there she saw the young woman from
inside. Now she also noticed the sad young woman was also pregnant. There she stood
waiting, trying to find a ride. Her four small children were crying because the line had
been too long and they ran out of clothes and toys. So the voluteer walked up to the
young woman and offered to give her a ride home. While they were driving, the young
woman was very emotional. She shared her story of living in fear of someone who she did
not know how to leave. As the volunteer continued driving and listening, she internally
decided to make an important stop. “We are going to Walmart”, she told the young
mother, “you can pick out a warm winter coat and one toy for each child.” The young
mother was also given new underwear and pajamas. In the car, she had continued to
share her tragic story with the volunteer. The horrific chaos, feeling trapped and not
knowing how to get out. As they walked into the store, the volunteer shared, “God and his
angels are always watching. Events are placed in our lives to help us “see clearly”. If I
can surrender to God, trust in his plan for me, HE will show me the way out!
The young mom suddenly got a call from someone who said: “your boyfriend, who you
have been living with, has just been found fatally shot”. Ironically, there was an Off-Duty
policeman who happened to be at Walmart. The volunteer asked if that policeman could
find out more details. They did and told the young, pregnant, woman NOT to go anywhere
near the apt. It was now suddenly swarming with police. It was time now for her to move
on. This was finally the young mothers chance to get away, start over and be safe. A
temporary hotel for a week to start, was found immediately. Now the moment to sort out
what to do next was here. This young mother was encouraged to contact her own family
who she had been estranged from for a long time. She had been living with her children
in uncertain danger. Finally faced with forgiveness, future optimism, and safety, this lovely
young pregnant mother saw hope. Angels came out of nowhere to be there for her.
Angels are all around us.
Truth lies in believing in divine intervention, I know that I do. Many years back, when I was
lost, living in fear and darkness, I had given up. Still, I put my hands together and said,
“Dear Lord,…..I can’t do it any more, please help me”. I promise you this, Angels
swooped down. My heart felt lighter. My room was lit up in sunlight.
AND…… I believed. Not for a single moment will I ever abandon my faith in Jesus Christ.
Even though my own cherished mother, was brutally beaten and killed. My disturbed
broken brother put in an institution never to be free again and die there. Then recently
my beloved, beautiful eldest daughter found dead of alcohol and drug addiction, in a
hotel room. All these horrific deaths blistering, beyond understanding. Events that could
normally cripple the strongest convert. Still I choose HIS light, not darkness.
I choose never to feel alone. I never feel abandoned, and I do not give up.
For I see the poison trying to take my power, by worldly promises of falsehoods.
Understanding it is the knowing HE is there for me, every minute of each day. Just
knowing this, makes all the difference. I now challenge YOU to find YOUR strength amidst
YOUR darkness. Remove the poison of a false life of lies. Knowing nothing can harm you if
you do not allow it. Replace all empty, dark energy, with powerful Jesus Christ energy.
With this in mind, how can we not see God in every single moment?
IF you choose to want to find the name of your own Guardian Angel tonight: Simply lay
down at the end of the evening in quiet, peaceful repose. Now ask internally, thankfully
and knowingly,
“What is the name of my own Guardian Angel?”
NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW
“Feeling Trapped” Blog #87
Do I feel stuck in a corner, with no way out right now?
Have I found more time is spent on the negative and not positive?
Has everything in my life become just too overwhelming?
Every one of us have had ups and downs and difficult situations to get out of. There are
hundreds of platitudes to suffice. So here are some of my favorites.
“A bad attitude is like a flat tire; if you don’t change it, you won’t go anywhere”. (Joyce Meyer)
Today I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow I can do what others can’t”. (Jerry Rice)
And one of the best:
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose”. (Dr. Seuss)
I think about life around me and how many examples of necessary care are out there. IF I
don’t fill my car with gas, what will happen? I cannot drive it! IF I don’t plug my phone in
at night - the battery willl be dead and it will not work? IF I don’t eat food and drink liquids
I will get weak and die. These are basic rules of life.
If I don’t have a map for my life, I most likely will find myself “Lost in darkness”. So what
about all that stuff in the middle of my life? What STUFF fills up my day? Gossip? Junk
food? TV? Computer trash? Facetime and different apps? WORRY….. And people around
me!!
Don’t I sometimes wish I could become more weightless? How often do I take on things in
life, or other peoples stuff that bog me down and make me feel trapped. Life does not
need to be like this. We are meant to live life with a lighter touch. Have you ever watched
a balloon that has helium put into it? It gets bigger and bigger and pretty soon when it is
all blown up, it can float high up into the air….weightless. When I gave the examples of the
phone needing to be charged and filling up my car with gas, I thought, what about me?
Am I so cavalier to think that life just happens to me regardless of how I eat, how I think, or
how I act?”
NO. MY attitude at the start of every day is what steers me completely. So today I am
more aware, I am better fed, I have my tools and “I BUCKLE UP”. As this time I AM prepared.
I do not now, nor ever will I, feel trapped in doing things. I understand and I believe that
NOTHING CAN HARM ME IF I DO NOT ALLOW IT.
So what exactly does this mean? This means I am aware that LIFE is out there YET, I need
protection. First and foremost I must protect myself with prayer at the start of every day.
Now after prayer it is “in the knowing” that as I choose to make decisions about what
unfolds in front of me I have instilled “discernment”. This means I NOW internally know to
make the correct decision for my life.at that time. Sad, depressing dark thoughts are
being PUSHED away - REPLACED with my words of revive ….rehabilitate….rejuvinate…….renew…
reenergize and recondition.
I MUST understand and believe that my body is truly the Temple of God. There is an
internal obligation to MYSELF and my GOD to daily remember this. While I am on this
journey of life, it’s so important for me to travel lighter. Don’t take myself so seriously and
GO OUTSIDE TODAY AND reenergized, I WALK. Everything in my life takes on a different slant
when I am outside walking and listening and looking at nature, I breathe in new life. . My
troubles? Yes, they may be there, yet I remember to refocus on a higher self inside of me.
THIS TO SHALL PASS. No matter what, I have healthy thoughts. No matter what, I have
internal help. NO matter what, I have today and I have choice. I can choose good things
for myself because I am blessed with a healthy mind to do this. Nothing can ever harm
me IF I do not allow it to.
FROM THIS MOMENT ON…..I DO NOT ALLOW IT. I can play a beautiful song….I can read an
uplifting book, I can watch a funny movie, I can laugh with a valued friend. I can just be by
myself and take deep breaths. NO MORE DWELLING IN DARKNESS, LIFE IS TO BE LIVED.
When I think of the words restore, refresh and replenish, I am thinking how these words are
working hard in my life to bring out the best in me now. I need to wake up every morning
refreshed. This means I must get a good night’s sleep and a minimum of seven to eight
hours of important rest. When I think of the word replenish, I walk into my kitchen and I
am determined to replenish my body with good healthy food. I eat breakfast no matter
what. I can choose free-range eggs, oatmeal, yogurt, fruit and nuts. I can make a
smoothie with lots of fresh fruits. My mind needs to be restored every day. I must read
healing, inspiring, uplifting words. (Even if I pull them up on my phone.)
All around me are choices. I can listen to good, calming music. I can start with deep
breathing and above all, a simplistic prayer, “Thank you Lord that your will, not my
will, be done in my life today”. So, with that prayer, I am determined to make healthy
choices. I let go and let God, take over at the helm of my ship. He’s a much better
captain then I ever will be.
Can I take off this heavy coat of entrapment now and trust in my Lord?
NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW
“Highest Health” Blog #86
Am I bogged down with all kinds of peoples’ personal problems around me?
Stressing about every detail of my life, am I caught up in dangerous daily drama?
Why is my inner health so important anyway?
Life happenings make me stronger, IF I let them. There is purpose in everything I do. There
is a lesson in everything that happens to me. However, It’s my character, attitude and
honesty that directs my sail into calm, serene peaceful waters, or do I choose a storm of
stinging, sinking sadness? Have I got healthy friends?
We all know who we are, so many of us, addicted to a “yo yo” lifestyle. Up, down, up down,
we believe and feel this or that can “work” for us, until it does not. When we don’t want to
look at our own life, we jump into fixing somebody else’s life. There is a fascinating book I
have read a while back. The title is; “The Blue Zone”, by Dan Buettner.
A person does not have a long, healthy life just by accident.
The whole point of this book is to focus on a few select areas of the world includes U.S.A
that show people living into their 100’s and just dying peacefully!! Why is that?
One of the most fascinating facts in the book is that all over the world these people
live thousands of miles from each other, yet they have one huge thing in common. They
eat, think and live in a higher health self-mode.
We can all benefit from a good quality of life. It is not enough to live life and just survive, a
higher health attitude is to want to thrive. Dan Buettner went personally and visited each
of these places and met and visited with the people who live there. They look and feel
and act remarkably young into their eighties and nineties. I urge you to read his book. It
was ironic how earlier in my life when I lived with my grandfather, I felt safe around him.
He lived to be almost one-hundred and the day he died was sunny and warm. He went
upstairs after a big healthy breakfast, laid down on top of his bed, and went to sleep
quietly and peacefully. What a beautiful way to leave this earth. I was fortunate to be in
his life for his last years. There was never a question of nursing homes. My grandfather
was revered, treated like a king, then waited on until his last day on earth. This seldom
happens any more, especially in the United States. Older people are shoved away. Left
alone, they lose their desire to live, let alone thrive.
Yes, many elderly people DO need medical help, yet there are so many that do not. It just
is not “convenient” to have them around. So goes the norm now and the majority of
senior citizens are “sent away” never to live with any of their family ever again. How sad.
In the book the “Blue Zone”, Dan Buettner talks about the impact and the necessity of the
elders teaching the young in families they live with. In Sardinia, Okinawa, Loma Linda, Calf.
and Costa Rica, there are healthy thriving loving families all together. Then when a person
reaches the “golden years”, they are treated by family and friends in “golden ways” Most
of the elderly live with their children and grandchildren. Three generations under one roof
and thriving! The great secret to their long lives is found in what they eat, how they think
and what they do. In Okinawa, Japan, people put family first, they enjoy being with their
family. Most of these people belong to a faith based society. They slow down and they
laugh a lot, they wake up each morning with a plan for their life. They eat healthy foods;
Brown rice, beans, fruit nuts. Little to no meat. They cook corn beans and squash
together. Eating almonds wards off cancer.
There is little to no disease where all these people have found a higher health way of life. I
can go on and on and IF they are living into their hundreds they MUST know something
good! In Loma Linda, California, the Seventh Day Advetists’s have long lives.
They exercise daily, eating fruit, vegetables, nuts and beans and the result is a healthy
productive, happy life. In the United States, loneliness has become an epidemic! We are
set on livestyles that force us into isolation day after day. We are attracted to different,
dangerous sites on the internet that does not produce healthy habits.
In Japan the longest living people believe forgiveness is key; “Forgive quickly”
It’s interesting to read how people in these countries live healthy each day. They do not try
to figure out the ending before they do something. So many of us STOP going forward just
because of FEAR - (False Events Appearing Real). Healthy rituals of repetition are
essential.
Make my Monday a day to start fresh, fresh fruits and vegetable only to eat. Tuesday
is a day I explore more, lovely places to walk, different stores to shop at for food. By
Wednesday its midweek. I plan something productive for myself, a new hobby a new
friend I can meet at the book store or the food store. I am reading constantly because
this is good for me. IF reading is not working, I can always listen to audio books, in
my car or before I go to bed.
Did you know the majority of food eaten in the Blue Zone areas is EARLY IN THE DAY.
Far better to process and metabolize our food before we go to bed. Our Urine should
be the palest color lemon and bile should be lightest brown with no odor. What we
put into our bodies decides our health. This is not only food, but our thinking and our
feelings as well. Four glasses of water daily is essential, and cleansing for me.
People who weigh themself daily are usually 15 pounds lighter than those who don’t.
Keeping a big pot of fresh vegetables and home made soup are healthy staples.
I know how I feel when I have eaten the wrong way, I feel bloated, depressed and
irritable at end of day. There is no need for this any longer. I replace sugar as much
as I can with honey. I do not drink any dairy and my choice of liquid for my cereal
of oatmeal or raisin bran with flax is Oatmilk or Almond Milk. All of these things I share
to show how easy it is to make the courageous change for higher health.
IF I start my morning in thankful prayer and end with “Not my will, but THY WILL BE DONE”,
there is a great possibility that I will make good choices in everything I do.
so I buckle up, it may be a bumpy ride today, yet I have my spiritual seat belt on.
Even IF I have had a rough day and there was little or no chance of laughter, I can
come home and deliberately find a “funny movie” to watch that will make me smile.
Life is like that, I get to choose. I can change the channels constantly. I am in charge.
I want a higher healthier life style in everything I do. People will come into my life
at whatever level I am at. Today I choose to “Lift the bar”, I WANT HEALTHY FRIENDS.
I want to live my life at its fullest, filled with love not fear. Today is my brand new day.
“Can I choose a Higher Healthy life for myself now?”
NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW
If you like this, please pass it on!
“No Way Back” Blog #85
Have I been thinking, how far can I keep going at this pace?
Is my life speeding by too fast, or too slow, and who knows where?
How much longer can I keep worrying about something I can’t fix?
RESPONSIBILITY
“The fulfillment of my dreams lies within me and me alone. When I understand
and accept this, then nothing, or no one, can ever deny me greatness. The power
to succeed or fail at anything is mine, and no one can ever take that away.”
I remember the day when I was the ripe old age of thirteen. I had made up my mind to
make a life changing decision. I felt in my heart I could no longer live with my mother and
father’s abusive life style. My fathers drinking and daily fights with my mother had taken a
terrible toll on my feelings about myself. I was afraid a lot, I could not study in school and
more often then not, I was distracted by a darker side of life.
We had left the turmoil and sadness and confusion of living at my Aunt Irene’s house.
Now after months of no school, we had all been living in one room at a boarding house,
My other aunt felt sorry for us and helped my mom with a deposit for rent. My mother
found a tiny house for us to start over again. Yet, the fights were just as long and scary.
Her children? We were all a couple years older now. I was losing my will to want to get
good grades by eighth grade. Nights were frightening, it was chaotic and not safe. My
mother had found a cheap house but in a bad neighborhood of the city. There were only
two bedrooms, one which my parents had and the other shared by both brothers and
myself. We seldom had much to eat and my parents were gone daily, selling picture
coupons to try and make a living. At home, my mother tried to give me a bit of privacy
with a make-shift screen but it just would not do. Besides, it was facing the street, making
it easy to sneak out. As I look back, I remember never having an adult I could talk to, much
less depend on. Yet, l did look up to my mothers two sisters. Even though they had thrown
us out of their alcoholic sisters house, I knew they were tough. They seem to be made of
steel. Nothing could break them. Ironically, there was a safe feeling when I was around
them. They were so powerful. Living with my grandpa in their big old colonial, was always
in the back of my mind. It was just two miles south of our rented house but in a much
safer part of town, and above all, a good school district.
But who does that at my age? Why was I needing to act like the parent here? I was
wanting to up and leave and seriously believe it will all work out. No looking back, no time
to justify and no way back. It was my eldest Aunt Laura, the one who had always taken
me under her wing. She had planted that seed. She had told me so many times when I
visited her, “You have to write the letter, you must write that letter and leave. All will be
well.“
Yet, in the back of my mind, of course I knew it would be a break, and a loss if I wrote it,
there would most certainly be “No way back”.
Inside my mind I knew all the justifiable good reasons to leave. I understood where my
aunt was coming from when she told me what a bad father I had and how bad my
mother had become, allowing all that abuse on us children to take place. She told me
the letter had to end with an ultimatum. I must tell my mother I would not be coming
back to her, ever, unless she left my father for good.
There had been so many promises. At thirteen years old now, I understood life in a very
strange, hypocritical, dark way, and as my aunt Irene had said, “Who’s kidding who? ”So
many horrific events, I had learned to block them all out now. I wish I could say my aunts
taught me about my faith, but they used God in a strange, hypocritical way. Everything
they did was the opposite of how I understand Jesus to be. Yet, they did give me an
outline of how to make it through things. They were unbelievably strong. They just did not
give up at anytime and they seemed to be afraid of nothing. I guess that rubbed off on
me.
Still, I never believed I would leave. One afternoon, I was at the height of my fear, and after
a bad night of my parents drinking and abuse when my aunt called and asked me to
come spend the weekend, I agreed. It was at her house, where she dictated the letter for
me to write. She told me I was doing this to “save” our family. I never had a different plan,
so I used hers.
Be careful in life, because when you don’t have a plan, someone gives you theirs.
I realized there was no way back because her plan suddenly became mine. My aunt
convinced me to write the letter. “Tell your mother you will only come home to get your
things. You will stay here now. “If she loves you, she will leave your dad now.”
I remember asking my aunt, “but what about my brothers, where can they go?”
My aunt smiled at me, touched my shoulder gently but firmly saying, “You can’t think of
saving them right now, you have to think about how brave you are in doing this. The letter
will bring your mother to her senses. She will leave him. When she gets your letter, wait
and see”. This was my aunt at her best, control. She was a master at control,
manipulation and doing things one way, her way.
I remember that moment, I turned off my feelings. I had lived in fear for so long. What she
was saying, I wanted to be true. But inside I knew my mother would never, ever leave him
and in the end everyone I left behind would hate me.
There could have been healthy choices. But all the people around me were to say the
least, dysfunctional in a very severe way. My aunt should not have pitted me against my
family, used me as a pawn. However here’s an interesting fact, I allowed it. I definitely did
allow it, and there was no way back.
Its taken me a long time to see unless I pray and have a healthy plan for my life,
I may follow someone else down Into the darkness. There is no turning around
once we choose and go down that road. There is no way back.
Life decisions are like that. IF only I had known how easy it is to follow HIM. One little
prayer asking for guidance works! THE REASON IS THIS; IT IS UP TO ME, ALL UP TO ME.
I COME INTO THIS WORLD WITH FREE WILL - JESUS WILL NEVER PUSH HIMSELF ON TO ME.
This is true and an amazing awareness. Once I understand this, I make good choices.
This is one of my favorite sayings by Calvin Coolidge.
PERSISTENCE
“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not;
Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full educated derelicts.
Persistence and Determination alone are omnipotent.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So just imagine how powerful I can feel with prayer, persistence and determination!
“Do I have a spiritual plan for my own life today?”
NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW
“One Chance” Blog #84
How many chances have I ignored to bring healing into my life?
What do I see, feel and hear now, when I look around me?
Is my every day the same old sameness?
The dictionary defines “once in a lifetime chance” as a chance of opportunity afforded
to one that is, or seems unlikely to ever come about about again”.
I look back and I remember years ago…..
Living with a remarkable, unhappy older aunt who had become a sad, sick, self-abused
alcoholic. My aunt has lost everything she had dedicated her life to. She wound up living
at her fathers house with two other sisters in a big old colonial. Day after day she would
sit at the kitchen table picking at her face and circling the want ads in the newspaper with
a big black pen. She was trying to find a new chance at a job and she did this daily.
However, hours gone by, now late afternoon finds her sneaking down the hallway to the
half bath off the kitchen. There, safely hidden in the water tank behind the toilet she
gleams artificial courage. Taking sip after sip from the bottle of booze, this becomes her
daily ritual. With courage safe in hand, and many drinks later, she slips into her coat and
quickly walks down, around the corner, to the neighborhood bar for reinforcement. This
has became her life and her daily motto, “Whose kidding who”.
Now weeks and months and years have gingerly gone by. This self-styled, petite and p
owerful woman had been the President of the American Business Association in her city.
She owned a lovely two story home by a lake. My confident, classy, “tweeds and Channel”
Aunt was smartly dressed. She had met a man who was also confident, handsome and
classy. They had fallen in love. A gigantic wedding ensued and after they were married,
they seemed to have it all. Yet, my aunt and her husband were both heavy drinkers and
unbeknownst to my aunt, she had married a cheater. So in the two years they were
married, she was lied to, deceived and cheated on. My aunt had absolutely no clue until
her husband told her he had gotten a young girl pregnant. There was no remorse. At this
point, he decided to up and leave their lovely home, their Scottish Terrior dog and he
never looked back or saw his wife again.
What then happened to his devoted wife, my aunt? She still had a chance. There was a
good, healthy choice she could have made to change her life to good. Yet, I watched this
woman fall apart in front of my eyes. She in turn, day after day, systematically destroyed
every part of her life that was good. Her job, her reputation, her self worth went out the
window. How do I know this?
“Because birds of a feather flock together”
My aunt knew that my mother (her sister) had married and had three children. Her
sister was married to an abusive alcoholic (my father) and my aunt called my mother:
“We can all live in my house together, it will be good for all of us, come now!” This was the
beginning of seven years of nightmarish drinking, fighting and fear. After seven years my
aunt lost her home. My mother and father and us children were thrown out. My aunt was
put in a treatment center. (One of many.) The cold, Fall, day we all moved I was in the
middle of sixth grade. I can still see her being escorted to a cab in her nightgown with a
thick fur coat slung over her shoulders.
No idea where she was, the night before had been beyond passing out, now black outs
were the recurring theme. Later on, riddled with alcoholism, cancer and sadness, her life
was over. She had lost any chance of changing. For my aunt had placed all her faith, all
her belief, all her confidence in another human being! With her faith, and trust and belief
in her husband gone, she allowed this person and this situation to destroy her
forevermore. She had put her faith in another man and my Aunt had no faith in God Now
depression, sadness and drinking had become her closest friends.
No good comes from drinking, drugs and vapes. Only dark decisions left to chance.
Today you can take a chance and do it differently! However, I tell you this story because
whether you are 17 or 87 we all have something in common, we can choose today
differently. This new day gives me a new choice.
I understand now I can live from my higher self choosing inner guidance that is good.
If I feel anxious, I can go outside and walk 15 minutes one way and 15 minutes back.
I can pray and walk and say affirmations. I get one chance today to live healthyl
I leave you with this powerful message from a small book someone recently sent me:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I just had to stop and take a chance you would listen. Sometimes I quietly smile
and let that feeling silently sink in. How fortunate I am to be in this world with you.
Thank you for keeping my heart happy and my soul smiling. You see, not all angels
have wings. But they’re angels all the same. You can tell who they are by the way
they make everyone around them feel more hopeful and happy and more at peace…
And the way they make everything in life just a little more complete.
So this is for you, for the times you forget how amazing you really are”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How comforting it is to know someone feels this way about me -
IF you had one chance today to send this to someone, who would it be?
For this is where my heart should reside. A beautiful thought in life is we are all in this
together.
Believe with me, “I now have a chance to change in a healthy way.”
Know this: My lord is my rock. Nothing replaces HIM at the helm, for with
Jesus Christ in my heart, all things are possible.
“ISN’T IT TIME TO TAKE ONE CHANCE ON HIM?
NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW
“Price of Pain” Blog #83
It is possible to capture the dilemma of a painful moment, and learn a powerful lesson!
In pain, do I allow myself to search deep inside me?
Can I understand what purpose there is in pain?
Do I seek to learn more from pleasure or my pain?
Time after time we hear someone say; “its just too painful to relive that again”, or the
comment, “the painstaking truth is this…”
Where and when we derive pleasure, can be so fleeting. It can come from another
person, a funny movie, a drink - more drinks. How in all my pleasure and my pain, do I
discern and purposely choose to develop a “sense of true self?”
Every day as life goes by, the stakes get higher and the years go faster and choices
become harder. In all these situations, not many of us are using a “spiritual roadmap”
to direct our way. It is critical to construct an inner sense of self. This is how we find out
who we are inside! Otherwise there are no inner resources to fall back on.
in Painful times we remain empty!
So in painful moments, many of us choose to use pills to dull the pain, dull the senses.
So many people we speak to over the years complain, “I don’t know why this ever
happened to me?” “Why DID this painful event get dropped on me?” “Why do I have to go
through all this pain and misery anyway?”
MAYBE I AM SUPPOSE TO BE LEARNING A POWERFUL LESSON ABOUT MYSELF!
So often we become pressured into believing the ideas and viewpoints of other negative
attitudes over our own inner guidance!’’ One minute we are happy with one person and
the next minute, sad with someone else. More painful interactions with family members
and the list goes on like a roller coaster. Year after year after year. I consider this to be a
“false sense of self”. For inside my core I am suppose to be -
“So strong that nothing can disrupt my peace of mind”.
So what’s happening out there? Can we accept this, “My body IS the temple of God.
It is only then that the painful process of maturing can be less painful.”
My living, is all about ME learning all about Me, learning my lessons and helping others.
Just because a person ages does not mean that they mature. ONLY IF we are gaining
spiritual understanding each day that we live, can we become wiser and handle reality
around us in a healthy way. Therefore, I choose NOT to lie, I want to rid my life of
resentment and anger and my painful past memories. So here is a great idea, I start a
Daily Journal all about my feelings and I keep track of my anger, resentment and fear.
Then at the end of the year, I see how I have matured and burn the journal! My attitude
will determine my outcome.
NEW RULES for MYSELF:
No matter the pain - I address it and do the right thing.
I will live in Truth only.
I accept the painful process of MY LIFE and let go of darkness!
Did you know: ‘IN LIFE YOU WILL BE AS HAPPY AS YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE”?
YET, life comes at us unrelentlessly. Life comes Down to just so many hours in the day.
Think about this, there are 4400 weeks in a lifetime of 85 years. I am now determined to
make each day count.
I serve My Lord Jesus Christ. For He resides in me, HE rescued me and I am safe.
Can I accept the price of pain HE paid for me and open my heart to HIM today?
NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW
“Desperation” Blog #82
If you really want to make God laugh - tell him your plans!
When a person gets desperate, the mind starts racing, overthinking takes place, wrong
decisions are likely made! Every single thing I expect to go “my way” today, will it?
No matter what I do still there are those days to climb back out of darkness.
This is Desperation. So what is the recipe for healing? These are questions every single
person has asked of themself. Every one of us have gone through some form of darkness
in our daily living.
This is LIFE. The raw, down to earth feelings of living with disappointment.
However, “TRUTH” finds the person who is brave enough to pray for HIS help.
For HE is here right now.
It is a strong person who knows and believes it is possible to climb out of darkness.
Don’t be afraid, for all of us have been there. Nothing to fear. Believe in Jesus Christ.
It is the courageous person who gets back up and refuses to see darkness anymore.
So how to pick yourself back up? Just say 4 small words, “Please help me Lord”.
This is the only way HE comes because we all have “FREE WILL” to do things our way!
It is time now, when you know you feel helpless, time to show “self” the way out.
Deep inside us all, there is a knowing that there is light at the end of each dark tunnel.
N0 one can make us do a single thing we do not want to do. I’ve said it time and time
again in many of my blogs. The main difference between one person and the next, is
“CHOICE”.
The knowing we have “free will” can turn out to be frightening. Free will can prove to be
overwhelming. Free will can be extremely disruptive. I have learned to understand this
now. So every morning I wake up asking for HIS help. I know I can’t possibly do it alone
anymore. It’s just too damn hard to be all alone internally. I feel HIM with me now.
Because of this angelic awareness, I have seen my life change in many remarkable ways.
My mind, not racing any more. I do not try to plan out every outcome. I give up my will
and let HIS will be done working within me all day and every day, and trust in every
situation. Many of us are fearful of our future. Literally, not just fearful but stuck in a dark
place of “not wanting to let go” of someone who may have hurt us deeply. Can’t forgive.
Denying truth. Going over and over, alienating loved ones.
THIS CAN ALL STOP NOW.
Whatever happens, I will not give in to the darkness!
I listened to Glen Beck the other morning - He shared that the Number One song in
America today is: “Rich Man North of Richmond” by Oliver Anthony.
The crux of the song is about alienation from everything! Above all, the deep decline of
America today. He infers why bother with anything other than drugs and alcohol, when life
just isn’t worth living anymore? Wow. What a defeating message.
Glen Beck went on to share how many people are buying into this belief! A belief that
couples itself with no faith in anything. A belief is nothing. Who even wants to GO to
church anymore? Anything and everything is justified for personal gain. Why get married
anymore? Everything is so easy. Just live together right? A belief that Life has no intrinsic
purpose but to live day in and day out, one day to the next, with no spiritual deep belief.
Now, more than ever, there is such a powerful need for inner spiritual truth. I remember
after Mother Theresa got the Nobel Peace Prize and a newscaster asked her what can we
possibly do to help stop all the evil in the world? She said, “One person at a time”. We all
know who we are. So where do I start?
I could not begin to share with you how overwhelming my life became, right after I
thought I had obtained everything in my life, to perfection. Yet, I was not in control
of the unexpected. That one hot summer July morning when I least expected it, the
bottom fell out. There was a murder in my family. At that moment, my life changed
forevermore. I was totally unprepared for the “unexpected.” This dark event caused me to
plummet to the blackest realm of living.
Finally, when I could take it no more, I searched and began to dig so deep, that I refused to
stop until “Life would make some spiritual sense to me”. That is when I experienced a
miracle myself! That is when I came face to face with the Holy Spirit.
In my heart, I know I daily I fight the darkness that tries to take over myself with desperate
feelings, but now I have HIS help and HIS guidance and HIS light. Desperation can take
over any one of us, when we least expect it.
So I believe daily, it’s all up to me. I feel secure when I take HIM into my heart.
What do I want? Where am I going? Who AM I? These are the questions that keep me
focused. I must now decide to discipline my day and learn to discern. To be able to
choose wIth inner judgement of being in the world and not of the world. To learn to be so
spiritually strong, I will turn off the “television of life”, not buy into drama! Be above it.
I am here to learn my own lessons, stay prayerful and not judge anyone!
Can I dig my way out of desperation today?
NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW
“Is It About Me?” Blog #81
Who is in my world today that is my “teacher”?
What am I suppose to be learning that is so important?
Where are these “lessons” that I am hearing about anyway?
When we are small children there is security in knowing the most important decisions that
are made for us is by an adult. When we become adults, life gets hard. There is no part
of life that does not hold a lesson to learn from. Some of us will question this immediately
saying, “why can’t I just live my life the way I want?” Well, we can, this is called “free will”.
I believe every person alive has free will to do as they please. Yet, it is in the “CHOICE” that
makes all the difference.
The Ladder of Life is a fascinating journey. Whether a person wants to or not, they are
caught up in the journey, one day at a time. For time waits for no one. It is in this journey
that we learn lessons that are so imperative to our spiritual growth here on
earth. People will meet total strangers sometimes in the strangest circumstance, and this
will change their life forever. One never knows how the “twisted hand of fate’ can change
a situation and a life in a permanent fashion.
I remember a long time ago when I was getting some counseling for anxiety and my
therapist said to me: “Your feelings toward other people are actually mirrors of yourself”.
The very first person I thought about was my father. “How could that be?”, I thought. He
was an alcoholic his whole life. My father was mean spirited toward our family. My father
never spent a sober day enjoying his children. How in the world could he be a mirror of
myself? What was I suppose to learn?
I struggled with drinking. Also I needed to learn about forgiveness toward him. Yet, it took
years for me to understand that there are many facets of the human personality. Just
because I did not like some parts of who he became, perhaps I needed to look much
deeper. Eventually, I found that my fathers drinking DID affect me tremendously.
Subconsciencely, I learned to drink a lot too. Later in life when I became a full fledged
adult, my nights were filled with lots of drinking. How could I judge this man, when I too
was doing the exact same thing? Not to mention the fact that in the Bible there is an
incident where a woman is brought to the town square to be stoned to death for adultery.
Jesus is there. Just before the scribes and people were to pick up stones and throw them
at this woman - Jesus said: “You who is without sin should cast the first stone”.
Every single one of the people in the crowd put down their stones and quietly walked
away. I feel my life is all about me when it comes to judgement, blame and forgiveness.
I have family members throughout my life that I have been very angry with. I have carried
judgements. I have felt anger. I have blamed. At the end of the day, there are powerful
lessons to be learned here for ME.
I must learn about forgiveness! I must learn about judgement, “Judge not, lest ye be
judged”. “Judgement is mine, saith the Lord”, and of course my favorite:, “There but for the
grace of God…..go I”
Every day, every where, every minute we have something to learn from life. Whether it is
from a family member, or a friend, or a situation that caused us to stop, turn around and
take in that moment. Whether we are single or married, or living alone or with other
people we must see the choice we have each day. Say in prayer; “Thank you Lord, for
helping me to be in this world, but not of this world”.
I treasure the moments when I am challenged. I thank God for the times when I am
struggling. I am always grateful for the lessons I learn in every day life because this is
where I experience soul growth! We stretch internally and find such great love and feel an
abundance of God’s light. I look now for the people that are in my life to show me a bright
light, a deeper awareness and a chance to grow spiritually with HIS truth. Think hard
today about a person or situation or event that is bothering you?. I Find a moment to go
deep inside the heart and pray.
Why do I FEEL this is happening to me? What can I learn from it? Where am I casting
blame? Can I try to remember the “Inner light of love” guiding me along? This will help
me grow internally quickly! So many years of insisting of doing things my way and never
knowing to pray, “Not my will today but THY will be done”.
So now, taking a deep breath, I sit back, fold my hands and pray. I know my life will work
out exactly as it is suppose to. I have let go of all judgement. I have let go of all blame. I
have let go of all anger, for this is the way it is suppose to be. Every person is on their own
journey. I can only work on me. It is all about me.
Can I find a moment today to learn all about me?
NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW