“Why live today?Blog #112
How can I care for others if I don’t care for myself?
Where AM I getting my courage to start my new day?
Why do I feel so hopeless at this point in my life?
It is not up to another person to make ME happy. I wake up each morning and say to
myself, “this is going to be my best day possible”. I look back on my life and I now CLOSE
THE DOOR. It’s time for focusing on the NOW. Do you know how I keep my dignity? I DON’T
LOOK BACK.
I try my very best not to complain today about anything! All I have to do is look around
me and I see that I am blessed in so many ways. My father used to tell me, “Never let a
day go by, BUT learn something new”. I feel good when I speak to someone who is
calling me and “I am not complaining about anything”. I look at it like this, “IF someone is
calling me on the phone, who knows what their problems may be”? It’s important to have
endless kindness and NOT COMPLAIN. I am trying very hard over the next few weeks until
Easter, not to judge anyone. I want to SEE anyone and everyone I know for just who they
are! Leave it at that.
Here is amazing quote that I keep with me all the time. I read and re-read it.
“I declare before God and my family, that my whole life, whether it be long or short, will
be devoted to doing good, learning lessons and helping others…”
Now, who do you think wrote that? The Queen of England wrote that and she lived to be
ninety six years old! Someone may say, yes, but look at the life she got to live treated like a
Queen! Maybe, but life is never like we imagine it and especially when we try to judge how
someone else’s life is or was.
Here is one tiny example of something that happened to the Queen of England, that few
people know about. She was sound asleep in her bed and a deranged man broke into
the castle, climbed up, through her window and sat by her bed and woke her up! He
could have killed her on the spot, yet she kept her inner spiritual courage and talked to
him about his needs for over twenty minutes! Wow. Not many of us realize what inner
strength we have until we really need it!
After all my trials and pain and sorrow, one time I was speaking to a very wise therapist
who shared amazing pearls of wisdom with me. “Take your mind off of your own
problems and be determined to make a positive difference in someone else’s life”. That
rang a big bell and made so much sense. I can’t really worry and fret and complain
about myself, if I am truly helping another human being, can I?
He ended by saying to me; “I believe the point of living is to create goodness all the
time. People need to see in you, the things they WANT to believe in”. The suffering and
pain we go through, just gives us stability, serenity and strength to go through a new day.
“Grief is the price we all pay for Love”. The Queen of England spoke and believed this. So
my counselor shared this and when I look in “Light places” I see it, it’s everywhere. So I
want to create change in a positive way, all through my day.
Today, what are my choices? I can sit in a room, stare out the window and think about
my past, over and over and over again. OR I can find courage to change. DO something
positive for myself right this minute.
It’s time I accept the fact, IF I am reading this, the teacher is here now. Truth has a face
and name = Jesus Christ, is the only way I find courageous change. We get closer to
Jesus by the way we live in truth, humility and forgiveness. The decision to heal myself
is the first step, every angry moment is a step away. Healing for myself releases me
from fear, my mind focuses on Jesus Christ now.
Can I stop being angry just for today?
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Believe or Broken? Blog #111
The one person I dwell on today with anger, can I let them go?
Can I stop trying to blame someone else for my distress?
Where are my negative thoughts taking me?
I know the bad stuff that happens around me is there, but I don’t have to think about it. I
don’t have to watch the television or listen to the news or watch anything that depresses
me. I can handle my own life and just stay away from all the bad, right? Not really, if only
it were as simple as that! Although my life is NOT about other peoples lives, MY LIFE IS NOT
ABOUT FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF EITHER. My life is not about remembering all the bad
things I FEEL someone else did to me in my past. My life is not about figuring out “why
people act the way they do toward me”. THIS is a waste of time. IF ANY PART OF MY DAY IS
FOCUSED ON FIGURING OUT “THE WHAT, HOW AND WHY”, SOMEONE HAS DONE SOMETHING TO
ME, I AM FOCUSED ON NEGATIVITY. HOW MUCH OF MY DAY DWELLS ON THOSE THOUGHTS?
Positivity comes from this, life is all about finding MY truth, my forgiveness for
myself and Letting it all go. I cannot bring the past back. Yesterday is GONE.
Truth is all about me finding my forgiveness. I will have an understanding heart when I
accept my role in life and all the things that go on around me. How do I build someone up
today? Many of us have unfinished business within our family. We have relationships that
have gone bad and different things we have said or done, have often caused a
cataclysmic failure. or complete breakdown. Perhaps one family member wants a
reconciliation based on certain conditions and the other family member only wants to
remember “past problems and events”. Therefore, no peace can be attained because
everyone is in a different space. This is occurring everywhere. Sometimes it is enough just
to pray for them and say “I forgive them for any past hurts, I know we cannot be in each
others lives, so I am moving on”. IF I CANNOT DO THIS, I REMAIN BROKEN. IF I BELIEVE HE IS
HERE FOR ME, I START TO HEAL.
Remembering, “I am more broken then I could ever imagine, yet I am more loved than I
could ever believe possible. The truth is I am not owned by my brokenness My
brokenness is not permanent. I have been transformed into something brand new!”
These words were recently shared with me on Halo. It was comforting to hear this,
realizing, I am not an island who is alone in my grief. There are so many people exactly in
this same situation as I am. I continue to work on me. Now I see every time I am upset by
another persons actions, I give away my own power! Sometimes it’s not possible to stop
someone from “dumping darkness” on to me by the words they say. However, with my
Prayer of Protection in place, I keep a lid of protection over me and DO NOT take the bait.
Protected in HIS light! People who are NOT living in the light love to wallow in darkness with
gossip, and criticizism and judgement. This is easy to recognize, trust me. So I say to self,
“I AM NOT BROKEN, FOR I BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF Jesus Christ AROUND ME.
Every day it is imperative I PUSH away hopelessness and uncontrolled anger. For we live in
a “culture of rage” that is sweeping the country. People are out and about with little or no
religion in their hearts. They justify no need for religion. Again as I have said before, I
cannot fix another human being, yet I can work on me.
How do I find my own courage? I must go deeper, I have to try harder, I pray more. “HE
listens when I pray. HE hears me when I ask for help. HE is here now. This is the simple
fact of HIS truth. JESUS is fundamental TRUTH. ONLY TRUTH.
Daily prayer brings balance into my life and I realize little by little that I am NOT owned by
my past. Nothing in my past is part of my present life. No person, no event, no situation.
Each day I am more balanced and I understand God has not forgotten me. Just because
I can’t hear his voice right now or feel he hasn’t answered my prayer according to MY
expectation, or MY needs. Everything in life is according to HIS time-table. Did I ever think
maybe I decided NOT to want to learn my lesson? Maybe I‘m just stuck in my own head……
Am I really THAT wise? Then and only then do my lessons get repeated in different ways
until the Universe gets my attention. Real Faith is Believing what we cannot see, belief in
HIM.
So demanding “proof” Jesus Christ really DOES exist? Then look around, it is all around!
There are miracles today everywhere, just look on line! You can find hundreds of
testimonials from different people ALL over the world.
Remembering my first visit to Santa Fe, New Mexico, I witnessed an amazing real-life
picture in the heart of town. We had only just arrived and were staying in an old authentic
Spanish hotel. The Concierge was sharing with us some of the “famous tourist
attractions”, one of which was an infamous old chapel. Becoming famous because
people have continued coming for years from all over the world for healings and any kind
of problem. The Concierge said there were dozens of crutches and physical therapy
devices left at the spot giving testimony to their instant cures!
The story is around an illuminated “golden cross” found in the desert. This is where the
church was built years ago and the the holy dirt around this cross inside this chapel has
remained. Even more miraculous and amazing is “how the staircase to the choir loft” was
built! No man was ever found afterward. This golden staircase now exists in the middle of
the chapel, visible for all to see. One of the most amazing features is the circular staircase
that goes up to the choir loft, has not one single nail! Even more miraculous is the wood
that has been used in the staircase. It’s not wood from any where in this world! How do
we explain this kind of phenomena? IF we but look, miracles, and more miracles are ALL
around us and yet it is in the unseen power of HIS energy that sustains us immediately. I
AM not broken, if I only believe. So, I ask this question,
“Is there a way today to go deeper, believe in HIS miracles?”
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“Angels Answer” Blog #110
Do I feel alone right now, is nothing out there?
Do I wrack my brain for answers that never come?
Does the idea of a Guardian Angel seem just absurd?
I believe Angels come, and God answers calls according to HIS “time table”, NOT OURS.
The angelic time table is euphoric. TIMING, in the sense that we can assume everything
takes place as we want it, DOESN’T ALWAYS HAPPEN. The one part of life we have no
control over is the “unexpected”.
I have done a blog about my past before, but not from this perspective.
Real estate was absolutely crazy that hot summer day and I was, as usual, always in a big
hurry. Young and filled with my own ideas of how to make lots of money in real estate, I
had become extremely successful. I always thought I knew it all. My husband and I loved
selling houses and our life was filled with a young toddler, a beautiful newer home in the
suburbs, and our golden lab named Sunny. We had everything we thought we wanted,
but we weren’t close to God. Things were about to change drastically, in fact the next day,
my life would never, ever be the same. Tragically for a long time, it remained that way.
It’s important to add here, “thank God and thank my guardian angel, I listened to my inner
guidance”. For in spite of “destiny”, I was saved in so many important ways. However, this
morning, I was furious!
Dressed all in white and suddenly, our little eighteen month old boy spilled his grape juice
everywhere. I was going to be late, I was so upset and of course, only focused on the
immediate minute. I went to go outside to shake off some of the spilled food with grape
juice all over and swearing under my breath, yet, the gorgeous hot summer morning
caught me by surprise. Instantly, it was so calming. The brilliant blue sky and the sun on
my face, caused me to stop and listen. Internally, I could very clearly hear a small voice
speaking to me, “why are you going to work on this perfect summer day? You could call
your mother and take her grandson to the beach, like you have never done”.
Yes, It was true. I had become a workaholic. Summer, fall, winter, spring…the seasons
didn’t matter. I had waited for five years since our marriage for this beautiful little boy.
Now eighteen months old and he was here and I was right back at it, working day and
night. But this moment, the voice would not stop. I felt so guilty and I kept hearing those
words, ”call your mother, call your mother”. Louder, and stronger. At first, it seemed crazy!
I had a morning filled with appointments. Now, it did not matter. How strange this was?
But as I look back now, this was an “ANGEL MOMENT’.
I found myself almost in a daze. Walking back into the kitchen, my husband now
appeared. I shared with him my thoughts and to my amazement he said, “No problem
honey, I’ll cover for you, call your mom and take a break”.
I still remember running upstairs to change my clothes. It was exhilarating. I felt so
strangely sure this was the only right thing to do at this moment. My mother appeared at
my house within the hour. She had brought three things that I will remember forever. A
thermos of lemonade, an old soft quilt and a big black umbrella. How perfect for this day.
All the way over to the beach, which was not even three miles, my son sat on her lap. Over
forty years ago, no worry about seatbelts! We spent the early part of the day talking and
laughing and watching her grandson bring joy to each new moment. As the sun grew
hotter on that perfect summer day, she walked him down to the concession stand for ice
cream. The picture still vibrant in my mind as I watched the chocolate ice cream run
down his chunky little cheeks. She laughed as they walked slowly on the sandy beach,
both carefree and barefoot. The big old umbrella brought shade to his small body as he
lay down on the soft quilt. Now dried and changed, he quickly fell sound asleep. The
afternoon slipped sadly away faster than I will ever remember. Now as we came close to
the end of our day, the very next ANGEL MOMENT arrived. For across the grassy knoll of
the lake park grounds, came walking my husband with a big picnic basket surprise dinner!
Smiling away he said; “I knew I would find you girls here, so I brought us some treats”.
How in the world could he know to do this? We had not spoken since morning. How could
our timetables be so in sync? We could have long been gone. Especially him, he had so
much to do! What came over him to do this now?
I do know as surely as the day I was born, Angels exist and they are definitely present
when needed. What an amazing array of food. A picnic dinner of chicken and French
bread, cheese and red grapes and last but not least, my husband said, “I hope you don’t
mind honey, but I brought our last bottle of white wine in the fridge, I knew it would go so
well with the picnic dinner”. As he poured my mother a glass of cold white wine, I watched
as she bit into a grape, giving half to her cherished grandson. Smiling she said, “I have
never had a better day in my life as I had today with you kids, I won’t forget it……..”
The following morning it was to be “back to normal” as scheduled. We were again, very
busy and my mother had offered to baby sit our son as we both had appointments and
crammed schedules. Yet, now is where the third ANGEL MOMENT came into full view. I
went to start my car, and it was dead. My car would not turn over, although much later in
that day, it started right up. WHY?? Therefore, my husband decided to keep our son with
him and not drop him off at my mothers house while we worked. Instead, he drove me to
our real estate office for my 8:30 “floor duty” and we arrived right on time. I would check in
with my mother later to tell her this……
However, things got very dark in my life quickly.
For on this day at 9:20 a.m. on a beautiful summer day, my wonderful mother was brutally
murdered by a drug addict. Although this was over forty years ago, I still see it all crystal
clear. My life forever changed. I went full circle into denial, drinking and darkness. Nothing
was ever to be the same for me, again.
Yet, eventually as I tried to sort through all my perilous pain, all my horrifying darkness and
all the mounting misery, I somehow began to see because of the “ANGEL MOMENTS” my
life was spared so much more pain! For our son was not harmed, we never brought him
to my mothers house! I had no regrets about spending time with her because I listened to
Angel voices, I spent my mothers last day with her in such a beautiful peaceful, private
way. My husband listened to angels too, and thereby brought us a beautiful “last summer
supper” we all shared together. None of this could ever have happened without Angels,
our Guardian Angels. They are all around us and God hears us now.
“Can I listen today, when my Guardian Angel speaks softly to me?”
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“Flying Blind” Blog #109
How many “Red Flags” are in my life right now?
Where do I get courage to face all my darkness?
Why is it urgent to find my “higher self” above all?
The other day I was driving in my car, coming back from a fairly long journey.
I decided to turn on a talk show to keep my mind occupied. A lady had called in to ask Dr.
Laura what to do about a family relationship. She stated her mother was no longer talking
to her because she was a Christian and the callers’ mother was an atheist. Dr. Laura
listened, then asked some questions. She wanted to know how the caller was raising her
children? The children had been baptized and were attending Sunday school. They were
in a Christian elementary school and the caller told her mother she was not to tell her
children “God did not exist”. IF her mother came to visit, she was not to have any
discussion on the spiritual side of life. Therefore the Mother had decided she wanted
nothing more to do with her daughter, son-in-law or her three small grandchildren. The
mother felt her daughter was filling the minds of their little children “with lies, deceit and
fabricated fantasy about angels” and she wanted no part of it. The daughter was crying
on the air and felt sad over what had transpired. This young mother went on to state how
she had been raised with no religion and had always felt afraid. She did not know why she
felt this way. The caller went on to state there was a time in her life when she had been
very depressed over her mother and fathers divorce and no friends at school. Because
she was raised with “no faith”, she had come close to ending her life. Somehow she
muddled through this sad time. It was only after meeting her husband in college, who was
a good Christian Methodist, that she suddenly began to find more purpose to life. She
began to explore Christianity on her own. This is when she started to feel a sense of
wholeness. The caller went on to say she and her family were blessed with good health.
She had been an only child, and it was always lonely at home. Never any talk about
religion. The caller wished her mother could experience what she had found, but realized
this was not to be.
How many families are divided because of no spiritual belief?
God equals love and love is the most powerful force in the world. Imperative that we
teach our children all about God and his only Son who came into the world to show us
“how to live with light, love and laughter in our lives”. People who abuse their bodies, use
drugs, pills and drinking must understand….
“THE BODY IS THE TEMPLE OF GOD”
WHEN WE ABUSE OUR BODY IN ANY WAY, WE HAVE LOST OUR SELF RESPECT.
There is THE greatest chance of success in family, in life and in personal gain when we
accept Jesus. We fly with wings of Eagles and we DO NOT fly blind. So this brings me to
say, “what in the world is so frightening about being a Christian, living my faith and
believing in Jesus Christ”? NOTHING.
I find it fascinating to ask a non-believer what about Jesus scares you?
My father used to say, “You will never find an Atheist in a fox-hole at war”.
There is no atheist that can honestly answer why Jesus is scary? The only purpose Jesus
had when he walked on earth, was to Help, Heal and Honestly change mankind for the
better. Only beautiful, brilliant, blazing white light comes to us from this belief system. NO
single source of dark information goes with the name Jesus Christ. Where is there a
person on earth who agrees to be tortured, whipped, nailed to a cross to die and with HIS
last living breath says these words:
“FATHER FORGIVE THEM, FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO’
Yet, STILL people everywhere, INSIST ON GOING IT ALONE.
PEOPLE REFUSE INTERNAL SPIRITUAL HELP. They stubbornly are “Flying blind”.
These people live life on the edge, not caring who is BOSS over their dark energy and what
they think, and feel and do. So many of us are living alone in isolation. How do we
rationalize away darkness? Turn on the tv! Look at the phone! A young girl jogging,
attacked raped and killed in mid day…. an eleven year old girl asleep in her bedroom,
burglars break in and rape and kill…. mass school shooters….. need I go on? Darkness
exists as surely as the light around us waits to heal, protect and watch over us. However,
we still have “FREE WILL” HIS light is not forced upon us. I MUST ASK FOR HELP. Imperative I
have MY map so I am NOT “Flying Blind”. Therefore, through out my life, I say a powerful
prayer of protection:
St. Michael Prayer of Protection
“St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle,
be our protection against the wickedness and snares
of the devil. May God rebuke him we humbly pray;
And Do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God,
cast into hell Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the
world seeking the ruin of souls.” Amen.
This is a protection start to every day and this help me avoid danger zones. When I say
“flying blind”. I attribute this to those of us that decide Jesus is NOT for them. Then I awake
in the morning and “Clean out” my thinking, stop my focus on others and only focus on
“me”!
Who is my BOSS over all my internal thoughts, feelings and actions?
AM I so brazenly brave and callous to believe it is me? Where can I possibly find all the
tools on my own to defy dark thoughts, overcome negative input, and take out all the evil
energy around me AND do this daily”?
IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO ACHIEVE PEACE ON MY OWN. I guarantee this. I have been through hell
and back. There is no other way except to invite HIM into my heart. It is then I learn internal
resilient training in order to adapt to life around me. When I admit and see and accept I
can’t do life on my own, that’s my key to say,
I ACCEPT, INVITE AND ASK YOU, JESUS TO BE IN MY BODY NOW. COME INTO MY LIFE NOW
LORD, I CAN NOT DO THIS ALONE. EVERY TIME I THINK I CAN, I GET THROWN A CURVE BALL.
THERES A BATTLE FOR MY MIND. IT’S EITHER ANOTHER PERSON, OR MY HEALTH, OR MY RACING
THOUGHTS I MUST ADMIT LORD, I AM POWERLESS OVER MY LIFE AND ASK YOU TO TAKE
OVER.
“Can I pray THIS powerful lhealing prayer, in all honesty?”
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“No Control?” Blog #108
The day was going fine …. until I heard that ”cruel remark”.
Anyone experience that? My mind is racing and It won’t stop.
How often has this happened? Then there’s….”everywhere I go, as busy as it is, I still feel
empty!” Of course who hasn’t felt this way too!
Todays anger takes control of so many of us, yet I will not let it control me! What does it
take to just “Let Go” and feel at peace? Do I know specifically how to control my temper
before it controls me? Certain thoughts have taken over at times and make my mind
almost a volcano of frustration, anger and fury! I have felt overwhelmed, more days than
not. At times I can rationalize that I have every right to these feelings, yet what do they do
to ME internally? Anger, stress, fear…..can age the body faster than one realizes.
Uncontrolled anger causes harm in so many parts of the body. Here are just a few that
can be attributed to uncontrolled stress and anger; headaches, insomnia, depression,
high blood pressure, strokes and heart attacks! So can I just imagine what day in and day
out of living this way brings?
During my life I now quickly learn to perceive peace. I understand that everywhere we
look, there is something happening that can be worrisome. Yet, I donot have to seek other
peoples problems! So do I actually have the answer for all the dilemma around me?
What am I so afraid of that keeps me pushing Jesus away? What kind of person have I
become? Is my heart good?
I must own who I am. I deliberatly work on how to harness my anger, stress and sadness.
If I am upset with another person, I am NOT working my plan! If I am judging another
person, I am not being honest with myself. When I focus working only on ME … then life
begins to balance brilliantly. There is no other good way out for me. I see I must abide with
this plan regardless. First and foremost, I decide to believe I am here, alive on earth for
only two reasons:
I am alive to learn my lessons and move quickly to the next lesson.
I am alive to help other people who are open to “learn, love and let go”.
It’s so easy to just get out of control quickly. We can take too many pills, we can drink too
many drinks, we can throw a tantrum and “really let them have it”. Power and control and
anger are all part of lower self thinking and living.
Just imagine if I wake up tomorrow morning and say to myself, “I will not lose my temper
today and I will not judge another human being, and I will not get angry". THIS IS WHEN I
BEGIN TO TAKE CONTROL OF MY LIFE IN A POWERFUL, POSITIVE, PERMANENT MANNER. I HAVE
NOTHING TO GAIN BY LIVING MY LIFE IN A SAD WAY. When I look back over the years and see
all the people that I FEEL hurt me, made me really angry and I have judged them, what
goodness has this given me? It does not matter what family I have come from. It does
not matter if I am alone or with other people. It does not matter if I have wealth or not.
What matters is in my heart. Do I have an understanding heart now? Can I control my
temper, control my anger and control my thinking? IF I can answer “Yes” to those three
questions, I am on way to learning to have an understanding heart. I must desire an
understanding heart because then I am able to ask HIM to see others through HIS eyes
only. So control of my life today, starts with my prayer this morning,
“Dear Lord, thank you for letting me see others through your eyes only”.
Many people are not able to pray this prayer, they do not want to. Many people are too
busy for Jesus Christ to fill their life, they are too busy worrying about themself, judging
another human being and “keeping score”. I understand at this stage of my life, its
important to go to bed every night and be at peace. I want to think peaceful thoughts,
feel at peace with myself and “let go”.
Here is a beautiful poem that sums it all up:
The Man in the Mirror
by: Dale Wimbrow
When you get what you want in your struggle for life,
and the world makes you King or Queen for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself and see what that guy has to say.
For it isn’t your mother, or brother or wife who judgement upon you must pass,
but the person whose verdict counts most in your life, is the one staring back
in the glass! He’s the one to please, never mind all the rest, for he’s with you
clear to the end. And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test, IF that
guy in the glass is your friend. You may fool the whole world down your pathway
of years, and get pats on the back as you pass. But your final reward will be
heartache and tears… IF you cheated that guy in the glass.
“I pray to let go of control. May I have an understanding heart?
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“Trouble Teacher” Blog #107
What about today, is it really special?
Where can I go to get the specific teaching I need quick?
Why is it so important for me to find THIS teacher now?
Most Americans are pretty aware of cerebrating February 14th as Valentine’s Day. In so
many different lives, people are expressing their feelings of “love” in the only way they
know best. There are presents, and candy and cards to give. It’s so important to feel and
want and be loved. That is what life is all about. Yet this February 14th is so much bigger
and so much more important and definitely more “life changing” than Valentines Day.
Today is Ash Wednesday. This is the first day of Lent in the Western Christian Church.
People attend services of Penitence across the nation and around the world. They go to
church, and during the service, ashes are marked on ones forehead in the sign of a cross.
Thus begins a time for 40 days, until Lent ends, when a person decides to acknowledge
Lent with or without doing penitence.
“Penitence”. The action of feeling or showing sorrow and regret for having done wrong;
repentance.” Wow. I wonder if there are many of us that wake up in the morning with
this thought, “I feel sorrow and regret for how I acted, or treated, or spoke to someone”.
The busy-ness of our daily life somehow puts this thought on a back burner. Still, it’s
important for me to find out who the most important teacher of my life is now? Although
we are all teachers to one another at some point, the number one teacher who gets me
through all my pain and trouble is only one man. What in the world sets him apart by me
stating this? Discipline. Jesus Christ went into the desert for 40 days and 40 nights and
fasted. He did not eat food. Why did he do this? The main reason is because he knew
what was ahead of him and he wanted to be prepared! HE NEEDED DISCIPLINE.
How do I prepare myself for taking on each and every day? Discipline is a key ingredient
to teaching myself to bring balance to my life. Many people may think about “Fasting” …….
Think about fasting….. but never do it. Fasting is a start to disciplining my life and searching
internally for the teacher who is waiting. HE is paramount to showing me the things that
are important to focus on and what to discard and leave behind. I can see that when I
begin to become aware of the importance of “being in the world and NOT of the world”,
I begin.
So, I believe that along with Discipline, I must have humility. I must learn to humble myself.
What exactly is humility? HUMILITY. A MODEST OR LOW VIEW OF ONE’S OWN IMPORTANCE;
HUMBLENESS.
There is a fascinating priest named Father Walter Ciszek. He was raised by Polish parents
in Pennsylvania and actually shocked his parents because he went from being a “very
bad gang member” into wanting to become a priest and volunteering to go as a Jesuit
Priest missionary to Russia. After being there one year, he led an extraordinary life of
suffering all because he believed he needed to have “radical surrender” and that all
human beings are weak and need God. He never stopped preaching to all the people
around him. Under false pretenses, he was convicted and sent to the darkest of Russian
prisons, for five years of solitary confinement. He never stopped praying. When this time
was up, he was then sent to Siberia for fifteen more years! This was in hopes the Russians
could break Father Ciszek, but they never did. He had a force of spiritual steel around him.
Nothing could break him. Father Ciszek believed there must be “radical surrender to God”.
He believed all human beings are weak and all human beings need God. He finally was
released in 1955 and wrote a book:
“To Russia with Love” Father Walter Ciszek (a few excerpts from his book)
“If you are in a situation or a difficulty, you can make a U-turn, instead of putting the blame
on something outside or on someone else; look within yourself to see how you have
contributed to the problem, and then find a way to restore peace to the situation…”
“You see, only the humble man or woman can teach Christ, can give him and his love to
others, because a proud man or woman just can’t really have Christ. The proud person is
so filled with himself, that there is no room for Christ……”
“Am I willing to look inside myself for the trouble teacher?”
NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW
“My Limits?” Blog #106
What am I waiting for?
Where is my thinking now taking me?
How can I possibly feel strong right now?
Everyone will agree that in twenty four hours time, we will see darkness and we will see
light. IF we only use that truth to stay focused on, we can gain a lot of ground. In order to
defy dark thoughts, there MUST be a replacement of good. In order to change bad habits
to good, there must be a replacement of GOOD HABITS ready to set in place. We all know
the statement, “they talk a good talk”. This means talking, and thinking and talking and
thinking and waiting…but what about the DOING? When I recognize what my limits are, this
is the beginning of a good plan to put in place.
First, I need to ask myself, what are my limits in this life I live? Here is my list -
1. What are limits of how much “outside noise/darkness” seeps into my life daily?
2. What are limits of good food going nto my body vs. bad, unhealthy food daily?
3. How do I limit people in my life who purposely bring me down to their level?
I only addressed three areas of “Limits” that I need to look at each and every day. Yet, my
“limits’ have been going on for years.
Thirty years or more ago, I realized I cannot drink alcohol. I used to drink. Yet, in my brain, I
cannot stop with “One drink” I would prefer the whole bottle. With this understanding and
acceptance and awareness. I was able to put a limit in place immediately. No alcohol. I
added to that no drugs at all. WHY? Because I donot want drugs and alcohol altering my
brain. I WANT TO THINK CLEARLY 24/7.
HERE IS ANOTHER CRITICAL LIMIT - TOXIC PEOPLE. Toxic people are people that live and
dwell and stay in darkness! HOW TO RECOGNIZE THESE PEOPLE?
They do not want to change! These people wake up and go to bed, unhappy. They LOOK
for things to be angry, sad and unhappy about. They dwell on all of their “situations they
have put themselves in” and sadly, they pull in others. IF I have not a friend in the world at
this moment, It is the way it is suppose to be. I must guard my inner self with the light of
love, and truth and laughter, and WAIT.
“My body IS the Temple of God”. Therefore, I DO NOT WANT TO ABUSE IT EVER. There will
always be a time for outside friendship. People appear in our life when they are suppose
to! (Bad and good) Now I MUST FOCUS ON ME. IF I AM OUT OF SORTS, I AM NEEDING TO
LOOK AT “What should I limit?”
Am I bringing in balance, belief in Jesus Christ and bravery? IF there is any part of my life
that is out of sorts, I need to reassess “my limits”. Who or what or where is bringing me
sadness now?
Perhaps there is a person that just cannot be in my life for awhile. THAT’S OKAY.
Perhaps I am burning the candle at both ends. Not getting enough sleep, not eating
healthy food, not bringing “spiritual food: prayer and mediation into my life.
Here is a simple question I ask myself today, “what can make me laugh now?”
Maybe I’ve been too hard on myself without bringing in complete forgiveness
There is a limit to what the human body can and will and must endure.
When I am not looking at “the truth” I can divert to other means of satisfaction. Outside
sources of the “wrong people”, drinking, pills, dark social media, it’s there. Most of us don’t
realize it….. but we are pretty hard on ourselves with looking back. When I talk about limits
today, there are limits of unbelievable hardship on myself IF I allow this to take place. My
Plan of Action requires “releasing past”.
LIMITS ACTUALLY CONTROL MY ENTIRE BEING FROM MORNING TO NIGHT.
There is the limit of not thinking bravely, limiting myself to what I will eat that is good for
me, limiting myself to who I want to be with that is healthy. Maybe I feel healthy people
are boring! Maybe I limit myself to saying I can’t cook, so why eat healthy food? I limit
myself to finding new healthy places to explore, either in person, and actually “going
there!” Or, online find new resources for “Healthy endeavors”. So if I am willing to admit it -
"All the limits I have placed in my life - Limit me wishing and hoping and thinking……these
are the very essence of LIMITATION.
Waking up this morning….. saying this, “I don’t feel good, my mind is distressed, no-one likes
me, I have no friends, no one understands me, I can’t find a place in this world, I don’t
belong! This kind of thinking is dark, dangerous and MUST GO. Here’s how I address these
thoughts, I wake up saying, “Thank you Lord for giving me this day to feel, act and do all
that I can in your name”. My mind is NOT distressed. My mind is healthy, filled with
potential and alert” I see that I am alone and at the moment no close friends - I thank you
Lord for bringing a companion into my life IF it is Thy Will not my will. I also feel completely
secure, settled and safe knowing you are at my side, I am not alone. I feel, know and
believe that YOU understand me Jesus and that’s all I need.
Lastly - I truly understand that right now, in this place, I am right where I am suppose to be
and I will do all I can to learn, and let go and love You, myself and my fellow man.
These are the thoughts that I wake up thinking now. I release my limitations on the dark
hold that tries to bind me. For it is way too often that we could spend an entire lifetime
living within “lasting limitations of sadness”. So, NO to that. I must SAY TO MYSELF TODAY, “I
IGNORE DARK LIMITATIONS. I AM INSTILLING HEALTHY LIMITATIONS. I FOCUS ON POSITIVE
THINKING. EACH MINUTE I DO THIS, THE CHAINS OF LIMITATION ARE BROKEN. I FOCUS AND
HEAR THESE WORDS FROM JESUS.”
“BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD.” Nothing can harm you if you do not let it. I limit
all darkness into my life. Jesus said, ” I AM THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD“. If I have all this
help internally around me, I am never alone.
“What limits in my life hold me back from good, healthy living?”
“Teach Me How?” Blog #105
Do I wake up today and think differently?
Did I put in place the tools I desperately need now?
Have I complete confidence in using my “Higher Self” approach?
So here’s a thought I just learned, ”things that bother me about other people are actually
inadequacies with myself”. It’s like looking in the mirror. It’s like seeing myself in others and
not being able to take it! If there is a part of me that has not taken on healing, I will SEE
this in other people around me. How to fix it?
Face it head on and say to self, “there but for the grace of God, go I. I do not judge that
person and I forgive them for whatever pain I have been caused. I let it all go now. It’s
fascinating to see and take in and try to understand what issues plague me daily? Do I
procrastinate? Am I putting off doing all the the necessary things that can help heal me
internally? This is a very big task. So many parts of my life ARE intertwined with other
people. Without realizing it when I judge their behavior, I am actually hurting myself. I
must realize that each one of us is on our own path. NO time for judgement because we
are here for two reasons only,
I am here to learn my own lessons and teach myself GOODNESS.
I I am here to help others IF they are open to it.
Every day I must do good things for my body, mind and my spirit. When I am stuck,
it’s because I am focusing on things that I myself cannot fix! This is where prayer,
and quiet, and the LIGHT OF THE LORD takes over. It’s essential I am KIND to myself.
When I worry and stress, I abuse myself internally and everything else around me
looks and feels and is different! I can’t do both things…… I can’t say that I will GIVE it
God and then worry. However, that is a big decision. This all revolves on how deep IS
my faith. What am I doing daily to improve it? I must read more inspiring books. IF
I don’t have them right now accessible, I can research anything that is inspirational,
uplifting and healing… ON-LINE. The mind is powerful and only me alone can protect
myself from the dangers of outside interference. So, I start with a powerful prayer:
“Today Lord, I thank you for giving me the helmet of higher self awareness. Thank you
Lord for insulating me in the spiritual steel armor of protection internally and externally
throughout my being, from this moment on.”
Now I AM fully protected inside and outside from all negative forces.
“When the student is ready, a teacher appears”. What in the world does this even mean?
Believe it or not, it is time for me to say to myself, “am I constantly in the the learning
process?” Just because I am out of school for years, does not mean I am not meant to
keep learning. I believe that all people around me are my teachers for different reasons.
Maybe I need to learn about gentleness and kindness and caring. I will therefore be put
into place with a person that is the opposite of this! They are cold, indifferent and not
approachable. Why is this? Most of all, the teacher within me, Jesus, shows me what I
NEED TO DO!
FOR IT IS NOT ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE, IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT ME. AM I GENTLE, AND KIND AND
CARING? IF SO, MAYBE THERE ARE OTHER ISSUES AT PLAY HERE. All the things that I am
missing are brought to the surface. Suddenly I desperately want what I cannot have.
However, forgiveness for others and self happens in a breath. We can bring it to the
surface, smile accept the “teaching moment”, learn from it, and MOVE ON. That is really
the extent of it, nothing more. Every single day is a lesson to learn from. Each of us is on
our own path and we need to learn from our pain and suffering and then grow from it.
Once we realize all things problematic are internal, I need to strive for my own inner
peace” Then nothing can disturb my sense of calm. Absolutely not one thought, or one
thing or one person.
IF we are constantly in the learning process, we accept readily all the difficulty with
another person who is trying to “push our buttons” as a RED ALERT. I know when I am
staying in a teachable moment by being curious, helpful and above all, humble. I am NOT
in a teachable moment if I am on the defense, self guarded, and ready to argue. This
always pushes people away. Above all, at this point, I may be given the lesson I am
suppose to be learning, yet I do not see it with anger around. When I am around another
human being that is close to me, do I ask myself internally, “What is my intention and
purpose for my relationship with this person?” IRONICALLY HERE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT
POINT I WANT TO MAKE,
I CAN ONLY LEARN MY LESSONS THAT I AM MEANT TO LEARN EACH DAY IF I AM OPEN,
READY AND RECEPTIVE TO THE LESSON THAT IS COMING TO ME.
I have always believed that I am constantly creating situations for myself that present
opportunities to learn the most powerful lessons. Most often the highest teachable
moment comes in my sadness, my pain and my desperation. This is where I am able to
search internally the hardest!
IF I REALLY WANT TO DISARM ANOTHER PERSON COMING AT ME IN THEIR ANGER, I CAN
IMMEDIATELY HUMBLE MYSELF. I CAN BE KIND. I STAY APPROACHABLE. THEY ARE SUDDENLY
CAUGHT OFF GUARD.
Remembering that I have a firm grasp on only speaking truth in any situation I encounter.
This is how I will always be in a “teachable mode”. I am open to learning MY OWN LESSONS,
NO MATTER HOW PAINFUL, NO MATTER HOW HARD, NO MATTER HOW OFTEN.
It’s really essential for me to believe that in order for me to “be open to teaching”. I must
take a big step back from all the thoughts going around in my head. Every day can be the
same old “song and dance” until we change the music. All of my habits daily are formed
by my routine. I must be open to positive change.
I am powerful in spiritual knowledge that my Lord stands at the helm of my ship and
only HE “sets my sail”.
So one of the greatest lessons I can now teach myself is in healing my inner self, I DO NOT
JUDGE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. Each of us is on our own learning path. Then the paradox
exists in my asking myself this….before I can be in a “teachable moment”, am I ready to
release all the fear of my past?
There is a powerful poem in the book;
A GIFT OF PEACE. Jeremy P. Tarcher
HEALING
Peace must come to those who choose to heal and not to judge. The decision to
heal and to be healed, is the first step to recognizing what you truly want.
Every attack is a step away from this, and every healing thought brings peace closer
Healing will flash across your open mind, as peace and truth arise,
to take the place of war and vain imaginings.
No one can ask another person to be healed. But he can let HIMSELF be healed.
And thus offer the other person what he has received.
Who can bestow on another person what he does not have?
And who can share what he denies himself?
Those whom you heal bear witness to your healing,
for in their wholeness you will see your own,
Our function is to let our minds be healed, that we may carry healing to the world,
exchanging curse for blessing, pain for joy, and separation for the peace of God.
All this above, I want to day teach myself and believe in my goodness and learn my
lessons one day at a time.
Can I be open to the teachings of HIM and my higher self awareness?
NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW
“Help Heal Me!” Blog #104
Where can I find the RECIPE for creating a healthy me now?
What keeps me going back to negative thoughts I’m thinking?
How is it possible to see my life healed, without holding on to old ways?
To start to do things differently in my own life, I have to wind it way down. I have to narrow
the scope and look at just today. Why is that? For one reason only. I only have today.
Yesterday is completely gone. Tomorrow can be a plan, but it’s not here yet. All I have
right this moment is today. I think my greatest issues have been in “looking back”. Even in
looking back to yesterday. Is this day like that one? Do I want to continue on with the
same old, same old? Of course not! So going forward in themost positive way possible
brings me to this conclusion, I DESPERATELY NEED HELP.
There is no way I can take this day, divide it up into a powerful, positive plan, without great
assistance from something else. Where does that come from? I do understand I came
into the world alone and I willl leave this world alone. Yes, I most certainly have been given
“free will”. Yet, that does not mean I need to give in to it.
I must decide today on one Important premise: IS MY LIFE WORKING WELL FOR ME TODAY
all ALONE? How can I get instant, permanent, powerful help NOW?
Simplicity is always best. So I take a 24 hour day and I see how I structure it to work best in
my life. I know that I need a minimum of eight hours of sleep. If I rise by 7am and go to
sleep by 11 pm this gives me eight hours of sleep. So what’s in between now? That leaves
me with sixteen hours of time awake each and every day. How is it filled?
Powerful messages are brought to me in so many different ways. The people around me
and those I talk to, FACEBOOK/SNAPCHAT/TIK TOK and social media can and does
influence so much of my day. The messages on television, my phone and ALL the people I
interact with, have a great impact. What kind of information am I taking in?
IF I now, decide to create a plan “JUST FOR TODAY” I can follow this plan just for 16 hrs. I am
going to go slow and make it easy to follow. I wake up and first I PRAY IN BED. Before I
climb out of bed, I pray carefully for myself and others and end my prayer with,
“NOT MY WILL TODAY, BUT YOUR WILL BE DONE, LORD - THANK YOU.”
This is where my invisible, concrete, constant help comes into place.
I make sure that I eat some healthy food in the morning. (Raisin Bran, Oatmeal, Cheerios,
w/oat milk, almond milk, banana, toast and/or organic free range eggs - yogurt w/ fruit
and a large 16 oz. water).
Time now to make the plan for my day. IF its work outside of my home; (I dress well, I
listen to uplifting things on radio, don’t gossip, do my best). IF it’s school ( I dress
appropriately, interact kindly and DO NOT GOSSIP. For school is where I am tested so often
in my character. IF I AM a person that stays close to home, I make sure that I am learning
something NEW TODAY. I WATCH/GO to UPLIFTING shows. I READ INSPIRATIONAL BOOK. I GO
OUT AND WALK. I create blocks of things to do throughout my day. I plan my menus. and I
continue to seek out ways to uplift, inspire and nurture me. IT’S VERY IMPORTANT I refrain
from self-pity. IF this should creep into my thinking I immediately say this; “THANK YOU
LORD FOR BRINGING LOVE, LAUGHTER AND LIGHT INTO MY BRAIN.” I PAUSE, I CENTER MYSELF
AND create. In deeply, I breathe and count of ten. THEN I DRINK A LARGE BOTTLE OF WATER
AND GO ON, if still down…. I GO OUTSIDE FOR 30 MINUTES.
IT GETS EASIER AND EASIER TO RETRAIN MY BRAIN INTO THINKING HEALTHY, HAPPY,
HONEST THOUGHTS IF I ONLY FOCUS ON DOING THIS TODAY.
In one of my past blogs, I recommended reading the book: “The Blue Zone” (lessons for
living longer from people who have lived the longest). One particular page jumps out at
me now that I have been talking about “Help for healing”. The Adventists in Loma Linda,
California believe in eating healthy. They grow their own organic food and eat healthy
day in and day out. Yet, at the top of their so called rules for living is this, Adventists believe
that the body and soul are one. They believe that our Body is the Temple of God. They
also believe that religion has provided them with that extra nudge that seems critical
for turning intentions into habits!
And so it goes….I have found I cannot go it alone. I cannot live my life with just “me”
running the ship or me at the helm. I donot have the power, or the map, or the wisdom of
the Lord, who directs my sail in the right direction. I need got get out of my way!
Someone very wise once told me that with Jesus Christ in my heart, on my mind and
directing my life…..it’s like turning off the television at night and trusting in him to “help
program the next 24 hours”. I believe this is true and I will follow this plan today.
Interestingly enough, there was also this,
JUST FOR TODAY:
“I can be 100% present in wanting to do my best for me.
When I speak to someone else, I will respond kindly, not react judgmentally.
IF someone causes me to feel badly, I will NOT get angry.
IF I am down, depressed, or unhappy about anything, I can count to 10, breathe in.
I can put on a happy face when I LEAST FEEL LIKE DOING THIS, because I MUST.
And above all, I will look in the mirror morning and night and say this:
“Thank you Lord for this day. I feel healthy, I feel loved, I feel safe, You are with ME.”
Therefore at the end of the day I know I will only be judged by the
Content of my character and nothing else…..
“They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings as eagles”, Isaiah 40:31
FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS CAN I BRING JESUS INTO MY LIFE WITH A NEW PLAN?”
NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW
“Nothing Left?” Blog #103
Sad, depressed, filled with anxiety - what calms me down?
Angry, confused, hard to get it right - where should I go?
Troubled, overcome with guilt, still riddled with remorse?
One of my all time favorite movies always revisited by me over the holidays. Now the
holidays have come and gone. Yet, January has a hint of unhappiness cleverly
connected to it. There is still just me, all of me with so many parts of me, I still need to
work on. Regret just does not magically disappear. I love to use movies as “good
examples” of where I can go and learn some powerful lessons. It’s so easy to keep
beating myself up over things that have happened in the past, the past. Gone, done and
never to reappear again.
This movie is one of my all time favorites.
“It’s a Wonderful Life” opens on Christmas Eve 1945 in Bedford Falls, New York. The movie
is about a troubled man whose prayers from his family and friends have now reached
Heaven. George Bailey is a middle aged, handsome man who personally has it all. He
has a beautiful devoted wife, healthy, lovely children and a beautiful home. However, the
impossible dream he has always chased has always eluded him. Then suddenly, the
worst possible plight, huge money problems surface on Christmas Eve. This is way too
much for George to handle anymore. He’s done trying to fix things, find money, or be
content with the life he has. Even though it is Christmas Eve, George decides to be done
with living. Yet, first he puts his hands together and prays for help. He has now run out of
his house on a snowy blizzard night, leaving his crying family behind him.
Now George Bailey is finally ready to end it all…..
Suddenly his thoughts of suicide and jumping off of an icy bridge coincide with Clarence,
who has just jumped head first into the icy cold water and George hears his cries for help.
George has forgotten his own decision to jump and end it all because now he has
jumped in and saved Clarence’ life! Although unbeknownst to George, Clarence Odbody,
is George’s Guardian Angel (and we all have one!).
After both men are dried off a bit and start talking, George passionately confides to
Clarence stating, “I wished I never was born”. For quite awhile George does not believe
Clarence is his Guardian Angel. Then, when Clarence tells him, “Well, George your wish is
now granted.” I will now show you what life would be like if George Baily never existed.
George reluctantly starts believing him. Clarence goes on to personally take George
back “in time”. He shows him exactly what his life would have been like “had he never
been born”. What life would be like had George “never touched other people’s lives”. Then
Clarence showed George what the world would be like “If George had never existed”
This movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life”, is considered to be one of the greatest movies of all
time. It is rated number #1 for the the most “inspirational movie created”. (Wikipedia)
Clarence takes George back to when he was twelve years old and shows George where
he rescued his younger brother, Harry, from drowning. This left George deaf in one ear.
George later saved a pharmacist from acidentally poisoning a customer because George
had seen the pharmacist put the wrong medicine in the bottle by mistake. Later on in life,
George gave his younger brother his own money so his little brother Harry could go on to
college. The angel, Clarence, shows George all the sacrifices George had made to do
good in his life, and never realized this. At the end of the movie, George is begging,
pleading, crying out for his “current life now”. He wants to go back because now he
appreciates all the things in his life that he has constantly taken for granted. He has a
sudden “awareness of all his blessings”.
Every single one of us on earth are here for a reason. God put us here for a reason!
My own thoughts of “the way I wished my life would go” and “the way my life went” cause
me now to smile. None of us realize the lessons we learned, until we have traveled far
down a painful path. Suddenly understanding after experiencing sadness, loneliness and
grief, how much we have grown internally.
Regardless of where we go or how we choose or where we wind up, it’s important for me
to understand that I always had the tools I was suppose to have at that time, and nothing
more. This way I do not beat myself up for “what might have been”.
Constantly I try to remember this important adage;
“When the student is ready, the teacher appears”.
Only in the knowing I must search, study and pray. I must ask for discernment and
direction and discipline. THEN a door opens to a brighter, more truthful life giving me an
understanding heart. There is no other way out for me. This is my Daily Direction
Routine, Always.
I have talked in the past about letting go. The past now gone. I bring HIS love into my
Heart. This protects me. Seldom do we realize how rough we are on ourselves.
We can be, and are, our own worst enemy. Our cell phone and people pressure coupled
with the persistent gnawing of “never good enough” stops now. I must learn to accept
and appreciate and acknowledge exactly where I am with a thankful heart. I have spent
my life looking back and that has become tiresome. It is time to find every possible way
to look to my future, be “Present” in this moment. There is something I can do each and
every day just for me. I can walk, I can read, I can pray. And above all, I listen as I pray.
As I’ve looked at those around me with past judgement, it is now time for me to say
“There, but for the Grace of God… go I”. I need to remember every moment just how
precious life is. My life is precious and I have purpose. I have a place in this world and I
am loved. I will be here on this planet as long as the Dear Lord wants me to live. I must
find a way each day to bring balance into my life. I believe I am goodness, I am healthy
and filled with love. So Above all, I believe and accept Jesus Christ my Lord.
I end today with a wonderful poem by Mother Theresa,
“Dedicated to You”
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered,
forgive them anyway.
IF you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives,
Be kind anyway.
IF you are successful you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
IF you are honest and frank, people may cheat you,
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
IF you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous,
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will forget tomorrow,
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough,
Still ~ give the world the Best you’ve got anyway.
You see - in the final analysis, it’s between you and God,
It never was between you and them anyway.
___________________
“Can I pray to look at my life & others, through your eyes only God?”
NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW
”Throwaway Life” Blog #102
What turns my head, makes me notice something different?
Where can I go to try fixing my life from failure?
How can I steer away from all that past pain?
Recently I just went to see a movie that left a very strong impression on me. The movie,
“The Boys in the Boat”, is a true story. The movie was about eight young men that
represented the U.S.A. in the 1936 Olympics. They barely beat Italy and won the Gold
Medal. Yet the main character, Joe, was the amazing one. As the movie opened, you
could see he was a teen living alone in an abandoned old car. Joe had earned his way to
go to school at The Univ of Washington, in the midst of the depression. IF only he could
make the team, there was a bed and school was paid for him. His mother had died and
his father had abandoned him. To make things worse, one day in town he saw his father
and found out he had been back for two years, wanting nothing to do with him.
Why do I bring this movie to mind now? Because of Joe’s spirit. It was everything. Joe
was seen as a disposable human being. This was also the time when Hitler was coming
to power and deciding that the Jews were disposable human beings as well. Hitler was
evil and did dispose of millions of Jews. Joe was goodness. He saw of all the set backs, all
the problems, all the pain.
Joe had himself and his healthy body and his strong spirit to succeed. In spite of Joe’s
own setbacks and sadness, he set this aside to put his mind on the ”greater good”. Even
when it was time to send the top crew to the Olympics, Joe was part of the B team and
the coach decided it was “this team”, the lesser team, the younger team, but the team
with the most spirit that was going to the Olympics. This is almost cost the coach his job.
In spite of all Joes hardships and setback and sadness, he set this all aside to be part of
the eight rowers. These eight rowers realized the importance of synchronization and
above all they become '“one”. All their differences, all their judgements, all their fears
phase into trust for each other that brought them the the finish - the Gold Medal.
As I look back on my own life and see a father, a brother and a daughter who decided to
give in the darkness. The drugs and the drinking and the depression. One drip at a time,
one day turning into months and dissolving into years. Precious, beautiful lives that were
thrown away. My father and my brother and my daughter, all gone for the choice of the
the dreaded “Big D”.
Drugs, Drinking and Depression. Each one of these people had a name, Benjamin, Bruce
and Bridget. Each one of these people were beautiful, talented, bright human beings.
Each one of these souls decided that their individual life was not worth the energy, the
goodness and the need to continue on ! So, they threw away the cherished gift that God
had given them and they are no more. Only a sad memory.
I write about this today, not to dwell in darkness at the beginning of this new year, but to
steer my mind onto the greater good. Joe (in the movie) broke that dark chord,
regardless of what he had come from in his past, regardless of all his hurt and pain, he
decided to choose differently. He found a wonderful girl that believed in his higher good,
believed he had worth, believed in him. The movie ended on a brilliant note…..therefore I
hope you go see it.
Yet, my takeaway was so much more, I realized that there is not a single day when I can
ever let my guard down. I related to this movie mostly to Joe. I immediately felt his
“feeling alone” and taking my anger and wanting to still push on! Joe refused to look at
the big holes in his shoes, instead finding newspaper, folding it in halves and stuffing this
in his shoes. He refused to think about his pain even when standing in long lines at the
food pantry. Once you saw the character of Joe, you sensed his inner drive and his spirit
was on fire. There was nothing that was going to stop him, except only once, it almost did.
He confronted his past and saw his father. The pain of family hurt never goes away, yet it
can be harnessed, and filed away for another day, far far in the future. Joe responded to
what was given to him by showing others what he was made of. I look at all the lost years
my father and my brother and my daughter threw away. Combined these years are over
one hundred and fifty. These three lives could have and should have and would have
been productive, contributing cherished lives. My brother could have had a wife and
children and beautiful memories. Instead he died two years ago at a state institution
isolated, alone and forgotten. My daughter did have a family and two beautiful little boys.
Her choice became drugs and alcohol and all else was thrown away. My father? He set
the scene with a wife and three children of his own. Yet, amidst all God have given him,
his dark, daily drinking ended his life riddled with the diseases that come with the drugs he
chose. I might have never gone forward had I ever knew in advance all of the dark, sad
fear I would have to encounter.
However, I am one of the lucky ones. I am like Joe in the movie, I knew early on in so many
ways, there was more to life than what I was exposed to in my family. I knew that it had to
be up to me. It was all my choice. However, for a long time I want to be honest and say, I
went back and forth. Lots of times, I insisted I do my life my way and pushed HIM away.
When I finally came to the conclusion I cannot do it alone, things got immensely better.
Now I see clearly. There is no other way.
Jesus is with me night and day and nothing can shake my embracing this truth.
Can you believe in HIM and throw away today?
“Trouble w/Who?” Blog #101
Spontaneous thoughts come and go…..from where?
How do I navigate my life each and every day?
Is there true goodness behind what I say and think and do?
God knows I try right? But sometimes it doesn’t seem to matter - all the chips fall in the
wrong direction and its just so damn hard to get back up, start over… cope….
I must try to remember this:
Every second of every minute of every day…..I can change what I am thinking.
Even though this is a brand new year, let’s face it, we still have the “stuff” we are dealing
with today. I still have all my worries and all my fears and all my hopes for a better
tomorrow! Even IF it doesn’t turn out the exact way I want it too. Herein lies the rub, I pray,
right? WHY don’t my prayers get answered right now?
Because it has to turn out, right? It just has to turn out right, right now! It’s just so hard to
try and search really deep. To keep looking inside, hearing nothing, and then try to find
those tools anyway that will take me out of all this darkness! Can I keep on looking?
Inside somewhere, I know these tools will allow me to finally let go of all that “control stuff”.
All the ways a “False voice of darkness tells me to turn away”. Telling me “I don’t need
anything else because only I should handle this”!! The “Me and the I” keep getting in my
way all the time. How in the world can I find a safe way to navigate out of this?
Desperately needing an easier way, a better strategy, a fresh start!
I have to admit: IT”S PRETTY DAMN HARD TO JUST SHOW UP FOR MYSELF.
SHOW UP AND ADMIT WITH HUMILITY, THE RAW, UNABASHED, REALITY OF WHO IS ME?
Why have I been so arrogant to think that I am the one with all the “bright ideas’ when I
am the one that got me into this “mental fix” to begin with. It’s so hard to just sit still and
try to slow my brain down, so much easier to just turn on some noise.
Well, I must admit, my random racing thoughts have showed myself just how futile the old
tapes have become. Not just futile, but frustrating and fearful even to a point where I lay
in bed, wide awake, playing this scenario and that scenario over and over again, with no
end in sight. I keep beating myself up with dark thoughts, scary dreams and night terrors.
Now understanding that truthfully, honestly and seriously; THERE IS NOTHING THERE. FEAR IS
NOT REAL. LISTEN CAREFULLY, FEAR is this, “FALSE EVENTS APPEARING REAL.” So it is my
responsibility to REPLACE ALL THOSE OLD TAPES. GET RID OF THEM. GARBAGE.
I PROMISE MYSELF THIS NEW YEAR I WILL LEARN MORE ABOUT the Bible. LEARN AND remember
AND live these wise Biblical readings:
John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in ME you may have peace. In this world YOU will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world”.
And this wonderful one,
Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of POWER and of LOVE and of a SOUND MIND.”
And finally this most inspiring one,
Phillippians 4: 6 -7 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be known to God, and the peace of God which passeth all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
These are powerful truths from HE and HE alone. There is nothing to fear when we take
this information in and process it and believe and live it. Then and only then does it work
in my life one day at a time. I leave you tonight with this wonderful favorite of mine,
written years ago,
“When I stand before God at the end of my life,
I would hope that I would have not a single bit of talent left
and I could say:
“I used everything you gave me.”
erma bombeck “GIVE - LOVE- LAUGH””
“Sleep peaceful?“
Today I ask myself can I trust in HIM and go to sleep peaceful?
NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW
“Me and 2023” Blog #100
Millions of words written about how to “Fix my life”…. is there anything new?
Probably the most astounding words ever told to me is this:
‘LET IT GO, LET IT ALL GO AND KNOW THAT WITH FORGIVENESS, I AM BETTER NOW”.
If I can count to ten now and tell myself - “the old me is gone - here’s why?
I am going to erase the old movies of all my anger, resentment and fear and start a file in
my mind called the “Old sick file”. I can send everything there for another rainy day - but
I don’t go thru the file - I just keep adding to it…. watch what happens. No more getting
frustrated with others, because we are all on our own separate path learning and
struggling and moving along as we are suppose to. With no judgement of others - I can
focus on myself. However, here in lies the rub, IF there is a family member who needs
forgiving and i have not done this, it will NOT GO AWAY. Every single situation is in my life
as a “LIFE LEARNING LESSON’. Mine (and your) best WARNING LIGHTS ARE THESE - Anger -
frustration - resentment - judgement - fear - blame!!
“I now take full responsibility for what I have to do and then “LET GO of the REST”. IF I can
believe this now, I am changed in a positive way instantly! Now I will be consistent in my
positive behavior daily. (I always ask for HIS HELP.)
When I am carrying around all my “stuff”, all the dark memories, all the anger and all the
resentment, (things I feel happened unfairly), I am a broken person. Even a person who is
constantly rationalizing things, will admit to this:
There is nothing I can do about my past. I cannot bring it back. I cannot fix it. I can only
do one positive thing about it, LEARN FROM WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME.
The hardest thing to do is to find humility. My toughest thing to do, is to admit it. The
easiest part to all of this is to see the positive, the healing and the love! Every one of us
alive, want to be loved. We seek out love. We crave love. Yet, HOW do we go about
finding love, permanent, unconditional, true love? The greatest Love there is ….Lies right
here in the heart and soul and being of ME.
Jesus Christ knows my pain and absorbs it today. HE is listening and HE understands.
Yet, me….with my own “FREE WILL” I must INVITE HIM IN. It is now the end of this year.
I now promise a powerful vow: I LET GO. I let it all go. it’s filed safely away now. ALL THE
PAIN I HAVE INSIDE. ALL THE THINGS I CANNOT FIX. ALL MY SORROW. FILED AWAY.
Looking back, over just this past year, there has been tremendous challenge. Each of us
can admit to feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, ready to throw in the towel. There is no
place in this world where any little book has told us, ‘life will be easy’. Yet, it is in the details,
the tiny parts that suddenly give us courage to change,, the littlest, amazing light internally
goes on, and shows us the way. Who am I speaking to out there? You and me, and each
one of us. We all know who we are, we know what we have to do to change our behavior
in a positive manner. There is an itinerary of sorts that each of us have agreed to at an
unconscience level, before we even got here. We agreed to learn, we agreed to help
others and internally we should all want to grow, and learn and evolve. How to do this?
Remember the old saying, “the devils in the details?” We need to start today with one
thing we have been putting off. Maybe its a person closest and nearest and dear to our
heart. What can I do to “break the ice?” Tonight I can ask quietly. This is between myself
and God. Then I will know what I must do. There is not a single other person who can take
my mission from me - I cannot listen to anyone but HIM, who shows me the way. I CAN DO
THIS.
Finally - here is a short list of my NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS - this is mine, what’s yours?
I am posting this on my refrigerator so I can find the new highway to my better self.
I can read either the Old or New Testament - starting tomorrow
I now take each morning and pray - ending each night with prayerful meditation
I earnestly can find one person who I can inspire, daily or weekly (It starts with me)
Daily, I eat at least ONE complete healthy meal. Drinking 1/2 my body weight in water
I now find time to spend 30 minutes each day walking/exercizing
Driving, I Listen to uplifting, light filled, Christian Music
I can find a good healing book to read on a weekly basis
I will attend church/any church weekly even if it is “Online”
I dress nicely every day - especially if I stay at home
I search up something positive to look forward to every week/month
It’s amazing how powerful I feel when starting & ending my day with:
Protection Prayer: (Memorized)
“The light of God surrounds me
The love of God enfolds me
The power of God protects me
The presence of God watches over me
wherever I am, God is and all is well. Amen”
All of these ideas are amazingly helpful - for any person who decides to try…..
Do I make time now to sit down and create my Best Self for 2024?
God bless you in 2024!
NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW
“Christmas: Why?” Blog #99
Is Christmas my excuse to just buy gifts for people around me?
Have I said before “get me this or get me that” for Christmas?
Do I cave in to commercialized displays because it’s Christmas?
One Solitary Life:
by: Dr. James Allan
1926
'“He was born in an obscure village. (Christmas Day) the child of a peasant woman. He
grew up in another village where he worked in a carpenter shop until he was thirty. Then
for three years he preached the word of God. He never wrote a book. He never held
office. He never had a family or owned a home. He never went to college. He never
visited a big city. He never traveled more than two hundred miles from the place where
he was born. He did none of the things usually associated with greatness. He had no
credentials but himself. Then when he was only thirty three years old, the tide of public
opinion turned against him. His friends left him, and one of them denied even knowing
him. He was turned over to his enemies and went through the mockery of a trial. He was
nailed to a cross between two thieves. While dying, his executioners gambled for his
clothing, the only property he had on earth. (Before he died he said, “Father forgive them,
for they know not what they do”.) When he was dead, he was laid in a borrowed tomb,
through the kindness of a friend. Now twenty two centuries have come and gone. Yet
today HE is the central figure of the human race and the leader of mankind’s progress. All
the armies that have ever marched, all the navies that have ever sailed, all the
Parliaments that have ever sat, all the Kings that ever reigned, all put together, have not
affected the life of mankind on earth, as much as this ONE SOLITARY MAN, Jesus Christ.
It’s crazy times out there today. Walk in any store, shop at any mall and wait in any line.
People are frenzied, preoccupied and tied down with troubles. So I try to visualize how
Christmas comes into play in my life right now. The chaos and the constant noise. The
shoppers and the “stuff for sale”. Everywhere I look there is pretense. Even at the donation
centers or charities. “Take your phone and scan the barcode for a person to donate to.”
Seriously, this sort of brings it all up a notch, especially when it says; “sorry, that group ls
filled”. How many of us now thinking, “I just want to get through the holidays and then it
will all be over.” How many times have I thought this and felt unnecessary pressure for
nought. The Jesus that I learned about as a child and read about as an adult, kind, loving,
good. Nothing to be afraid of! On the contrary, when he lived he healed anyone, that
came to see him as a “healer”. A young, God that came to earth only for us. All these
years of speculation and fear and pushing him away for no justifiable reason except
ignorance. Now we live in a world fraught with war. Crime and hatred are rampant.
Fights, and drugs and drinking. What kind of misplaced celebrating because it’s
Christmas? Probably the best news of all and it isn’t cheesy or corny.
Jesus is truly a best friend waiting, just waiting and ready to be there for you and me.
It’s Christmas. Almost everything and anything taking precedent over the real reason for
celebrating Christmas Day. Still, it can all change in a breath if we but so decide. It’s up to
each one of us.
Now is a good time to find a way to let my big wall down. I can take a moment and see a
family member through Jesus’ eyes. As busy as my day gets, I take time out for a quiet
prayer. I can try hard to believe today because this is truth and miracles are all around
me if I but open my eyes. Angels are disguised in people walking here now.
I, for one, am going to church this Christmas. I, for one, am going to seek out HIS peace.
I, for one, am going to respect what Jesus Christ did for me his whole life. From a little
baby to a child to a grown man. HE lived my pain, HE knows my pain, HE takes it away.
Wikipedia defines Christmas; “the annual festival celebrating Christ’s birth held on
December 25th. The exchanging of gifts is one of the core aspects of modern
Christmas and celebration, making it the most profitable time of year for retailers and
businesses throughout the world.”
A true irony is HE gives us authentic love in a simple, quiet, all encompassing way. I seem
to look for love in the material, busy, crazy living of each day. I do not need to be so afraid
to learn about him, seek him, and find him internally. It’s actually a great relief. It actually
feels like a giant weight has been taken from me. The weight of all my worry and stress
and fear. I want to believe this now. How to do it differently? This Christmas I am
determined to reflect, respect and rely on HIS BIRTH first. There is nothing to be afraid of
when all I am inviting in is pure, divine love.
Am I willing to celebrate the birthday of Jesus Christ in a way I feel HIS love?
NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW
“The Big Lie“ Blog #98
Why should I be reading this, when there’s nothing out there?
How can I even help when all I see is trouble around me?
What shows me my life matters, when I think no one cares?
One of the most valuable lessons I have learned in life is that most important motto: “BE
THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE”. Believe it or not, each one of us causes change in the
world one day at a time. When we actively do good, this causes a ripple affect. One
might say, “Just me?” So start off, at school - If there is a lie perpetrated about one
student and it gets passed along over and over. What happens? It’s like the snowball that
starts out small and becomes an avalanche. A life can be destroyed by mean, decisive,
angry words! What is the purpose in this? No one person has the right to judge and
malign another human being. Today, In the spirit of Christmas, I might add, “Doing good
is the essence of Christmas”.
Again going back to school, a young girl wrote into a newspaper saying she didn’t believe
in Santa Claus because her friends told her so. Listen to what the editor of this trusted
New York newspaper wrote back:
“Virginia your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a
skeptical age. They don’t believe except what they see. They think nothing can be that is
not comprehended by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or
childrens’ are little. In this great universe of ours man is but an insect, an ant in his intellect
as compared with the boundless world around him, as measured by the intelligence
capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge. Yes, Virginia there is a Santa
Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist. You know that
they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! How dreary would be
the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginia’s.
There would be no child-life faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable our
existence. We would have no enjoyment except in sense and sight. The eternal light with
which childhood fills the world would be extinguished. Not believe in Santa Claus? You
might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all
the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you do not see Santa
Claus coming down the chimney, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but
that is no sign there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that
neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of
course not, but that’s no proof they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the
wonders that are unseen or unseeable in the world. You can tear apart a babies rattle
and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which
not the strongest man nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever
lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love and romance can push aside that curtain
and view the supernatural beauty and glory that is beyond. Is it real? Ah, Virginia, In all
the world there is nothing else more real and abiding. No Santa Claus? Thank God He
lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now Virginia, nay, 10 times 10,000 years from
now he will continue to make glad the hearts of childhood.”
Francis B. Church
Editor of the New York Sun
1897
I chose to include this letter that was written over one hundred and twenty five years ago.
Mostly because today its important to DO something positive, different and fulfilling. Stop
worrying about myself and BE all I can for myself! Life is not just about selfish desires and
having money and buying things. Life is to be lived in a full, loving, kind way. Remember
“evil” spelled backwards ? L I V E Jesus Lives.
To answer the first question at the beginning of this Blog, why should I be reading this
when there is nothing out there? Because every person in life needs to realize we are a
speck of dust in this giant universe. Just look up at the billions of stars in the sky! Nothing
out there? HE is out there and Jesus waits for you.
How can I even help when there is trouble ALL around me? As Mother Theresa said years
ago when she was interviewed by a reporter, ”you can help, one person at a time”. Finally,
“what shows me my life matters when I think, no one cares?” Maybe it’s time to stop
worrying about self and go out and do something for someone when they don’t even
know you are coming.
Can I let go of the lies around me and embrace HIS truth?
NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW
“Be Still & Search” Blog #97
Everywhere I look, it’s in everything I do, all my thoughts I think - constant chaos?
No calm place to run to, no quiet moment inside/outside myself?
Why do I feel so content with all this noise around me?
A long time ago, actually in one lifetime, the television came into place. Now there is
social media technology consuming us. Any information I am looking for, I find in an
instant. So are times better? Facetime, messaging, calendar, sports apps, all abound.
Yet, am I going outside doing healthy things for for my mind and body? We live in an
extremely secular society. Confusion and chaos is everywhere. Churches are getting
emptier and emptier and people stay angry.
Is there a place i can go to find immediate peace, truth and love?
How many of us go to sleep every night with the sound of a television blaring in the
background? Or music streaming in through headphones? Now with information
immiedate on my phone, life is getting faster and faster to keep up with. Ironically, few
people are on their computers or their phones seeking a new understanding of how to
find calm ways to approach daily life. I might interject here, there is one app that is
amazing, “HALO“. I find it very calming and peaceful.
Young and old, people are addicted to phone apps. TikTok, Snap and Instagram. In many
ways, destroying their outlook on life. People who are parents are no less removed, finding
hours and hours of time away from their family in lieu of social media calling. Families are
living together in their homes, separately. Morals and ethics are out the window because
“this is just the way it is” - IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE.
A CHANGE OF HEART TAKES QUIET TIME OF INTROSPECTION, self-forgiveness and DECISION.
SOMEONE IS out there to turn things around and give each and every one of us a new
moral fiber to work with. This can happen in a breath. So I say quietly, “My heart beats, I
feel my breath, I am loved”. It’s right here inside each and every one of us. A heart change
is taking place.
No need to wait any longer. I sit still, close my eyes, take a deep breath accept calm. I
decide with baby steps to start searching INSIDE ME NOW. I SEE MYSELF AS a better person,
a better family member, a better friend, as I find my HIGHER SELF. When I am alone with
my thoughts before I fall asleep, I am at peace now. Someone once told me when I was
very young, “You know how to feel better about yourself? Go do something for
someone else when they least expect it.” Make them a card, tell them a funny story, help
them heal.
STOP THINKING ABOUT MY OWN SETBACKS AND SADNESS AND I REACH OUT TO ANOTHER.
Perhaps someone might say to me, well that doesn’t get me money does it? That doesn’t
fix my problems does it? That doesn’t bring me what I need right now! Yet, actually it
does. Reaching out, across the spiritual void to another human being brings instant
balance to me. This act of kindness heals dark energy. This is out there for everyone to
try….. find the movie: “IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE”. WATCH IT NOW.
Life takes on such a different flavor when I decide to see life with LOVE in my heart and for
someone else that really needs it! We all need LOVE. First and foremost, I must find the
love of Jesus Christ waiting in my heart for me. This is my own self love and this love gives
me a CHANGE OF HEART FOR FORGIVENESS FOR MYSELF. I feel needed. The best way to find
fulfillment is in Jesus Christ. HE is complete love. Then reach out to another human being
IN NEED. It’s an amazing feeling to just give this love away.
Millions and millions of people all over the world have had near-death experiences.
Although these people live in different countries throughout the world, they have shared
similar experiences that are profound! They all talked about how for the short time their
heart stopped, they were hovering above their body and could see everything but in such
peace. Then just before they were brought back from a “clinical death” they talked about
“realms of wonder”, experiencing the captivating love of God and a powerful presence of
such love. They did not want to leave! In one particular book, “Imagine the God of
Heaven” by John Burke, miracles abound.
Dr. Richard Eby who was a medical doctor and a surgeon, fell head first from a two story
building and cracked his skull open. Miaraculously he was revived after ten hours. During
his near death experience he said, “Jesus and I walked in heaven together, but it was
more like flying than walking”! We were talking while suspended in midair, communication
is so far superior than anything we can imagine down here. Space is also “limitless”.
These people live across the world from one another and have similar experiences with
the afterlife. In another excerpt this,
“……an airline pilot had a near death encounter. He was walking with his angels. He said
they were walking on this path and he saw birds and deer; trees of incredible size and
beauty all of it having this light of God coming out of it, and the angel took his arm saying
“James look, and across the grass trotted three of the most beautiful horses I’ve ever
seen, and the grass was lighting up under their feet as they trotted towards him”.
Story after story, so alike in nature, describing a world of such loving peace. There IS only
one way to find this calm feeling, here on earth, and that is in the quietness of self. Asking
and waiting and accepting HIM into my heart today. I can find time each day to be still
and search internally for the love of Jesus Christ, who waits for me now. Breathing deeply
in and out, I see how easily HE comes to me. IF I but ask for the light of Christ to surround
me now, heal me and engulf me. It is done. I AM now aware of who I am. I do not forget
this power inside of me.
Can I be still now and search for the light of Christ within me?
NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW
“Forgive, Why?” Blog #96
So they hurt me, others have it coming if I don’t talk to them, right?
People turn on me, so do I just choose drama to get through it?
How do I discern to be the one to set things straight?
Forgiveness is actually LOVE at its very highest form. There is an invisible agreement when
we are little children and have parents who take care of us. What ever we do, what ever
we say, however we act, we are usually talked to and forgiven. After all, we are tiny little
people looking for answers in those who care for us, right? Parents should not hold
grudges for actions of their children, IF THERE IS A WAY FORWARD TO TEACH THEM. As
parents we are to teach..show and help earn to live life honestly. Sadly, not always true, I
can vouch for that. My parents were consumed with their own addictions and dark drama
and dysfunction. Yet, there are lessons abounding in that scenario as well. What is the
biggest one? FORGIVENESS!
I do believe I was put in my own family to learn powerful lessons on how to forgive. My
childhood was riddled with pain and anger and cruelty. I remember my brother trying so
hard in school, coming home with a B on a Science Test. My father was home in a drunken
rage and my brother walked in proudly to show his test to our father. My father grabbed
the test, scrambled it up and said; “get outta my sight, you no good kid, you can’t even get
an A on this test, you are worthless to me…!.” This is my brother who went down into our
cellar, burned the test and that ninth grade day told me; “I hate him, I will never forgive him
for what he does to us…, I’m done!” Watching, I looked on sadly with out saying a word as
my brother took a lighter and burned his science test to ashes. He started taking drugs,
more and more drugs and later died in an institution for killing someone. All because of
hatred, anger and unforgiveness. My father did not have a clue because he was so
wrapped up in his own addicted, sick world of dysfunction and drinking.
At this writing today, there is anger infesting the world everywhere. There is anger at home,
in our schools, in the work place and throughout the world.
So, what exactly is my role in all of this?
My role is to learn my lessons one at a time and have a forgiving heart. What if we were
handed a little “Life Guide Book” so to speak, when we are young. This guide book
emphasizes the importance of “learning from relationships”. Every single person will be in
different situations to learn valuable lessons from. If there is gossip, hatred, anger, this is
powerful stuff.
WHY are we given people situations to “learn lessons” from? Because this is how we grow
spiritually. A negative, nasty, gossipy person wins in their world. They follow no rules and
don’t care about consequences. More often then not, this person talks darkly about
another person, to cover up for their own darkness! So I think hard on this, why would I
want this person as my friend?
I believe we are alive for two reasons, to learn our lessons as we go through each day and
to help other people where and when and how ever we can. Of course, not all people who
come into our life, should stay in our life. We are all on separate journeys of growth. Some
people want to grow in every way they can. Others just stay stuck and pull those around
them down under too!
An important lesson to learn is I TRY NOT TO LISTEN TO GOSSIP ABOUT ANYBODY.
Gossip is dangerous. We are not meant to rip apart the character of others. We are, each
one of us, on our own journey. IF there is a situation with a friend and start terrible news
spreading - it is important to learn to “Discern” Pray on this and do not listen to others !
Most of the time the person spreading the gossip has huge forgiveness issues about
themself!
I will try to keep it simple and say, we are children of God and our bodies are the Temple of
God. So each of us must learn to FORGIVE ourself first for anything we have done that
holds a dark cloud over our head and inside our heart. Then look at the person spreading
gossip. Who really knows what is made up and what is truth vs. the lie? Someone once
said to me, “Oh yea? You have no idea what they did or what they said,…. why should I
forgive?” I say this, here is a discerning moment. First of all, IS this person meant to
continue on in my life?” IF so, I need to have peace NOT problems! Problems grow and
fester and build walls. IF I am to have clarity In my thinking and what I am to do. FlRST, I go
directly to the person that is being talked about and clear the air
I of course, prayed to have discernment. Discerning what is the right thing to do? How to
go about life with or without this person - Prayer will give me all my answers. Above all I
remember NOT to judge others. “there but for the grace of God, goI”
IF my anger lies with my teenage child, I owe it to the both of us to come together and talk
things over, give them my truth above all - for very soon they too, will go out into the world.
There are so many lost, angry sad teenagers struggling in this world. IF my anger lies with
any family member, I ask to be open to discussion, IF they remain close minded to truth, II
pray for them and move on. I can say this, because even in the family that raised me, I
look back and realize how final death is.
My father died without any forgiveness conversations between us. It was and has been
years of struggling with truth and forgiveness and seeing how easy it could have been,
had my father been open.
IF my anger lies with a friend, I go directly to the friend. NO need to listen to others ONLY my
friend WHO I am at odds with, we need to meet, have a discussion and I must decide to let
go, move on or continue a friendship. Gossip builds walls and destroys lives and no one
wins! WHO is the person that is gossiping and why is this happening? Where does
forgiving work into this situation? Lies grow and grow and grow. I must Find out the real
truth! I go forward and weed out my true friends.
However, there will always be people WHO refuse to forgive, refuse to let go and dig deeper
and deeper into the daily drama of dysfunction!! I LET THESE PEOPLE GO. THESE ARE NOT
THE PEOPLE WHO I CHOOSE TO HAVE IN MY LIFE TO BUILD ME UP. MY Life is filled with love and
goodness and truth.
IT IS IMPORTANT TO SEEK HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS.
I put my mind on good things, by telling the truth, this makes me feel good! I learn great
self control with weapons of inner forgiving, truth and self love Internally I have a sincere
desire to be slow to anger, not blame others. Here is where a sense of calm takes over and
I can let go of adversity! It’s getting easier to forgive myself. Above all, I use prayer
purposefully trusting that Jesus is right here by my side always. It hurts not to forgive.
Life is a giant classroom filled with realistic rules and daily options to jump leap years
ahead when I “let go” of my pride, let HIM in and agree to Learn from what happened. We
have already been forgiven by HIM when Jesus hung on the cross, tortured, and beaten
bloody. STILL he said, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do”.
I sat down and wrote a poem dedicated to overcoming anger with forgiveness.
“ANGER” by Barbie
Anger swells in the heart of thee, buried inside a big Black Sea.
Dismal dark voices, rich with lying menice
give few choices, where anger is endless.
On goes Anger in a deadly spin, Mr. Anger assures a wicked win.
Takes over with rage,
Brings in bruising blame, demands center stage!
Never ready to depart,
destroying all goodness in a loving, peaceful heart.
Hiding out is quiet, Forgiving self,
sitting high on a dusty shelf,
At once is felt a timeless prayer shout out!
Suddenly sweeps in, HIS Angelic Diadem, crushing Angers’ deadly sin.
Upon a cold, forlorn face, a powerful force gives chase.
Self Love and forgiveness is back!
Destroying all anger in its track.
Gone in a puff of smoke, so all can be set free,
Angels bravely sing to thee, HIS love has brought back my Humility!
__________________
I can do this, it’s not hard…in fact its a huge release, I have HIM to help me forgive.
Will I forgive myself today and someone in my family?
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“Barely Breathing” Blog #95
How can my day work when its filled with so much turmoil?
Why do things in my life get harder and harder to handle now?
When will I decide its time for me to bring in the “real help?”
“Oh normal day, let me be aware of what a treasure you are”. This was the caption on
my daily Calendar the morning the bottom fell out from under me. I was never prepared
for tragedy, no one is. Why does it often take something exremely painful in our life to
make us call out for HIS help? It shouldn’t have to be that drastic. Painful problems, life
threatening illness, as well as extreme sadness from the the loss of a relationship, bring us
to our knees - so to speak. However, now more than any time else in history we live in
such a secular society that faith has not only taken a back burner, it has fallen off the
shelf!
I started watching a newer series awhile ago - “The Chosen”. absolutely fascinating. The
series is one of the first of its kind in showing what the life of the man Jesus was like in
choosing and traveling with his disciples.. Not to mention the fact that all of these men
were relatively young. They had lives that were either single fishermen, newly married, a
tax collector, a soldier. Yet all had something in common, they were chosen to be
Disciples for our Lord. For more then three years the series goes through events that show
how and why these men were chosen. Why it was so important for Jesus, in wanting them
to see their faith. He told them story after story and did never-before-seen miracles, right
in front of them. Fascinating for me, to start to understand the “back story” of this
amazing man. Through the years of my own life, I never even gave it.a second thought
about the “man” Jesus. Absolutely had no clue as to his disciples. More than anything,
now it is possible to relate to hard, painful choices they each had to make. I never knew,
all the disciples wound up being martyred with the exception of John!
In knowing this over the years, this knowledge has helped me evolve so much better as a
Christian. Especially if I had been taught and learned more about the man Jesus, I could
have understood my own faith better. More importantly, appreciating how Jesus in the
end had to choose to remain man and not call on his divinity to save himself! Nobody
really talks about his life with these remarkable disciples. Seeing how necessary it is to
learn about believing and having permanent faith.
There is one particular scene in which Jesus tells the disciples he is going away for a bit
and he wants them to go in six different directions themselves. They are to go into the
country in pairs, to spread HIS word. More importantly he tells them “all the miracles you
have seen me do - you too can do. You will heal the sick, make the blind see, bring the
crippled back to health. Giving them anointing oil and telling them to go out and “take
nothing with them”. They doubted at first, but began seeing what happened when they
laid their hands on a sick person. James argued the most because he said to Jesus; “How
can I heal others when they see that I, as a crippled man, have not been healed? Jesus
told him, “Your time has not yet come”.
So often we give in and we give up before we are even aware of the healing that is
taking place inside of us!
Another disciple; Simon was married and he and his wife wanted to start a family. While
Simon was gone with the other disciples, his wife lost a baby. He was off in the desert, and
when he returned home, he became very angry at Jesus. He turned on Jesus as his anger
took over him. Then all the disciples (in a later scene) were in a boat on the water in a
terrible storm. Off in the distance they thought they saw a ghost walking on the water, it
was Jesus. Simon got out of the boat and began walking on the water toward Jesus, that
is, until he looked down, until he looked away, until he took his eyes off Jesus. Simon sunk
deep in the water. Jesus grabbed him, and Simon was barely breathing. “Oh ye of little
faith”, said Jesus. What does it take for us? How often are we barely breathing and cry
out for help?
Alone and afraid, feeling abandoned……I too, have felt hopelessly lost. These feelings are
real. I have never understood how people can look back at history and believe and
accept that Julius Caesar lived and the Romans lived and relics of the coliseums have
been found. Yet not believe that Jesus ever lived? There has been found and exists the
recovery of the Shroud of Turin which is the bloodstained burial cloth recovered from
Jesus’ tomb. His image is embedded deep upon this garment. Jesus said it all when he
spoke, “to believe and have faith without miracles, of seeing me, this is true faith”.
Leonardo Devinci painted the Sistine Chapel and also a magnificent portrait of the Head
of Christ from which he envisioned himself. There are stories and miracles and people
everywhere coming Into their faiths, their lives changed in an instant. Jesus is my life, my
hope and my every breath. I never want to be stranded alone, barely breathing again.
Can I take that deep breath and bring HIM into my heart today?
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“Why Blame?” Blog #94
What makes me any better than you?
What do I value most in my life about me?
Above all, am I ready to do hard things now?
Blame: the definition means being solely responsible for something bad that has
happened to me. “He/She really had only him/herself to blame”. How often have we
done something over the years and as we look back, and it can only be attributed to a
decision me/myself and I made? Yet, why blame myself as I go on in life for all the
negative things that have happened?
People everywhere will say, that is just the way it is. We are creatures of habit. However,
this is not a good habit! Thoughts that are blameful and self-degrading and dark will
destroy who we are one day at a time. The important statement, “The student is ready
when the teacher appears” means all the lessons we have gone through in our life up
until now - were VERY CRITICAL TO OUR OWN SELF GROWTH! Every day we live and decide
to learn from what has happened to us is purposeful.
Now there is definitely a caveat to these words, WE CANNOT BLAME OTHERS FOR OUR OWN
DECISIONS. WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE GOOD AND BAD DECISIONS WE MAKE. The
wisdom comes in knowing discernment. We must know when to choose good over bad.
We must know when to walk away. We must know when to close that door to yesterday
and now move forward!
NOT ONE SINGLE THREAD ON OUR head of hairs is not numbered by our Creator. He knows
us inside and out. Because we are given Free Will we can choose daily of and with our
own volition. What do we want to do? I must not blame myself for any part of my past
because it is gone, finished and over.
Today I deal with a new fresh slate. There is so many reasons I can blame people in my
past for staying stuck. I can think of one reason and another to tear apart their character
and stay at a distance.
Matthew 7:3 writes, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your neighbors eye
and pay no attention to the plank in your own”?
I know in my past, I have driven people away or attracted people to me based solely
on my own decisions. Today I want to be ready to “DO THE HARD THINGS”. I want to
change my behavior and my attitude and my actions with forgiveness of self first. I start
by seeing myself with an “understanding heart”. In doing this - I ONLY ATTRACT GOODNESS
FROM THE UNIVERSE. I hold no blame to others from my past and by doing this, it frees my
mind of anger.
A long time ago people came up to the Teacher, Jesus, and said to him, “Teacher, this
woman we have here was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says we must
stone her. What do you say?” They were trying to trap him into saying something that
they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger.
The people kept demanding an answer, so Jesus stood up again and said, ”All right, but
let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” Then he stooped down and
began writing in the dust. When the accusers heard what he said, they slipped away one
by one. Beginning with the eldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with
the woman. Now Jesus stood up again saying to the woman, “Where are all of your
accusers? Didn’t even one of them accuse you?” “No Lord”, said the woman. And Jesus
said, “Neither do I accuse you. Go, sin no more”.
This message is a lot about blame. Blame, we all need to see, does not have to start with
us. This also talks about what goes hand in hand with blame and it is judgement. No one
has the right to judge another human being. We have not walked in their shoes. IF we
know they were in our life and it was wrong, we need to leave, close the door and do not
look back. Learn from where we have come from. I refuse today to be angry and mad
and sad because of a situation that I have come from. I am better now. I am healthier
now. More than that, I have self love. IF I can stop blaming myself for any and all past
situations that did not work out, IF I can agree it it time now to start over, IF I accept all this
and say to myself, “Now is the time to search deep with in and do the hard work that is
expected of me.”
WHAT IS THE HARD WORK THAT I SPEAK OF HERE?
The hard work is Let it all go! “LETTING IT ALL GO NOW” IT doesn’t matter anymore how I
justify why or how someone treated me poorly. That day is gone. THAT SITUATION IS OVER.
Time to do the hard work, take it all out to the garbage and be done with it.
I must SEE my life differently from this moment on.
I can see that I am a “child of God” filled with beautiful light, love and laughter. I accept
that everyone WHO is in my life right now, is here for a reason and I do not blame anything
or anyone any longer.
I AM READY FOR MY LIFE LESSONS WITH MY EYES WIDE OPEN.
I agree to do my best. I accept all that is HERE RIGHT NOW. ALL given to me on a daily
basis. I see that I am growing and governing where I go with higher self awareness. I
gleam all Gods light to shine into the darkness when and if I need to help someone that
asks for help and is stuck. I will accept all my own challenges with a brave heart. Jesus
Christ’s light shines brightly within me.
I CAN FEEL I NOW HAVE HAD A COMPLETE CHANGE OF HEART.
I am surrounded with the Arch Angel of protection, Micheal. I take on the brave shield of
protection from all darkness and daily I memorize and say the powerful
PRAYER OF PROTECTION
THE LIGHT OF GOD SURROUNDS ME,
THE LOVE OF GOD ENFOLDS ME,
THE POWER OF GOD PROTECTS ME,
THGE PRESENSE OF GOD WATCHES OVER ME,
WHEREVER I AM, GOD IS…AND ALL IS WELL. AMEN.
As I go forward, CAN I LET GO OF, Who, what or why I blame someone today?
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“Brutal Honesty” Blog #93
What if it hurts too much to tell myself the truth?
Why can’t I get that person who means so much to me, to just listen?
When will I be able to go it alone and not worry about everything?
Treasure these moments for they are “teachable moments”. No pain - no gain. Once
upon a time, not so long ago in my own life, I felt completely lost, all alone. If people were
all around me, that didn’t matter, I was completely in the dark.
Now, how do I tell if I am living my life with brutal honesty, or dwelling in illusion?
Most of all, I need to have an open heart. My heart has to be open, not closed.
A story that comes quickly to mind, is about my choice of relationships as I grew older. I
found comfort in being with people that had so many problems. Probably because by
focusing on their problems, I could avoid my own. More often than not, the brutal truth
hurts. How often have we heard a friend or someone close to us say, “I am going to be
brutally honest with you”. Do we want to hear this from someone? Especially when
someone says to you, “all you do is complain, you do nothing about it” So suddenly it is
not about the brutal honestly, its about “my hurt feelings I feel”.
There are so many complicated outcomes of hurt feelings. More than anything, this
damages relationships sometimes permanently. The whole point of saying “Brutal
honesty’ is exactly that - brutal means violent, savagely. Then you have the word honest”
which basically means moral truth, morally correct. The minute my words can hurt some
one, every thing changes and the whole point of what is said, gets lost completely.
FEELING REALLY HURT.
It’s a long time after we share such brutal honesty with someone we care about, that we
can come to grips with the “Now, WHY WAS THAT SAID”? This is HARD TRUTH. It’s obvious
there is no safe haven in brutal honesty. So why go there? Because we can still be
brutally honest and have compassion in our voice when we speak. IF I can manage to
turn the tables so to speak, start with being brutally honest with myself. This is THE FIRST,
the most important place to begin.
I look at my life and I see the same two paths every single day. There is the path of
honesty or the path of dishonesty. For me to be truthful or to be a liar? Before I can help
anyone else I must learn to help myself. I can go back quietly in my mind, all the choices I
have made that I may be ashamed of, SO, I ask for forgiveness..
Can I and DO I accept there is no right way to do something wrong?
I once had a girlfriend in high school. She did not know how much I admired her beauty.
Yet one day she came to school with a wild look. Her hair was dyed to a dirty bluish black.
She had piercings everywhere and had now given in to self tattooing. Her behavior
encouraged all the wrong kind of friendships. Her grades dropped and her habits were
horrible. Smoking drugs, sex became her greatest vices. She hid behind this darkness.
and so in the end her final choice was death at a young age. She lived wild and she died
even wilder. This girl did not know brutal honesty with herself. She lived inside an illusion
that gave no truth yet in the end, swallowed her up. She looked for a “quick fix” everywhere
outside herself. Her initial beauty that I found so captivating, became the frosting on a
stale birthday cake. IF only someone could have gotten through to her with “Brutal honest
compassion”. But she was not open. “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”
When we are dishonest with ourself it eats away at us inside. The dishonesty festers and
grows, spreading a black mold into our conscience, blocking our ability to “feel” and be in
touch with a guilty conscience. Because there is an internal law that abides, “we are
constantly internally punishing ourselves for every wrong we commit, and reward ourself
for all acts of goodness that we do”. This is the sub conscience.
So as I come to a close on my belief in Brutal Honesty, I stand with one truth above all.
“I must love God with all my heart, mind and soul. I must love myself above all else.
Nothing else, no one else and no place else can give me the love that I must learn
to feel for myself.
This is my moment NOW- I AM brutally honest with myself and have a complete
change of heart. The universe will show me, my Lord will show me, I can
show Me each day how to “show up for myself!”
Rudyard Kipling said it best when he said:
IF YOU CAN FORCE YOUR HEART AND NERVE TO SERVE YOUR TURN
LONG AFTER THEY ARE GONE, AND SO “HOLD ON”…
WHEN THERE IS NOTHING LEFT IN YOU EXCEPT THE
WILL WHICH SAYS TO THEM; ‘HOLD ON!”
So this must be the day that I stop making any and all excuses for me. I must stop with
the illusion and have a “complete change of heart”. When I realize that I must take
complete responsibility for ME and only me. When I see that by depending on my heart to
soften all MY past regrets, I now invite HIM, my Lord Jesus Christ to be at the helm of my
ship. I can sail through rough waters and be not afraid, for HE is with me. My brutal
honesty heals my heart. I no longer just survive, but I now feel I can thrive and do what I
must do one day at a time.
“Do I dare to be brutally honest starting right now?
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