“Why be Strong?” Blog #20
Today is exactly one year to the day that I found my daughter dead.
I listen to myself say these words and I know this as truth. Yet, I do not dwell on it.
On the contrary ~ today my life is actually filled with situations that need my
critical thinking. I could go into it - but it involves another family member so I
will leave it at that. So very many things happen to us to bring us calamity,
excitement, fear or failure. Yes, there is also peace and success and calm.
My world, as I am sure your world, is filled with daily information and ideas.
We are given choices and we are given chances ad we are given clarity
IF we so choose. By self-medicating, we cloud the picture.
There is not a single person alive that does not have to deal with their own
daily drama. Now, one year later, there is not a single thing I could have done
differently with the tools I had at the time. There was no way that I could have
saved my daughter; Bridget from dying. This is because she herself, dld not
even fully realize the ramifications of her own choices and decisions and her
actions walking into the hotel room where they found her dead..
I listened to the news on the radio the other day, a handsome young man only
nineteen years of age, just in his prime of life, and so much ahead of him, was
pledging a fraternity. He was going through “Hell Week and the other frat boys
were hazing him. They poured a full quart of vodka down his throat.
He did not die. However, he was found partially brain dead and also blind.
Why did this kind of senseless horrifying tragedy have to occur? It did not,
yet, people make foolish, careless dangerous choices every single day.
Someone always pays for it and it becomes a ripple effect going out into
the different friends and families of the person affected.
I do know this beyond the shadow of a doubt, my daughter had many
empty bottles of vodka sitting in the hotel room where she was found dead.
My daughter gave in to her problems and her sadness and her weakness.
She did not try to see the “bigger picture” where her little boys would be
missing and wondering and asking; “when is mommy coming home from that
hotel room?” She was emeshed in her own world of sadness.
Where is the strength in that statement? Where do we find strength to rise
above all of this that I talk about? Why is it so important to even be strong?
Strong people have been overwhelmingly sad. Strong people understand
how important it is to hang on to their Faith through thick and thin.’
Strong people know there is absolutely “No other way”.
Why be strong? Because HE was. HE has already showed us that it did not
matter how many miracles HE did, it did not matter how many people HE
had healed and it did not matter how HE only preached love not hate,
because they hated HIM anyway,.
IF you see that all around you is the fabric of false illusion. Everything you want
to believe in can come unglued and turn against you. IF you try to find a way
to only live in the materialistic world and not embrace faith in HIM, life winds up
losing its meaning.
I treasure the memories I had with my daughter who is no longer with me.
I think back and reflect and smile at the times created with fun in them.
I smile when I recall my daughters honest laughter, for this is beautiful.
Today I cannot change one day out of my past. I cannot go back or go forward.
I do have all day today. Twenty four golden hours that I dan create any way
that I want to. I need to be strong to do this. There is no other way to see it.
I know this, I have come far enough in my life to know I absolutely do not want
to escape any feelings. Whether it be painful or not, I want to feel those feelings.
I do not need to self-medicate myself in any way. I am good with who I am and I
know now beyond all measure, that I am responsible for becoming a
“Healthy Me”. I refuse to accept any other part of me. What does my strength
look like in person? I can show all those around me positivity is best.
I can refuse to give in to any sadness that I know will debilitate me. I change the
thought, I look at a different picture and I create calm inside and outside of my
world. Everyone will look at me or you, exactly as we want them too. IF I
show sadness and remorse and fear……… this is what I will feel and get back and
experience in return.
I choose not to do this any more. I choose to find different outlets for my
sadness and then move on. I learned that the more I share in whatever
emotional outlet I choose, the more it will be returned to me, exactly like that.
It feels good to be strong. It makes me feel like I am in control of me.
To be strong, is to feel safe.
To be strong is empowering.
To be strong is contagious.
Try it on sometime, you would be surprised at how easy it is to stay there in
your ‘strong-mode’ and experience the world around you with HIS shoulder
pads protecting you from fear. If you choose to believe in prayer. Tell HIM
and ask HIM and invite HIM into your life. Watch how different everything
suddenly becomes. Ii its almost like watching life through a television
screen and knowing that you can change the channel of fear, regret and
worry any time.
Life then has a beautiful way of working out when we decide to
“get out of our own way”. Not our will, but let HIS Will be done in our life daily.
As I close today, its important that I ask you this:
“Are you willing to see what HE has in store for you, why not be strong and find out?
NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW