“Toughest Teachers” Blog #22

When we wake up each day, we know we have a brand new start. We are filled with the

ability to “feel life” as we should. Feeling all of our feelings is important, necessary and

above all, a learning experience. This is because all the feelings we need to feel, give us

the opportunity to learn the lessons we need to learn on a daily basis. Perhaps this is

confusing, I will explain because. It is not easy. There is a very definite reason why we

are here. We are here on earth to learn.

I have said this before and I repeat, “We are alive to learn lessons each day”. I believe

that we learn our lessons from the “feelings that we feel”. If we dull our senses, we

cannot feel the feelings that are within us.

What feelings am I talking about?

The most important teachers in our lives come forth through our feelings. The feeling of

fear, fearful of the unknown. Fearful of the words we have said in anger. The feelings of

anger toward another person, or a situation that has happened to us. There is the great

teacher of Regret, regret for the things we wished we would have said, regret for the

people that we treated wrong and wished we would have treated right. Regret for the

words we wished we would have said correctly. Another great teach is “Blame“. This is a

great teacher. How often have we blamed another person or another reason for why

something happened, when we could have taken the time to look into our own heart

and find the truth? Suddenly, that is when another teacher creeps forward and shows

his ugly head, Pride. Pride is a very important, valuable teacher in that pride hides us

from ourselves. Pride tells us that we are never to blame. There is the simple fact that

Pride hides us from our true self. Pride gives the convenient cover of darkness with

denial and depression. These great teachers are here for us every single day. We

usually have a choice to “use and abuse” any and all teachers. Alas, along comes the

most humbling of teachers, Death. When someone near and dear to us dies, there is a

finality to this understanding that is permanent. We cannot go back. We cannot

change a thing. We cannot tell someone that is gone something important. They are

gone, and its over.

Death becomes the great equalizer and brings with it the final curtain. So often people

cannot find the answer to why they are stuck until there is a death around them and

they then may be forced to see life differently. Our feelings are so very important in the

fact that when we dull our senses, we choose not to feel, period. We choose numbness,

not feeling, over critical awareness and feeling life as we should, with all our senses

intact. I remember after major blows in my own life when my mother died, when

I was faced with horrific challenges, that seemed at the time unbearable. The first

teacher that surfaced its ugly head was Fear. There was so much fear around me.

I decided I could not cope. I decided I couldn’t take it. I decided that me and me alone,

knew what was best for myself. I was able to dull my feelings daily, or so I thought, I just

chose to rationalize with drinking. A funny thing happens to a person though, when they

are hiding out. You cannot do this for very long. Eventually the universe DOES step in

and it says “enough is enough”. A person either dies or it is Time for some really

powerful lessons if not, because this is where one is not willing to see the light.

I must admit, the Fear was suddenly my most humbling teacher. This was also

coupled with severe anger, hatred, and blame. Eventually when I still would not

listen, my own health issues were brought in to view. My body was riddled with anxiety

and depression and I began to experience severe migraine headaches. At some point

HE says, “please hear me, I am trying very hard to get your attention, Barbara”.

This is where I began to see that my way of figuring life out, was not the right

way. I began to understand slowly, but accurately a more important point. Life is all

about learning Lessons. It just is. If we hide behind alcohol or drugs or pills to stay

clear of our feelings, there will come a very big lesson that the universe knows we need

to learn. I suspect I was a great candidate because of my intense ability to try to stay

ahead of myself, deceive myself and abuse myself in so many ways. One day I was

over at my friends house with my children and they were very little. I had gone over

there to celebrate her birthday and spend a little time. I wasn’t going to stay very long,

just a little celebration and maybe a couple of drinks. I hadn’t seen her in a while and I

was super busy in Real Estate but this was my best friend, so I made the time and took

the children with me. I remember we were having drinks and laughing and my children

were running around the house having fun with my best friends children.

One drink led to onother and suddenly I was wide awake the next morning, down in their

lower level, covered up on the couch. I looked around and saw my two children playing

a game on the floor quietly. They looked over at me with a look I will never forget, there

was such sadness in both their eyes. They saw a mom that they couldn’t figure out.

They saw a mom that had gotten so drunk, she had litterally passed out at her friends

house and forgotten all about everything else. I never realized that I had drank so much

alcohol, I had completely blacked out. Over the years, with consistent habit, now I had

developed a very dangerous tolerance of not knowlng which drink would send me over

the edge, “total, complete black out” and no remembering what has happened to me.

This was where I was at in my own life that day.

I thought I had found an answer for all my “Feelings that I didn’t want to feel”. I thought

and believed and was convinced, I had control over my own life. How very wrong I was.

My children were quiet all the way driving home that day. Then a great teacher

appeared. It was my son, he asked me a question that was so humbling, I could not

answer him. He said, “Mommy, I kept shaking you on those basement stairs, why

wouldn’t you hear me and wake up?” My friend and her husband had decided to put

me to bed on their lower level couch, when I passed out on their basement staircase.

This was so very embarrassing to find that my little boy and my little girl had to see me

in this state. There is no such thing as believing I had control over my feelings, and

actions, and words when I was so enibriated. I was passed out drunk on the stairs.

My denial and my pride and my fear were running away with my life. These

are feelings of fear that were all masked every time I took a drink and believed

that I was in control of my feelings. I was not in control. I was never in control. The

teacher “Denial” was in control. I refused to feel my own raw, intense, sad feelings.

I chose drinking on a daily basis to believe that I was in control. I had given up control

to the dark forces and feelings of depression and death of my real internal, Higher True

Self. At the moment my son asked me that question, “Why couldn’t you hear me and

wake up mommy?” My son became my greatest teacher at that moment. It doesn’t

have to be so extreme for you and I. There is a great saying and it goes like this,

“When the student is ready, the teacher appears”.

When we are ready for HIS help, the heavens open up, angels come forth, the lights are

bright and blazing. It is time to embrace the truth and move on. This is such a freeing

feeling. I understand now that we have to feel our feelings. We have to wake up each

and every day and feel what it is we are suppose to be experiencing at that moment.

There is no other way around this. I want to help you and others by saying this, “Nothing

is as bad as you think it”. We are given each new day to start over and I see how far I

have come with this understanding. when I was deep in darkness. Although It was all

around me, I did find a way out. I put my hands together and said; “Please help me, I

cannot do this by myself”. At once I felt at peace. Immediately I had help. Every day I

feel supported by HIM now. The Dear Lord is right here for you too.

Did you know that every single person on earth has a Guardian Angel? Did you know

that if you sit quietly, or close your eyes before you go to sleep tonight in complete

stillness, you can ask this question, “Who is my Guardian Angel”? The name will come.

your angels name will come to you.

As I close this segment of my Blog today, I simply but firmly ask you this,

“Can you feel the feelings you are meant to feel, free and clear of pills, drugs or alcohol?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW