“Living in Lies” Blog #28
I was watching a movie the other night that gave a very interesting definition of
Lying. An old Grandpa was talking to his grandson and told him there were three kinds
of lies. This really caught my attention. What are the three kinds of lies? 1. lying out of
fear 2. lying out of stupidity and 3. lying because of Love. He went on to say that the
worst thing for a person to deal with is the FEAR. People are afraid and they feel the fear
“all by themself”. Feeling this FEAR and being afraid all alone makes a person want to dig
a deeper hole and hide. I remember this kind of “fear” and I remember how it brought
on more drinking deeper anxiety and super stress. When I finally decided to get the
counseling I so desperately needed - the wisest old Guru of a teacher told me an
astonishing fact: “The worst thing is to be afraid all by yourself. When you choose to
SHARE your fear - you give HALF of it away!”
This is a remarkable awareness. When you choose to share your fear - no matter what
it is - YOU GIVE HALF OF IT AWAY. This is exactly how we are helped each and every day.
In my own life, I see such sadness all around me in the lives of people I know and love.
They are either dealing with extreme illness and cannot find a cure for their sickness.
Or they have made a life decision - left their wife or husband and the children are
suffering the pain and the regret and the sadness of never being in that “intact” family
again. More then this - the children that are products of divorce are dealing and
struggling and living with such FEAR. Who is going to tell them the truth about life as
they should know it? Who is going to help children find their way in an honest, healthy,
healing way? The lies that permeate our day to day existence are everywhere. It begins
to seem so overwhelming, we choose to ignore and go our separate way. I believe this
fact to be true. FEAR dictates our Daily barometer. Fear decides our course of living
each and every day if we but allow it. Fear is why we don’t share the truth with the
people we used to love. I really had to dissect why that old grandpa said there were
three types of lies. If a person tells a lie because of fear - fear of finding out the truth
behind the lie - it just goes on and on and on…. the truth stays hidden.
If a person tells a lie because of stupidity, it is easier to learn from this lie and move on.
However, if a person tells a lie out of love - this lie hurts the liar the most he said! What
in the world can that mean?
To tell a lie out of love and have it hurt the liar the most?
Well, some people get sick and know they are sick and refuse to tell the people around
them, who they love the most. They are also afraid - for fear of whatever? At that point,
the liar gets sicker and in finding out the truth of why they are sick, the sicker they
get, the more they hurt and then they die. All of this occurs out of fear. I do believe that somewhere
inside my daughter; Bridget - she knew she was sick. She had refused to go the doctor
for a very long time. She began self-medicating and the pills and the liquor
camaflauged the pain.
Life becomes distorted for so many people. The lie takes on a dark persona of even
deeper darkness. At some point, because of our own choices there is the sheer fact
when we were born HE gave us the gift of choice. We always get to choose our own
path. Until and unless and if we do not want HIS help, HE does not interfere. We are
given the gift of FREEWILL. The Lord lets us live the life that we have chosen to live.
There is an old saying that goes like this, “Oh the powerful webs of deceit we weave
when we practice to deceive.” To live in the world and BE in the world and not get
caught up in the world is the most powerful test.
Every one of us was once a child. Most of us believed as we were growing up, we
would have a beautiful family of our own some day, a perfect home and a good job.
Then we chose to buy into the big lie and throw it all away for personal, sensual
satisfaction. We could not interally understand why we would want to do this.
Yet, there are many mothers and fathers of young children that have just let them go.
Left them to their own lot of figuring life out without a strong father role, or a strong
mother role. I ask you now what kind of life do you think they are going to choose?
There is a reason why the earth is round. What goes around, comes around and our life
does catch up with us - I can guarantee you this.
So, what are you afraid of today? What kind of lies have you accepted in your own
life that keep you stuck? Remember the three kinds of lies? There are the lies we give
ourselves out of fear. Fear of the unknown is such a fearful place to be. I found that just
by embracing HIM took care of that in a breath. The lies because of stupidity, can be
learned. We all know who we are. What do we want to change today that can make life
a little bit easier for us? How are we continuing to live the lie of deceit?
Then there are the iies we tell, out of love. We love our families, like I know that Bridget
did, yet she lived a lie out of fear and being afraid to go to the doctor. These lies bring
moe lies. They bring more delusion and more pain each day. I had an old maid aunt
that had her own life dream crushed. I saw it as a little girl. She was a very successful
business woman in the cities, President of the Women’s Business Association. She
married the love of her life. He was handsome, charming and successful. They had a
beautiful home by the lake ……for a while. Then he got a young girl pregnant and left my
aunt to marry this girl. My aunt was totally devastated. She spiraled downhill. She
became a raging alcoholic. Her own family turned on her and told all the restaurants
and bars in town, not to “serve her any drinks”. She quit caring. Her beautiful custom
made clothes and perfumed blouses were replaced with old housecoats she lived and
slept in. One day a dark growth started on her neck and it grew and grew. All the while
she was sick, I remember being at my grandpas house where she now lived. She would
sit at the kitchen table reading the newspaper. A camel cigarette was burning in the
ashtray as she circled the ads for jobs. She looked up at me one day and said: “Who’s
kidding who?” My beautiful aunt had become a delapitated, frail, diseased ridden
being. She died later that year alone with her fearful lies. Can you take a moment
today and find a way to do something different, invite HIM in to share your fear? Don’t
be afraid because when your share your fear, HE takes half of it away from you.
As I close today, I ask you this: “What is the lie you are now living in?”
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