“Cruel Countdown” Blog #26

In one single day our life can beCOME the best memory ever, or the darkest day

imaginable. We can try, we can try with all our might to be prepared for the

unexpected. Yet, you can bet, it is impossible to do this. The events I am about to share

with you actually happened one and a half years before my wonderful daughter,

Bridget was born.

This is about my mom.

I still remember, all those years ago, how much Bridget would have loved her. We only

had our cherished little boy and he was our pride and joy at just one years old. It was a

hot summer day on July 11th and I was so busy with real estate appointments, I did not

know which appointment to go to first. Our son was busy throwing his food on the floor

from his little hand, sitting in his highchair. I was dressed in my new creme pantsuit.

Why in the world I poured a tippy cup of grape juice for him and forgot to screw on the

cap tightly, I will never know. The lid flew off and grape juice was all over floor, I

watched as he laughed and laughed. I got angrier and angrier!

I grabbed the cup and went to wipe off the top of the high chair tray, as it got knocked

over on the floor. The rest of his juice right down the front of my pants! I yelped and

screamed thinking “this was definitely the worst day yet”, little did I know.

This was the beginning of a “cruel countdown” that lay ahead for me. How misplaced

our priorities in life can be until the Universe decides to step in. The next moment was

definitely serendipitous. Definitely, as I look back, my angels got my attention.

Thankfully, I listened to my heart and not my head. For I believe all the events that

happened next, were meant to be.

I went outside on my back step, shaking off food, crumbs and trying to clean off

my pantsuit, only to make it way worse! I was obsessed with my “ruined morning”!

I just sat down on the stoop of my back patio and stared up at that blue sky. “Why me?”

I thought, “Why did this have to happen!?” All of a sudden, as if in a magical moment of

mystery, a complete alternative thought came into my head. “Why am I doing this?”, I

thought. Why am I racing to work on this unreal beautiful day? I have never taken my

little boy to the beach. Then an additional immediate thought. Call my Mom…. I need to

call my mom to come with. too. When did I ever go to the beach with her before?

Today held the bluest sky, so peaceful Not a day like this that I could remember,

it was a perfectly gorgeous summer morning. My husband will think I am absolutely

crazy!! We had so many apointments. Yet, when he walked into the kitchen and saw the

“grape juice fiasco”. He took one look at me and said, “No problem honey, I can handle

our appointments today. You go on to the lake with our little guy and your mom.”

And so we did. Not knowing still, the cruel countdown was clicking off time.

The memory is crystal clear still in my mind as we drove off to the beach. My mom had

brought over a big black umbrella, a thermos of lemonade and her big old soft quilt.

We were set. We no sooner settled down on the grass by the beach and she was off to

get her favorite little grandson a chocolate ice cream cone. I still see them walking

back on the beach, my mom could not lick the ice cream fast enough to keep from

melting and both of them had chocolate all over their faces. I felt totally relaxed. So

happy to have made this decision. We sat talking for the longest time while my little boy

took his nap under my moms great big umbrella. Hours seem to fly by, still I was

oblivious to the cruel unexpected countdown.

Suddenly off in the distance, just as I told my Mom it was time to get going and

“someone” would be awfully hungry now that he was awake from his nap. I looked up

and saw my husband approaching with a big picnic basket of goodies. A wonderful

surprise dinner picnic. He said he had finished our appointments and “something had

come over him to get us food and come find us at the beach.” Then he even

announced he had brought the last bottle of White Wine we had in the

refrigerator and saved for company this upcoming weekend. I had no time to protest.

He had the wine already poured and my mom was making a toast to the three of us for

such a nice surprise. We sat there eating our chicken and potato salad with french

bread. I watched as my mom bit into a red grape, chewing it in half and giving it to her

grandson.

Tick….. Tick….. The countdown was fast approaching now. The cruelty of it all was I had

no idea of the unexpected. I had no idea what was about to unfold. As we left our

wonderful picnic that evening, my mom smiled and gave me a hug. Getting in her car,

she looked over at me smiling, “honey, this is one of the best times I can ever remember

with you, let’s do it more often.” As she drove awaiy, she made sure to roll down her

window, and I heard “Love you…..see you tomorrow!” I nodded, throwing her a kiss.

The following morning at 9:20 a.m. my mother was murdered by a drug addict.

Whatever cash she had was gone from purse. When this happened, I was no where

near her home. I was out looking at houses on a real estate tour with my company

associates. I vividly remember coming back to my office that held about 25 - 30

people. As I walked into the office - everything became eerily quiet. The cruel

countdown had now caught up with me. I can only say with a broken heart, It took

years just to accept the pain before I could move on. For a long time I had dropped into

darkness, hiding behind my dangerous drinking. Regardless of all the facts that

unfolded, I had no way to prepare for this horror. I only had my own memories with my

mom. I also realized almost immediately though, that I had no regrets. For I had been

given the ultimate gift, the gift of using my time in the best way. This beautiful

consolation blanketed me with no regret. I had that last day with her and I listened to

my heart. Were my Guardian Angels preparing me for the cruel countdown? Yes, I

believe this to be true. Every single one of us have a higher self that we can tap into, if

we believe. Those days of darkness with my mothers tragedy are far behind me now.

I have been able after so much trial and error, to finally come back to HIM. I understand

and I accept and I believe there is a magnificent plan for each of us. Yet, it is up to EACH

of us to try to accept what has been given to us. When we try to learn from the situation

that has happened to us, then we go forward with HIS help and guidance. I can’t tell

you how much better it is to do it that way. It’s a complete release. Not knowing what

the waters are like, would you go out in a boat without a life raft?

I ask you today in all earnest, are you prepared for the unexpected?

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW