“Letting Go” Blog #25

Isn’t it funny, what we decide to hang on to?

Sometimes we hang on to family stuff from years and years past. We hang on to

hurts that our own parents have done to us, that we refuse to let go of, we just don’t

want to let go, no matter what.

In our life all we have is memories, we can only hold on to our memories. The daily

dilemma and the daily grind and the daily hurt, of just going back and forth with people.

The people that are around us are everything to our daily peace of mind. Some of the

people that we insist on holding on to, we have to let go of. I understand and believe

and know that in my own life, I was stuck for a very long time holding on to memories

that were not healthy. Now a lot of people may wonder why that matters? Because

forgiveness is major important to forgive the past that has hurt us. Especially if we have

parents that were hurtful in many ways. So often we think, “Oh, I can just move on and

not really think about it, but we do.” ALL of our relationships that we have brought into

our lives, are there for the purpose of learning lessons from. It sometimes takes a

lifetime to learn one lesson. Then we go on through our life and we choose friendships

Some of them, for the sole purpose of “fixing”. We have friends like that. We all know

people like that. We see people a certain way and we want to fix them. Lots of times this

is so we do not have to look at ourselves. So often we want to do for someone else,

what we refuse to do for ourself. In my own life, because my own childhood was so

filled with drama and drinking and dysfunction - I became addicted to dysfunction.

I didn’t realize it - but I really was addicted to daily drama. My parents fought, and

drank and fought and drank every day they were together. They did’t really know

anything else. Us children were robbed of fun-loving parents who did family things

together and encouraged their children in a healthy way. Drinking was everywhere and

everything to them and every day of their lives. So, when I grew up and decided to look

for a mariage partner.

Healthy, happy normal people were actually boring to me.

My father died at the ripe old age of 52 and never knew any other kind of life. I hated

what he did to our family and I swore I would never forgive him. However, that was my

lesson. What in the world do I mean by this statement? Maybe we have hurt someone

very badly. Maybe no matter how we look at it, or dissect it or try to fix it, the damage is

done. We cannot go back and make it all better again. Yet, just by acknowledging we

understand this to be true.

This is the beginning of healing a wounded heart. Words and actions are powerful

weapons. I remember a time in my life, many years ago when I couldn’t imagine

anyone telling me what to do. I was very stubborn. I could not fathom having humility

I was my own boss and my own dictator and HE was not really in my life. I had been

hurt all my childhood and into adulthood and no one was going to tell me anything.

I remember how important the wrong things were. I remember putting the important

pieces of my life on a back burner and then living life dangerously. I look back at life

now. Somehow I decided with HIS help, I am willing to take complete ownership of all

that I did. Knowing these things, I move forward accepting I cannot change anyone’s

heart. I can only change my own heart and my own behavior. We can pray someone

changes. However, it is not the best idea to have a pollyanna approach to life.

What do I mean by this? Some people stay stuck for a whole lifetime and its okay.

There will be some people that refuse to ever accept an apology. Regardless of what

you do. They will never change their mind and they will take their memories to their

grave. There will be some people that carry a grudge with them now and forevermore.

There will be some people that never accept a request for honest renewed friendship.

These people are out there and they are keeping YOU and I stuck if we allow this.

I came to the understanding that life its about all these moments and what we

decide to make of them. We cannot control what other people do, or other people.

The hardest part of letting go is the hurt. We remember the hurt and what we feel

they have done to us to bring about such pain. A memory can surface and we

refuse to let go of it because we see it only one way - our own way. It’s time though, If

you are reading this now, it is time to let it go. Letting go lifts the veil of discontent and

sadness. It frees all the parties to each memory.

I know that years and years ago, my daughter: Bridgets father and I were divorced.

This hurt the family terribly. Bridget and her brother were very small children. Children

should never have to choose which parent they want to be with. After divorce, children

lose the chance to sit down at the family dinner table together. Divorce brings on so

many other dysfunctional daily dilemmas. Daily pain surfaces. Then out of anger and

sadness and mistrust, mad memories are made. Children grow up and seeds of anger

and mistrust and sadness stay hidden within.

This is exactly what happened to me and my family. There were many years of

darkness and dysfunction and bitter feelings between people involved.

However for me, this is where HE came into focus and I had a chance to acknowledge

this. I completely understand the role that I played and that brought on awareness.

I began to accept that HE died for us and he was forsaken by his own closest friends,

yet he kept on his path and knew what he was suppose to do. Its important to believe

we will only be able to move on and let go of all our past mistakes, sadness. and regret,

when we decide to just “Let go” of all of it. The blame, the worry the reasons……

Every moment of every day we are encircled by our thoughts and our memories

and our daily ideas. This is exactly who we are. This is what makes us weak or strong.

IF we want to have complete clarity and peace of mind and happiness, we have to let

go of these things that keep us stuck in our sadness, anger and regret. Letting go allows

us to peacefully go forward without that burden of regret.

REGRET AND NOT LETTING GO ARE TWIN THIEVES, THEY ROB US OF OUR PEACE OF MIND.

Now that I have shared this with you, I remind you that these are each of our own

separate lessons to learn from.

Today is a brand now day, everything you have done that brings you sadness in

the past, can be gone in a moment.

“Let go.” You can give it up and give it to HIM right now. This is exactly what I try to do

and I want to share this with you today. IF there is a person or persons, in your life, like

there certainly has been In my life, that have hurt you with their words or their actions,

and they refuse to apologize to you. Say a prayer right now for forgiveness.

FORGIVE THEM. Whether it be your mother or father or sister or brother or wife or

husband or any friend, it does not matter. Forgive them now!

Let this go. Turn it all over and release those bad feelings. They can be no more.

Perhaps after letters written. words said, you hear nothing, still, …. Let it go.

Give it to HIM and feel the pressure release. Actually feel the heavy burden stuck within,

lift from every part of your being. Every person is on a different path and we cannot

judge them for this.

Today as I leave you I ask,

“Are you ready to “Let Go” of past burdens weighing you down?”

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