“The Impossible” Blog # 18

Today I find myself looking forward more than looking back. I see now its become

virtually impossible to fix, or repair or alter the past. There will always be things we

can learn from In our past, yet to stay there and feel regret is a sad walk and work in

progress. I myself, have spent countless years going back and forth over things that I

did in the past. I realize that so many of my decisions were based on impulsiveness,

anger and just plain immaturity. It does not matter what age a person is, there will

always be parts of us that tend to refuse to do what we know we must and should.

How often do we put ourselves first before we look at the needs of those around us?

If we are in a family and married with children, it can be hard to navigate the day.

Daily grind, children crying, money owed…. the list goes on. Yet, how and when and why

we make time for ourselves - THEREIN LIES THE ANSWER. When we have children at

home we share the energy in the household all around us. We see that there is a time

and place and reason for everything that happens if we but stop, take a breath, ask for

HIS help and look around.

I remember how my life took so many unnecessary turns. I chose so many alternate

routes all because of the way that I was “SELF MEDICATIING”. I had decided there was

nothing wrong in finding people to surround myself with that had a whole set of

problems ongoing and dysfunctional too. I wanted these people in my life because it

was easier.

Seriously? Did I just say that…I did. I found people to surround myself with that were so

dysfunctional it was easier than dealing with my own issues every day. I sat and talked

on the phone about their problems, anybody’s problems except dealing in a healthy

way with my own. I needed healthier ways to go forward. I know that at times when

we look back at our lives, we think, that if we had known what we were going to go

through - it would have been impossible.

After I was able to buy my grandfathers cabin back and take my own children up

north, I did see another side of life. The quiet, the calm and the majesty of the mighty

oaks that just keep growing year after year. Such peace was there. I laugh now as I

reflect back on the odd personalities of my Aunts around me. The irony of some of

their lives and what they showed or tried to instill in me that was important, yet

reflecting now, such pain they were really hiding.

My two aunts were my favorites. The younger aunt was a dynamo and a very strong

personality. She always talked religion which was so interesting now that I am of her

age range. I looked up to her in so many ways. She was my Mothers sister. So

successful in the restaurant business. She had worked her way up the “hard way”, she

reminded us in that stern voice, daily. Year after year I watched as my mother and

most of my mothers family worked at the restaurant. Even before this restaurant there

was more. All their lives had been enmeshed in this business. Sad to say, most of

them were all alcoholics. I found it so ironic that my Aunt that owned the latest

restaurant, constantly reminded the cousins and family at gatherings up north,

how hard she had worked to make the business what it has become. The ironic part

was she had told us children how she had gone door to door In her community to

bring liquor to that city. How she finally got a liquor license for her business. She went

on and on about the importance of that liquor license. Now they are dead and are all

gone. Even the restaurant that held so many memories for over fifty years, has now

been leveled and replaced by a bank. I suddenly am aware of the this huge irony in

her own life. She worked day after day, walking miles and visiting home after home,

just to get people to vote on giving her a “liquor license”, how ironic.

Her only son who had wanted to be a chiropractor, she convinced otherwise. She

offered him a new Corvette if he would be part of this “thriving three generation

business” and so he did. At his young twenty three year old life, the car was the ticket.

He gave up his own dream of being a chiropractor. On and on they all went drinking

and working, working and drinking. While both he and she struggled with liquor for the

rest of their lives. Eventually, liquor won, and they lost. All they dreamed of was what?

Eventually, it all came falling down. The false facade of life as they saw it. Liquor

brought them down. Be careful what you ask for. I ask daily now. “Not my will Father,

but your will be done”. Remember in my last blog I said, if you really want to make God

laugh, tell him your plans. I think we are given free will for a very specific reason.

We are able to choose. We get to choose every single minute of every day what we

want to think, what we want to do and where we want to go. My son recently told me

something that Einstein said, “Keep doing the same thing and the same thing will

happen”. What are you doing day after day? What did it take to really bring about a

positive, grateful, happy change in my life? It took me accepting HIM into my life 24/7.

I realize living my life is impossible without HIM. There is no possible way we can

navigate our own path each day on our own. So every single morning before I get out

of bed, I lay there and give thanks. I am thankful for every person, every lesson, every

situation that has been given me, to help me grow in a strong, positive healthy way.

There is no other way. So with that in mind I needed a plan. I put something out there,

way out there, a positive plan for my life. However, there will always be that one thing

that happens to you and I that we have no control over. The unexpected. It is

impossible to know how to deal with the unexpected. However, you and I know now, we

can carefully plan through this with the right tools. I know this because I have been

there. I have been to a place of such darkness - it was impossible to see. There

appeared to be no way out. It was impossible to imagine my life going forward. It was

impossible to be anything but stuck. So here’s my take on that right now, put your

hands together, sit quietly and say, “thank you for helping me Lord.” Watch the peace

that comes over you and expect a miracle in return.

As I close today I want to ask you this, “Can you today, do something postiviely

different for yourself? Only you know if you can.

NOW LISTEN TO SONG FOR TODAY - CLICK PLAY BUTTON IN VIDEO BELOW