“My Answers?” Blog #118
What IF what I believe is wrong?
What IF people I am angry with don’t matter?
What IF everything that has happened to ME is to teach ME?
I remember something that happened to me years ago, I had no answer for. I had gotten
a ticket to go see and listen to a very famous man. He was famous for many reasons. He
is a fascinating speaker, an Indian-American author. He was also really big on alternative
medicine. (I did not take drugs and loved the Holistic approach.)
Above all, he is most renowned for his writings. He has written over fifty books and they
are published world-wide in over thirty languages. This night, he was in my city to give a
talk and I wasn’t going to miss it. The problem was, I got there late, it was packed. A few
thousand people were there too. Finally I found one solo seat in the middle of the
auditorium. Once I sat down, I had a mission. Don’t talk to anyone, listen carefully to what
he had to share and leave as soon as it ended.
The man sitting next to me was in his forties, balding with glasses and a slight build. I
could see I had nothing in common with him and nothing to talk to him about. What
caused me to even look over at him was his incessant, happy non-stop chatting to the
person on his other side. I had hopes he would not talk to me. I was focused and fixated
on why I had come here. I was also dealing with my own deep-seeded depression.
As much as my life had been good to me financially and work wise, it was because I had
become a work-a-holic. However, secretly, I knew I was very lost inside of me. All the
trauma way back to my childhood that I had experienced was oddly, constantly catching
up with me at strange moments. Whether it be my childhood, and or the loss of family
members, or my own way of pushing people who had been close to me away, I was
feeling it “big-time”. So here I was, ready for one more speaker to give me all “My answers”
to the darkness that continued to haunt me.
Unfortunately. because of where I was seated and the accoustics in the auditorium, it was
very hard to hear Deepak Chopra share his wisdom with me. I had decided at the
intermission I would leave. Plus I had a thermos of red wine in my car so this would relax
me as I headed home for the night. As I look back on years ago, more than thirty years
ago….. One never knows when Jesus and HIS angels decide to send a miracle into
someones life. I, for one, was not prepared for it. Why, do I feel this? Because I was fine I
rationalized. I had all my answers to my own problems safely figured out, guarded inside
of me. Yet, I had compartmentalized all my issues. Things from the past, too dark and too
scary, think about them another day. People in my family who appeared too distant, just
stay away from. Any and all things in my life that seemed to upset me, I turned away
from, got out my wine at the end of the night and in the morning, dug into my work. So
with that being said - I had My Answers all set. The biggest, saddest, most unfortunate
piece to this:
NO ONE RUNS AWAY FROM THEMSELF. WITHOUT JESUS, LIFE IS AN EMPTY SHELL.
So back to my Deepak Chopra evening. It was now intermission and I decided. I had so
much work to do, I was leaving. However, as I worked my way out of the auditorium into
the main entrance hall for concessions, there were hundreds of people in front of me!
Suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and to my amazement, there stood
the balding, slight framed man with glasses I had been sitting next to. “What in the world
did he want,?” I thought to myself, but smiled and looked over. His next words wound up
having such an impact on my life - I never drank again. WHAT IF EVERY SITUATION THAT
HAPPENED TO ME IN MY LIFE IS A LIFE LESSON TO LEARN FROM? I started to look at life in a
different way, glass half full, not half empty. Most of all I became a believer in “Self
Purpose/Self Worth” and “The things that happen to me, are there to make me stronger
belief”. Above this, I threw away MY ANSWERS to life and started digging deeper. Yet, here
is WHY I changed in a breath…. This man who put his hand on my shoulder said:: “I hope
you are enjoying yourself as much as I am. You know, I lost my wife and four daughters
in our house fire. I am so thankful FOR WHAT they have showed me AFTER giving up
their lives, the lessons I needed to learn and how important my life is for me to learn,
forgive and go do good. Now you have a nice day”. With that, the balding kind man
just smiled at me, turned around, and disappeared into the crowd. I never got his
name. I never saw him again. He never knew my story as well. But then again, did he?
Could he actually be an angel/person who just happened to be there at the right moment
and the right time to share the right information with me? One will never know….
Any person can take what I have shared in any way they want. I however, choose to
believe the latter. I Ieft that night empowered. I felt relieved. I felt I had been given a small
glimpse of “spiritual wisdom from Heaven”. I now believe that angels walk among us.
They are here to give us information, in person, when we really need it. I went to my car
that night, and poured out all the wine, never needing that false kind of support again. I
had a totally different outlook on life. I started to read as much as I could about
spirituality. I started with the Bible. The New Testament was easier to digest. The biggest
change inside me was this. From that one encounter, I climbed out of my scared shell. I
believe now, each and everyone of us have lessons to learn each day. The family
members around me can give me my greatest lessons. Am I open to this? There is no
mindless lesson. EVERY person coming into my life is there for a reason for MY growth! I
now search like never before, for all the real reasons why HE is my answer. I either choose
to grow and learn, or stay stuck with the wrong answers and wrong people and die on the
vine. For Jesus IS the vine and we are HIS branches.
“Can I let go of my answers, and invite Jesus to show me truth?”
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