“Tough Teacher?” Blog # 217
How do I learn any of my lessons now?
Why is it important to “learn lessons” as a person?
Aren’t I in charge of my life to learn whatever I want?
I believe the hardest part of living life is to accept the consequences of my poor choices
and decisions. I now accept, and take responsibility for me - I start today. No such thing
as blame in my life. I choose to learn and grow internally. Every single day I can start over,
Jesus is teaching me daily. Choosing wisely, looking at where I am, my life is guided now.
My past is teaching me…..that makes all the difference.
Relative people in my own family to learn lessons from; there is a “boatload of lessons”
here. My mother married an abusive alcoholic who never stopped destroying his life and
hers. She quit living in darkness when her life came to an abrupt end as she was killed by
the drug addict in her own family. My own brother witnessed horrible abuse, parents who
failed him in his darkness. My Mother, My father, my brother- all gave in to weakness,
alcohol and drugs. Nothing to make light of - lives ruined and gone because of
weakness.. How many of us try to fix family members? Then when we can’t, turn our back
and move on. Do we remove them from our lives? Where does all the hurt go anyway?
The best answer for me is this, I work on myself first. I will not judge anyone, anywhere,
anymore. I will not blame. I will not gossip. I will bless all my family members and leave
their life as they choose me to be in it. I will guard my words and teach myself to “see the
lessons I AM given to learn from” in my own family. I must LOOK AT MYSELF IF A FAMILY
MEMBER TURNS THEIR BACK ON ME. What is it about me that is abrasive? Sometimes it takes
a lifetime to learn these lessons, so I go easy on myself. My lessons are dealt to me first by
seeing others with forgiveness. “There but for the grace of God, Go I”. Another big lesson
to learn from is this, in MY childhood and beyond, I became a “caretaker”. This became
hard on me and took so much of myself away… just not possible to change other people
so, I decided to “be the change”. It’s tough teaching what’s right to oneself. I slowly am
learning how to become a “caregiver”. Interestingly enough, a “caretaker” is a person who
“takes charge of another persons life. A “caregiver” is a person who provides support and
spiritual care for another person’s life. The first one becomes messy, I choose the second
one, I want to be a “caregiver”. A persons will is very strong. If we each only knew how
strong our will is! We each have Free Will. I now use my Free Will to make healthy choices
for myself. I see the tough teacher inside me and want to learn from her. My will is to be
open to Jesus’ light shining throughout me. As light shines, cobwebs are removed.
GOD specifically said HE would NOT interfere with our own FREE WILL.
I use my Free Will to invite Jesus Christ into my heart and soul and mind today. So today I
wind down my blog in stating grief and sadness have no partiality when it comes to
money or fame or people. There is a world renowned woman who has definitely bore
quietly her share of tragedy. She has lost her father to murder, her mother to cancer and
her only brother and sister in law in a plane crash. Yet she is married and quietly living on
the east coast with her husband. She has had two daughters and one son. She is a
lawyer, politician, diplomat, author, wife and mother. Most recently over this past year
Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg was told her eldest daughter Tatiana had cancer, she died
before the end of the year. She left behind two little grandchildren for Caroline to
remember her with. Some people may say, when is “enough enough?” How much grief
can one family be given? And yet we look at Caroline Kennedy’s grandmother Rose. She
had nine children and was a good, religious woman. She lost her eldest son in a plane
crash, her next daughter was killed in a plane crash, and John F. Kennedy, our president,
was killed by an assassins bullet. Then her son, Robert Kennedy, was also assassinated
and left behind a grieving widow with ten children. Almost half of all Roses’ children gone
before her. Yet, she continued to be a devout Catholic until she died at 104 years old.
None of us know how or when we will leave this earth. I now know this, life is not good if I
am weak, alcoholic or drug addicted. My Life is filled with Jesus Christ energy. Jesus is my
only tough-love teacher.
Can I find courage to accept the tough teacher in my life today?
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