“Defy Dark Thoughts” Blog #7

Do you know how to organize your thoughts? Think about thoughts….

Does the word “organize” fit into this same sentence for you? Today is important

for me to take time and focus on a constant battle that rages within us all. Just

plain dealing with our daily life can be tough at times. Trying to stay positive is a

difficult feat to do every single day.

We get up in the morning and start making decisions right away. Does one decision

after another bring on more anxiety? It can, most definitely.

Stress each day can bring more depression until one day, its just too much.

Yet, it doesn’t have to be that way, life can be so much better for you.

One day, life got so much better for me.

Today I am here. I feel good about my life today. I tell you now why I believe this.

First of all, “None of us are given more than we can handle:”

We are promised that none of us will be given more than we can handle.

Each of us have our own separate lessons to learn from. Lessons will be given

to us 24/7. Lessons are given day in and day out. A lesson will be repeated until

it is learned. Then it is time to go on to the next lesson.

And for added measure, just when you have things figured out, the tables turn.

Years ago after I lost my wonderful mother, I became a workaholic.

I showed houses, sold houses, met new people and sold more houses all over again.

It was an early Autumn morning and I remember that day vividly from years ago…

I was in a hurry to list a new home that I was putting on the morket. The home

needed a lock box. I also needed to write my ad for the coming Sundays

Open House. I was driving down the freeway, up against the clock, when all of a

sudden there was a huge traffic jam. Everything came to a complete stop.

None of the cars were moving. I was in the middle lane, and now sandwiched

between all kinds of loud, smelly cars. Suddenly, I was hot and cold. I felt like

screaming. I wanted to get out of the car and run. I just kept thinking, I want to

get out of my car and run away now! It was incredible how many thoughts I

was having in one instant. My eyes were burning and I remember as I put

my head back, I felt the need to stay very still. Traffic was not moving and

neither was I. I sat in my car filled with fear. I instinctively put my hands

together saying “Help me, Help me please….” It seemed like hours had passed

until I began to settle down.. Then I felt a sudden and distinct presence of

HIS peace. This was like nothing I had ever felt before. It was all okay now.

I felt warm and safe and balanced. Everything bad had evaporated into thin

air. At last, I was back to being my own self again.

I looked at my watch, all this had taken place in about twenty minutes!

My fear of the unknown had taken over and I’d been to hell and back.

A few days later I went to see my therapist and told him what happened.

He explained to me I had experienced an anxiety/panic attack.

My therapist also reilnforced that “nothing can harm you if you don’t allow it to”.

He told me to repeat this truth over and over in my head.

“Above all,” he said, “do something different and try to learn about yourself.

Don’t take yourself so seriously and try to laugh more”.

He finished by telling me that “everything is not your fault”.

I marveled at this mans quiet words of wisdom. He himself had seen such

sadness in his own life. Yet he always had such patience ad a ready smile

As I end today, I finally share this added piece - Did my panic attacks come back?

Yes, they certainly did!

I was attending a meeting at my office. There I was, sitting in the middle of a

crowded room of real estate people. Suddenly, I felt those ugly feelings creep

into me all over again. I was clammy. I felt the need to start screaming, and I

wanted to run away fast!

But now I knew something different. I told myself quickly. “You’ve already been

there”. I was mad at myself now and I said “get out of me now!” It worked. It

really worked. I calmed down. I took lots of deep breaths and realized I was

in control. I could organize my thoughts differently and throw out bad thoughts.

I found a beautiful angel to focus on. It was my guardian angel, always with me.

So now with my thoughts organized, I could bring in the light, lots of light. and lots

of beautiful new thoughts. I did this carefully - one long day after the next.

That was a long time ago, over 35 years ago and they are gone forever.

Today I leave you with this question: “Is it time to reorganize your thoughts?”

Is there darkness lurking in the crevices of your mind?

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