Bridget: “Mom’s Story”

……..The end came on a beautiful hot, sunny afternoon in June 2021. 

It had been twelve long days as I sat alone at home, texting back and forth to Bridget at the hotel..  My husband had left for Minnesota with our two young children, for camp, Bridget had no idea they were gone.  Hadn’t she just been staying with us for twelve days before the hotel, with her two little boys?  Yes, she had, and that had been such a nightmare.  What happened to my daughter? How did she turn her back on her beloved boys?  Why did I pick flowers, write her a letter, never delivered that final day?

Maybe if I just go back … The sheer fact that she moved down here… almost out of the blue to start over in the middle of Covid. I was excited and suddenly the first part of October, they were here.  All four of them.  The little boys were four and seven, pretty much beyond precious.  Could I do enough to make them feel comfortable? Of course, they would, and did, stay with us.  Now they were starting over on the East Coast.

So many things happened leading up to those final twelve days in the hotel.   Why in God’s name wasn’t I more observant?  Why didn’t I demand to look inside her backpack, inside her purse? Her purse - she would not part from it for a moment. All twelve days she stayed with us before the hotel, never once letting her backpack or her purse out of sight. So much heartache all those days. Bridget and her whole family had stayed with us over three months!   We laughed a lot, went and explored our state, and her sweet boys gave us every reason to enjoy them. Daily skateboarding, biking and their funny little jokes, so endearing..

It was an amazing Christmas; I’ve watched the videos where we all vacationed together for one last time.  My husband took us all away to a historic resort, then we all came back. They found their own house and were moving in January 2021.  I hadn’t seen Bridget this excited for years.  She had been married over eight years years now. She went straight to work, building her family and business they owned together. Bridget was super smart. She graduated from Indiana University with her degree. She did a Semester abroad in Seville Spain at the end of her college and we met her. We traveled Europe and made memories for a lifetime. She went on to grad. school at De Paul University and earned her Early Childhood degree. When she received her Master Degree, we rewarded her with a new Escalade for graduation. Bridgets life appeared to be on track. She was teaching at a private school before getting married. When it came to reinventing herself, she was right there.  Her thick, long, many shades of blonde hair, cascaded down around her face.  She had a face that was flawless and God had made her perfect…. looking. She never really embraced this truth though.  Bridget’s soft pink painted lips encircled the loveliest smile and that last contagious laugh., I miss her laugh the most. This made her even more approachable.  Everyone around her saw it. A kind oval face framed the biggest blue-green eyes, thick lashes and a style for dress, put her in a category all of her own. Bridget gave you her opinion on just about anything. If you were open, she wanted to talk. Looking at Bridget you saw a little bit of Brittney Spears but the rest was all uniquely Bridget. How she loved playing the piano.…..So, what happened to her choices? What sadness, darkness and grief was inside?

Bridget had a big heart. No sad story could ever get past her without her wanting to fix things.  When she moved into their new house, it was beautiful. Then by April Bridget remembered my birthday, and sent me two boxes: dark chocolate Biscotti, and a beautiful crystal angel. A beautiful glass angel that now replaces her.. The last gift I received was two days before Mothers Day.  Bridget sent a box of spa lotions and soap. I was beginning to worry. I had not spoken to her;.  I sent an invite asking them to come for Mother’s Day Dinner around 4pm, and was this okay? I was alarmed when I got her lengthy text - “I wish this would work mom but, I am physically still having a hard time just getting around, walking around….  And so no, this will not work for me.”’ Oh my God….how to read between those lines?  What is she talking about? An injury?  WHAT KIND OF INJURY?  She had not told me.., I decided we would use Mothers Day to just drop in.

May 9th  her husband met me at the door.  I walked into their darkened bedroom, shutting out the sunlight.  “Honey, what’s going on?” I said. Bridget looked surprised, tired. and immediately began to cry.. ”Mom, please, please don’t be mad at me! She was crying very hard;. “ I had a stroke and then a few days later I had a seizure.,  It all happened two weeks ago. I’ve lost lots of feeling in my legs, that’s why I have a walker. Inside of me, mom, I’m just a total mess.”  I tried to take what she said to me, all in..  “My young, vibrant, beautiful daughter had a stroke!?” Then she had a seizure? She needed to go to a hospital now !. However, she would not listen to reason. Why wasn’t she in a hospital to help her?

I remember that last month, she had moved out so quickly taken both her precious boys and begged to stay with us. Then, staying at our home, we missed so many clues. Pills had dropped down into the couch, , empty vodka bottles hidden. What was terrifying to her mind? HOW LONG HAD BRIDGET BEEN TAKING PILLS AND DOWNING THEM WITH VODKA.? A STROKE…..A SEIZURE….?

We agreed she needed rest. We would bring dinner after Mothers Day.. I had no idea what was to follow.There was never any time to focus on one thing because the next situation was unfolding so fast, we had to get through that. The last person Bridget spoke with was her brother. They talked for one half hour, while she shared her pain on Monday. Tuesday Bridget was dead. No one saw Bridget in her hotel room where she stayed broken, isolated and alone for twelve days, right to the end. Now I must watch in horror as the only Mother these sweet little boys ever knew is gone forever! By now I have learned my choices: There are only two choices, dark or light. I must stay strong , pray and stay in the light. I choose to remember Bridget’s best talents. What a beautiful piano player Bridget was. . Yet, when I was called andI walked into that hotel room, what was I to discover….?

Please listen to Bridget’s favorite song, as artists play this on the piano, violin and viola..

CLICK THE PLAY BUTTON BELOW IN THE VIDEO